Tuesday, August 16, 2005        Edition: #3095
Bull Soup For the Radio Personality’s Soul!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT Hilary Duff & Rob Schneider (“Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”) host the “2005 Teen Choice Awards” on FOX-TV, honoring teen fans’ favorite celebs including Gwen Stefani who’ll receive the ‘Choice Visionary Award’ (as the show was pre-taped, all the winners are listed here: https://www.teenpeople.com/teenchoice) . . . TONIGHT high school drop-out Tommy Lee’s unlikely new reality show “Tommy Lee Goes to College” debuts on NBC-TV in which the Motley Crue drummer takes classes and tries out for the marching band at the University of Nebraska . . . TONIGHT Donald Trump guest stars on “Queer Eye”, but alas, the ‘Fab Five’ will not be tackling the tangled mess on top of his skull, but instead making over Danny Kastner, the guitar-playing dork from “The Apprentice 3″ . . . Ozzy Osbourne says he’ll retire from his annual “Ozzfest” tour after this year because of a throat problem . . . Lindsay Lohan has struck a deal with ‘Barbie’-maker Mattel to market a ‘Lindsay’ doll that’s all decked out for a Hollywood premiere, complete with interchangeable high heels . . . Actor Hugh Jackman has reportedly turned down a 3-movie deal to play secret agent ‘James Bond’ . . . Actor Brad Pitt & Brit actress Kelly Brook have the ‘World’s Best Beach Bodies’, according to a new poll by lastminute.com . . . And Paris Hilton has reportedly traded her infamous dog ‘Tinkerbell’ for a new one called ‘Bambi’, because she only likes dogs when they’re very small, and the ‘Tinkster’ just got too big.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – TONIGHT she’s on ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
• Ashlee Simpson – TONIGHT she’s on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Brad Paisley – TODAY his 4th album “Time Well Wasted” is out, which includes duets with Alan Jackson & Dolly Parton and guest appearances by Bill Anderson & George Jones. Also in stores TODAY: Hilary Duff’s “Most Wanted”, 311’s “Don’t Tread on Me”, and Jimmie Dale Gilmore’s “Come on Back”.
• Carrie Underwood – The latest “American Idol” winner has been honored by the state of Oklahoma with signs reading “Checotah OK – Home of Carrie Underwood” on main roads leading into her hometown.
• The Game – He’ll make his acting debut in a new action thriller called “Waist Deep”, playing the leader of a vicious criminal gang. It will be directed by Vonde Curtis Hall, who also made Mariah Carey’s 2002 flop “Glitter”.
• Jason Mraz – TONIGHT he does “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Paul McCartney – He’s denying rumors that he’ll buy out Michael Jackson’s 50% share in The Beatles’ song catalogue. Not that he isn’t interested; he’s just smart! The agreement was originally set up with an expiry date, so the rights will eventually revert to McCartney anyway.
• Usher – He’s reportedly told friends he’s considering moving to NYC to become a recording executive rather than continuing as an artist. Could he be retiring from his singing career at age 26?

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Sin City” (Crime Thriller): Director Robert Rodriguez’s adaptation of comic book icon Frank Miller’s stories based in the fictional town of ‘Sin City’ features a slew of stars, including Jessica Alba, Alexis Bledel, Benicio Del Toro, Josh Hartnett, Brittany Murphy, Bruce Willis & Mickey Rourke. The stories are infested with criminals, crooked cops and sexy dames, some searching for vengeance, some for redemption and others, for both.
• “The Wedding Date” (Romantic Comedy): Debra Messing stars as an anxious single woman who hires a male escort (Dermot Mulroney) to pose as her boyfriend at her sister’s wedding. Guess what happens?
• “The Ballad of Jack & Rose” (Drama): Daniel Day-Lewis plays a father who’s sheltered his 16-year-old daughter (Camilla Belle) from the influence of the outside world by living on the site of his abandoned island commune. But due to his fatal illness and his daughter’s emerging womanhood, things are about to change.
• “Dave Chappelle: For What It’s Worth” (Comedy): A standup performance taped at the famed Fillmore in San Francisco. Now that he’s pulled out of his TV show, this may be all the Chappelle his fans get to see for awhile.

