Monday, December 9, 2019 – Edition: #6590

It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The Queen isn’t giving up her throne any time soon. There’s been speculation as of late that Queen Elizabeth II plans to retire when she turns 95 in two years. That would effectively pass on the reigning title to her son, Prince Charles. A spokesperson for the office of the Prince of Wales has shot down the rumors in a statement, saying: “There are no plans for any change in arrangements at the age of 95 — or any other age.” Talk of the Queen’s imminent retirement sprung up around the same time that accusations of sexual abuse emerged against Prince Andrew, leading to his stepping away from royal duties.
-MSN
★ Kaley Cuoco and her younger sister Briana are set to share the screen in “The Flight Attendant.” Briana, who is a singer, actress, and dancer, is set to have a recurring role in the upcoming HBO Max series. “The Flight Attendant” tells the story of (you guessed it) a flight attendant who wakes up hungover in a Dubai hotel with a dead body next to her, and no recollection of what happened the night before. Kaley is set to play the lead role of ‘Cassie’ in the show. She will also serve as executive producer. Briana will play Cecilia, a meticulous assistant.
-MSN
★ Peter Sarsgaard has joined the cast of “The Batman” in a mystery role. Fans are speculating that he might be the new District Attorney Harvey Dent, who becomes the villain ‘Two-Face’. Ironically, Sarsgaard’s wife Maggie Gyllenhaal starred in Christopher Nolan’s “The Dark Knight” as Assistant District Attorney Rachel Dawes, who romanced Harvey Dent, then played by Aaron Eckhart. The new film, starring Robert Pattinson as Batman, will also feature Zoe Kravitz, Paul Dano, Colin Farrell, and Jeffrey Wright. The Batman is scheduled to hit theaters in 2021.
-Canoe
★ Ron Leibman, the Emmy-winning actor who won a Tony for his work in Broadway’s “Angels in America” and played the father of Jennifer Aniston’s ‘Rachel Green’ on “Friends”, died on Friday. He was 82. No further details were immediately available. Leibman also won an Emmy in 1979 for portraying a reformed convict who became a criminal attorney on the CBS series “Kaz”.
-Canoe

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jack Black, Michelle Wolf, Allen Stone
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Timothée Chalamet, Ashley Graham, Bong Joon Ho, Summer Walker
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Saoirse Ronan, Tom Brokaw
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Quentin Tarantino, Aisling Bea, Michael Lewis, Coady Willis
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Billie Eilish, Ali Wong, guest host Alicia Keys
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Rick Ingraham, Brendan Schaub, Megan Gailey
• “Conan” (TBS): Laurence Fishburne
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Elizabeth Hurley, Stephen Dorff
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Samantha Rodriguez and her family
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kennedy McMann, Scott Wolf, guest co-host Vanessa Williams
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Tony Goldwyn, Brandon Routh
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Clint Eastwood, Sean Hayes
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jane Lynch, Jo Koy
• “The Great Christmas Light Fight”(ABC): A man-made mega tree; a whimsical Germany meets California display; a replica of the Golden Gate Bridge; a display using intricately designed Chinese lanterns; a high-tech light show dedicated to a family’s dog; a snowman built from tires.
• The Voice” (NBC): Live Semi-Final Top 8 Performances

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – released the new Christmas song, ‘Christmas Tree Farm’ on Thursday. In it, she reflects about Christmas in her childhood home in Reading, Pennsylvania. The music video for the song was created from a collection of Swift’s home videos, allowing fans a glimpse of her childhood Christmases.
• Jennifer Lopez – says she is fully behind her daughter Emme’s dream of becoming a professional singer. Quote: “I want her to know she’s limitless. Performing a duet with her on tour this summer was such a proud moment for me and I know she can accomplish anything if there’s a passion behind it.” In June, J.Lo was joined on stage by her daughter for a duet of ‘Limitless’ in LA.
• DJ Steve Aoki and Sting — have teamed up for a new single and video. The odd couple and trio SHAED have released ‘2 in a Million’, which will appear on Aoki’s upcoming “Neon Future IV” album.
• Ozzy Osbourne — is offering a $25,000 reward to help track down the thieves who looted the Musonia School of Music in North Hollywood, which housed a number of instruments and precious valuables that were once owned by his guitarist and friend, the late Randy Rhoads. Among them … Rhoads’ first electric guitar, and his mother’s depression-era trumpet.
• Alanis Morissette – not only guested on Wednesday’s episode of “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon”, she and the host also put on disguises and headed to the 50th Street subway station. The pair performed ‘The Little Drummer Boy’ in front of a gathering crowd, then took off their costumes and ran through a stripped-down acoustic rendition of ‘You Outta Know’.
• Aerosmith — have announced a 2020 European tour to mark their 50th anniversary. The tour will kick off in Milan, Italy at the iDays Festival on June 13, before hitting up Switzerland, Belgium, Czech Republic, France, Spain, Portugal, Austria, Poland, the UK, Hungary and Denmark, with the final date set for July 27 in Germany.
• Level 42 – Founding guitarist Rowland Gould took his own life, a coroner has ruled. Gould, known as Boon, was found dead at a friend’s home on April 30th. An inquest hears that he had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and told doctors he had suffered from depression all his life. He was 64.
• Keith Urban – has released a video for his first-ever Christmas song, ‘I’ll be Your Santa Tonight’. The song, featuring lyrics about spending the holidays with a loved one, is available now on all major streaming platforms, including YouTube.
• Jason Aldean – played his first major concert in Las Vegas since the tragic shooting at the Route 91 music festival in 2017. He started his three-show residency at the Park MGM on Friday by addressing the survivors, saying: “Tonight’s a really special night for us. We got a lot of people in the crowd who are family to us, so welcome everyone from Route 91. We’re glad to see you guys out.”

