BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“American Idol” judge Paula Abdul has finally revealed in “Ladies’ Home Journal“ that she had a 12-year addiction to prescription painkillers but finally went to rehab at the La Costa Resort last November to go through withdrawal (well, this explains a lot of incoherent babbling, doesn’t it?) . . . ABC-TV has launched the online ‘ABC Music Lounge’ that streams 200-plus recording acts whose songs have been heard on ABC programs such as “Grey’s Anatomy” & “Desperate Housewives” (NET: http://musiclounge.abc.go.com) . . . 69-year-old actor Martin Sheen, the former “West Wing” president (1999-2006), has revealed he turned down the chance to run for the real-life US Senate as a Democrat in Ohio in 2006 because he ‘couldn’t bear sitting in meetings all day’ (BS translation: Pretending to be a politician pays better) . . . 42-year-old “24“ star Kiefer Sutherland could be facing jail time if it’s found his alleged drunken head-butting incident earlier this week in NYC violated the terms of his 5-year probation agreement from his California DUI convictions . . . Lindsay Lohan’s Maserati sports car has taken another licking as a valet crashed it into a street sign as she was preparing to leave an LA restaurant this week (this is unbelievable – she still drives?) . . . And, despite numerous denials, “Us Weekly” is sticking by its story that TLC’s prolific family man Jon Gosselin (“Jon & Kate Plus 8”) is having an affair with a 23-year-old school teacher, posting pics & a video online (next season’s show may be re-titled “Kate & Her 8 Minus 1”).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Amazing Race” (CBS/CTV) – Sunday the 14th season finalé airs, when the final 3 teams find themselves racing neck-and-neck in their last task on the road to the million-dollar prize.
• “The Celebrity Apprentice 2” (NBC/E! Canada) – Sunday the 3-hour season finalé determines whether comedian Joan Rivers or poker player Annie Duke is crowned the ultimate apprentice. Former cast members Clint Black, Piers Morgan & Trace Adkins make guest appearances.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Tonight Diana Krall plugs her new album “Quiet Nights”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight rocker Scott Weiland (Stone Temple Pilots, ex-Velvet Revolver) is the musical guest.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Chris Cornell is onstage.
• MusiCares MAP Fund Gala – Tonight the 5th annual dinner/concert at LA’s Club Nokia raises money for musicians struggling with addictions. Among the performers: Punk icon Iggy Pop & Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood, no strangers to drug & alcohol abuse themselves. Red Hot Chili Peppers singer Anthony Kiedis receives the ‘Stevie Ray Vaughan Award’ for charitable endeavor. By the way, the event is alcohol-free.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning New Kids On the Block perform.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight folk/pop/country singer Jewel is on.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bob Dylan – “Together Through Life” has become his 5th #1 album on the “Billboard” chart since his recording career began in 1963.
• Michael Jackson – His publicist & personal general manager for the past 5 years, Raymone Bain, has filed a $44-million lawsuit claiming he hasn’t paid her for the many deals she’s made. Actress & former “Playboy” Playmate Ola Ray has also filed suit, claiming unpaid royalties she was allegedly promised from the 1983 video for “Thriller”.
• Nine Inch Nails/Jane’s Addiction – Tonight their North American tour kicks off in West Palm Beach FL … provided reunited Jane’s Addiction manages to hold it together long enough to take the stage.
• Queen – After years of wrangling councilors in the Greater London town of Feltham have finally agreed to install a memorial to the town’s most famous export, rock legend Freddie Mercury, who died in 1991.
• Reba McEntire – Saturday she returns to Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry stage where she hasn’t performed since before her TV sitcom “Reba” began in 2001. Her current single “Strange” is the fastest rising of her career.
• Toni Braxton – A woman who allegedly pretended to be the Grammy-winning Vegas entertainer at a concert in South America has been jailed in Suriname for impersonation.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Next Day Air” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): When a delivery man mistakenly leaves a package of cocaine at the wrong address, it sets into motion a battle of wills & wits among the dealer, the intended recipients, and the people who accidentally got the drugs and plan to sell them. Stars Mos Def, Mike Epps, Donald Faison, and Wood Harris (the former drug kingpin on “The Wire”).
NET: http://www.nextdayair-themovie.com
• “Star Trek” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Adventure ): “Lost” director JJ Abrams fresh take on the sci-fi series returns the 11th “Star Trek” movie back to the beginning, chronicling the early days of ‘Captain James T Kirk’ & the crew of the ‘USS Enterprise’. The cast includes Chris Pine as ‘Kirk’; Zachary Quinto as ‘Spock’; Karl Urban as ‘Bones’; Zoe Saldana as ‘Uhura’; Simon Pegg as ‘Scotty’; John Cho as ‘Sulu’; and Eric Bana as ‘Nero’. Original cast member Leonard Nimoy appears (as ‘Spock Prime’) in his first live-action film role since “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country” (1991). The film opens wide today after a screening last night in select theaters.
NET: http://www.startrekmovie.com