WHAT BUGS YOU ABOUT SUMMER DRIVING:
When you drive at less than 37 mph, most bugs bounce harmlessly off your vehicle’s hood and windshield. But at higher speeds, they start to splatter and leave streaks. If your car gets hit, there are several environmentally-friendly ways to clean up the little buggers – seltzer will help dissolve the goo and bacon grease will help to wipe it away.
– “Discover” magazine.

BS TRUE CRIME:
• A gang of 67 inmates who painstakingly planned a prison break, tunneled out of Brazil’s Timoteo Prison only to emerge in the prison yard just 30 cm (1 ft) short of the main perimeter wall. There they found laughing guards waiting to take them back to their cells.
• A lazy Italian mailman is facing up to 10 years in jail after he filled his home with thousands of letters he couldn’t be bothered to deliver. Police found sacks of mail jammed in every room of Antonio Piras’ home on Sardinia, with more stuffed in his garden shed and his car. Locals had complained that no one had received a single letter or package since MARCH.
• A Des Moines IA man who stopped another driver to warn him about careless driving has been arrested for impersonating a police officer. 32-year-old Jessie Joe Hill had turned on a flashing yellow light on the dashboard and pulled the driver over after he ran a stop sign. When a real cop arrived on the scene, he also found that Hill was driving a stolen vehicle.

WORST TYPES OF CO-WORKERS:
• The Shirker – Always disappears when there’s work to do.
• The Buck-Passer – Unloads work onto everyone else.
• The Procrastinator – Delays things until the last possible minute.
• The Competitor – An overachiever who turns everything into a contest.
• The Critic – Not only voices disapproval with your work, but your personal life as well.
• The Interrupter – Constantly stops by to chat, causing you to lose your train of thought.
– CareerBuilder.com

IS THAT A PICASSO … OR A FLIPPER?
Staff at the Sea Museum Dolphinarium in Lithuania have discovered that dolphins can paint. The artists – mother & daughter bottle-nosed dolphins called Gabi & Premija – hold paint brushes in their teeth as a trainer stands in the shallows with a palette and canvas. The dolphins choose the colors and apparently stop painting when they are satisfied with the outcome. According to handlers, they particularly like to paint in the colors of the Lithuanian flag – yellow, red & green – and critics have compared their work with modern artist Howard Hodgkin of the UK.
– “The Telegraph”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 75% of women have tried marriage by the age of 30.
• 70% of us believe in love at first sight.
• 61% of women would rather have ‘great hair’ than ‘better breasts’.
• 28% of women will eat dessert when alone, but only 11% will indulge when with a friend.
• 26% of men have skinny-dipped in mixed company, but only 12% of women. Guess that means some women are double-dipping.
• Less than 1% of women have husbands that are shorter than they are.

ALL-TIME BEST BUTT SCENES IN MOVIES:
According to a new poll of 1,000 film-goers by Odeon cinemas …
1. Jude Law (“The Talented Mr Ripley”)
2. Brad Pitt (“Troy”)
3. Scarlett Johansson (“Lost In Translation”)

P—ED OFF:
The mayor of an Austrian town called ‘F–king’ is begging tourists to stop stealing the town’s road signs. Locals are fed up with having to replace the signs each year after visitors steal them as souvenirs. Residents of 2 other Austrian communities, ‘Windpassing’ and ‘Wank on the Lake’ have experienced similar problems.
– Ananova

BS AMAZING FACT:
There are over 1,400 species of insects that are regarded as edible. It all really depends on how hungry you are.

AND WE QUOTE:
 “I haven’t read a book in my life. I haven’t got enough time. I prefer to listen to music, although I do love fashion magazines.”  – Former Spice Girl-turned-soccer wife Victoria Beckham explaining to “Chic” magazine how literate she is.

THE BULL SHEET 08.16.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [51] James Cameron, Kapuskasing ON, movie director/producer/writer (Oscar-“Titanic”, “Terminator”)/1st director to film both a $100-million movie (“True Lies” 1994) and a $200-million movie (“Titanic” 1997)

1957 [48] Tim Farriss, Perth, Australia, rock guitarist (INXS-“New Sensation”)/reality TV show judge (“Rock Star: INXS”)

1958 [47] Madonna (Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone), Bay City MI, pop singer (“Ray Of Light”, “Take a Bow”)/bad film actress (“Swept Away”, “Die Another Day”)/Mrs Guy Ritchie since 2000/mom to Rocco & Lourdes

1958 [47] Angela Bassett, NYC, movie actress (“What’s Love Got to Do With It”, “Waiting To Exhale”)

1959 [46] Laura Innes, Pontiac MI, TV actress (‘Dr Kerry Weaver’ on “ER” since 1995)

1972 [33] Emily Robison (Erwin), Pittsfield MA, country singer (Dixie Chicks-“Long Time Gone”, “Wide Open Spaces”)

1980 [25] Vanessa Carlton, Milford PA, pop singer (“A Thousand Miles”, “Ordinary Day”)

1986 [19] Shawn Pyfrom, Tampa FL, TV actor (‘Andrew Van De Kamp’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is the 28h anniversary of Elvis Presley being found dead in the john at Graceland from a drug overdose. He died in Memphis TN August 16, 1977 at age 42.

TODAY is “National Tell-A-Joke Day”, a good day to have people call in with really rotten jokes, then tutor them on how to make them funnier.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [06] “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?” debuts on ABC-TV as a summer fill-in special hosted by Regis Philbin and quickly becomes TV’s #1 show

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1930 [75] 1st “British Empire Games” (now “Commonwealth Games”), open in Hamilton ON

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1960 [45] Joseph Kittinger sets world record for ‘Successful Free Fall’, dropping 84,700 ft – more than 16 miles before opening parachute over New Mexico

1974 [31] Cindy Nicholas swims across Lake Ontario in record 15 hours, 18 minutes

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Thriftshop Day
[Thurs] Bad Poetry Day
[Thurs-Aug 28] Central Canada Exhibition [Ottawa]
[Fri-Sept 5] Canadian National Exhibition [Toronto]
[Fri] “Red Eye”, “The 40 Year-Old Virgin” & “Valiant” open in movie theaters / National Aviation Day
[Fri-Aug 24] 2005 National Scrabble Championship [Reno NV]
[Sat] Potato Day
[Sat] National Radio Day
[Sat-Sept 5] Pacific National Exhibition [Vancouver]
[Sun] Rolling Stones kick off world tour [Boston]
[Sun] 9th Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run [Vancouver]
[Sun] Spumoni Day
[Sun] Homeless Animals Day
This Week Is . . . Reduce the Clutter Week
This Month Is . . . Children’s Vision & Learning Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS ‘IT PAYS TO BE IGERNANT’:
Nobody likes a smart-ass, so the object of this game is for your contestant to strive to be dead wrong. If they get all the answers incorrect, they win! The correct answers which they can NOT give are in parenthesis …
• What do you call it when you sink your golf ball in a single shot? (Hole-in-One/Ace/Albatross)
• This is what you rub on your body to prevent getting a sunburn. (Sunscreen.)
• What’s the sexy, 2-piece swimsuit some women wear at the beach? (Bikini.)
• When a baseball is hit out of the park and the player rounds all the bases, it’s known as a … (Home Run/Homer)
• This is what a tennis serve that falls outside the lines is called. (Fault.)
• This is the favorite condiment that’s put on hot dogs. (Ketchup/Relish/Mustard/Onions/Mayo etc.)
• When you eat a meal outdoors, it’s called … (Picnic/Al Fresco.)
• This is the 3-word sale most stores promote at this time of year, even though every kid hates to hear about it. (Back-to-School.)
• The person who watches for swimmers in trouble in a pool is the … (Lifeguard.)
• This is one of our country’s prime destinations for vacationers in the summer. (You decide.)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• With what product did the term ‘brand name’ originate?
a. Whisky [CORRECT. Producers branded their names on the barrels they shipped out.]
b. Beef
c. Bran

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• If you had to eliminate a single type of animal forever, which would you choose?
• In what unusual way have you lost or destroyed your cellphone?
• What’s the most revolting thing you have ever eaten?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Only 1 in 5 pet owners has ever done THIS for their pet.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Brushed its teeth. (Iams Co)
 
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
All generalizations are false … including this one.