Monday, September 23, 2019        Edition: #6536

Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kevin Hart can’t believe he’s alive following the horrific car crash he was involved in on Sept. 1st. Reportedly, Hart has now seen photographs of the wreckage, and he’s “grateful” and “shocked” that he made it out. Of course, that’s not to say that Hart made it out unscathed. He required surgery for three spinal fractures and was hospitalized for 10 days before being transferred to an inpatient facility for grueling physical therapy. He is now back home, and a physical therapist is coming to his house.
-TMZ
★ The legal battle between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard just went to a whole new level. The legal teams for both stars faced off in a Virginia courtroom last week, but it was what happened between the attorneys before the hearing that is now causing a huge issue. Depp’s team claim they were shown several highly sensitive photographs, one in which Johnny Depp appears to be smoking drugs from a glass pipe, and several other photos showing alleged illegal drugs and paraphernalia located inside Depp’s home. Depp claims that Heard tried to “blackmail” him with the photos.
(And Johnny Depp doing drugs would be news to whom??)
-TheBlast
★ With Christmas only a few months away, it looks like Ryan Reynolds is gearing up to give everyone a Christmas present. He’ll be staring in a musical remake of the “A Christmas Carol”. It has also been announced that Will Ferrell will be starring in the movie, but we don’t yet know what role either Reynolds or Ferrell will be playing.
-MSN
★ Joaquin Phoenix says he lived on ”lettuce, asparagus and apples” to slim down for ‘Joker’. He previously revealed he’d lost over 50lbs for his lead role in the movie and has admitted he undertook a ”horrible diet” involving just one very limited meal a day. According to Phoenix, he started by eating just salads with very little dressing, then, quote, “went on the really hardcore diet, which is lettuce and either steamed green beans or steamed asparagus and one apple. And you do that once a day.” Unquote. He recently admitted losing so much weight had made him start to ”go mad”.
-ContactMusic
★ Billie Lourd will honor her late grandma Debbie Reynolds in her next role. She’s signed on to play her real-life grandma’s on-screen granddaughter in “Will & Grace.” Reynolds, who died in 2016, played Grace’s mom, Bobbi Adler, in the original hit show. Lourd made the announcement on social media, saying, “There are not enough happy adjectives in the world to convey the excitement I feel.”
-TheBlast

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kristen Stewart, Naomi Scott, Ella Balinska, Elizabeth Banks, Freddie Highmore, Cage the Elephant.
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Gwen Stefani, Ben Platt, Zac Brown Band
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Paul McCartney
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Liza Koshy, Jade Bird
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rob Corddry, Lake Bell, Anna Drezen
• “Conan” (TBS): Jeffrey Dean Morgan
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Judith Light, Finn Wittrock
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Robert Iger
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): John Goodman, Bob Iger
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Oprah Winfrey, Lil Nas X
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Trisha Yearwood, Erin Moriarty
• “9-1-1” (FOX): Season 3 premiere
• “The Good Doctor” (ABC):  Season 3 premiere
• “The Voice” (NBC): Season 17 premiere
• “The Neighborhood” (CBS): Season 2 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – disappointed her Australian fans but made animal rights activists happy by canceling a concert in conjunction with the Melbourne Cup horse racing event. While not mentioned in the announcement, the cancellation comes after a backlash from animal rights groups, citing allegations of horses being mistreated, and pressuring Swift to “say #NupToTheCup”.
• Drake – Celine Dion has asked him not to get a tattoo of her. He has two tattoos of Sade on his torso and has expressed a desire to add Dion to his collection. In an interview, she said: “Please, Drake, I love you very much. Can I tell you something? Don’t do that. You can write me love letters. You can send me autographs for my kids. You can come and visit… Whatever you want, but please…”
• Eddie Money – His U.S. album sales jumped 11,273% (3,000 albums) the day of his death, Sept. 13. His song sales soared 12,819% (18,345 song sales) and his songs were streamed 3.9 million times that same day. Top song download? ‘Two Tickets to Paradise’ (4,500).
• The Cars — had a 3,700% increase in album sales in the 48 hours following news of Ric Ocasek’s death, and the band’s song sales increased 14,695% in the same time period, with 25,000 song sales (and beating out next-top-sellers Post Malone and Lizzo).
• Sammy Hagar – His “High Tide Beach Party & Car Show”, which was set to take place Sept. 28-29 in Huntington Beach, Ca, has been canceled after being denied a permit. Sammy Hagar & the Circle were scheduled to perform, along with Richie Sambora, The Beach Boys, Vince Neil, Night Ranger, Blue Oyster Cult, Extreme, Steel Panther, Tony Lewis, and Patty Smyth and Scandal.
• Miranda Lambert — will be launching a North American tour early next year in support of her forthcoming album, “Wildcard”, which is set to hit stores November 1st. The Wildcard Tour launches on January 16th in Tupelo, MS and will be wrapping up on February 27th in Fresno, CA. Tickets go on sale this Friday.
• Brad Paisley – will star in his own TV special, “Brad Paisley Thinks He’s Special”. Special guests include Carrie Underwood, Kelsea Ballerini, Hootie & the Blowfish, Tim McGraw, The Jonas Brothers, Peyton Manning and Chris Harrison from “The Bachelor”. No air date has been announced.

