Tuesday, September 13, 2005        Edition: #3114
Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT “Desperate Housewives” star James Denton & Carmen Electra co-host the pre-taped “2005 World Music Awards” from Hollywood’s Kodak Theatre on ABC-TV, featuring Destiny’s Child (‘Best Pop Group’), Gwen Stefani (‘Best-Selling New Female Artist’) and The Game (‘Best-Selling New Male Artist’) . . . “South Park” creators Trey Parker & Matt Stone have re-upped their contract with Comedy Central for 3 more years, taking the series through its 12th season . . . MGM Studios & Ice Cube (O’Shea Jackson) have been hit with a $100-million lawsuit from filmmaker James Davis who claims the 2002 hit movie “Barbershop” was stolen from a script he wrote years ago called “The Shop” (based on his own experiences working in an Atlanta barber shop) . . . “Lost” star Dominic Monaghan says one of the hazards of working on the hit TV show is – the cast stinks, a result of spending weeks in the same clothes while shooting (freshly washed & ironed clothing wouldn’t look authentic) . . . 67-year-old Jane Fonda has refused to have her wrinkles airbrushed out of an upcoming cover shot for “Good Housekeeping” magazine (now there’s a woman who’s comfortable in her own skin – her own saggy, wrinkled, greying skin) . . . The 1967 Beatles song “A Day in the Life” has been voted ‘Best British Song of All-Time’ in a new “Q” magazine poll . . . Drug-addled Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty claims he has already wed model Kate Moss in secret (or he may have been hallucinating) . . . Britney Spears’ publicist is denying reports that she’s given birth prematurely, saying she’s not even in hospital yet . . . Chopsocky actor Jackie Chan says he wants to quit action movies within 5 years (he’d be a tad old to do his own stunts at 56) . . . And a crew member who worked on the Belgian set of the upcoming Matt Damon film “The Good Shepherd” is offering a cream puff partially eaten by the Hollywood hottie on eBay as well as – a fork that was actually in his mouth (yep, it’s got his DNA slobbered all over it!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – In her new book “John”, John Lennon’s first wife Cynthia Lennon claims he was prone to violent fits of jealousy and on one occasion actually hit her. They divorced in 1968.
• Brooks & Dunn – They’ve sent a transport truck loaded with cellphones, clothing and other necessities for Hurricane Katrina victims. “Play Something Country” is their 23rd #1 song.
• Cutting Edge – The 5-piece band from Dundee Scotland fuses music from Scottish, Irish, rock & Latin traditions.
• Destiny’s Child – Jay-Z claims they’ll return in 18 months, but the group says there are currently no plans to reunite … although they won’t rule it out.
• Jack Johnson – TONIGHT he’s on “Late Show With David Lettterman”.
• Joe Nichols – He’s received a case of Patron Tequila Platinum Series as thanks for the mention in his new country hit “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off”.
• Jones Gang – The British-based group’s Kenney Jones (former back-up with The Who), Rick Wills (Foreigner) & Robert Hart (Bad Company) have performed on some of the biggest rock recordings of all-time including “Stay With Me”, “It’s Only Rock & Roll” and “Juke Box Hero”. Their current single “Angel” is being used in a PSA encouraging support for US military families.
• Natasha Bedingfield – She’s the daughter of 2 New Zealand-born social workers, but she calls London home. She & brother Daniel are the only brother & sister to have separate #1 solo hits in the UK.
• Scott Grimes – The 34-year-old “Livin’ on the Run” singer is also an actor with a recurring role on “ER”, playing ‘Dr Archie Morris’. He once considered a career in pro hockey but now only plays in celebrity charity games.
• Switchfoot – TONIGHT they do “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Tracy Chapman – TONIGHT she’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• New in stores TODAY: David Gray’s “Life in Slow Motion”; Trisha Yearwood’s “Jasper County”; Bonnie Raitt’s “Souls Alike”; Tracy Chapman’s “Where You Live”; Damian ‘Jr Gong’ Marley’s “Welcome to Jamrock”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Fever Pitch” (Romantic Comedy – DVD): When a business exec (Drew Barrymore) meets a high school teacher (Jimmy Fallon) she falls head-over-heels, then later discovers he’s a Boston Red Sox fan – a totally obsessed Red Sox fan. The final scene was shot at Fenway Park on October 27, 2004 when the Sox finally won the World Series.
• “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” (Sci-Fi Adventure – DVD): Martin Freeman stars as everyman ‘Arthur Dent’, who is whisked off Earth by his friend ‘Ford Prefect’ (Mos Def) just seconds before it’s demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass. Previously the subject of a radio series, record album, novel, TV series, computer game, stage show and comic book, this bigscreen version didn’t make much of a dent at the box office.
• “Rock School” (Musical Documentary – DVD): The true story of Paul Green, wannabe rock god and founder of Philadelphia’s Paul Green School of Music, which inspired the Jack Black movie comedy “School of Rock”. This real-life doc follows the tantrum-prone teacher as he pushes misfit kids to live out their musical dreams.
• Also out on DVD TODAY: “Coal Miner’s Daughter: 25th Anniversary Edition”, “Everybody Loves Raymond: Season 4″, and the double-disc set “Jimi Hendrix – Live at Woodstock” featuring his closing performance from August 18, 1969, arguably one of the most iconic moments in rock history.

