Thursday, August 24, 2023 – Edition: #7540
Good Morning, Sheetheads!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Amber Heard will not face criminal charges in Australia. Prosecutors have dropped their case against her regarding a 2015 incident when she brought her 2 dogs into the country while visiting Johnny Depp, her husband at the time. She was accused of lying about how her Yorkshire terriers named Pistol and Boo — got into Australia, which has strict biosecurity regulations. Heard had pled guilty to providing false immigration documentation when the dogs were flown in on a private jet. The illegal import of dogs carries a potential 10-year prison sentence.
-Messenger
★ Britney Spears and Sam Asghari have split up — their dogs. The former couple have come to an agreement about how to divide up their 5 dogs amid their contentious divorce. The former personal trainer is reportedly now the sole owner of the couple’s Doberman, Porsha, which he bought as protection for Spears in October 2021. She, will get full-time custody of the other 4 dogs: an Australian Shepherd named Sawyer, a Yorkie named Hannah and 2 other smaller dogs.
-PageSix
★ Angelina Jolie is flipping the bird to someone. Her tattoo artist revealed the actress got a mystery tattoo on both of her middle fingers — and fans are having a field day guessing at what it could say. Mr. K, who works at the celebrity-loved Bang Bang shop in New York, shared a snap on Instagram of Jolie’s fingers with the fresh ink blurred out, to keep her new design hidden. He tagged Jolie, writing: “Still can’t believe that I actually grabbed her hand and tattooed her,” and asking followers to “Guess what she got on her palm?” The guesses started coming in hot, with references to her ex-Brad Pitt the most popular option.
-PageSix
★ Kim Kardashian is here to haunt your dreams, dolls. In the first teaser for “American Horror Story: Delicate part one”, the SKIMS mogul portrays one spooky mother. Set to ‘Rock-a-Bye, Baby’, the preview shows Kardashian cradling a baby bump before her stomach turns into a terrifying spider with long legs wrapping around her body. Meanwhile, co-star Emma Roberts is seen lying on her back in an exam room, screaming as she readies to give birth. The creepy video also flashes images of a pregnant belly, a lone cradle in a dark room, and Cara Delevingne holding a syringe. Part one of American Horror Story: Delicate premieres Sept. 20 on FX. LINK: https://youtu.be/CaVatUKWJ04
-E!
★ The upcoming “Frasier” revival series, starring Kelsey Grammer, has an official premiere date. The show will debut on Thursday, Oct. 12, on Paramount+. The revival series “follows Frasier Crane in the next chapter of his life as he returns to Boston with new challenges to face, new relationships to forge and an old dream or two to finally fulfill.” In addition to Grammer , Peri Gilpin returns as Crane’s former radio producer ‘Roz’, as well as Bebe Neuwirth, who played Crane’s ex-wife and colleague ‘Dr. Lilith Sternin’ on “Cheers”. Some first-look pics from the new series have also been released. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4x5kcrjb
★ I never thought I’d see the day, but Adam Sandler’s new Netflix movie “You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah”, has debuted with a 100% score on Rotten Tomatoes. Part of the actor/producer’s deal with the streaming giant, the coming-of-age comedy stars Sandler’s real-life daughter Sunny as ‘Stacy Friedman’, who dreams of having an epic bat mitzvah with her best friend Lydia. Things get sour when Stacy sees Lydia kissing her school crush, with middle-school drama ensuing. Critics are hailing the film as a fresh tale of friendship that has the potential to become iconic for younger audiences. Though the Rotten Tomatoes score may change as more reviews come in, at last check, it was at 100%.
-DigitalSpy
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): George Clooney, Snoop Dogg, Coldplay (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): David Spade, Quinta Brunson, Lucky Daye (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Dickerson, Mike Birbiglia (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Tracy Morgan, James Acaster (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dr. Phil McGraw (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Kate Hudson, Ashanti, Dave Bautista, Menudo
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Quinta Brunson, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Lisa Ann Walter (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Andrea Lavinthal (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Chrissy Metz, Nika King (R)
• “Miley Cyrus: Endless Summer Vacation: Continued (Backyard Sessions)” (ABC): In celebration of her new song ‘Used To Be Young’, she shares stories from her life; music from “Endless Summer Vacation.”
• “TMZ Investigates: Britney Spears: Divorce and Despair” (FOX): An updated look at Spears’ life as her marriage to Sam Asghari comes to an end.
• “Explorer: Lost in the Arctic” (NGC): An attempt to solve the mystery of 129 men who vanished in the Arctic.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Miley Cyrus – Add her to the list of artists being linked to next year’s Super Bowl halftime show. Hits Daily Double suggests Cyrus, Harry Styles, Bad Bunny, and Jack Harlow were all in the running to take the stage for the coveted slot, and later reported that Styles will not be involved. The publication also reported Taylor Swift has turned down the opportunity.
