Monday, August 24, 2020 – Edition: #6793

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Howie Mandel sure knows how to lighten the mood. He sent a prank gift to fellow “America’s Got Talent” judge Simon Cowell, who’s recovering from surgery after breaking his back when he fell while testing a new electric bicycle. Cowell shared a photo of the gift that Mandel had delivered to his home: a three-wheeled tricycle. Mandel responded to the post by writing: “Safe biking my friend.”
-MSN
★ Friday’s scheduled “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” charity table read was postponed due to ”insurmountable technical issues”. Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, Morgan Freeman, Henry Golding, Brad Pitt, Jimmy Kimmell, Matthew McConaughey and original star Sean Penn had all signed up for Dane Cook’s “Feelin’ A-Live” virtual event raising money for Penn’s humanitarian charity CORE and the REFORM Alliance. The special event was scheduled to be broadcast on Facebook and TikTok. Cook says a new date and time will be announced soon.
-ContactMusic
★ The “Friends” reunion won’t go ahead without a live studio audience. All six cast members are set to take part in the one-off special for HBO Max, and now co-creator Marta Kauffman says: ”We all want it to happen. We just have to wait until it is safe. This is a show that is not scripted, but this is the way the show works – we are going to need a live audience. Even if we socially distance that live audience…We can not do it without them.” She says now, they are “just waiting” for the right time.
-ContactMusic
★ “The X-Files” stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson reunited for a special charity remix of the spooky show’s classic music theme. Fans Jennifer Large and Rebecca McDonald won a songwriting competition to come up with lyrics for the instrumental, and 33 members of the original cast and crew from The X-Files showed up online for a virtual group rendition of the remix, named: “Songs in the Key of X”, which can now be viewed on YouTube. LINK:  https://tinyurl.com/y54jw7fu
-Canoe

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Dan Levy, Elle King, guest host David Spade
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Eisenberg, Blake Griffin, Gracie Abrams (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jon Favreau, Jon Lovett, Tommy Vietor, Tim McGraw, Laura Benanti
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Maisie Williams, Bright Eyes
• “Conan” (TBS): Don Cheadle (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Madison Cawthorn, George Lopez (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Dr. Michael Roizen (R)
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV):  Michael B. Jordan, Bryan Stevenson, Charlize Theron, Rex Orange County (R)
• “Love Island” (CBS): Premiere. After months spent in isolation and virtual dating, 11 singles prepare to find their perfect matches.
• “2020 Republican Convention” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Coverage of the Republican National Convention with reports and analysis.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish –has revealed that her single ‘Bad Guy’ is about rappers who lie about their wealth. According to her, “Pretty much all the rappers right now are lying, about how much money they have and about their house and their clothes etc.”
• Kanye West — Kirsten Dunst is upset her picture was used by him in a Presidential campaign flyer, and she’s questioning why he would use her in the first place. He shared a collage on Twitter featuring bunch of faces including Dunst’s and Vogue boss Anna Wintour. Dunst says authorization was neither sought nor given.
• Chris Cornell — The bronze statue of him outside of the Museum of Pop Culture in Seattle has been vandalized. A tweet from the late singer’s official account run by his wife Vicky said: “My children and I are heartbroken to learn of the vandalization of Chris’s statue.” On Friday, the statue was restored but blocked off.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Guitarist Jack Sherman, who played on their debut album, has died at 64. The band tweeted: “He was a unique dude and we thank him for all times good, bad and in between. Peace on the boogie platform.” The cause of death has not been disclosed.
• Quiet Riot – Drummer Frankie Banali died at 68 on Friday. He had a very public battle with pancreatic cancer for over 16 months. He reformed the band in 2010, and starred in the documentary “Quiet Riot – Well Now You’re Here There’s No Way Back”.
• Rick Springfield – has collaborated with Coheed and Cambria on a sequel to his huge 1981 hit ‘Jessie’s Girl’. The careful-what-you-wish-for story song “Jessie’s Girl 2” imagines what might’ve have happened if Springfield had gotten the girl in the end… and she turned out to be a psychotic murderess.  VIDEO:  https://youtu.be/BTGo-JHuCGc
• Dwight Yoakam – The 63-year old and his wife Emily Joyce have welcomed a son. Dalton Loren was born Aug. 16. This is the first child for both Yoakam and Joyce. The two were married in March.
• Florida Georgia Line — Tyler Hubbard will need surgery after an accident on a dirt bike track. He posted video where he says that he “over-jumped” and “landed flat”, resulting in a ruptured achilles tendon and a broken bone on the inside of the ankle. He hopes to be walking in 4 weeks, “because that’s when baby number 3 gets here.”

