Wednesday, August 19, 2020 – Edition: #6790
If You Can’t Beguile Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ (***Caution: ‘F’***) Ryan Reynolds seemed to leave his humble pie on the table as he proudly celebrated the sale of the his “Aviation Gin” company for $610 million. In true Ryan fashion, he patted himself on the back and created a hilarious “Out of Office” e-mail. It read, in part: “Thanks for your email. I am currently out of the office but will still be very hard at work selling Aviation Gin. For quite a long time, it seems. In related news, I just learned what an ‘earn out’ is… And I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone I told to go ‘F’ themselves in the last 24 hours….My lawyers just explained how long it takes to achieve an ‘earn out’… so… turns out I’m not as George Clooney as I thought.” His signature read “his signature read, “Owner?” of Aviation American Gin.” It’s been reported that almost half the value of the deal is based on the performance of Aviation American Gin over a 10-year period.
-E!
★ Carole Baskin is allegedly demanding a $1.2 million US fee to take part in a second season of “Tiger King”. Baskin was one of the subjects of the docuseries, which followed zoo owner Joe Exotic as he was convicted of plotting to kill the animal rights activist, and explored rumors that she was involved with the disappearance of her wealthy ex-husband Don Lewis, who was legally declared dead in 2002. While Exotic is said to have jumped on board after Netflix reportedly secured the rights to a second season of the show, Baskin has yet to sign on the dotted line.
-Canoe
★ Sharon Stone blames “non-mask wearers” for her sister’s COVID-19 diagnosis. She shared her sister Kelly’s experience on Instagram, posting a picture of her hospital room and writing that Kelly had lupus before being diagnosed with the coronavirus. Kelly has a weakened immune system and only went to the pharmacy before she was infected, according to the post, which ended with the plea: “Wear a mask! For yourself and others. Please.”
-CNN
★ Paramount Pictures is planning a remake of the classic John Hughes 1987 road trip comedy “Planes, Trains & Automobiles” — starring Will Smith and Kevin Hart! The original starred Steve Martin and John Candy as a mismatched duo forced to become bunkmates and traveling partners in a desperate attempt to get home to loved ones for Thanksgiving after their flights are canceled. A slew of holiday travel disasters follow, and the two characters mix like water and oil.
-Yahoo
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zendaya, MUNA & the Knocks, guest host Ben Platt
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tyler Perry, Maisie Williams, Trevor Daniel
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sen. Bernie Sanders
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Sandra Oh, Gayle King, Thomas Land
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ethan Hawke, Chris Tomlin featuring Florida Georgia Line & Thomas Rhett
• “Conan” (TBS): Chris Redd (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Amy Schumer (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Mike Colter, guest co-host Vanessa L. Williams (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Debra Messing, Daveed Diggs, Adriene Mishler, Caroline Rhea (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Shia LaBeouf, Jon Dorenbos, Hootie & the Blowfish (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Sean Hayes, Jena Malone
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Results show 2. Five acts move on to the semifinals.
• “Dodgeball Thunderdome” (DISCOVERY): Series premiere. Contestants compete for glory and $25,000 cash in an arena unlike any other; Aaron Rodgers tries his hand at a brand-new ballgame.
• “America’s Choice 2020: Democratic National Convention” (CNN): Coverage of the 2020 Democratic National Convention from Milwaukee.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Miley Cyrus – will perform at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards. Cyrus, who hosted the VMAs in 2015, will perform her new single ‘Midnight Sky’. Other performers scheduled for the socially distanced broadcast on Aug 30 include Lady Gaga, The Weeknd, Roddy Ricch, BTS, Doja Cat, J Balvin, Maluma and CNCO.
• Cardi B – Her collaboration with Megan Thee Stallion ‘WAP’ debuted this week atop the Billboard Hot 100. The raunchy single was streamed 93 million times in the U.S. for the week ending August 13 — the most for any track ever in its first week of release. The song is Cardi’s fourth No. 1 and Megan Thee Stallion’s second.