AREA 51: STILL NOT STORMED:
Area 51 wasn’t exactly “Stormed” on Friday, but one woman in her 60s was arrested after making it clear to police that she was going to trespass in spite of warnings from authorities. That aside, events involving the “Storm Area 51” Facebook event on Friday were mostly festive, with a crowd estimated to be in the low thousands. One meeting spot, named “Area 51 Basecamp” in the small town of Hiko, featured music, speakers and movies for a smaller than expected crowd. Other “Alienstock” festivals were held in the nearby town of Rachel and in Las Vegas. Fewer than 200 people are reported to have shown up at the entrance to Area 51, with none attempting to pass the gate. Several minor injuries were reported near Area 51, and a man reported missing while hiking from a campground toward an Area 51 gate was found safe. His disappearance is not believed to be an abduction.
(Apparently, they CAN stop all of us…)
-TheGuardian

ODD ODDS:
A new poll shows that millennials have unrealistic expectations when they purchase lottery tickets. Research Co. found in a survey of 800 adults that millennials are more hopeful than older lottery players when it comes to the idea that they might strike it rich. According to the poll, just 24 per cent of those aged 18-to-34 do not believe they will win a prize. It seems the older you are, the lower your expectation of winning is. 40 per cent of those aged 35-to-54 don’t expect to win a thing, and 50 per cent of those 55 or over don’t expect to be cashing in. In spite of all that, 58 per cent of us say we’ve bought a lottery ticket in the past year.
(Or to put it another way, you can’t win without a ticket. And you can’t win WITH a ticket!)
(I’m so sure I won’t win that I don’t even bother to check!)
(Half of the 55-and-up crowd don’t expect to win. That’s called “life experience!)
-CBC

CANDY KALES:
From the department of “Reasons NOT to look forward to Christmas”, kale-flavored candy canes are available this year. Archie McPhee, a Seattle novelty toy and candy producer, which claims to have been selling “impractical items” since 1983, says their veggie-canes taste like leafy greens, but aren’t quite as good for you are the real thing. The green-and-white striped treats come in sets of six and, according to the company, “gives you the flavor of kale with none of the dietary benefits. No more pesky holiday flavors to worry about, just the bitter grassiness of your favorite vegetable . . . They taste just like the kale you love.” Horrify your family for just $6.50 plus shipping.
(I’m going to guess this is for the naughty kids?)
(They’re green! Couldn’t they at least have made them minty?)
(They sell them in sets of six? Believe me, a lot of households are going to be throwing five of them out!)
-NYPost

ACTING YOUR WAGE:
A new poll says that the average American overspends their budget by $7,429.24 every year. While over half of those polled say they have a “meticulously planned out budget”, many still manage to overspend.
On what do we overspend? Online shopping came in at #1, with 40% admitting that’s where they blow the budget. Other culprits:
• Grocery shopping 39%
• Subscription services 37%
• Technology products 36%
• Buying lunch every day 35%
• Household essentials 32%
• Coffee 32%
• Food delivery 32%
• Gym memberships 30%
• Entertainment (movies, concerts, etc.) 29%
(I notice there is nothing here about overspending on your spouse. And as someone who has just had a birthday, I’ve got to say that rings true in my household as well!)
(My suggestion? If you don’t have a budget, you can’t blow it!)
-NYPost

DID YOU KNOW?
You should not crush an aluminum can before recycling it. Why? Because crushed cans can fall through the spaces of the sorting equipment and be either lost entirely or improperly sorted as paper or other products, which ends up contaminating the entire batch of recyclables. (Note: If in your town, each household is responsible for separating paper products from containers, this doesn’t apply. You can go ahead and crush your cans.)
-LifeHacker

BS CHRONOMETER 09.23.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [76] Julio Iglesias, Madrid Spain, world music singer (w/Willie Nelson: ‘To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before’)/sold more than one hundred million records, going gold or platinum more than 400 times

1949 [70] Bruce Springsteen, Freehold NJ, rock singer (20 Grammy Awards, including for ‘Dancing In the Dark’, ‘Tunnel of Love’”)/Academy Award (‘Streets of Philadelphia’)/Tony Award (“Springsteen on Broadway”)/2 Golden Globes/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1999)/Kennedy Center Honors (2009)/Presidential Medal of Freedom (2016)

1959 [60] Jason Alexander, Newark NJ, TV actor (‘George Costanza’ on “Seinfeld” 1989-1998)

1972 [47] Jermaine Dupri (Mauldin), Asheville NC, music producer/recording exec (Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Nelly, TLC, Usher)

1978 [41] Anthony Mackie, New Orleans LA, movie actor (“Captain America” movies, “The Hurt Locker”)

1987 [32] Skyler Astin, New York NY, movie actor (“Pitch Perfect” movies, “21 & Over”)

TODAY’ BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Autumnal Equinox” in the Northern Hemisphere, as Fall officially arrived today at 3:50amEDT. Fall ends with the start of Winter on December 21. (This day is also notable as the official launch of pumpkin spice everything!)

• “Celebrate Bisexuality Day”, initiated in 1999 and now observed in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the USA, and some European countries. A day for people to recognize and celebrate bisexual history, bisexual community and culture, and all the bisexual people in their lives.

• “Restless Legs Awareness Day”, to foster better understanding of this treatable condition. RLS (aka Willis-Ekbom Disease) is a neurologic disorder that causes an irresistible urge to move the legs, often accompanied by unpleasant sensations. About 3% of adults are affected. NET: www.rls.org

• “Proposal Day”, a day on which single people are encouraged to propose marriage. Observed the first day of Spring and the first day of Fall (It is recommended that they propose marriage to people who are also single…!)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Kiss Day
[Tues] Cherries Jubilee Day
[Wed] Binge Day
[Wed] National Cooking Day
This Week Is…International Week of the Deaf
This Month Is…National Recovery Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1994 [25] “The Shawshank Redemption”, starring Morgan Freeman & Tim Robbins, opens in movie theaters (still on many film fans’ all-time favorite list)

2011 [08] Daytime drama “All My Children” airs for the final time on ABC after 41 years

2010 [09] Katy Perry’s appearance on “Sesame Street” is edited out after viewers complain about her revealing dress

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1994 [25] Joe Diffie tops country music charts with ‘Third Rock From the Sun’

2011 [08] Following a Demi Lovato concert at the Nokia Theater, Justin Bieber takes his girlfriend Selena Gomez to The Staples Center, which he has rented out so they can enjoy a private showing of “Titanic” in the 20,000 seat venue

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2002 [17] The 1st public version of the web browser “Mozilla Firefox” is released

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1980 [39] George Adrian of Indianapolis, Indiana sets a world record by picking 365.5 bushels of apples in 8 hours (15,830 lbs)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The television was invented only two years after the invention of sliced bread.
✓ In 2005, a fortune cookie company correctly foretold lottery numbers, resulting in 110 winners, and an investigation. No fraud was involved.
✓ The most popular item at Walmart is bananas. They sell more bananas than any other item.
✓ Strawberries can also be white or yellow. Some taste like pineapples.
✓ Baked beans are actually stewed, not baked.
✓ Bullfrogs do not sleep.
-TheFactSite

BS MISHEARD QUOTES:
• Money is the loot of all evil.
• You are either with us…or taking an Uber.
• Dance like everybody’s watching…and judging you.
• Speak softly and carry a big stick…of gum.
• I love the smell of lip balm in the morning.
• I feel the need, the need for weed!
• If you miss 100% of the shots you take, you suck.
• Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall — and re-build it near Mexico.
• [***CAUTION***] I came here to kick ass and to chew bubble-gum. Does anyone have a piece of gum?
• [***CAUTION***] Wow! This guy’s got the force coming out his ass!
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
GREAT THINGS ABOUT AUTUMN:
• At least 2 full-on turkey dinners and a few pies guaranteed over the next 4 months.
• You can start keeping the beer in the garage again.
• Enjoying the fall color changes by opening the fridge and watching last week’s meatloaf.
• No more pathetically pasty shins sticking out of short pants.
• With the right cable package, you can watch 262 hours of football per week.
• Two words: bugs gone!
– Adapted from MikesTopFive.com

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit ‘tug’ boats push their barges?
• Whyzit the least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish?
• Whyzit there is always one or two ice cubes that won’t pop out of the tray?
• Whyzit ‘palindrome’ isn’t spelled the same way backwards?
• Whyzit the bus is always late … unless you are?
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2011

BS RANDOM JOKE:
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which of these animals has the loudest call?
a. Elephant
b. Howler monkey
c. Blue Whale [CORRECT, 188 decibels]
d. Jellyfish

• What is the airline industry term for the aftermath of a bird/airplane collision?
a. Ploogie
b. Nardle
c. Malpom
d. Snarge [CORRECT]
-PubTimeUselessTrivia

BS PHONE STARTER:
What incorrect (or invented) words for everyday objects did you, your siblings, or your kids dream up?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: People born in the Fall are more likely to do THIS. What is it?
Answer: Live to be 100

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.