NOSE MORE:
Maybe you’ve had the pleasure of having one of those seemingly foot-long nose swabs shoved up your honker to do a COVID-19 test. Or maybe you’ve just seen it done on TV. Either way, I think we can all agree that it’s probably not a pleasant experience. Well, good news: Soon, spitting into a cup may be an alternative to the nose swab when being tested for the coronavirus.  “SalivaDirect”, a cheap, saliva-based test for the disease developed by researchers at Yale University, received emergency authorization for use from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration last week. It’s being released as an “open source” protocol — making it freely available for other labs using commercially available ingredients and equipment. Although still unavailable in many countries at this point, if and when it becomes widely available for use, SalivaDirect tests promise to get the same result as the nasal swab test more than 90% of the time, without the use of swabs and some chemicals which are sometimes in short supply. The sample can also be collected by the patient him (or her) self, lowering the risk to health-care workers, and it is cheaper than traditional COVID-19 testing as well. Experts also say it could lead to wider testing because it’s sometimes difficult to get people to go to assessment centers.
(That’s probably because someone there wants to shove a foot-long swab up their honker!)
(But if they do more tests…)
-CBC

LIVE (REVENUE) STREAMING:
Musicians are now able to charge fans for access to virtual concerts and livestreams on Facebook, thanks to a new paid online events function. The new system went live last week in 20 countries, including the US, UK, Australia and Canada. It allows not just musicians, who have suffered financially from not being able to perform live during the pandemic, but businesses, creators, educators and media publishers to charge entry to their virtual events. Facebook says the company will not be taking a cut of revenue from paid online access events for “at least the next year”, to support small businesses and creators.
(It’s good, because I was really worried how Elton John was going to make ends meet this year…)
(Oh, no. Now, my drunken neighbor who holds a jam session in his garage every weekend is going to suddenly be a “content creator”!)
-NME

WELL-TRAINED DOG…OWNERS:
German dog owners may soon be legally required to take their pets for walks twice per day. Under planned rules, people who own dogs will be required to walk their dog twice per day for at least one-hour total, and will be banned from chaining their dogs for long periods of time, and from leaving dogs alone the whole day. Agriculture Minister Julia Klöckner says the changes are based on expert advice to ensure animal protection and welfare. A draft of the new regulations has already been drawn up and could become law early next year. A spokesperson says it is unlikely that private dog owners would receive police visits to check whether they had taken their pooch for a walk.
(While you’re here, officer, could you take Nipper for a little stroll?)
(I don’t think even the police could get my kids to walk the dog!)
(I’ve got an 85-pound Basset Hound. He wouldn’t walk for an hour over the course of a month!)
-BBC

AWKWARD THINGS EVERYONE DOES BUT NOBODY TALKS ABOUT:
➢ Sitting there like a dork while everyone sings ‘Happy Birthday’ to you.
➢ Walking back after you bowl.
➢ When someone drops you off and they wait for you to get into the house and you struggle to unlock the door.
➢ When the cashier says “I can help the next person” but you’re still scrambling to put away your change and pick up your stuff.
➢ Watching a movie with your parents when a sex scene comes on.
➢ Trying to reply to the dentist with his hands buried to the third knuckle in your mouth.
➢ The awkward 7 seconds at the end of a Zoom call after people have said their goodbyes, but are still trying to leave the meeting.
(What about when you’ve already asked someone to repeat themselves twice and you still have no idea what they said, so you just say “yeah”, and later realize that was the exact opposite of what the appropriate answer should have been?)
-BuzzFeed

