Wednesday, May 19, 2004        Edition: #2792
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT on “American Idol”, 1st-season 4th-place finisher Tamyra Gray performs 2 songs from her upcoming album “The Dreamer” (the 1st US release on “Idol” creator Simon Fuller’s 19 Recordings label is out next TUESDAY) . . . Remember Tatu – the supposedly lesbian Russian pop duo? – well, member Julia Volkova is now expecting her first child with what turns out to be a long-time boyfriend . . . Actors Pierce Brosnan, Liam Neeson and Johnny Depp are among celebs who’ve donated a pair of undies to be auctioned off for the Helen House charity (for women who want to know – Johnny’s are black) . . . Mick Jagger’s 20-year-old model daughter Elizabeth has dumped her 28-year-old boyfriend, John Lennon’s son Sean – calling their time together just a ‘fun fling’ . . . Actress Natalie Portman & hunky Mexican actor Gael Garcia Bernal are also splitsville, SHE apparently peeved that HE opted to take his parents to the “Cannes Film Festival” THIS WEEK instead of her . . . On the other hand, “Kill Bill” star Uma Thurman has reportedly accepted an engagement proposal from her hotelier boyfriend Andre Balazs . . . The official word from Warner Bros is the movie “Troy” cost $150 million to make, but insiders say it was more like $220 mil – almost impossible to recoup  . . . YESTERDAY California’s top porn movie-maker Vivid Entertainment Group resumed ‘production’, a month after shutting down because 5 ‘performers’ tested HIV positive . . . The reason Jimmy Fallon is leaving “Saturday Night Live” is familiar – to pursue a movie career . . . And “NY Post” says Colin Farrell has a unique way of relieving himself in public washrooms – first taking his pants all the way off, then hanging them over the side of the stall.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Celine Dion – She’s expected to resume performances in Las Vegas MAY 26th, after canceling 5 more shows due to ongoing pain from a sprained neck.
• Alanis Morisette – When a staffer at London’s Metropolitan Hotel investigated a lot of noise coming from the hotel gym, he found her & actor boyfriend Ryan Reynolds … er, exercising.
• Elton John – He lived up to his free-spending reputation during a weekend power-shopping spree at London’s Yves St Laurent boutique, quickly picking out crocodile boots, a jacket, 2 shirts and 20 pairs of sunglasses. Total tab – $20,700!
• Madonna – Estimates say her upcoming “re-Invention Tour” could earn her $100 million.
• Green Day – Their 1st studio album in 4 years, “American Idiot”, will be out SEPTEMBER 14th.
• Jennifer Lopez – The ring boyfriend Marc Anthony gave her is an 8-carat clear diamond, purposely larger than the trashy 6-carat pebble Ben Affleck gave her. But this one is NOT an engagement ring – she wears it on the middle finger of her left hand. Maybe so it will be visible when she ‘waves’ goodbye to him?
• Faith Hill – She’s making her movie debut in “The Stepford Wives”, starring Nicole Kidman and Matthew Broderick. It opens JUNE 11th.
• Nickelback – They’ll join forces with 3 Doors Down for a 23-city tour beginning in St Paul MN JUNE 29th.

OPENING IN THEATERS TODAY:
“Shrek 2″ (Family Adventure) – The computer-animated sequel to the 2001 blockbuster hit features happily married ogres ‘Shrek’ (Mike Myers) & ‘Fiona’ (Cameron Diaz) and sass-talkin’ pal ‘Donkey’ (Eddie Murphy) meeting Shrek’s displeased in-laws … who scheme to break up the couple with the help of Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) and Puss In Boots (Antonio Banderas). Julie Andrews and John Cleese make cameo appearances as ‘Fiona’s’ parents.