• Demi Lovato — has split with controversial music manager Scooter Braun (and Ariana Grande may have, as well). J Balvin left his agency in May, and there were rumors over the weekend that Justin Bieber planned to do the same, although he has denied them. Braun is also known for his feud with Taylor Swift, which followed his purchase of her former record label, Big Machine, in 2019
• Jung Kook – His hit ‘Seven’ featuring Latto, has notched a 5th week at #1 on both Billboard’s Global 200 and Billboard Global (except) US charts. A month ago, it became the first #1 on the lists for a member of BTS as a soloist.
• Rolling Stones – Fans are speculating a new album is coming after an ad appeared in British newspaper the Hackney Gazette. The ad is for Hackney Diamonds, which calls itself “specialists in glass repair”. The text says the company “promises you satisfaction. When you say gimme shelter we’ll fix your shattered windows.” And the company’s website can be traced back to Universal Music Group. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/45jjjjnw
• The Beatles – Oct. 13, Ringo Starr will release the “Rewind Forward” EP, the 4th in his ongoing series of EP releases. This one features 4 new songs, including ‘Feeling the Sunlight’, written by Paul McCartney, with whom he recently reunited on Dolly Parton’s version of ‘Let it Be’.
• Peter Gabriel – has debuted a new AI-generated video for ‘Panopticom (Dark-Side Mix)’, one of the songs from his upcoming album “i/o”. Gabriel is known for his groundbreaking use of music video, dating back to the 1980s. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ud9dkmv5
• Oliver Anthony – Controversy sells. His ‘Rich Men North of Richmond’ has entered the Billboard Hot 100 at #1, after setting off a national debate over its lyrics. He’s the first artist ever to launch atop the list with no prior chart history.
• Tim McGraw – The noted gym rat told an interviewer that his fav cheat meal is his “wife’s Southern cooking!” That usually consists of “peas, cornbread, collared greens, pork chops, fries and gravy.” He also admitted weaknesses for “Coca-Cola cake” and the cereal Cocoa Puffs. His “Standing Room Only” album drops tomorrow.
• Jessie James Decker — She and husband, former NFL wide receiver Eric Decker, are expecting their 4th child together. She shared the news in an Insta video, where she let her bump do the talking as she strolled onto a balcony, sipping a hot beverage, and gazing out over a sunny view of palm trees. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2ja459mn
SHOOTING THE BULL
KID STUFF:
❑ Handing your baby a phone or tablet to occupy them might seem like a harmless solution when you’re busy, but it could affect their development, says a new study. Having 1-4 hours of screen time per day at age 1 is linked with higher risks of delays in communication, fine motor, problem-solving and personal and social skills by age 2, according to a study of 7,100 children published in the journal JAMA Pediatrics. The researchers say the potential harms of screen time on communication skills may come from the fact that while they may hear a lot of words while viewing a screen, “they’re not practicing saying a lot of words or having a lot of that back-and-forth interaction.” (I guess my kids must have learned all those swear words somewhere else. Whooops!)
❑ A new study has found that playing a musical instrument as a child could have mental benefits later in life. Researchers at the University of Edinburgh determined that musicians do better on cognitive ability tests as adults aged 70-82 than those who never played an instrument. Why? The scientists aren’t sure, but it’s believed that the abilities it takes to play an instrument, such as reading sheet music and coordinating hand movements, can strengthen neural connections in the brain and overall brain function. (Everyone but you, drummers!)
-CNN, NYPost
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS?
Today is Waffle Day, and to celebrate, Eggo Waffles has introduced a new brunch-flavored liqueur. The waffle-maker partnered with Sugarlands Distilling on the new boozy concoction, called “Eggo Brunch in a Jar Appalachian Sippin’ Cream”. The taste is inspired by the “classic brunch flavors of toasted Eggo waffles, sweet maple syrup, and rich butter, with a hint of smoky bacon.” The drink contains 20% alcohol, so you won’t be serving it to your kids for breakfast, but the companies say it pairs quite nicely with Eggo waffles. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4v6uxdt7
(Mmmm. Sounds like it’d pair nicely with Sunday hangover too!)
(Why not? It’s gotta be cheaper than maple syrup!)
-NYPost
FRINGE BENEFITS:
Did you hear the one about the comedy festival award for best joke? If not, you’re about to. Over the weekend, the annual Edinburgh Fringe Festival was held, and the panel of judges have announced the funniest one-liner at this year’s event. Now, I don’t to oversell it, but the gag was singled out from 3,525 shows, which were held across 248 venues, to be bestowed the coveted “Funniest Joke of Fringe” award. After a panel of judges made a shortlist of the top 10 side splitters, over 2,000 people then voted on which joke was best. The “Zookeeper” joke, told by comedian Lorna Rose Treen, took an astounding 44% of the vote, so you know it’s gotta be good, right? Right???? Here it is: “I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.”