• Josh Groban – One of the things he misses most these days is the give-and-get he usually enjoys from interacting with his audience. Quote: “When the song is over, to have silence is so weird.” He has new album due in November and three themed live-streaming concerts, starting with a set featuring Broadway tunes in October.
• Ozzy Osbourne – says he thinks the pandemic might stop him from ever performing another gig. He’d like to finish his “No More Tours II” dates, but the 71-year-old doubts he’ll be able to because of the health crisis.
• Metal Hall of Fame – Its annual gala can now be seen on Amazon Prime. This year’s program features a tribute to late Rush drummer Neil Peart, as well as the inductions of artists such as Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, former Queensrÿche singer Geoff Tate, Don Dokken, Ratt’s Stephen Pearcy and more.
• Keith Urban – revealed the track list for his upcoming album “The Speed of Now Part 1” earlier this month. Now, he has named the artists who make guest appearances: Pink, guitarist Nile Rodgers, Breland and Eric Church.
• Trace Adkins – on Friday, he released the new single ‘Just the Way We Do It’. It will appear on the EP “Ain’t That Kind of Cowboy,” scheduled to drop Oct. 16.
GAITER-AID:
Many people are using bandanas or neck gaiters as their go-to face covering. The fact that they can easily slide up and down the face makes them a favorite among runners and hikers. Now, though, a study from Duke University suggests bandanas and neck gaiters are among the worst choices for face coverings when it comes to blocking fluid droplets, and may be worse at blocking the coronavirus than wearing no face mask at all. The study authors found that neck gaiters and bandanas cause larger fluid droplets to break up into smaller particles. This increases droplet counts and could allow particles to hang around in the air for longer periods of time. That could raise the likelihood that someone wearing them transmits COVID-19 to others nearby.
(Oh, well. Now bandanas can go back to being used for their intended purpose: Having a nose blown into them, being put into a pocket, and then later having a nose blown into them again…)
(Bandanas and neck gaiters are both the worst face coverings? That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of rednecks and spandex-clad cyclists being lumped into the same group!)
-StudyFinds
ALL YOU CAN’T EAT:
Some of China’s social media platforms plan to punish users seen to be wasting food in their videos. Short-video platform Douyin, the Chinese version of TikTok, says users searching for keywords such as “eating broadcast” or “big stomach kings” will now be shown prompts urging them to “reject waste and eat reasonably” as the government urges against food wastage in the middle of a pandemic. Douyin is calling on users to “cherish food” and says it will impose penalties according to the degree of violations of the new standards. “Big stomach kings” livestreamers, in particular, were called out on a program by state broadcaster CCTV last week as encouraging wastage. The trend of celebrities, often with slim figures, eating copious amounts of food quickly first started in Japan and South Korea, according to local media.
(Naw…I think we can blame Joey Chestnut!)
(If they want people to stop wasting food, they should stop making crab rangoon…)
(Well, there’s someone who doesn’t like big butts, and they cannot lie…)
-Reuters
WORTH ITS SALT:
Australian scientists say they’ve come up with a material that makes salty water safe to drink. Researchers found that using a metal-organic framework compounds (or MOFs) together with sunlight can purify water in just half an hour, using a process that’s more efficient than existing techniques. When the metal-organic framework of compounds is exposed to sunlight, it releases all of the salt ions it has soaked up from the water, and is ready to be used again. They say that their desalination process provides an “energy-efficient and environmentally-sustainable solution for desalination.” Globally, about 785 million people lack a clean source of drinking water within half an hour’s walk of where they live, and as the climate crisis continues, the problem is getting worse. It’s not clear how close the researchers are to getting their system into a working, practical form.
(Sure it sounds impressive. But anyone could have done this, if they had access to metal-organic framework compounds!)
(If they want to impress me, they need to figure out a way to take the lemon taste out of the water at the restaurant I was at last night!)
(I had to hear about this the day after I bought salt for my water-softener?)
-ScienceAlert
THIS JOB IS KILLIN’ ME:
New research has uncovered the careers with the biggest overall risk to health. Here they are, in order:
1. EMT & Paramedics
2. Firefighters
3. Dentists (Dentists?)
4. Immigration & Customs Inspectors
5. Flight Attendants
6. Riggers
7. Police Patrol Officers
8. Commercial Pilots
9. Veterinarians
10. Anaesthesiologists
Web developers were found to have the least hazardous job, but also the worst for fitness.
-Ladders, Lenstore
DID YOU KNOW?
Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases in the US, jogs or power-walks 4 miles with his wife every evening. He appeared in an online video describing how while he doesn’t wear a mask over his face the entire time, he keeps it in chinstrap mode, flipping it up to cover his nose and mouth when someone comes within about 50 yards, and keeping it in place until they pass. When the coronavirus pandemic began, Fauci said he was working 19 hours a day, but still managed to find time to squeeze in a 3.5-mile jog. He is 79 years old. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y2xta8q5
BS CHRONOMETER 08.19.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [74] Bill Clinton (William Jefferson Blythe III), Hope AR, former politician (42nd US President 1993-2001, governor of Arkansas 1979–1981 and 1983–1992)
1948 [72] Jim Carter, Harrogate UK, TV actor (‘Carson’ the butler on “Downton Abbey” 2010-15)
1951 [69] John Deacon, Oadby England, retired rock bassist (Queen-‘Another One Bites the Dust’, ‘You’re My Best Friend’)
1955 [65] Peter Gallagher, New York City NY, TV actor (“The O.C.” 2003-07, “Covert Affairs” 2010-14)/movie actor (“While You Were Sleeping”)
1963 [57] John Stamos, Cypress CA, TV actor (“Scream Queens” 2016, “Fuller House” 2016-20, “Full House” 1987-95)
1965 [55] Kyra Sedgwick, TV actress (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine” since 2014, “The Closer” 2005-12)/Mrs. Kevin Bacon since 1988
1969 [51] Matthew Perry, Williamstown MA [raised Ottawa ON], TV actor (“Friends” 1994-2004, “The Odd Couple” 2015-17)
1969 [51] Clay Walker, Vidor TX, country singer (‘She Won’t Be Lonely Long’, ‘Live Until I Die’)
1976 [44] Régine Chassagne, Montréal QC, indie-rock singer/multi-instrumentalist (Arcade Fire-‘Reflektor’, ‘Keep the Car Running’)/married to group co-founder Win Butler
1983 [37] Tammin Sursok, Johannesburg South Africa, TV actress (‘Jenna Marshall’ on “Pretty Little Liars” 2010-17)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Aviation Day”, an annual observance honoring the 1871 birth date of Orville Wright, who piloted the first self-powered flight in history on December 17, 1903.
• “Potato Day”, did you know that more than 45 billion pounds of potatoes are harvested in the U.S. each year? We use them to make baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, home fries, French fries (and to remove broken light bulbs from the socket!) — the list is endless…
• “International Orangutan Day”, to encourage the public to take action in preserving this amazing yet endangered species. Orangs are the most iconic victim of the palm oil industry.
• “International Bow Day”, recognizing the accessory that has been changing fashion for centuries – bows! Adding accessories makes just about any look so much better. (Today we bow to the bow!)
• “Afghan Independence Day”, celebrating the country of Afghanistan gaining full independence from the United Kingdom in 1919. (Only to be invaded about 87 times afterward…)
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Bacon Lover’s Day
[Thurs] Lemonade Day
[Fri] Men’s Grooming Day
[Fri] Senior Citizens Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1993 [27] Actress Kim Basinger weds actor Alec Baldwin (daughter Ireland is born in 1995; they divorce in 2002)
2003 [17] MTV debuts the reality series “Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica”, featuring Jessica Simpson and 98 Degrees’ Nick Lachey. The show is a hit thanks to Jessica’s “dumb blonde” antics, and lasts three seasons, after which the couple promptly divorce
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2008 [12] Lady Gaga’s debut album “The Fame” is released (Grammy Awards for “Best Electronic/Dance Album”, and “Best Dance Recording” for ‘Poker Face’, 2009)
2014 [06] Kate Bush requests fans not take photos or videos during her 22-date run of performances in London UK (this becomes a trend)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2015 [05] US Navy announces it will begin allowing women to undergo its intensive 6-month SEAL training
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ There are more insects in one square mile of rural land than there are human beings in the world.
✓ A study found that orcas can learn to speak dolphin.
✓ Less than 10% of criminals commit about 67% of all crimes.
✓ Nose prints can be used to identify dogs, just like humans use fingerprints.
✓ Minnows have teeth in their throat.
✓ There are no hog lips or snouts in SPAM.
-RandomFactGenerator
BS STUPID QUESTIONS FOR OPTIMISTS:
• What are the cons of being optimistic?
• Have you tried looking through ROSÉ colored glasses?
• Is your last name ‘Prime’?
• Why not just fill it all the way?
• So, you’ve been a Cleveland Browns fan for a while now, huh?
• You’re still like that, even this year?
• Can I book an eye test?
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
BS REALLY BAD PRESS CONFERENCE OPENING LINES:
✗ “My pants will be arriving shortly.”
✗ “It was never my intention to get caught.”
✗ “I’d like to thank my wives for standing here beside me.”
✗ “Does this look like a bullseye rash?”
✗ “I’ll keep this short because I need to flee the country.”
✗ “I am so high right now.”
✗ “Florida law says if I don’t like your questions, I can shoot you.”
✗ “I thought I said no fat reporters.”
✗ (***Caution***) “Look at you sorry sons-of-bitches.”
-First published in BS in 2016
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ The Democratic Convention ends tomorrow. (One thing we’ve learned this week is that when Joe Biden says, “I’m with her,” in a crowded arena, he could be talking about anyone…)
➠ I just read a survey that said 3/5ths of workers say they’re miserable at work. (Which is shocking . . . 3/5ths of us still have jobs???)
➠ Scientists have discovered that people’s heads are getting bigger. (See what happens when you believe everyone is reading your “brilliant” Facebook posts!)
➠ Former US President Bill Clinton is 74 today. (He was hoping to get a little somethin’- somethin’ for his birthday . . . but it turns out Hillary is going to be in town.)
➠ Thought of the Day: People tend to confuse being mean with being honest. (Unless you’re a British judge on a reality show, then it’s just MEAN…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
So THAT’S what that’s for: https://tinyurl.com/y2vksgrk
TRUTH OR BS:
• Although your fingerprints are unique, your toe prints are not. [BS. They’re unique, and so are our tongue prints!]
• In your lifetime, your mouth produces enough saliva to fill 2 medium-sized bathtubs, on average. [BS. It would fill about 53!]
• There are 10 events in a decathlon. [True]
• There are 4 holes in a ten-pin bowling ball. [BS. There are 3]
• There are 7 Harry Potter books, but 8 movies. [True. The final book was made into 2 movies.]
• In the movie “Avengers: Infinity War”, the Avengers team up with Batman [BS. They join forces with The Guardians of the Galaxy]
• The country “Iceland” is covered in ice. [False. Just 11% is covered in permanent ice]
• Venice is the capital city of Italy. [False. Rome is]
-TrueorFalse?
BS PHONE STARTER:
Tell the story about the time you saw the thing you weren’t supposed to see.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The 5 second rule does not apply when you have a 2 second dog.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Five percent of us say we never leave home without one of these — which just about no one had a decade ago. What is it?
Answer: A portable phone charger (power bank).
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