NEW ENGLISH 101:
Recently heard new jargon …
• ‘Right-shoring’ – A mix of ‘off-shoring ‘ and ‘on-shoring’, it’s restructuring a company’s workforce to find the optimum mix of jobs performed locally and jobs moved to foreign countries.
• ‘Wildcrafting’ – The harvesting of wild plants for use as food or in herbal medicines. (Formerly known as ‘homegrown’.)
• ‘Early Birding’ – A marketing strategy that creates enough buzz to convince consumers to pre-purchase a new product – not to get a discount – just to be among the first to own it.

SPAM LABEL:
Think this is gonna work? Starting TODAY, all e-mail spam that contains sexually oriented material must include the warning “SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT“ in the subject line or face fines for violations of US federal law under the ‘Can-Spam Act’, originally passed by US Congress in 2003. (What a great idea! And maybe they could have that guy in Nigeria label all his e-mails ‘SCAM’.)

POKE YOUR CHIPS:
The Baja Beach Club in Barcelona, Spain has turned TUESDAY nights into ‘Implant Night’ when patrons pay for drinks and admission using a tiny microchip that’s implanted under the skin. Clubbers can have the ‘VeriChip’ injected into any part of their body, as long as they’re able to flash it in front of a scanner. (Adding whole new meaning to ‘footing the bill’.)
– Ananova

HEAT MY HEART:
A new study at the University of Technology in Sydney, Australia has found that microwaving the heart could become an alternative treatment for heart rhythm disorders, a common cause of heart attack and stroke. The new device will selectively ‘cook’ areas of the human heart at 55 C (131 F) for a few seconds, thereby producing a lesion that blocks abnormal electrical signals.
A researcher says the process works in the same way a microwave oven heats meat, but the exposure area is much more controlled. (“Mmmmm, smells good. What’s for dinner, mom?”)
– “Chemistry & Industry” magazine.

TV SIN ROPAS:
Since 1999, Toronto-based Naked Broadcasting Network Inc has produced  its Internet and cable TV show “Naked News”, in which anchors deliver the day’s top stories – in the buff. THIS WEEK it begins 2 versions in Spanish for the US and Latin American markets. “Noticias al Desnudo” will be available in both a fully nude version and a tamer version with pubic areas pixilated out. Portuguese & French editions are also coming soon. (We want a naked cooking show!)
– Reuters

YOU GOTTA BREAK SOME EGGS TO MAKE A GRAND:
THIS MONTH Norma’s restaurant in NYC’s Le Parker Meridien hotel began serving what is likely the world’s most expensive omelette. ‘The Zillion Dollar Frittata’ is made with 6 eggs, a lobster and – 285 grams of sevruga caviar. It actually doesn’t cost a zillion – just $1,000 … plus tip. Beside the omelette’s menu entry is the message: ‘Norma dares you to expense this!’. So far, no one has. In fact, no one has even ordered it yet.
PHONER: 212-708-7460 (Steven Pipes, Norma’s General Manager)
– “Daily News”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Eastern North America is experiencing the appearance of cyclical cicadas, an event that only occurs every 17 years. And every 17 years THIS also happens – a Bloomington IN man has been admitted to a medical clinic suffering a severe allergic reaction after cooking and eating about 30 of the bugs. His recipe involves sautéing them in butter with crushed garlic and basil. He says they didn’t taste bad but his wife didn’t care for the aroma. (It’s also kind of annoying when they try to crawl back up your throat.)
• A boozed-up lap-dancer sparked a terrorism scare when she sneaked aboard an empty jet in Aberdeen, Scotland – wearing only a G-string. The 22-year-old woman had just broken up with her boyfriend when she scaled the airport fence and walked right past security guards to climb into the cockpit of a private jet. She says she was just trying to find a place to spend the night. (And doesn’t that make you feel safe and secure about air travel?)
• A 13-year-old girl got booted from her graduation ceremony at Holy Family Catholic School in Price Hill OH – for showing too much cleavage. Her furious mom says when you’re as big as her daughter, there’s gonna be cleavage. (Ahh! Maybe she was just sent home for being fat and ugly then.)
• Fierce competition in the fast-food industry has led some restaurant chains to take an unusual measure to cut their bottom line – rationing napkins. Pay attention and you’ll notice that paper napkins are now being hidden behind counters, wrapped individually with plastic silverware or stuffed in new dispensers that only allow customers to take one at a time. (Thereby saving a whopping .00045 cents!)