(Heard it. It turns out it’s the comedian who’s the cheetah!)
(We prefer the one-liner that came in 3rd: “Last year I had a great joke about inflation. But it’s hardly worth it now.” – Amos Gill)
-LADBible
FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM PARENTS:
⇒ My 5YO woke me up this morning to tell me she’s upset because her 1YO sibling woke her up. Is this the circle of life I keep hearing about? – My Life As Dad
⇒ Took my 8yo to the museum and she asked if every picture was the Mona Lisa then when we left she made sure to tell the people in line “don’t bother, this museum doesn’t even have the Mona Lisa”. – I Hide From My Kids
⇒ I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store, getting gas, and signing my kids up for fall sports. – One Awkward Mom
⇒ PTA room mom: We need some volunteers for the class par— Me: PLATES AND NAPKINS! – Julie Burton
⇒ I put the principal’s name down as the emergency contact on my kid’s back to school forms, since he can respond fastest without missing work – Real Life Mommy
⇒ The day my toddler started asking “what’s that?” was the day I realized how little I know about everything. – MumofTwo
⇒ My kid came home, poured some skittles into a wine glass, and flung himself onto the couch, so I guess he had a rough day. – meghan
⇒ Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made. – Marcy G
-HuffPost
DID YOU KNOW?
TikTok’s official catapult into e-commerce, the TikTok Shop, fully rolled out in the US this month. It lets TikTok users purchase anything under the ‘fashion’ or ‘life-hack’ sun, from the comfort of their “For You” Pages. The social media app is aiming to sell more than $20 billion in products through TikTok Shop by the end of the year. But here’s the thing: TikTok has been accused of boosting videos that sell products through the new feature, which are marked with an orange shopping cart icon. The pickle sweatshirt, for example, is suddenly all over people’s screens, despite having been around since January. Now it’s easier than ever to fall into the #tiktokmademebuyit trap. (Coming soon: The “As Seen On TikTok” store in your local mall?)
-Insider
BS CHRONOMETER 08.24.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Day Against Intolerance, Discrimination and Violence Based on Musical Preferences, Lifestyle and Dress Code”, dedicated to eradicating intolerance, discrimination, and violence against anyone who is part of a subculture that may look different, listen to different music, or have other hobbies than what is seen as the “norm”. LINK: https://www.sophielancasterfoundation.com/
• Perhaps it’s no coincidence that it is also “Strange Music Day”. The premise is simple: to get people to play and listen to types of music they have never experienced before. The ‘strange’ part can mean either unfamiliar or bizarre – the choice is entirely yours. (What “strange song” do you absolutely love?)
• “Peach Pie Day”, honoring the seasonal dessert made from flour, sugar, butter, and freshly-picked juicy peaches. Yummers! (Sunday was “Eat a Peach Day”. Good times if you like peaches!)
• “Waffle Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the invention of the ‘Waffle Iron’ by Cornelius Swartwout of Troy NY on this day in 1869. Other inventions attributed to today’s date include ‘Potato Chips’ (Chef George Crum, Saratoga Springs NY in 1853) and the ‘Motion Picture Camera’ (Thomas Edison in Menlo Park NJ, 1891).
• “Weather Complaint Day”, marking the date in 1897 when editor Charles Dudley Warner of the “Hartford Courant” published the quip, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” (What other weather clichés drive you bonkers?)
• “Knife Day”, celebrating the ancient tool that has survived as long as man has—evolving from stone and obsidian to carbon and stainless steels (Cutting-edge technology!).
• “Can Opener Day”, Peter Durand invented canned food in 1813, but the can opener wasn’t invented until almost 50 years later. How did people open canned food before the can opener? The instructions on an 1824 can of roast veal read, “Cut round on the top near to the outer edge with a chisel and hammer.” (***Here’s another method: https://tinyurl.com/pm6r9xd ***)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Banana Split Day
[Fri] Kiss and Make Up Day
[Sat] Make Your Own Luck Day
[Sun] Tarzan Day
This Week is…Health Unit Coordinators Week
This Month Is…Romance Awareness Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [78] Vince McMahon, Pinehurst NC, “retired” wrestling promotor-executive (CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment [formerly World Wrestling Federation] 1980-2022/former wrestler (as “Mr. McMahon”)
1958 [65] Steve Guttenberg, Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Police Academy” movies, “Three Men and a Baby”) COMING UP…”Way Down Bundy”
1960 [63] Cal Ripkin Jr., Havre De Grace MD, retired baseball pro (SS-3B with Baltimore Orioles 1981-2001)/MLB record for most consecutive games, with 2,632/19-time All-Star/2-time AL MVP/2 Gold Gloves/Baseball Hall of Fame 2007
1961 [62] Jared Harris, London England, TV actor (‘Lane Pryce’ on “Mad Men” 2009-12, “The Crown” 2016-17)
1965 [58] Marlee Matlin, Morton Grove IL, movie actress (the only deaf performer to win an Oscar [“Children of a Lesser God”])/TV actress (“The West Wing” 2000-06, “Switched at Birth” 2011-17) COMING UP…”Run”
1973 [50] Dave Chappelle, Washington DC, comedian/TV actor (“Chappelle’s Show” 2003-05)/movie actor (“Dave Chappelle’s Block Party”, “Half Baked”)
1976 [47] Alex O’Loughlin, Canberra Australia, TV actor (‘Steve McGarrett’ on “Hawaii Five-O” 2010-20)
1981 [42] Chad Michael Murray, Buffalo NY, TV actor (“One Tree Hill” 2003-12, “Sullivan’s Crossing” 2023)/movie actor (“Freaky Friday”, “Sun Records”) COMING UP…”Bad Men Must Bleed”
1988 [35] Rupert Grint, Essex England, movie actor (‘Ron Weasley’ in “Harry Potter” films)/TV actor “Servant” 2019-23)
ON THIS DAY . . .
2011 [12] Tim Cook becomes Apple CEO after Steve Jobs resigns due to health issues (Jobs dies that October at age 56 from pancreatic cancer)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [09] English actor Richard Attenborough (“Jurassic World”), director (“A Bridge Too Far”), and producer (“Gandhi”), dies in London at age 90
2018 [05] TV host Robin Leach (“Lifestyles of Rich & Famous”) dies at age 76
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2019 [04] Billie Eilish ends a 19-week run at #1 for ‘Old Town Road’ by Lil Nas X, when her hit ‘Bad Guy’ claims the top spot on the Hot 100
2021 [02] Rolling Stones drummer Charlie Watts dies at age 80
2021 [02] 30 years after appearing as a baby grasping for a dollar bill on Nirvana’s “Nevermind” album cover, Spencer Elden sues the band and others associated with the photo shoot, claiming it caused him “extreme and permanent emotional distress.”
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2006 [17] A meeting of 424 astronomers demotes the former planet Pluto to ‘dwarf planet status’ (it had been designated a planet since its discovery in 1930)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2012 [11] After his decision not to contest charges of doping, US cyclist Lance Armstrong learns he’ll be stripped of his record 7 Tour de France titles, and banned from racing for life
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The world’s shortest escalator, at a mall in Japan, has a vertical height of 2’8” (81cm). It has 5 steps and takes 8 seconds to ride.
✓ Wearing headphones for an hour can increase the bacteria in your ear by 700%.
✓ Only one out of every 3 people has 20/20 vision.
✓ The flashes of colored light you see when you rub your eyes are called “phosphenes.”
✓ Disney World is roughly the same size as San Francisco (43 square miles).
✓ There are more Lego minifigures than there are people on Earth.
-TheFactSite, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS NEWER STATE NICKNAMES:
• New Hampshire: 50% Better Than Old Hampshire
• Utah: The “I Now Pronounce You Man & Wives” State
• New York: The “Are You Talkin’ To Me?” State
• Tennessee: Fewer double consonants than Mississippi.
• Oregon: It’s A Riot!
• Wyoming? Why NOT oming!?
• Minnesota: We’re Not A Soft Drink
• New Jersey: We’ve Heard All the Jokes, So Save It
• Florida. State of Emergency
• Idaho: We’re Not Actually Hoes
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2020
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Images of L.A.’s Chavez Ravine underwater have gone viral. (It hasn’t been this brutal and battered at Dodger Stadium since Trevor Bauer was a starting pitcher…)
➠ Hurricane Hilary and a 5.1 magnitude earthquake, plus flooding and mudslides, have left parts of California without power. (On the bright side, they’re pretty sure the mud won’t catch fire…!)
➠ Hurricane Hilary was so windy that some west-coast gas stations have been forced to hire additional workers. (It now takes 2 to hold the step-stool while another raises the gas prices!)
➠ Hurricanes cause lots of hype for a few days then disappear forever. (As a result, from now on they’re going to be named after winners of “American Idol”!)
➠ Hurricane Hilary reached category 4 status, before eventually being downgraded to a Tropical Storm. (They wanted to name a hurricane after Chuck Norris once, but there’s no such thing as a Category 400 hurricane!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Ring a bell? (Sound up): https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMj1wUTDK/
BS RANDOM JOKE:
When someone tells you “It’s too early to be eating that”, the correct response is this: “Tell me – What time do stomachs open?”
BS PHONE STARTER:
What trend do you think is on its way out?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: On average, we end up throwing away a quarter of this product. What is it?
Answer: Bread
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