HARDEST WORKING MOMS IN SHOW BIZ:
A new ranking of star mothers based on estimated income over the past year …
5. Sarah Jessica Parker ($15 million).
4. Julia Roberts ($17 million).
3. Gwyneth Paltrow ($20 million).
2. Reese Witherspoon ($24 million).
1. Madonna ($110 million).
(Angelina Jolie only made $14 million … surprised?)
– “Forbes Magazine”

THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT:
Researchers at the California Institute of Technology claim to have discovered an ‘angel center’ in the human brain which holds back a ‘devil region’ from giving in to temptation. The good zone allows us to weigh positive considerations like healthiness against basic desires such as food cravings. The scientists hope to learn how to tweak the so-called ‘angel center’ in the brain’s prefrontal cortex in people with poor self-control. (According to old cartoons, the angel and devil centers are located on each shoulder.)
– “The Independent”

NATIVE NAMES:
Many North American placenames are derived from Native American words; some with truly intriguing meanings. For instance …
• Canada … ‘Settlement’ or ‘Village.’
• Chicago (IL) … ‘At the skunk place.’
• Coquitlam (BC) … ‘Small red salmon.’
• Malibu (CA) … ‘It makes a loud noise all the time over there.’
• Ontario (Canada) … ‘Beautiful sparkling water.’
• Topeka (KS) … ‘Good place to dig potatoes.’
• Winnipeg (MB) … ‘Dirty water.’
• Yosemite (CA) … ‘They are killers.’
But the place we really want to visit is …
• Loleta (CA) … ‘Let’s have intercourse.’
– “National Geographic” / Indian & Northern Affairs Canada
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ccmnus

FEMININE ANGST:
In the new book “Stop Wondering If You’ll Ever Meet Him”, LA-based life coach Ryan Cassaday & his psychologist-wife Jessica have identified a new syndrome they call ‘Modern Female Dating Anxiety’. They claim the condition commonly affects normally self-assured women who totally lose it when faced with the prospect of dating. That, they say, is a byproduct of text messaging, social networking & email, which create an illusion of intimacy that hasn’t really been formed when 2 people first get together in person. How do you know you’re suffering from ‘MFDA’? Check for symptoms like sweaty palms, shallow breathing, and obsessive behavior. (Likely a lot of guys would vouch that ‘MMDA’ exists as well.)
– AAP

DID YOU KNOW?
Some African tribes refer to themselves as ‘motherhoods’ instead of families.
– GreatFacts.com

BS CHRONOMETER 05.08.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [56] Alex Van Halen, Nijmegen, Netherlands, classic rock drummer (Van Halen-“Jump”, “Why Can’t This Be Love”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2007)/brother of guitarist Eddie Van Halen

1957 [52] Bill Cowher, Crafton PA, TV football analyst (“NFL Today on CBS”)/retired NFL coach (Pittsburgh Steelers 1992-2007)/Super Bowl XL winner (2006)

1972 [37] Darren Hayes, Brisbane, Australia, pop singer (ex-Savage Garden-“I Knew I Loved You”, “Truly Madly Deeply”)

1975 [34] Enrique Iglesias (Preysler), Madrid, Spain, pop/Latin singer (“Donde Estan Corazon?”, “Hero”)/son of crooner Julio Iglesias/sometime boyfriend of former tennis player Anna Kournikova

SATURDAY –
Pop singer Billy Joel (“Just the Way You Are”) is 60; Rock singer David Gahan (Depeche Mode) is 47; NHL great Steve Yzerman (Team Canada GM) is 44; Rock singer Pierre Bouvier (Simple Plan) is 30; Movie/TV actress Rosario Dawson (“Gemini Division”) is 30.

SUNDAY –
Sportscaster Chris Berman (ESPN/ABC) is 54; Rock singer Bono (U2) is 49; Rock drummer Danny Carey (Tool) is 48.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Child Care Provider Appreciation Day”, saluting the dedicated souls who interact with our children during the important formative years of their lives.
• “Flower Moon”, the Full Moon of May that derives its name from the fact that flowers are abundant in many areas at this time. It’s also known as ‘Full Corn Planting Moon’ or ‘Milk Moon’.
• “Military Spouse Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the Friday before “Mothers Day” to recognize the courage of those holding down the home front.
• “No Socks Day”, when we’re encouraged to avoid wearing socks to feel less encumbered and help the environment by creating less laundry. While washing your feet prior to participating in the festivities is a requirement, painting your toenails is completely optional.
• “World Red Cross Day”, celebrating the 1828 birth of International Red Cross Movement founder Jean Henri Dunant in Geneva, Switzerland.