BS AMAZING FACT:
From the late 1950s to the early 1990s, the amount of sunshine actually reaching Earth’s surface declined 2-3% per decade due to air pollution. In some areas, the decline was even more severe – 37% in Hong Kong, for instance. Fortunately, things have been getting brighter over the last decade as air pollution is being reduced.
– “Globe & Mail”

THE BULL SHEET 05.19.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [70] Jim Lehrer, Wichita KS, PBS news anchor (“The News Hour with Jim Lehrer”)

1945 [59] Pete Townshend, Chiswick ENG, dinosaur rock guitarist/singer (The Who-“Who Are You” [“CSI”], “I Won’t Get Fooled Again” [“CSI: Miami”])/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1949 [55] Dusty Hill, Dallas TX, classic rock bassist/singer (ZZ Top-“Legs”, “Tush”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “May Ray Day”, an annual celebration of Spring sunshine and people named ‘Ray’. (OK, it’s lame, but hey – any excuse for a party!)

THIS MONTH is “Moving Month”. According to a survey by BoxBundles.com, the average family leaves behind 1,500 lbs of trash when they move – about 25% of the total household belongings. (So a quarter of what we live with is garbage?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [05] “Star Wars: Episode 1 – The Phantom Menace” opens in theaters and generates a record $28.5 million on opening day, $100 million in a record 5 days, and $200 million in a record 13 days

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1974 [30] 1st ‘expansion team’ to win NHL’s Stanley Cup (Philadelphia Flyers)

1994 [10] 1st ‘genetically-engineered’ tomato approved for marketing (Frankenfood!)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [09] Balamurali Ambati graduates from NYC’s Mount Sinai Medical School to become world’s youngest doctor – at age 17!

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Senior Citizens Day
[Fri] Wait Staff Day
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Sat] Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day
[Mon] Victoria Day
[Mon] Morning Radio Wise Guy Day
This Week Is . . . Dog Bite Prevention Week / Running & Fitness Week
This Month Is . . . Haitian Heritage Month / Healthy Vision Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
GAS-SAVING TIPS:
Now that it’s almost cheaper to have your car towed to work, here are a few money-saving suggestions …
• Accelerating quickly is one of the worst things you can do to reduce gas mileage.
• Running the AC reduces fuel efficiency by 3 to 4 mpg.
• Never race to a stoplight and then brake hard. It’s hard on gas mileage and the vehicle.
• Always put your vehicle in overdrive or in the top manual gear when cruising on the highway.
• Buying a new or used vehicle? The smaller engine that comes with the base model is almost always powerful enough and uses less fuel.
– “Indianapolis Star”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Do we need a national airline? Is Air Canada worth saving or should we just allow the free market economy to decide its fate?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• During the 1930s and ‘40s posters showing which movie star’s legs were banned from the Paris Metro because they were considered too distracting to riders?
a. Betty Grable
b. Marlene Dietrich [CORRECT]
c. Lassie

• Which of the following is NOT a drum?
a. Conga
b. Tom-tom
c. Marimba [CORRECT, it’s the Latin version of the xylophone.]

• A recent study reveals that people who do THIS for a living live 9.2 years longer than the average person.
a. Raise earthworms. [CORRECT]
b. Grow tofu.
c. Work in radio.

BS BLATANT JOKE:
You know, I’ve always said that sex is nobody’s business except the 3 people involved.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS household noise can be almost as loud as a pneumatic drill.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A snore.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The meek shall inherit the Earth … if that’s okay with everyone.