Wednesday, June 17, 2020 – Edition: #6721

Get a Load of This Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Film’s biggest night is being rescheduled for the first time in 40 years due to the coronavirus pandemic. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has announced that the 93rd Oscars will no longer take place on February 28 as planned. Instead, the show will take place on April 25, 2021. In addition to the delay, the Academy agreed to extend the eligibility window for films, which usually corresponds to the calendar year. For the 2021 Oscars, the new window will be extended until February 28, 2021.
-CNN
★ Phoebe Waller-Bridge is reportedly in talks to work on a female-led ‘James Bond’ spin-off movie series. The “Killing Eve” writer has been approached to come up with a story documenting how the daughter of 007 becomes an agent herself. The news follows Waller-Bridge’s work on the script for upcoming Bond film “No Time To Die”, which will be Daniel Craig’s last outing as 007. We learned last week that in the film, Bond reportedly becomes a dad.
-Canoe
★ Hannah Brown to the rescue. Over the weekend, the former ‘Bachelorette’ was white water rafting in Tennessee when she helped a man who flipped his raft. The man’s girlfriend shared the news on Twitter, writing, “How fun — Hannah Brown saved my boyfriend from drowning in the Ocoee River today.” When another user replied in disbelief, the woman explained, and wrote that that they didn’t know who she was at first until Brown’s brother mentioned she had starred on “The Bachelorette”.
-MSN
★ Forget the PS5, the coolest new video game to play right now is an online version of a joke from “The Simpsons”: a fake video game the show created called “Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge.” Game designer and Simpsons fan Aaron Demeter created an online version of the game that digitizes a gag from the 1995 episode of “The Simpsons” called “Marge Be Not Proud.” The online game allows you to step through nearly identical dialogue from the show, as voiced by Homer Simpson actor Dan Castellaneta, in which you set up on a putting green and are asked to choose between a putter and a 3-wood.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sarah Paulson
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sean Penn, Robin DiAngelo, Weezer
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sen. Kamala Harris, Milky Chance & Jack Johnson
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Hank Azaria
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Doja Cat
• “Conan” (TBS): Sam Richardson (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ozzy & Kelly Osbourne, Sherri Shepherd
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Laverne Cox, Monica Mangin
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Judd Apatow, Justina Machado, Kate Flannery
• “Game On!” (CBS): Comic Nicole Byer joins Team Gronk and former pro baseball player David Ortiz joins Team Venus as they compete in a life-sized game of human foosball, attempt to master rhythmic gymnastics and go head to head in a unique baseball drill.
• “Prehistoric Road Trip” (PBS): Series premiere. A journey through billions of years of Earth’s past includes some of the planet’s earliest life forms, from primitive bacteria to giant reptiles.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake – leads the pack of nominees for the 2020 “BET Awards” with six. Megan Thee Stallion and Roddy Ricch have five each, and Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, Chris Brown, Lizzo and DaBaby all have four. The awards ceremony is Sunday, June 28.
• Kanye West — has reportedly filed a trademark to expand his Adidas Yeezy line into cosmetics, skincare, haircare and fragrance. The trademark would cover a wide range of beauty products such as makeup, fake lashes, face mask, nail polish, body oils, shaving cream, haircare, perfume, toothpaste, deodorant and more. Oh yeah…also scented pine cones and aromatherapy pillows.
• Kelly Clarkson — honored those protesting oppression and racism with her latest “Kellyoke” performance. She belted out U2’s ‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’, alongside a montage of photos from Black Lives Matter protests. She is urging viewers to share their experiences with racism using #StartTheConversation.
• Kid Rock – His bar on Nashville’s Lower Broadway was issued a citation for violating public health orders related to COVID-19 on Friday, after a photo showing “Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk & Rock ‘n’ Roll Steakhouse” packed with unmasked patrons went viral.
• The Beatles — The city of Liverpool is looking at the history of Penny Lane to determine if the street, memorialized in the song of the same name, is named after a notorious slave trader. Several street signs were defaced recently, with the word “Penny” crossed out and “Racist” written above it.
• Men At Work – Former frontman Colin Hay and City Winery have put together a stellar cast of performers for “Dear Father”, a live-stream event on Father’s Day. Also performing: Bruce Cockburn, Hay, Dar Williams, Billy Bragg, Joan Osborne, Fantastic Negrito, Nikka Costa, Glen Phillips, Delta Goodrem, and more. Proceeds will help save independent venues across the US.
• Tim McGraw – says that although he and wife Faith Hill have been enjoying each other’s company while cooking and watching movies during quarantine, he does have one habit that gets on her nerves. Quote: “I spent 30 years in hotel rooms…so I’ve never even thought about cleaning up, but she’s a neat freak, so she likes everything pretty clean.”
• Maren Morris – has gifted fans with two previously unheard songs, ‘Just for Now’ and ‘Takes Two’. She wrote on social media that the past year has been “one of the most transformative periods” of her life, and in her time off the road she decided to “polish up” the two old songs.