SATURDAY –
• “Babysitters Day”, observed on the Saturday before “Mothers Day” to give sitters appreciation & special recognition for their quality child care. Good luck finding one … it’s Saturday night!
• “Birthmothers Day”, observed annually on the Saturday before “Mothers Day” and dedicated to those who, for one reason or another, have put a child up for adoption.
• “Lost Sock Memorial Day”, a day to remember those singular hose that went into the washing machine or dryer never to return. Where do they go?
• “Miniature Golf Day”, observed the 2nd Saturday of May to celebrate the frustrating game that involves putting balls through windmills and into clown mouths. Garnet Carter was the first to patent what he called ‘Tom Thumb Golf’ in 1927, an attraction at his hotel on Lookout Mountain, Tennessee. However, there were several non-patented earlier versions elsewhere.
• “Small Business Day”. A small business is defined as one with fewer than 100 employees. Many of today’s small businesses used to be big businesses.
• “Stay Up All Night Day”, an annual observance limited to people under 40 … who can actually do it.

SUNDAY –
• “Clean Up Your Room Day”. What, once a year? Were you born in a barn?
• “Mothers Day”, an annual salute to moms on the 2nd Sunday in May that’s now observed in some 60 countries, including Australia, Canada, El Salvador, Guatemala, Mexico, New Zealand, and the USA, where the modern version began. The earliest celebrations can be traced back to ancient Greece in honor of ‘Rhea, the Mother Of the Gods’. In the 17th century, England began celebrating “Mothering Sunday” on the 4th Sunday of Lent. Then in 1908 Anna Jarvis successfully lobbied for a memorial day for women which became “Mothers Day”. It was first celebrated in Grafton WV. Just 9 years afterward, Jarvis filed a lawsuit against organizers of a celebratory rally because she felt the occasion had become over-commercialized.
• “Trust Your Intuition Day”, a day to listen to your ‘gut feelings’ and act upon them. Is it true … are women better at this than men?

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1642 [367] Paul de Chomedy de Maisonneuve founds ‘Ville-Marie’ (Montréal)

1794 [215] US Post Office established (the next day a disgruntled worker ‘goes postal’ and offs his boss with a musket)

1886 [123] Atlanta pharmacist Dr John Pemberton introduces ‘Coca-Cola’, a cough syrup designed to relieve headaches  FACTOID: The original mixture called “Pemberton’s French Wine Coca” was little more than wine & cocaine, but when Georgia introduced prohibition laws, Pemberton removed the wine and added African kola nuts (which have a high caffeine content) for flavor. Nowadays there’s no more coke in Coke – he removed the blow in 1903.

1987 [22] Canada’s 1-dollar coin is introduced (‘looney’, ‘loonie’ or ‘loony’ … how do YOU spell it?)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Eat What You Want Day
[Tues] Limerick Day
[Tues] International Nurses Day
[Wed] Cannes Film Festival opens
[Wed] Third Shift Workers Day
[Wed] Receptionists Day
This Week Is … Flexible Work Arrangement Week
This Month Is … Hope Chest Month

BULL’S BITS

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Thanks to H1N1, Mexico’s Ministry of Health is advising residents to keep their distance from each other and cut down on hugging, kissing, even handshaking. CNN medical correspondent Dr Sanjay Gupta advocates ‘bumping elbows’ as a substitute. And here are a few other timely …
BS TIPS FOR AVOIDING SWINE FLU:
• Don’t share drinks with livestock.
• Disinfect your sty.
• Wash your hands before and after eating garbage and dead insects.
• Drink lots of fluids but not the stuff that’s been sitting in the trough for the past 2 weeks.
• Cover your snout when you cough.
– Thanks to Janice Chan.

MOTHERS DAY U-PICK QUIZ:
• What animal has been called ‘The Mother of All Fathers’, due to its care for its young?
a. Lion.
b. Penguin. [CORRECT. [Emperor penguin males starve for 4 months while they huddle to protect their eggs from Antarctica’s minus-40-degree winter temps.]
c. Beaver.

• What country is affectionately called ‘Mother’ by its citizens?
a. Russia. [CORRECT]
b. Scotland.
c. Burkina Faso.

BS PHONE STARTER:
How old were you when you went on your first diet … and what kind of diet was it? (According to a “Self” magazine poll, 33% of women dieted for the first time between the ages of 11-and-13.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
You can’t build a relationship on sex alone, but with two people …

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Each year, over 40,000 men are injured doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Housework.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.