November 7, 2000 Edition: #1927
What should Celine Dion name her son that’s due on or about Valentine’s Day? Here’s some BS suggestions . . .
WHAT CELINE SHOULD CALL HER SON:
• ‘Neon’, as in ‘Neon Dion’.
• Name it after her husband – call him ‘Grandpa’.
• ‘King of the World’.
• ‘Touched By an Angelil’.
• ‘Richie Rich’.
• Name it after the real father — ‘Pyrex’.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Eminem’s book “Angry Blonde” hits bookstores, a collection of uncensored lyrics, personal commentary and photos (also available in a censored, one-page version) . . . Also new on the shelves — “The Sopranos: A Family History”, the official companion book to the hit TV series with mock FBI files and surveillance records, and a complete season-by-season episode guide (if only we could WATCH it!) . . . The holiday album “A Very Ally Christmas” hits record stores TODAY, featuring new “Ally McBeal” regular Robert Downey Jr dueting with Vonda Shepard on “White Christmas” (he knows all about snow) . . . “Charlie’s Angels” star/producer Drew Barrymore is now looking to produce a remake of the ‘67 sci-fi comedy “Barbarella”, but she won’t play the Jane Fonda character she says — maybe her granddaughter (meow!) . . . Jennifer Aniston has legally changed her name to Jennifer Joanne Pitt — she and Brad are the Pitts (well it’s better than ‘Mrs World’s Sexiest Man’).
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Tom Cruise & Thandie Newton lead the ‘IMF’ team against a deadly manufactured virus in the sequel thriller “Mission: Impossible 2″ . . . The animated sci-fi adventure “Titan AE” was a box office dud, even though voices are provided by Matt Damon and Drew Barrymore.
ACTORS WHO MISSED OUT ON BEING IN “CHARLIE’S ANGELS”:
• Thandie Newton, Jada Pinkett-Smith, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, all due to pregnancy.
• Angelina Jolie, who got married to Billy Bob Thornton instead.
• Marlon Brando, Donald Trump, and Farrah Fawcett, who all wanted to be the voice of ‘Charlie’ but weren’t selected.
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• A California man has filed a lawsuit after a ‘potency recovery center’ used a photo of him in newspaper ads without getting his permission. (Defense lawyers say it’ll never stand up in court.)
• Scientists are traveling to the South Atlantic to find whether or not penguins tip over backwards watching aircraft fly overhead. (Now there’s an important use for research money!)
• Researchers in Japan have discovered when an earthquake is imminent, clams urgently click their shells like those novelty chattering teeth. The clams are purportedly more accurate than the most sophisticated scientific equipment. (When you wake up to what sounds like flamenco music, run like hell!)
• A filthy rich Arab sheik has spent $950,000 on a diamond-studded tombstone — for his favorite camel. The elaborate monument is adorned with more than 100 diamonds, an eternal flame and ivory water fountain. (That’s a lotta bucks to commemorate your best hump.)
THE BULL SHEET 11.07.00
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1918 [82] (William Franklin) Billy Graham, Charlotte NC, evangelist who claims to have preached to more people in live audiences than anyone else in history — over 210 million in more than 185 countries and territories NOTE: Over the weekend in Jacksonville, he drew 156,000 in 3 appearances, 70,000 on Saturday when he appeared with Christian rock performers
1943 [57] Joni Mitchell (Roberta Anderson), Fort McLeod AB, Rock & Roll Hall of Fame pop/folk singer/songwriter (“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Both Sides Now”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[USA] General Election Day (yawn!)
TODAY is “PMS Stress Day”, founded in 1995. If you’ve got it, flaunt it. If not, get out of the way!
Celine Dion now has a new breed of rose named after her that she and her manager/hubby have endorsed. The orangy-red flower was created by JC Bakker & Sons Nurseries in St Catharines ON. For every rosebush sold, $1 will go to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.
PHONER: 905-935-4533 (Roseanne Mills)
ONE YEAR AGO . . .
1999 As ratings gimmick, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” returns to ABC-TV for 18 straight days
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1965 [35] 1st ad appearance of ‘Pillsbury Doughboy’ ([your co-host’s] role model until the ‘Michelin Man’ came along)
1982 [18] 1st pro QB to pass for 5,000 yds in one season (Warren Moon-Edmonton Eskimos) NOTE: He’s STILL playing at age 43 as back-up QB with NFL’s Kansas City Chiefs
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1975 [25] John Anderson of Los Angeles plays guitar non-stop for record 114 hours, 17 minutes
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Dunce Day
[Sat] Remembrance Day
Shallow Persons Awareness Week (and the poster boy is . . .?)
National Adoption Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS HIGH-LOW GAME:
• Snails can zoom along at 2 mph. High or low? (High. An average snail has a speed of .005 mph.)
• There are 10 bones in the human skull. (Low. There are actually 22.)
• Campbell’s ‘Alphabet Soup’ contains 3 times more ‘E’s than ‘Q’s. (High. Campbell’s says it contains an equal number of all letters of the alphabet — but then who’s gonna check?)
• When you sneeze, air travels from your nose at about 250 mph. (High. Sneezes travel at about 100 mph.)
BS PHONE STARTER:
“Who’s the hottest ‘Angel’?” (In a “Mr Showbiz” poll, 29.3% say Cameron Diaz, followed by Lucy Liu and original TV ‘Angel’, Jacqueline Smith.)
BS TAG LINE: I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
