Tuesday, July 6, 2004 Edition: #2816
Ah, Some BS You Actually Look Forward to in the Morning!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
South African lawyers have launched a copyright suit against Disney for using the song “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” in the “Lion King” movies and failing to pay royalties to the Zulu migrant worker family that wrote it (what, they just noticed?) . . . 84-year-old Vancouver-born actor James Doohan (Star Trek’s ‘Lt Cmdr Montgomery Scott’ as in “Beam me up, Scotty!”) is in rough shape – his family confirming he’s suffering from Parkinson’s, diabetes and now Alzheimer’s . . . Marketing experts say surprise Wimbledon women’s champ, 17-year-old Russian Maria Sharapova, could become the highest-earning female sports star of all-time if her career continues to soar (she’s like Anna Kournakova – only she actually plays tennis) . . . Mexican movie hunk Gael Garcia Bernal apparently can’t be bought – he’s turned down a lucrative offer to be the face of designer house Prada – because he ‘hates fashion’ . . . Actor Johnny Depp can now be private in the Caribbean after buying his very own island that features 6 beaches and 2 cottages, and is only accessible by seaplane . . . Mr Jessica Sampson, Nick Lachey, has been signed to play Alyssa Milano’s love interest in 6 episodes of the WB series “Charmed” . . . Former “Friend” David Schwimmer is reportedly having a new friend, former S Club singer Tina Barrett, come to LA for the summer to spend ‘quality time’ . . . This might make rehabbing twin Mary-Kate Olsen gag – her ex-boyfriend Matt Kaplan is reportedly actress Lindsay Lohan’s new boytoy . . . And because you really need to know – Britney Spears has rejected a traditional white wedding gown for her upcoming ceremony in favor of – bright red!
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Clay Aiken – TONIGHT he’s launching his first solo tour in Bismark, North Dakota.
• 311 – TONIGHT the “Love Song” singers are on ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
• Gloria Estefan – She says she’ll continue writing and recording, but her next tour (beginning JULY 30th in McAllen, Texas) will be her last.
• Paul McCartney – Word is he may move to Hollywood to help wife Heather land a job with CNN as a talk show host after she had a successful spell as Larry King’s stand-in.
• Usher – His album “Confessions” has sold close to 5 million copies in just 13 weeks.
• Michelle Branch – THIS FALL Flirt Cosmetics will begin marketing a line of nail polish and matching lipsticks she’s designed and named after tunes from her hit album “Hotel Paper”.
• Hilary Duff – While filming the movie “The Perfect Man” in Toronto, she’s been spotted out and about with Good Charlotte singer Joel Madden. Apparently the ‘perfect man’ is 9 years older.
• Rod Stewart – The gardener at his Palm Beach FL mansion was apparently so upset about being fired for laziness he stole Stewart’s $75,000 Dodge Viper and crashed it a few miles away.
• Blink 182 – Word is Travis Barker has condoms custom-made, with his face printed on them.
• Sarah Harmer – TODAY she’s on TV’s syndicated “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Butterfly Effect” (Sci-Fi Thriller – DVD): Ashton Kutcher stars as a college student who finds himself thrust inexplicably back in time when he reads his boyhood journals. He then attempts to re-write history in order to spare his friends and loved ones from traumatic experiences. Amy Smart, Elden Henson and William Lee Scott co-star.
• Collectors may be interested in “The Film Noir Collection” that includes “Murder, My Sweet”, “Gun Crazy”, and “The Asphalt Jungle”; or the 10-part Time-Life series “The History of Rock ‘n Roll”.
BEWARE THE HACK JOB”
In an effort to stop a decade-long increase in surgical mishaps, new procedures have been developed for surgical teams to make sure the right patient is being operated on and the right part of that patient is sliced into. At least 275 known ‘wrong-site’, ‘wrong-procedure’ or ‘wrong patient’ cases have occurred in the US since 1999, a number experts say is probably vastly under-reported. Surgeons have removed wrong organs, amputated wrong limbs, drilled into the wrong side of a patient’s head, even given the wrong patient heart surgery. The new checklist of procedures includes …
• Making sure the right patient is on the operating table.
