Tuesday, September 16, 2008        Edition: #3858
Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
76-year-old novelist John Le Carre (“The Constant Gardener”) says in a new interview that he was tempted to defect to the Soviet Union back when he worked for Britain’s MI-6, but only because he was curious about what it was like on the other side of the ‘Iron Curtain’ (maybe “The Spy Who Came In From the Cold” wasn’t fiction, after all?) . . . “Dreamgirls” actress Jennifer Hudson is set to marry her BF, David Otunga (“I Love New York 2”), after he popped the question and produced a ring on her 27th birthday . . . If Jennifer Lopez skipped out on FRIDAY’s taping of the “Project Runway” finalé due to an ‘injured foot’, as claimed, how the heck did she manage to complete her first triathlon SUNDAY morning in Malibu CA? (just askin’) . . . “House” star Hugh Laurie has been re-upped for another season with a new salary – he’ll make $9 million NEXT YEAR (that’s still chump change to Charlie Sheen) . . . Wealthy divorceé Heather Mills was reportedly all set to make a future guest appearance on “Desperate Housewives” in a cameo until star Eva Longoria Parker demanded she be dumped (atta girl!) . . . And actress Lindsay Lohan remains coy about her relationship with Samantha Ronson, but her rep has made it clear the heart-shaped ring she’s wearing on her left hand has nothing to do with an engagement, it’s just antique she found in vintage store (isn’t it nice we’re now doing time-lapse coverage of her life … ohmygod, she breathed again!).     

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Faith Hill – She releases her 1st holiday season album, “Joy to the World”. (Wow, Christmas seems to come earlier and earlier every year.)
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Buckcherry (“Sorry”) is onstage.
• “Late Late Show With “Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Country group Lady Antebellum in on.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Country star Phil Vassar (“I Would”) performs.
• “Later … With Jools Holland” (BBC) – Tradition has it this UK talk show’s guests jam together after the opening credits. If that happens TONIGHT, the odd mash-up will include Carla Bruni, France’s first lady who recently released her 3rd pop album; Paul McCartney; and Metallica, who’ve just released their 9th album, “Death Magnetic”.
• Lynne Spears – The show biz mom’s much-discussed memoir is finally published under the unwieldy title, “Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World”.
• “90210” (CW) – ‘Annie’ & ‘Ethan’ go on a date. (Well, that certainly didn’t take long!)
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Rapper Nelly (“Grillz”) is the musical guest.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – She says it’s not her fault super-producer Swizz Beatz is splitting with his wife. Even though she & Swizz have been spotted out together looking cozy, she insists she’s ‘not in any way linked to his decision to separate’. (BS translation: She’s doin’ him.)
• The Beatles – Paul McCartney is furious over a report claiming late bandmate John Lennon wanted a gay relationship with him. That’s what author Phillip Norman says in the new biography, “John Lennon: The Life”.
• Britney Spears – It’s been confirmed her new album will be titled “Circus” (appropriately) and will be released in DECEMBER.
• Celine Dion – Her 67-page rider for LAST NIGHT’s concert at NYC’s Madison Square Garden reportedly demanded: French cherries; Bavarian figs; a dentist on-call; and 11 bodyguards onstage at all times … at least 8 on chairs able to swivel 30 degrees.
• Jane’s Addiction – Former frontman Perry Farrell & guitarist Dave Navarro wowed the crowd at a recent party for fashion designer John Varvatos with an impromptu performance of their hit single “Pigs In Zen”. That’s sparked speculation the band may reunite by the end of the year.
• Kylie Minogue – Her million-dollar payday to perform at the official opening of a resort in Dubai just got bigger. Reports now say she may make as much as $4 million for that invitation-only gig plus a concert for fans near a shopping mall. The shows are scheduled for NOVEMBER.

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 79% of Digital Video Recorder owners say the technology has improved their relationship with their partner.
• 76% of women make their bed every day.
• 75% of moms say they’d like to know everyone their children are text-messaging.
• 67% of married women say they’d like to know everyone their husband is contacting by email.
• 48% of us say we consider ourselves to be ‘honest people’.
• 20% of doctors, nurses, and medical workers believe that divine intervention can reverse a terminal illness.

BODY OF WORK:
A Swiss man has sold an elaborate Virgin Mary tattoo on his back to a German collector, with the understanding that it can be exhibited 3 times a year, according to a Zurich gallery. The transaction, which gallery owner Jutta Nexdorf claims is the first of its kind, fetched $225,000. The other main stipulation is that the 35-hour work can be removed from the bearer’s skin upon death and handed over to its new owner. The purchaser will also be allowed to sell the tattoo. Proceeds from the sale are being shared by the gallery, tattoo bearer Tim Steiner, and Wim Delvoye, the Belgian artist who created the work.
– Agence France-Presse

EASY SLIMMING FOR AUTUMN:
Simple changes to help get the scale moving in the right direction … down!
• Eat only when you hear your stomach growling, never out of boredom, nervousness or habit.
• Pare down your portions.
• Serve dinner ‘restaurant style’ (already plated) instead of ‘family style’ (bowls & platters).
• Use vegetables to bulk up meals.
• Use hot sauce, spices, and Cajun seasoning instead of butter and creamy or sugary sauces.
• Eat slowly. Stop when you’re almost full … about 80%.
• Close down the kitchen after dinner. Wash dishes, wipe counters, and turn out the lights.
• Brush your teeth immediately after eating as a cue to your brain that mealtime is over.
• Make at least one social event this week a physically active one.
– “Reader’s Digest”

ITALIAN BUTCHERY:
Italy’s Dante Alighieri Society, the country’s cultural guardian, wants the infiltration of English words and phrases into the language to stop. As part of the effort to curb what’s known as ‘Anglitaliano’, it’s asked visitors to its website to nominate the ‘ugliest’ English words. Among the least favorite imports invading Italian are: ‘weekend’, ‘welfare’ and ‘OK’, followed by ‘briefing’, ‘mission’, ‘know how’, ’shampoo’ and ‘cool’. Some English terms become comically mangled into another meaning. For example, ‘baby parking’ to an Italian is … a daycare center.
– “Telegraph”

THE ECONOMY OF EATING OUT:
In NYC, restaurateurs, like airlines, are now overbooking reservations because they can’t afford to lose revenue on no-shows in today’s slumping economy. An industry observer says to also expect the restaurant industry in general to begin offering more special deals, such as happy-hour snacks and late-night nibbles for less. There are also likely to be more Sunday promotions and lunchtime bargains. And there’s this bit of advice: If you really want to be sure of your favorite reservation time, ask for it with a French, Spanish or Italian accent. It will brand you as a potentially bigger spender, the kind who help restaurants outlast a shaky economy.
– “NY Times”

UNETHICAL WAYS TO SAVE MONEY:
These ideas aren’t totally illegal, they just skate the edges of morality …
• Return Used Items: Buy a fancy dress or other outfit for a special occasion and then return it the next day.
• Condiment Hoarding: At the local fast food joint, little packets of ketchup, mustard, salad dressing, salt & paper, and utensils are laid out like a feast for the naughty frugal person.
• Stamp Steaming: Re-use stamps that have mistakenly not been canceled by carefully applying steam and peeling them off envelopes.
• Complain About Products: When you complain to a company about a product, they often try to make things right by giving you free samples, coupons, or replacing the product.
And what’s your secret method of being a cheapskate?
– Gomestic.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• You are average if you eat 50 bananas a year, goof off 45 minutes a day at work, and owe more than $5,000.
• We eat 1-and-a-half to 2 times as many potatoes when they’re mashed rather than baked. (And about 10 times more when they’re fried.)
– “What Are the Odds?”

BS AMAZING FACT:
According to Nielsen Research’s 2008-09 estimates, the 55-plus age bracket is by far the fastest-growing TV audience demo, accelerating at twice the rate of the overall TV audience.
– “Globe & Mail”

BS CHRONOMETER 09.16.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [83] (Riley) BB King, Itta Bena MS, blues legend (“The Thrill is Gone”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1987)

1956 [52] Mickey Rourke, Schenectady NY, movie actor (“The Wrestler”, “Sin City”)  COMING UP: “Sin City 2” (2010)

1963 [45] Richard Marx, Chicago IL, pop singer/songwriter (“Now & Forever”, “Right Here Waiting”)

1968 [40] Marc Anthony (Marco Antonio Muniz), NYC, pop singer (“I Need to Know”)/Mr J-Lo since 2004

1971 [37] Amy Poehler, Burlington MA, movie actress (“Baby Mama”)/TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 2001-08)

1981 [27] Alexis Bledel, Houston TX, movie actress (“The Sisterhood Of the Traveling Pants 1 & 2“)/TV actress (“Gilmore Girls” 2000-07)

1992 [16] Nick Jonas, Dallas TX, teen idol (“Camp Rock”)/pop singer (Jonas Bros-“Burnin’ Up”)/younger sibling of Kevin & Joe  FACTOID: The 3 sibs reportedly have a secret handshake, which is really cool … if you’re 9.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Collect Rocks Day”, a celebration of the hobby of gem & mineral collecting.

• “Independence Day” in Mexico (“El Grito de Independencia”), celebrating the country’s separation from Spain in 1810.

• “International Day for Preservation of the Ozone Layer”, as declared by the UN.

• “Stepfamily Day, celebrated annually on SEPTEMBER 16th. It’s estimated that 1-in-3 of us is in a stepfamily at some point. Some call these families, ‘blended’ families.

• “Working Parents Day”. Isn’t parenting work in itself?

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1979 [29] 1st ‘Rap Record’ is released (Sugar Hill Gang-“Rapper’s Delight”)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1908 [100] Flint MI businessman William Crapo Durant founds ‘General Motors’

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [14] ‘World’s Largest Burrito’ is made in Montebello CA, measuring 3,055-ft-long & weighing 3,960-lb

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Women’s Friendship Day
[Thurs] Play-Doh Day
[Fri] Talk Like a Pirate Day
[Sat] 23rd Farm Aid (Mansfield MA)
[Sun] 60th Primetime Emmy Awards (ABC)
This Week Is … Prostate Cancer Awareness Week
This Month Is … Organic Harvest Month

BULL’S BITS
BS CHRISTIAN PICK-UP LINES:
• “Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives. He never met you.”
• “Is this pew taken?”
• “I just don’t feel called to celibacy.”
• “You float my ark.”
• “I didn’t believe in predestination until tonight.”
• “My parents are home, wanna come over?”
• “Is that a thinline, duo-tone, compact, ESV travel Bible in your pocket?”
• “It’s a sin to look as good as you.”
• “How many times do I have to walk around you before you fall for me?”
• “The name is Will. God’s Will.”
– SaltnPepper.com

BS ‘BEAT THE TOASTER’:
Here’s a quickie contest that takes just 60 seconds to play. Before the toaster pops in 10 seconds [SFX], name …
• 3 toppings you put on an ice cream sundae.
• 3 ways to get a good workout.
• 3 famous people that are truly ‘hot’.
• 3 things you do on the weekend that you don’t do during the week.
• 3 cities that are famous for tourism.
• 3 tricks you can teach a dog.

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could change one physical characteristic of your mate, what would it be?

BS PROMOTIONS:
A couple of off-the-wall ideas that just might be adapted to work for your station …
• In NYC, Brit rock band Oasis has turned to buskers to promote their new album after being forced to cancel a concert. Street serenaders in various locations will perform 4 tracks from the new album, “Dig Your Own Soul”, which will be filmed for other uses afterward. Hiring buskers to spread your message is certainly a unique idea, not to mention cheap!
• In Sydney & Melbourne, the northeastern Australian state of Queensland has hired ‘flashers’ to promote it as a vacation destination. Even in winter, the weather’s warm enough to enjoy Queensland’s beaches. Some 24 exhibitionists have been deployed throughout high traffic areas in the country’s top 2 markets, opening their raincoats to flash signs about Queensland. The (free) media coverage of the stunt has no doubt had even more impact.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interest he takes in her.

WHO SAID IT?
“I wish my parents had spent more time worrying about my education than me being a star.”
a. George Clooney
b. Shania Twain [CORRECT]
c. Jessica Simpson

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The older you are, the less chance you do THIS … if you ever did.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Talk in your sleep.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Anyone who is popular is bound to be disliked.