Wednesday, July 17, 2019 Edition: #6495

Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Austin Butler has been cast as Elvis Presley in Baz Luhrmann’s still-untitled project about the superstar singer. Butler made his Broadway debut in 2019 opposite Denzel Washington in “The Iceman Cometh,” for which he received rave reviews. He will next be seen opposite Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt in Quentin Tarantino’s “Once Upon a Time in… Hollywood.” He is also in Jim Jarmusch’s “The Dead Don’t Die” alongside Bill Murray.  The Elvis movie is said to explore the life and music of Elvis through his complicated relationship with his manager Col. Tom Parker, who will be played by Tom Hanks. It is set to shoot in Australia early next year.
-TheWrap
★ Adam Sandler continues to honor his “Grown Ups” co-star Cameron Boyce. He first paid tribute to the late Disney Channel star with an emotional post on social media, and then posted a fundraiser to “Thirst Project”, a charity close to Boyce’s heart, on his Facebook page. Nearly $15,000 has been raised from more than 350 people for the charity, largely due to Sandler’s Facebook fundraiser. Thirst Project brings wells that provide clean drinking water to villages throughout Africa.
-PageSix
★ Lindsay Lohan may have ended her reality show, but she has quickly secured a new TV gig…it’s just on another continent. Lohan will serve on the judges’ panel on the Australian edition of “The Masked Singer.” She will serve alongside Australian radio personality Jackie O, singer Dannii Minogue, and comedian Dave Hughes. The show was a huge hit this year in the United States, with Robin Thicke, Jenny McCarthy, Ken Jeong, and Nicole Scherzinger serving as judges.
-TheBlast
★ One of the highlights for “Avengers” fans at this year’s San Diego Comic-Con will definitely be this: Lego is unveiling a life-size Iron Man wearing a modified Infinity Gauntlet. The six-and-a-half foot statue, which weighs 188 pounds, consists of 35,119 bricks and took Lego Master Builders 225 hours to design and build. San Diego Comic-Con runs tomorrow through Sunday.
(As if EVERYONE at Comic-Con isn’t an Avengers Fan!)
-HollywoodReporter

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sen. Kamala Harris, Lenny Clarke, Offset featuring Cardi B
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Joel McHale, Marc Maron, Dusty Slay
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sofía Vergara, David Cross, Tove Lo
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Eisenberg, Emily Deschanel, Kate Tempest, Raghav Mehrotra
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Anne Hathaway, Rebel Wilson, Andy Sandford (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, Isaiah Mustafa, Jay Ryan, James Ransone, Andy Bean
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Craig Conover, Austen Kroll
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kristin Chenoweth (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Awkwafina, Joe Manganiello
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, Kaley Cuoco, Simon Helberg, Kunal Nayyar, Melissa Rauch, Mayim Bialik (R)
• “8 Days: To the Moon and Back” (PBS): Remembering the historic Apollo 11 mission. Included: in-flight conversations between Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins; archival footage; and CGI recreations of the journey.
• “Suits” (PBS): Season 9 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé — is the executive producer of “The Lion King: The Gift” album, a musical ode to the classic story of Disney’s “The Lion King” feature film.  The film includes the new original song, ‘Spirit’, performed by Beyoncé.  The Lion King: The Gift album is set for release on Friday.
• Lady Gaga – Her beauty line, “Haus Laboratories” was apparently killing it in the opening hours of Amazon Prime Day. Pre-orders launched Monday morning with six different collections available exclusively on Amazon.
• Sean “Diddy” Combs – made the announcement on Monday that “Making the Band” is returning to MTV. After several lengthy teases on social media, he said that a revival of his music competition show has been greenlit for 2020. “Making the Band,” which first debuted in 2002, sees Combs as host, judge and mentor. The show has spawned acts including O-Town, Danity Kane and Day26.
• George Michael – His former lover Fadi Fawaz has apparently smashed windows at the late star’s old home in a fit of rage. Fadi has been living at the property in London since Michael’s death there on Christmas Day 2016, ignoring legal letters from Michael’s family to vacate the premises.
• Slash — is releasing the live video “Living the Dream”, a look at his current tour with Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators. Captured during a string of sold-out dates at London’s Hammersmith Apollo, the DVD and Blu-rays will also include a documentary. It comes out Sept. 20.
• Jack White – is a big fan of Lil Nas X’s hit song, ‘Old Town Road’, which is now the longest-running Number One hip-hop song in the US of all-time. White told an interviewer: “It’s beautiful. The song is only a minute and 47 seconds long or something — that’s how long ‘Fell in Love With a Girl’ was. People said, ‘They’re not going to play that on radio.’ But it worked, and it’s great that it’s happening again.”
• James Barker Band – and Brett Kissel are leading the pack of nominees for the 2019 Canadian Country Music Awards, with five each. The 2019 CCMA Awards will be broadcast live from Calgary, AB on Sept. 8th.
• Blake Shelton – said “yes” to recording ‘Dive Bar’, his new duet with Garth Brooks, before he even heard the song. Shelton says that Brooks called and said: “I’ve got this song I wrote. I wanted to see if I could send it over to you and you tell me what you think about it.” Shelton’s response? “I’m going to tell you right now, even without hearing the song; I’m apt to say, ‘Hell yes, I’ll do it.”