• Having all medical staff agree on which body part to work on.
• Making sure X-rays are not reversed, causing the wrong side of the body to be operated on.
• Having the surgeon sign off on the incision site, preferably while the patient is still conscious.
– AP
READ TO YOUR BABY TO BOOST HIS LANGUAGE SKILLS:
The 21st century kid might have access to many technological innovations but doctors at UT Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas believe that reading to your baby is the only tried-and-true method to help them speak and understand language. According to Dr Paul Bauer, “When parents come to me with a child who has delayed language skills, the first thing I do is ask them how much they read to the child. Many times helping a child understand language and helping them develop speech is a matter of taking time to read to them.” (Apparently [sports guy] never had bedtime stories.)
– ANI
DAILY DOSE OF BS IN ADS:
“Popular Science” magazine sponsored a study to note and debunk every single scientific claim the average person hears in a typical day. Not surprisingly, the majority of the 106 so-called ‘scientific’ claims came from advertisers. Among them …
• A breakfast cereal claiming it can ‘reduce your cholesterol’.
• A dairy product that claims its cows ‘graze freely on lush natural pastures’.
• E-mail spam that claims you can develop ‘huge breasts overnight’.
• Diet supplements that claim they make you feel ‘20 years younger’.
The bottom line – few of the scientific facts we hear each day are completely true, and many are outright lies!
NET: http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/article/0,12543,633225,00.html
IT WAS A [NOT SO] DARK & STORMY NIGHT:
The new book “Acquainted With the Night” by Christopher Dewdney says that ‘light pollution’, the brightening of the night sky in urban areas, has increased by about 10% per year for the past 30 years. The author suggests that nighttime in populated areas is now just a dilution of daylight. Not only has that made stars invisible and wreaked havoc with night creatures, it also seems to have affected human health. (Especially for Dracula.)
– “Canadian Geographic”
GARDENING WITHOUT WARMING UP IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH:
Gardeners are now being advised to perform warm-up exercises like athletes before immersing themselves in their hobby. A survey by the Mobilis Healthcare Group reveals that hospital emergency rooms deal with over 300,000 gardening injuries every year. Most involve pulled muscles and ligaments and back-related problems that could have been prevented by a gentle warm-up session. Gardeners are also at risk from ‘tennis elbow’ and ‘housemaid’s knee’ from too much pruning and kneeling. (I’m a lazy gardener, I’ve got ‘Dead Daisy Butt’.)
– “Sun”
IT’S A WACK WORLD:
• To please the ‘rain god’ during a dry spell in southwestern Nepal, female rice farmers are plowing their fields at night … in the nude.
• A confused convict in a Portuguese prison could have used a map when he decided to tunnel his way to freedom. After digging in the wrong direction, he ended up 21 meters short of the prison wall and popped his head out … in the middle of the prison courtyard. He was escorted back to his cell.
• Macquarie Park Cemetery in Sydney, Australia cemetery wants to build – a children’s playground. The idea is to allow kids to fun while their families mourn. Some local folks are gravely concerned by the idea and want it buried.
• Ron England of Los Angeles is trying to get rid of his pennies – all $10,000-worth! It seems 30 years ago he bet his brother he could save a million pennies in exchange for a dinner in Paris. He did, eventually stacking up 20,000 rolls that fill 13 boxes in his garage, but now he’s retiring to Oregon and can’t find anybody who’ll take them – without charging a big fee.
• The owners of a London eatery are offering free meals to anybody who’s descended from notorious Mongol leader Genghis Khan – and it’s even giving free DNA tests to help them prove it. The Shish restaurant’s wacky promotion is in honor of the Mongolian government’s decision to let citizens use the name Genghis Khan for the first time since it was banned by the communists in the 1920s. Some 50,000 Mongolians now proudly claim direct descent from Genghis Khan, and bear his name. (This is good news for my wife, Attila the Hun.)