PRESENTS PRESENCE:
If you’re not too sure what to buy someone for Christmas, don’t think that whatever you eventually pick will be better received if it’s wrapped all fancy. That could make it worse, according to a new study. Researchers at the University of Nevada found that wrapping presents too neatly inflates the expectations of what’s inside — and doing a sloppy job of gift-wrapping actually helps it go over better. The study also found that bitter feelings over nicely-wrapped gifts were likely to be worse when they came from a loved one rather than an acquaintance.
(Which is why I pay my 5-year-old niece to handle all my wrapping…)
(So my family isn’t that far off with our “bought it at the gas station convenience store and wrapped it on the way to Grandma’s” approach to holiday gift giving?)
(Have you seen me try to wrap a gift? It’s not like I have a choice whether it’ll be nicely wrapped or not…)
-NYPost

SMALL POTATOES:
The question “Do you want fries with that” might become a rhetorical one in North America this winter, because of what could be an impending shortage of…French fries. Some potato producers are reporting that a cold and wet fall has negatively impacted crop yields. This, combined with an increased demand for the vegetable, has left those in the industry with a tight supply. Some growers are reporting as much as an 18% decline in this year’s harvest. French fries are at particular risk because this year’s yield has brought in much smaller potatoes, and French-fry companies prefer larger potatoes for production. Naturally, all this could also mean steep price hikes for potatoes and French fries.
(NOW what am I going to have with my ketchup?)
(I was worried about a potato chips shortage too, but then I remembered I have 37 bags in my kitchen closet…)
(As long as they can keep on making vodka, I’m good!)
-CTV

HOW TO KEEP COLDS AND FLU AWAY:
➢ Wash your hands. A lot:  It’s the best thing you can do to avoid getting sick. It helps prevent the viruses that you may have contracted from someone else getting into your system. (It’s not a bad idea to wash the rest of you once in a while too…)
➢ Clean your toothbrush:  They should be soaked in 3% hydrogen peroxide on a daily basis during cold and flu season. (Why? Is someone else using my toothbrush?)
➢ Avoid germ hotspots:  Try to avoid spending time in places like public transportation, children’s indoor play areas, the gym, and hospital waiting rooms as much as possible during the sick season. (Gym. Check.)
➢ Avoid Sugar:  It compromises the immune system and depletes immunity-boosting magnesium. (But if I don’t help myself to copious amounts of Mom’s Christmas baking, I’m going to set myself up for a whole different kind of “unwell”!)
➢ Try Alternating Hot and Cold Water in the Shower:  30 seconds of hot, then 30 seconds of cold, and repeat for as long as you dare. It is said that doing so is a natural method of stimulating the immune system. (I thought we were also trying to avoid a heart attack, here…)
➢ Practice a wellness routine:  When your body isn’t functioning well, your immune system can be compromised. Getting enough sleep, maintaining a healthy diet, exercising, and keeping stress at a minimum will help keep you healthier. (I like to swim. In hand sanitizer.)
-TheRemedy

THE WORLD’S TOP-EARNING MUSICIANS OF 2019:
1. Taylor Swift ($185 million)
2. Kanye West ($150 million)
3. Ed Sheeran ($110 million)
4. Eagles ($100 million)
5. Elton John ($84 million)
6. (tie) Beyoncé ($81 million)
7. (tie) Jay-Z ($81 million)
8. Drake ($75 million)
9. Diddy ($70 million)
10. Metallica ($68.5 million)
-Forbes

DID YOU KNOW?
A new study says that the average person will spend more than 78,000 hours (8.9 years) in front of the television in their lifetime. The study, which was commissioned by LG electronics, surveyed 2,000 British adults about their viewing habits. It also found that the average adult will spend around 2,943 hours of their life (122.6 days) deciding what to watch.
-NYPost

BS CHRONOMETER 12.09.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1916 [103] Kirk Douglas (Issur Danielovitch), Amsterdam NY, movie actor (“Spartacus”, “Gunfight At the OK Corral”)/father of actor Michael Douglas

1934 [85] (Dame) Judi Dench, York UK, movie actress (“Skyfall”, “Shakespeare in Love”) COMING UP…”Cats”

1953 [66] John Malkovich, Christopher IL, movie actor (“Being John Malkovich”, “RED” movies)

1962 [57] Felicity Huffman, Bedford NY, TV actress (“Desperate Housewives” 2004-12) married to William H. Macy (served 2 weeks in jail in Oct. in connection with the college admissions scandal)