DID YOU KNOW?
Researchers at Duke University have found that when birds sing outside your window in the wee hours of the morning, they’re really just practicing. And just like you when you sing in the shower, they sound better after they’ve had a chance to loosen their voice. Scientists measured the vocal performance of 11 swamp sparrows and found that as the day goes on, the birds’ vocal performance generally improved — meaning they were able to ‘sing’ more physically challenging songs. Older and larger males were found to sing “higher performance” songs, which were found to be more attractive to females and more intimidating to rival males.
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 08.24.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [75] Vince McMahon, Pinehurst NC, wrestling promotor-executive (CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment since 1980 [formerly World Wrestling Federation]/former wrestler (as Mr. McMahon)

1960 [60] Cal Ripkin Jr., Havre De Grace MD, retired pro baseball player (Hall of Fame [2007] shortstop/third baseman who played his entire 21-year career with the Baltimore Orioles)/MLB record for most consecutive games played with 2,632/19-time All-Star/2-time AL MVP/2 Gold Gloves

1961 [59] Jared Harris, London England, TV actor (‘Lane Pryce’ on “Mad Men” 2009-12, “The Crown” 2016-17)

1965 [55] Marlee Matlin, Morton Grove IL, movie actress (the only deaf performer to win an Academy Award [1986’s “Children of a Lesser God”])

1973 [47] Dave Chappelle, Washington DC, comedian/actor (“Chappelle’s Show” 2003-05)/movie actor (“Block Party”, “Half Baked”)

1976 [44] Alex O’Loughlin, Canberra Australia, TV actor (‘Steve McGarrett’ on “Hawaii Five-O” 2010-20)

1981 [39] Chad Michael Murray, Buffalo NY, TV actor (‘Lucas Scott’ on “One Tree Hill” 2003-12)

1988 [32] Rupert Grint, Watton-at-Stone UK, movie actor (‘Ron Weasley’ in “Harry Potter” films)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Peach Pie Day”, honoring the seasonal dessert made from flour, sugar, butter, and freshly-picked juicy peaches. Yummers! (Sat. was “Eat a Peach Day”. Good times if you like peaches!)

• “Waffle Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the invention of the ‘Waffle Iron’ by Cornelius Swartwout of Troy NY on this day in 1869. Other inventions attributed to today’s date include ‘Potato Chips’ (Chef George Crum, Saratoga Springs NY in 1853) and the ‘Motion Picture Camera’ (Thomas Edison in Menlo Park NJ, 1891).

• “Weather Complaint Day”, marking the date in 1897 when editor Charles Dudley Warner of the “Hartford Courant” published the quip, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” (What other weather clichés drive you bonkers?)

• “Knife Day”, to celebrate the ancient tool that has survived as long as man has—evolving from stone and obsidian to carbon and stainless steels.

• “Strange Music Day”, The premise is simple: to get people to play and listen to types of music they have never experienced before. The ‘strange’ part can mean either unfamiliar or bizarre – the choice is entirely yours.

• “Can Opener Day”, Peter Durand invented canned food in 1813, but the can opener wasn’t invented until almost 50 years later. How did people open canned food before the can opener? The instructions on an 1824 can of roast veal read, “Cut round on the top near to the outer edge with a chisel and hammer.” (***Here’s another method: https://tinyurl.com/pm6r9xd ***)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Kiss and Make Up Day
[Tues] Banana Split Day
[Wed] National Dog Day
[Wed] Make Your Own Luck Day
This Week Is…Be Kind to Humankind Week
This Month Is…Goat Cheese Month

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [06] English actor Richard Attenborough (“Jurassic World”), director (“A Bridge Too Far”), and producer (“Gandhi”), dies in London at age 90

2018 [02] English TV host Robin Leach (“Lifestyles of Rich & Famous”) dies at age 76

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1981 [39] Mark David Chapman is sentenced in NYC to serve 20 years-to-life in prison for the assassination of music icon John Lennon (his parole attempts have repeatedly been denied)