THE TRUTH IS IN THERE:
An author and expert on Area 51 says that the US military will never let civilians anywhere near the top-secret site, despite the “Storm Area 51” movement that has gone viral. Over one million Facebook users have indicated that they will go to an event scheduled for Sept. 20 at 3a.m., where the plan seems to be to storm the Nevada facility, which has been linked to alien conspiracy theories for decades. The creator of the event wrote, “they can’t stop all of us…“Let’s see them aliens.” After the Air force responded by saying they “discourage” people from trying to enter an area where American armed forces are trained,  Annie Jacobsen, the author of “Area 51: An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base” said that the facility is “jealously guarded” and that the Air Force and US Intelligence “aren’t going to let anybody anywhere near the entrance to Area 51.”
(They shouldn’t worry. If it’s anything like my Facebook birthday event, only about one percent who say they are going…actually show up!)
(If these ‘keyboard warriors’ are anything like my son and his friends, they couldn’t run from the Area 51 gate to the building!)
-NYPost

THE ‘TOO-WELL DONE’ DIET:
Yes, we would all like to eat a healthy diet. But what happens when the quest for proper nutrition turns into an obsession?  Mental health experts call it “orthorexia nervosa” which literally means “proper appetite…carried to the extreme.” For those with orthorexia, eating becomes a ritual, and any food believed to be unhealthy or impure is rigidly avoided. The problem is that in this desire to achieve a perfect diet, many end up with nutritional deficiencies, medical complications and not much fun in their lives. Here are some questions to see if you have a tendency toward this condition:
• Do you care more about the virtue of what you eat than the pleasure you receive from eating it?
• Do you spend more than three hours a day thinking about healthy foods?
• Do you look down on other people who do not eat like you?
• Has the quality of your life decreased as the quality of your diet increased?
• Do you feel intensely guilty if you stray from your diet?
(If you answered ‘yes’ to 2 or more of these questions, get help…and Oreos!)
(What if I spend more than three hours a day thinking about UNhealthy foods?)
(Don’t worry…if I eat something unhealthy, my wife will make sure I feel guilty!)
-MontereyCountyHerald

THE DUMBEST THINGS BABY BOOMERS DO ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
(According to millennials…)
➢ Responding with irrelevant comments:  Example: You post something about going to a concert, and your grandma comments, ‘Hi sweetie, how is everybody? Are you coming to the BBQ?’
➢ Wonky capitalization:  Many “boomers” post in all-caps, which is considered yelling or screaming, even when what they’re writing isn’t urgent at all. (WE HAVE TO, DEARIE, THOSE SMALL LETTERS ARE GETTING PRETTY HARD TO SEE!)
➢ Messing up an ellipsis:  It used to be that people wrote “dot dot dot” (three periods in a row), but then someone introduced the three commas instead and apparently that’s become a thing now. (But,,,what does it,,,mean?)
(All this, and they haven’t even mentioned trying to Google something in the Facebook “status update” bar!!)
-NewYorkPost

DID YOU KNOW?
Your dog can smell what time of day it is. To his keen nose, morning has a different scent from afternoon, which smells different from night-time. The canine nose is so sensitive that dogs can even determine the difference between 5pm and 6pm, which might be how he knows exactly what time your partner’s car will roll into the driveway every weekday (and why he gives you the stinkeye when dinner is late!)
-Rover

BS CHRONOMETER 07.17.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [84] Donald Sutherland, Saint John NB, movie actor (“Hunger Games” movies)/TV actor (“Crossing Lines” since 2013)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2011) COMING UP…“Ad Astra” 2019

1947 [72] Duchess of Cornwall (Camilla Parker Bowles Windsor), Plumpton UK, Prince Charles’ longtime mistress whom he finally wed in 2005

1952 [67] David Hasselhoff, Baltimore, MD, TV actor (“Knight Rider”, “Baywatch”, judge on “America’s Got Talent” from 2006-2009 and [ha!] recording artist)

1960 [59] Mark Burnett, London UK, really rich TV producer (“Survivor”, “The Voice”)

1975 [44] Carey Hart, Seal Beach CA, former motorcycle racer and freestyle motocross racer who now competes in off-road truck races/owner of Hart & Huntington Tattoo & Clothing Company/married to Pink since 2006

1976 [43] Luke Bryan, Leesburg GA, country singer (‘Kick the Dust Up’, ‘I See You’)

1979 [40] Mike Vogel, Abington PA, movie actor (“The Help, “Cloverfield”)/TV actor, (“Under the Dome” 2013-15)

1985 [34] Tom Cullen, Aberystwyth, Wales, TV actor (‘Lord Gillingham’ on “Downton Abbey” 2013-2014)

1992 [27] Billie Lourd, Los Angeles CA, TV actress (“Scream Queens” 2015-16, “American Horror Story” 2017-18) Daughter of late actress Carrie Fisher. COMING UP…”Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”, 2019

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “World Emoji Day”, celebrating the little pictograms that have become a modern form of punctuation. Why July 17th? That’s the date famously displayed on the iOS Calendar Emoji.

• “Peach Ice Cream Day” (aka ‘Fuzz Ripple’). Who cares why? Gimme some! Most ice cream makers only make the stuff during summer.

• “Yellow Pig Day”, a mathematician’s holiday celebrating yellow pigs (is there such a thing!?!), and the number 17. It’s been celebrated annually since the early 1960’s, primarily on college campuses, and primarily by mathematicians.

• “National Tattoo Day”, a celebration of body art; everything from the artwork decorating the proud owners of tattoos to the thousands of studios that continue to crop up around the country. (These days, are you a rebel if you DON’T have a tattoo?) (***See ‘BS Phone Starter, below***)

• “World Day for International Justice”, celebrated as part of an effort to recognize the emerging system of international criminal justice. July 17 was chosen because it is the anniversary of the adoption of the Rome Statute, the treaty that created the International Criminal Court.

• “Hot Dog Day”, informal events are celebrated in communities throughout the hotdog-eating world, including the United States, Canada, Great Britain and Australia. The festivals revolve around eating hot dogs, but usually there are other activities such as wiener dog races, root beer chugging contests, and face painting. (I have a feeling that this is a day that Joey Chestnut doesn’t celebrate!)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Get to Know Your Customers Day
[Thurs] Perfect Family Day
[Fri] National Daiquiri Day
[Fri] Stick Out Your Tongue Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2017 [02] The Muppets Studio, in firing the voice of ‘Kermit the Frog’, Steve Whitmire, blame his “unacceptable business conduct”.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1991 [28] Fourteen years after the deadly crash of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Baton Rouge-bound aircraft, the surviving members of the band, reunited under the name “Lynyrd Skynyrd 1991,” return to the Louisiana city to kick off a new tour. (The band is currently on their “Last of the Street Survivors Farewell Tour”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1955 [64] ‘Disneyland’ officially opens in Anaheim CA, less than a year after construction began (now hosts over 18 million visitors a year, who spend close to $3 billion)

2013 [06] In an effort to curb obesity rates, United Arab Emirates offers citizens 1 gram of gold for every kilogram of weight they lose

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1982 [37] 52-year-old Don Bennett of Seattle becomes the first ‘One-Legged Mountain Climber’ to hop to the top of Washington’s 14,408-ft Mount Rainier

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Most ears of corn have an even number of rows, usually 16.
✓ White chocolate isn’t actually chocolate. Despite its name, it doesn’t contain any real chocolate components.
✓ Some foods such as ranch dressing and coffee creamer can contain titanium dioxide, which can also be found in paint, plastic, and sunscreen.
✓ Fruit snacks such as gummi candies are coated in the same type of wax that cars are.
✓ Crackers will give you cavities faster than candy.
✓ In the 1800s, ketchup was believed to have medicinal qualities that could cure, among other ailments, diarrhea.
-Insider

BS ‘MARRIED WITH KIDS’ PROBLEMS:
• Lego-related foot injuries
• There’s no money tree in the backyard.
• Wife smells like SpaghettiOs
• Half the time, your Hubby counts as a kid too.
• Your daily agenda is regularly derailed by two and a half hour argument about putting on shoes.
• You run out of groceries later on grocery day.
• “Laundry” isn’t on the schedule, because it’s a constant thing.
• Your single friends with no kids telling you how you should be raising your kids.
• It’s illegal to sell them.
• You’re married with kids.
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS SHOWER THOUGHTS:
• Two babies born at the exact same time on different sides of the world would have different birthdays.
• Did you ever wonder why pictures are square or rectangular, but camera lenses are round?
• 100 years ago, everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Now, everyone owns a car and only the rich have horses.
• Taking a nap to get rid of a headache is the biological equivalent of “turn it off and then on again.”
• I wonder if I’ve ever drank milk from the same cow twice.
• There is no cool way to chase a ping-pong ball.
• Do twins ever realize that one of them was unplanned?
• How would a mermaid give birth?
• If you try to rob a bank, you won’t have any trouble with rent payments for the next 10 years, whether you are successful or not.
• If you punch yourself and it hurts, are you strong or are you weak?
• Since your own voice sounds so much better to you than it actually sounds, imagine what Morgan Freeman hears when he speaks!
-Cheezburger, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the best or worst tattoo that you have ever seen? (Spelling counts!)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid, because nobody would ever be able to find it.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  50% of people don’t wash THIS at home. What is it?
Answer:  Their produce

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.