BIG HEAD, LITTLE TALENT:
A new University of Florida study finds that people who have a high opinion of themselves get little admiration on-the-job. Conceited, vain and self-absorbed employees tend to have an overinflated opinion about their skills but are often sub-par performers in the view of their supervisors and co-workers. Bottom line – not recognizing your own limitations prevents you from developing skills that would help you improve and make your company more effective. (For more information, see the TV series “The Office”.)
– “Journal of Applied Psychology”

iPHONE NEXT?
There’s speculation that Apple Computer may introduce its own cellphone-iPod combo dubbed the ‘iPhone’, which will be designed by Apple from the ground up. First, though, analysts say Apple will want to see how well its collaboration with Motorola, the new ROKR E1 phone does. The ‘iPhone’ might include Apple’s well-known ‘click wheel’ to navigate through functions and also a pop-out keyboard. It would also be a true iPod, holding thousands of songs and photos, compared to limit of 100 tunes that the ROKR phone can store. (Soon we’ll have a single gizmo for all functions – an electronic Swiss Army Knife.)
– CBC News

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• A Greek woman in a sleepy island village has been charged with growing cannabis with the intent of trafficking after cops spotted a small potted plant on her balcony. Her excuse? The plant likely grew from a seed dropped by one of her pet canaries and she’s been watering it regularly, thinking it looked quite nice. Seems plausible – considering she’s 75-years-old!
• Managers at the zoo in Krakow, Poland called police after arriving in the morning to find the door to ‘Joey’ the kangaroo’s cage broken open and the marsupial missing. They theorize that some zoo visitors fell in love with the ‘roo, so they hid until closing time in order to break in and steal the animal.
• Gopal Singh has just notched up his 100th jail sentence, most of which resulted from selling illicit alcohol to thirsty people in Andhra Pradesh, a dry province in southern India. That’s been his occupation since the age of 10 and, so far, he’s spent 13 of his 25 years in the slammer!
• Late-night cable TV viewers in Fort Smith, Arkansas called cops when they realized they were listening to an attempted robbery while their screens displayed bids on a show called “Shopping Mania”. Clever program host Gary Spirito told the men who demanded his car keys: “We’re doing a live show here and there’s probably hundreds of people out there calling the police.” Both suspects were quickly arrested.

HE ONLY HAS EYES FOR YOU:
Dr Keith Mathieson of Scotland’s Glasgow University is using digital camera technology to create the ‘bionic eye’. He’s already developed a microchip that can replicate the role played by the retina, the sensitive lining at the back of the eye that converts light into signals sent to the brain. It may take up to 20 years to perfect but the electronic implant will be capable of curing 2 of the most common forms of blindness and would allow eye doctors to restore sight to hundreds of thousands. (A slew of divorces are expected to follow.)
– “Fortean Times”

OLDSTERS AREN’T RUDE, JUST IMPULSIVE:
According to a new Australian study, seniors who ask others embarrassing questions in public aren’t trying to be rude, it’s just that aging has caused changes in brain function. Tests carried out by researchers at the University of New South Wales found that people aged 65-to-93 are far more likely to ask others personal questions than younger age groups. (Don’t be fooled – they’re just messing with our minds.)
– “Psychology & Aging”

DID YOU KNOW?
Researchers estimate the average duration of a sexual encounter between chimpanzees is 10 seconds.