GETTING IMPLANTS:
A doctor in Las Vegas says he can add up to six inches to your height through a leg “stretching” procedure. Surgeon and orthopedic specialist Dr. Kevin Debiparshad says he has developed a method in which he will “cut the leg bones”, then insert a device that slowly stretches them out with the help of a remote control. According to one patient, who says his height increased from 5ft 4in (162cm) to 5ft 6.7in (169cm), it was one of the most painful experiences of his life, but he is very happy with the results, which have given him a “huge boost in confidence”. He was able to return to normal activities within weeks. How much does “cosmetic limb-lengthening” cost? About $75,000.
(I’m guessing that’s not covered by my health plan at work?)
(I’m not sure if I’m wincing in pain over the description of the procedure…or the price!)
(Or for $75K you can do what all the other short guys do – buy a Corvette!)
-LADBible

SPECIAL K:
According to a study, COVID-19 patients who are deficient in Vitamin K, which is found in certain cheeses, spinach and eggs, are more likely to be admitted to intensive care or die. Dutch researchers say their study followed 134 hospitalized patients and compared them to a group of 184 age-matched patients who did not have the disease. Researchers found that patients who had to be admitted to the ICU, or died from COVID-19, had lower levels of Vitamin K compared to the healthy group. While COVID-19 was initially thought to be a respiratory illness, there is increasing evidence to suggest it affects other areas of the body and causes blood clotting. Vitamin K plays a role in the production of proteins that regulate clotting in the blood, and can help those who are having difficulty breathing due to inflammation in the lungs. Vitamin K is found primarily in green leafy vegetables, such as spinach, kale, broccoli, and collard greens. The other form, vitamin K2, is present in animal-based and fermented foods, such as eggs, dark chicken, and butter, as well as in various cheeses, including Gouda, Jarlsberg, and Munster.
(I never thought that I’d be adding ‘kale’ to my shopping list…)
(Can’t doctors just prescribe whiskey like they did during the Spanish Flu?)
-CTV, AP

WHAT THE FOX:
According to legend, cats domesticated themselves about 12,000 years ago by recognizing that a life among people could provide them with a steady stream of food, shelter and affection. Now, it appears that some red foxes in the UK are doing the same thing.  A study of a collection of fox skulls held in the National Museums Scotland found that while rural foxes remain adapted for speed and hunting small, scampering prey, urban foxes have different priorities. Their skulls reflect the different needs of a carnivore that scavenges in a city full of human refuse. Shorter, stronger snouts are better adapted for breaking open packaging and crunching leftover bones, and smaller brains are OK when your meals don’t run away. Together, these characteristics resemble what Darwin called “domestication syndrome”, a set of traits that accompany a wild animal’s transition to tameness, and eventually domestication. At this point, the foxes are nowhere near as domesticated as dogs or cats, but the study shows that a human environment like a city is enough to nudge animals down a domesticated evolutionary path. One evolutionary biologist says what’s really fascinating is that the foxes are “doing this to themselves.”
(“’Scuse me, is this where I sign up for the free food and cuddles?”)
(I’ve always thought foxes were a case of Dog Hardware running Cat Software…)
(And just like the local cats, they keep crapping in my garden!)
-SmithsonianMag

RIDICULOUS RULES OF THE ROAD:
➢ Dubai: It is illegal to drive a dirty car. But it’s also illegal to wash it outside your home. (So, are you supposed to have it towed to the car wash?)
➢ Japan:  You can be fined for splashing muddy water on a pedestrian.  (So, if you’re going to splash a pedestrian, make sure the puddle is clean!)
➢ Hermosa Beach, California:  It’s illegal to spill your Margarita on any street.
➢ Alabama:  It’s illegal to drive while blindfolded. (I shudder to think about the incident that caused them to make this a law…)
➢ Greece:  If you park illegally, your licence plate could be removed by police.
➢ Hilton Head, SC:  It’s illegal to store trash in your car due to rat problems.
➢ Arkansas:  It’s illegal to beep your horn where ice-cold beverages or sandwiches are served after 9pm.
➢ Manila:  It’s illegal to drive on main roads on a Monday if your plate ends in a ‘1’ or a ‘2’.
➢ Massachusetts:  It’s illegal to operate a car with a gorilla in the backseat. (So, put him in the front, I guess?)
-DailyInfographic

DID YOU KNOW?
The universe is actually flat, according to researchers at the University of Portsmouth. They say they have
improved the way dark energy is measured, leading to the shocking discovery that the universe is flat. This contradicts the previous notion that the universe is a never-ending expansion of a bubble.
-NewsLanded

BS CHRONOMETER 06.17.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [77] Barry Manilow, Brooklyn NY, singer (‘Mandy’, ‘Copacabana’, ‘I Write the Songs’)

1960 [60] Thomas Haden Church, Woodland CA, movie actor (“Spider-Man 3”, “Sideways”)/TV actor (“Wings” 1990-95)

1963 [57] Greg Kinnear, Logansport IN, movie actor (“Anchorman: The Legend Continues”, “Little Miss Sunshine”)

1966 [54] Jason Patric, Queens NY, movie actor (“The Lost Boys”, “Speed 2”)

1970 [50] Will Forte, Alameda CA, TV actor (“The Last Man on Earth” 2015-18, “Saturday Night Live” 2002-12)

1980 [40] Venus Williams, Lynwood CA, former #1-ranked women’s tennis player (49 singles titles, $41.8 million in career winnings/older sister of Serena Williams

1982 [38] Jodie Whittaker, Huddersfield England, TV actress (“Dr. Who” since 2017)

1987 [33] Kendrick Lamar, Compton CA, rapper-songwriter (f/The Wknd –‘Pray for Me’, ‘Humble’)

1997 [23] KJ (Keneti James) Apa, Auckland New Zealand, TV actor (‘Archie Andrews’ on ‘Riverdale” since 2017)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Eat Your Vegetables Day”, an observance likely begun by somebody’s Mother somewhere.

• “World Day to Combat Desertification & Drought”, observed every year to promote public awareness of international efforts to combat it. (I’m a waaay bigger fan of the much less well-known “Dessertification and Draught” day, which I celebrate every Saturday…)

• “Apple Strudel Day”, the oldest known recipe for apple strudel (Apfelstrudel) is from Austria. It was handwritten in 1696.

• “Garbage Man Day”, actually this year in the US, the occasion has been re-branded as “Waste & Recycling Workers Week”. Whether they are “Garbage Men”, “Sanitation Specialists” or “Waste Management Professionals”, thank them today (after all, they’re the ones who know about all the empty bottles you hide at the bottom of your recycle bin…)

• “World Croc Day” (the reptile, not the shoe), part of a global awareness campaign to highlight the plight of endangered crocodiles and alligators around the world.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Autistic Pride Day
[Thurs] Go Fishing Day
[Fri] Garfield the Cat Day
[Fri] Flip Flop Day

TODAY IN SHOWBIZ . . .
2018 [02] “The Incredibles 2” sets a box office record for an animated release, earning $180 million its opening weekend

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2005 [15] Coldplay’s “X&Y” album achieves #1 status in 22 countries worldwide

2008 [12] Katy Perry’s major-label debut album, “One of the Boys”, is released, featuring the hit single ‘I Kissed a Girl’. It’s not her first album — in 2001 she released a gospel album under her real name, Katy Hudson.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011 [09] The first condemnation of discrimination against gays, lesbians, and transgender people is issued by the United Nations Human Rights Council

TODAY’S CHASE . . .
1994 [26] O.J. Simpson doesn’t turn himself in on murder charges, and LA cops chase his Ford Bronco for 1½ hours. He eventually gives up (seen live on TV)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The population of the Earth has more than doubled since 1950.
✓ No matter how cold it gets, gasoline will not freeze.
✓ Women have a slightly higher average IQ than men.
✓ A microwave uses more electricity to power its clock than it does to heat your food.
✓ All Bran is only 87% bran.
✓ World’s heaviest primates? Morbidly obese humans. Second? Gorillas, at 485 lbs.
-WhattheFFacts

Best of BS . . .
BS POOR CAR CLEANING TIPS:
• For an excellent finish, park under a Maple tree.
• Cover any soiled areas inside with some of those fast food wrappers under the seat.
• You know that guy who stands at the corner with a squeegee?  He’ll do your whole car if you stay for an extra red light.
• Drive under Niagara Falls for a quick and easy rinse.
• Leave it unlocked with the windows down and someone else will clean it out for you.
• Instead of “wax on, wax off”, skip steps one and two.
• Sand paper makes a handy scouring pad to get rid of bird droppings.
• Stop making car payments and it will soon become someone else’s job to clean it.
• Just hang a minty air freshener and be done with it.
• Put kids in it.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

IF FATHERS WERE REALLY IN CHARGE:
• Garbage would take itself out.
• Phones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
• Nodding and looking at your watch would be an acceptable response to “I love you”.
• Report card comments would be limited to “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time!”
• If your wife really needed to talk to you in the middle of a game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the TV screen … during a time-out.
• A giant foam hand saying “You’re #1!” would be an acceptable anniversary gift.

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Sunday is Father’s Day.  (Or, as it’s widely-known in the NBA, “Opening Cards From Strangers Day”.)
➠ An Illinois man has been arrested after getting his truck stuck in a field while trying to get away from police. (He was charged with criminal damage, unlawful use of a weapon, and fleeing and eluding, but may plead guilty to the lesser charge of being a redneck.)
➠ SpongeBob SquarePants is gay, Nickelodeon has revealed for Pride Month. (Which explains why they’re changing the title of the series to “SpongeBob and the Square, but totally irresistible, Pants.”
➠ In a recent interview, Adam Sandler revealed he had a near death experience while filming a fight scene for “Uncut Gems”… and went home with bruises all over his body. (He was so upset that he threw a temper tantrum and babbled like a baby. Which he, of course, filmed to release as his next movie…)
➠ Donald Trump turned 74 on Sunday.  (He immediately blamed the aging process on Don Lemon, immigrants and Kristen Stewart…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Sax solo (sax solo…):  https://tinyurl.com/yazhhycl

BS U-PICK TRIVIA (Dad’s Day edition):
• Who is Meg, Chris and Stewie’s father in “Family Guy”?
a) Peter Griffin [CORRECT]
b) Chris Griffin
c) Mickey Griffin
d) Gryffindor

• How many daughters did Charles Ingalls have in “Little House on the Prairie”?
a) 1
b) 2
c) 3 [CORRECT]
d) 4.5

• Finish Belle’s quote about Maurice in “Beauty and the Beast”: “My Father’s not crazy. He’s…”
a) A genius [CORRECT]
b) An inventor
c) An artist
d) Insane
-PartyCurrent, OhMyDisney

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The best thing about the good old days is that we were neither good nor old.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What was the last live event you attended?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  4% of women say THIS has motivated them to lose weight. What is it?
Answer:  Starting a new job

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.