1968 [51] Brian Bell, Knoxville TN, rock guitarist (Weezer-‘Buddy Holly’, ‘Beverly Hills’)

1972 [47] Tre Cool (Frank Edwin Wright III), Frankfurt, Germany, rock drummer (Green Day-Good Riddance [Time of Your Life]’, ‘Boulevard Of Broken Dreams’)

1978 [41] Jesse Metcalfe, TV actor, Carmel Valley CA (“Desperate Housewives” 2004-09, “Chesapeake Shores” 2016-18)

1980 [39] Simon Helberg, LA CA, TV actor (‘Howard Wolowitz’ on “The Big Bang Theory” 2007-19)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Green Monday”, usually the 2nd Monday of December, an online retail term similar to “Cyber Monday”, as coined by eBay to describe its best sales day in December. “Market Watch” ranks it the 3rd-biggest online shopping day of the year.

• “Christmas Card Day”, commemorating the first commercial Christmas card, commissioned by Sir Henry Cole in London, England in 1843, which featured an illustration by John Callcott Horsley. His cheery little card depicting a family with glasses raised in a Christmas toast was widely denounced at the time as promoting drunkenness. (***See ‘BS Holiday Cards for the Sarcastic’, below***)

• “Anna’s Day” in Sweden and Finland, when it’s time to start the preparation process of the lutefisk to be consumed on Christmas Eve, as well as a Swedish name day celebrating all people named ‘Anna’.

• “International Anti-Corruption Day”, to raise awareness of corruption and the role of the UN Convention Against Corruption in combating and preventing it.

• “Pastry Day”, a fun day created to encourage you to make, and of course eat, your favorite pastries. Initiated by the ‘Danish’?

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Dewey Decimal System Day
[Tues] Human Rights Day
[Wed] National App Day
[Wed] Holiday Food Drive for Needy Animals Day
This Week Is…Computer Science Education Week
This Month Is…Operation Santa Paws

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1965 [54] “A Charlie Brown Christmas”, the first animated ‘Peanuts’ TV special, makes its debut

2006 [13] Mariah Carey threatens legal action against porn star Mary Carey in an attempt to stop her from trademarking the similar-sounding stage name

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2010 [09] Eric Clapton announces he’s selling off part of his extensive guitar collection to raise money for his Crossroads Rehab Centre in Antigua

2014 [05] Sting joins the Broadway cast of his musical “The Last Ship”, in an attempt to rescue it from plummeting ticket sales (doesn’t work)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1979 [40] ‘World’s Largest Turkey’ (77 lbs/35 kg) is auctioned for $4,000 in London, England

2018 [01] New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady breaks Peyton Manning’s record for most touchdown passes in NFL history; moves to 582 with a 3 TD effort

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Smelling bananas and/or green apples can help you lose weight.
✓ During your lifetime, you’ll eat about 60,000 pounds of food. That’s the weight of about 6 elephants.
✓ Humans blink over 10,000,000 times a year.
✓ The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet (9 m).
✓ If you counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion.
✓ People use an average of fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day.
-StrangeFacts

BS REASONS THE GRINCH IS AWESOME:
• He has the most sturdy sled known to man.
• He basically walks around naked and no one seems to even notice.
• Baby Grinch is almost as cute as Baby Yoda.
• He gets Whoville to stop singing that stupid song for at least a few minutes.
• I’ve never seen anyone, anywhere with better facial expressions.
• Unlike many politicians, his heart is actually capable of growing.
• He personifies who we all want to be when showing up to our holiday family gatherings.
• Helps you take down your Christmas decorations.
• He is so full of hate that he should be on Twitter.
• It ain’t easy being green.
• How bad can he be if he loves his dog?
-Twitter

BS HOLIDAY CARDS FOR THE SARCASTIC:
• “Merry who cares … and when does it end?”
• “No Christmas gifts for anyone who has sent a Candy Crush request.”
• “Good friends, cozy fire, delicious treats, heartburn, bankruptcy, extreme bursts of anger.”
• “I hope you enjoy this present more than I did when I received it.”
• “What the hell is a sugar plum anyway?”
• “For you from Satan. Whoops! Auto-correct was off. That should be Santa …”
• “Yum, egg nog! … said no one ever.”
• “I hope your holiday breakdown is filled with joy.”
• “Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house … everyone was on their phone.”
• “Fa la la la frickin’ la.”
– Adapted from BuzzFeed.com, first published in ‘BS’ in 2015

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• The French word “Noel” is often used around Christmas. What was its original meaning in Latin?
a. Birth [CORRECT]
b. Gift
c. Tree
d. Leon

• Which is NOT another name for “Santa Claus” somewhere in the world?
a. Papa Noel
b. Father North [CORRECT. He’s known as ‘Papa Noel’ in Peru and Brazil, ‘Grandfather Frost’ in Russia, and ‘Joulupukki’ in Finland]
c. Grandfather Frost
d. Joulupukki
-Conversationstarters

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which aspect of the holidays would you get rid of if you could?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’ve never been held hostage, but I HAVE been in a group text.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Only 6% of us regret when we do THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Shop online while drunk

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.