SHE SAID IT:
”You have to watch the clock constantly because you’re only allowed out of your home for a limited period, and for a busy person watching the clock, and knowing other people are watching the clock, is extremely difficult.”   – Domestic diva Martha Stewart telling the new issue of “Time” magazine that home confinement was tougher than doing time in federal prison.

THE BULL SHEET 09.13.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1971 [34] Stella McCartney, London UK, fashion designer (Gucci, Chloe)/Paul & Linda McCartney’s daughter/PETA advocate

1975 [30] Joe Don Rooney, Picher OK, country musician (Rascal Flatts-“Skin”, “Fast Cars & Freedom”)

1977 [28] Fiona Apple (McAfee), NYC, pop singer (1998 Grammy Award-“Criminal”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Positive Thinking Day”, thanks to some eager-beaver keener somewhere.

TODAY is “Peanut Day”. Peanuts are not really nuts at all but legumes (edible seeds enclosed in pods). As a group, legumes provide the best source of concentrated protein in the plant kingdom. A few recent facts about peanuts …
• New research shows peanuts & peanut butter help reduce heart disease risk by 14%.
• A Harvard study shows peanuts & peanut butter may also reduce risk of type 2 diabetes.
NET: http://www.peanut-institute.org

TODAY is “Computer Programmers Day”, honoring all the geeks who keep coming up with ever innovative ways of freezing our PCs.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1990 [15] TV drama “Law & Order” debuts (eventually spawns spin-off shows “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” and “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”)

2000 [05] 1st night of 2-episode special Canadian edition of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” on CTV, hosted by Pamela Wallin (about $60,000 is given away after Canadians spend well over a million bucks on $2-phone calls attempting to qualify)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1960 [45] FCC bans ‘payola’ after discovering radio DJs are getting money & gifts for playing specific records

1993 [12] 1st episode of “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” on NBC-TV

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1996 [09] Rapper Tupac Shakur dies at age 25 in Las Vegas hospital, 6 days after a drive-by shooting

1997 [08] Best-selling single recording of all-time is released (Elton John’s tribute to Princess Diana, “Candle in the Wind 1997″, sells over 35 million copies worldwide)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1992 [13] 1st ‘puntless’ football game in NFL history as Jim Kelly-led Buffalo Bills and San Francisco 49ers led by Steve Young rack up 1,086 yards in total offense – without punting the ball once (Bills win 34-31)

1996 [09] USA defeats Canada 5-2 in sudden-death final of 1st “World Cup of Hockey” (Canadians gasp in shame, while most Americans aren’t even aware of it)

2001 [04] 1st time most people hear the name Osama Bin Laden as he’s fingered by the US government as the mastermind behind the 9/11 terrorist attacks

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1922 [83] Maximum outdoor shade temperature ever recorded (58 C/136 F at Al’azizyah, Libya)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] International Cross-Culture Day
[Wed] Pregnant Womens Day
[Thurs] Care Givers Day
[Thurs] “Survivor: Guatemala” debuts
[Fri] National POW/MIA Recognition Day
[Fri] Paul McCartney tour begins [Miami]
[Sun] 57th Primetime Emmy Awards
This Week Is … Financial Services Week
This Month Is … Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
INGREDIENTS TO A GOOD MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO WOMEN:
5. Compassion.
4. Commitment.
3. Ability to compromise.
2. Communication.
1. Respect.
INGREDIENTS TO A GOOD MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO MEN:
5. Commitment.
4. Compatibility.
3. Respect.
2. Good sex.
1. Intimacy.
– “Love & Sex” magazine

BS PHONE STARTER:
Who do you think is the most pointless celebrity? (In a British poll for the TV show “The Death of the Celebrity”, Victoria Beckham comes out on top, just slightly ahead of her hubby David.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: If you’re average, you’ll have 13 of THESE in your lifetime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Prank phone calls.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The trouble with reality is there’s no background music.