BS AMAZING HEALTH FACTS:
• 40 people are injured in Britain annually … by cheese.
– “Report on Home & Leisure Accidents”
• Clinical depression is now the biggest international health threat after heart disease.
– World Health Organization
AND WE QUOTE:
“I could turn on just about any television channel in Europe and see full nudity. And their crime rate is a lot lower than ours. So go figure.”
– Rapper Nelly commenting on the FCC’s prudish policies.
THE BULL SHEET 07.06.2K4
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1921 [83] Nancy Reagan (Anne Frances Robbins Davis Reagan), NYC, former US First Lady/Mrs Ronald Reagan (1952-2004)
1946 [58] George Walker Bush (aka ‘Dubya’, ‘George II’), New Haven CT, 43rd US President FACTOID: He’s the only US President to father twins.
1946 [58] Sylvester Stallone, NYC, movie actor (“Rambo I-III”, “Rocky I-V”) FACTOID: He’s the all time “Razzie Award” champion (for bad acting), with a record 30 nominations and 10 ‘wins’.
1948 [56] Peter Mansbridge, London UK, TV journalist/anchor (CBC’s “The National” since 1988) who began working at the CBC in 1969/Mr Cynthia Dale/ex-Mr Wendy Mesley
1951 [53] Geoffrey Rush, Toowoomba AUS, movie actor (‘Barbossa’ in ”Pirates of the Caribbean”, Academy Award-“Shine”)
1976 [28] 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson), Queens NY, rapper (“In Da Club”, “PIMP”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Fried Chicken Day”. Don’t know who started it; don’t know why. But then … who cares? Nummers!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1994 [10] “Forrest Gump”, starring Tom Hanks, opens in movie theaters (goes on to earn $678 million in box office worldwide)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1984 [20] Michael Jackson and his brothers begin their 5-month “Victory Tour” in Kansas City MO (the 55 concerts gross a then-record $75 million)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1933 [71] In 1st MLB “All-Star Game”, American League wins 4-2 as Babe Ruth connects for 1st “All-Star” home run (Comiskey Park, Chicago IL)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1928 [76] ‘World’s Largest Recorded Hailstone’, measuring 1.5 lbs and 17″ in diameter, falls in Potter NE
COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together Day
[Thurs] Video Games Day
[Fri] Intern Appreciation Day
[Fri-July 18] Calgary Stampede
[Sat] Don’t Step on a Bee Day
[Sun] UN World Population Day
This Week Is . . . Character Counts Week / Nude Recreation Week
This Month Is . . . Baked Bean Month / Hot Dog Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BEST ROCK ALBUMS OF PAST 10 YEARS:
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers – “Californication” (1999)
2. Oasis – “What’s the Story Morning Glory” (1995)
3. Eminem – “The Marshall Mathers LP” (2000)
4. U2 – “All That You Can’t Leave Behind” (2000)
5. [TIE] Coldplay – “A Rush of Blood to the Head” (2002)/Radiohead – “OK Computer” (1997)
– New “FHM” magazine poll.
BS TRIVIA:
Q: Here’s a tough one – which tree’s name contains all 5 vowels?
A: Sequoia.
BS WEB GOODIE:
With a little practice on ‘Ben’s Tom Hanks Soundboard’ you can fake a complete conversation with actor Tom Hanks. Easy-to-click buttons are divided into ‘Greetings’, ‘Replies’, ‘Jokes’, ‘Exclamations’, etc.
NET: http://www.2flashgames.com/f/f-587.htm
BS BLATANT JOKES:
• So long as there’s a jingle in your head, TV is not free.
• You know what’s good on chocolate? Chocolate.
• Ever notice if you’re rich, it’s ‘eccentric’; but when you’re poor, it’s just ‘weird’?
• A grownup is someone who suffers from responsibility.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS is the most common non-contagious disease in the world.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Tooth decay.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