2008 [12] Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page perform the Led Zeppelin classic ‘Whole Lotta Love’ during the closing ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics at Birds Nest Stadium

2019 [01] Billie Eilish ends a 19-week run at #1 for ‘Old Town Road’ by Lil Nas X when her hit ‘Bad Guy’ claims the top spot on the Hot 100.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2006 [14] A meeting of 424 astronomers demotes the former planet Pluto to ‘dwarf planet status’ (it had been designated a planet since its discovery in 1930)

2011 [09] Tim Cook becomes Apple CEO after Steve Jobs resigns due to health issues (Jobs dies in October at age 56 from pancreatic cancer)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2002 [18] Petri Valta of Finland outdistances 90 other contestants from 7 countries by hurling a Nokia 5510 cellphone 219 feet to set a new world record at the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships in Finland

2012 [08] After his decision not to contest charges of doping, US cyclist Lance Armstrong learns he’s to be stripped of his record 7 Tour de France titles and banned from racing for life

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700%.
✓ Only one out of every three people has 20/20 vision.
✓ If you add together all the numbers on a roulette wheel, you’ll get 666.
✓ Bananas are slightly radioactive.
✓ Disney World is roughly the same size as San Francisco (43 square miles).
✓ A pregnant goldfish is called a ‘twit’.
-TheFactSite, BathroomReadersInstitute

BS NEWER STATE NICKNAMES:
• New Hampshire: 50% Better Than Old Hampshire
• Utah: The “I Now Pronounce You Man & Wives” State
• New York: The “Are You Talkin’ To Me?” State
• Tennessee: Fewer double consonants than Mississippi.
• Oregon: It’s A Riot!
• Wyoming? Why NOT oming!?
• Minnesota: We’re Not A Soft Drink
• New Jersey: We’ve Heard All the Jokes, So Save It
• Florida. State of Emergency
• Idaho: We’re Not Actually Hoes
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS ANIMATED RAPPERS:
• The Real Slim Shaggy
• The Notorious Porky P.I.G.
• Wil Easy E Coyote
• Jessica Rap-it
• Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Simpson
• A Tribe Called Johnny Quest
• Scoob Dog
• Thugs Bunny
• Will.I.Yam.What.I.Yam
• 2 Live Pooh
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Mel Gibson has recovered from the coronavirus after a week-long hospitalization. (He’ll likely be okay, but his career will remain on a ventilator.)
➠ Vince McMahon of the WWE is 75 today. (He’ll celebrate with a flashy birthday cake that he and others close to him will claim is made with real chocolate, but everyone knows is fake…)
➠ I just read that more than half of Americans 65 or older now use the Internet.  (They decided to get online when they found out that it has every single episode of “Matlock”!)
➠ A heat wave is sweeping across California, while some experts point fingers at Global Warming. (If we’re not careful, climate change may transform California from a thriving bastion of hope and prosperity into some sort of hopeless wasteland of starvation and broken dreams…)
➠ A study claimed that nearly 40% of Americans think it’s safe to try to make contact with aliens. (Especially if you need some drywall work done…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Sleepy Monday:  https://tinyurl.com/yyel3vkm

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• What city is ‘Penny’ of “The Big Bang Theory” originally from?
a) Omaha, Nebraska [CORRECT]
b) Pasadena, California
c) Buffalo, New York
d) Toad Suck, Arkansas

• Action movie legend Chuck Norris starred in which television series?
a) T.J. Hooker
b) Walker, Texas Ranger [CORRECT]
c) The Walking Dead
d) The A-Team

• What hospital does the show “Grey’s Anatomy” take place in?
a) Seattle Grace Hospital [CORRECT]
b) Mercy Hospital
c) All Saints Hospital
d) Chicago Hope

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most embarrassing thing that you have witnessed happening or has happened to you?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If each day is a gift… I’d like to know where I can return Mondays.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  If they could, almost 1 in 4 women would change THIS about their mother.  What?
Answer:  Her hair

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart.