Friday, December 14, 2007        Edition: #3677
Don’t Forget to Renew Your Subscription or You’ll Be Sheet Outta Luck!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
26-year-old French fashion model Alexandra Paressant is claiming she slipped NBA star Tony Parker her phone number at his JULY wedding to actress Eva Longoria and ended up having a 2-month affair behind the newlywed “Desperate Housewife’s” back . . . Parker & Longoria are flatly denying the story – him saying “I love my wife”; her saying he’s the “perfect husband” (so it must be true then!) . . . British film “Atonement” leads the nominations for the 2008 “Golden Globe Awards“ (JANUARY 13th) after being tagged in 7 categories . . . However, many of the movie & TV stars nominated YESTERDAY are threatening to boycott the event if the writers’ strike is still on . . . Miley Cyrus is extending her “Hannah Montana Tour” by adding 14 more shows in JANUARY (what’s the old saying – make hay while the overpriced tix sell?) . . . 51-year-old “CSI: Miami” star David Caruso has reportedly dumped his long-term girlfriend while she was pregnant with their 2nd child, walking out on 37-year-old Lisa Marquez in order to date an unnamed nightclub exec (gee, he always seemed like such a nice guy – not) . . . THIS MONTH 55-year-old David Hasselhoff has already checked himself into LA’s Cedars Sinai Medical Center suffering from alcohol poisoning twice within a 3-day period, making a total of 4 dry-outs in 2 months (he’s been pickled more than Strub’s) . . . 20-year-old pseudo-singer/actress Hilary Duff is so determined to impress her NHL player-boyfriend Mike Comrie (New York Islanders), she’s reading a book called “Hockey for Dummies” (she picked well) . . . And on-set feuding between actors  Vince Vaughn & Reese Witherspoon is threatening to disrupt filming on their now-shooting romantic comedy “Four Christmases”, scheduled for release a year from now (he’s reportedly a laid-back ad-libber while she’s a super-efficient, one-take perfectionist – just watch, next they’ll be getting married).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alan Jackson – He appears in the latest White House online video “Barney Cam VI: Holiday in the National Parks”, which features the Bush family’s Scottish terrier, ‘Barney’.
• Bon Jovi – A fan has launched a $14-million compensation claim after he was paralyzed at a concert in Edmonton. Dennis Schulz suffered a dislocated spinal cord when crushed by rowdies caught up in a brawl. He’s filed suit against 4 fans, security staff, the promoters, and the venue … but not the band.
• The Eagles – They’ve become the only artist in music history to score a #1 album more than 35 years after releasing their debut record. “Long Road Out of Eden” has just been certified triple-platinum by the RIAA.
• 50 Cent – He says file sharing isn’t a bad thing for artists and urges the music industry to maximize its income from concerts and merchandise instead of worrying about downloads.
• The Jackson 5 – They’ll perform a comeback concert at a New Year’s Eve party hosted by Jermaine Dupri, according to the hip-hop mogul himself. They’re reportedly planning to embark on a reunion tour in 2008, complete with Michael Jackson.
• Josh Groban – His holiday recording, “Noel”, has claimed a 3rd week at #1 on album charts. That ties him with the “Elvis’ Christmas Album” that topped the charts for 3 weeks in 1957.
• Rosanne Cash – Johnny Cash’s 52-year-old Grammy-winning daughter has undergone successful brain surgery to correct a benign condition and is expected to make a complete recovery. Her rep says she’s now resting comfortably at her New York home.
• Switchfoot – Frontman Jon Foreman is returning to his indie roots by releasing 4 solo EPs over the coming months, individually titled “Fall”, “Winter”, “Spring”, and “Summer”.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Celine Dion – SATURDAY is the last performance of the 5th and final year of her Las Vegas show “A New Day”. She’ll return in JANUARY to the Colosseum, the $95-million theater built for her production at Caesar’s Palace, to tape a one-off special for TV and DVD.
• “Desperately Seeking Susan” – SATURDAY it closes in London, just a month after its opening night. Seems the world’s just not ready for a stage production of a Madonna movie with Blondie songs. Critics hated it and audiences stayed away.
• Gary Allan – His “Greatest Hits” album has just been certified gold for sales of 500,000 copies. SUNDAY he concludes his tour with Keith Urban at the John Labatt Centre in London ON.
• Justin Timberlake – He hosts a rerun of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC).
• Linkin Park – Their eBay charity auction to provide aid for the survivors of the recent cyclone in Bangladesh wraps up TODAY. It’s the 3rd online auction staged by the band’s charitable organization Music For Relief.
• Michael Bolton – THIS MORNING he’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• R Kelly – Activists are promising to protest his concert in Los Angeles TONIGHT over his decision to tour while awaiting trial on 14 offences involving children. The oft-postponed trial is now expected to get underway NEXT YEAR.
• Sara Evans – THIS MORNING she co-hosts “The View” (ABC/CTV), filling in for Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who is on maternity leave.
• Spice Girls – Emma Bunton says an ankle injury won’t stop her from taking the stage for the group’s first of a series of UK concerts SATURDAY at London’s O2 Arena. She suffered the sprain after falling onstage at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas TUESDAY.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Alvin & the Chipmunks” ( PG Family Comedy ): ‘Alvin, Simon & Theodore’ are back in director Tim Hill’s computer-animation/live-action hybrid that follows further adventures of the trio of singing rodents. Jason Lee co-stars as their mentor/manager/master, Dave Seville.
NET: http://www.alvinandthechipmunksmovie.com/
• “I Am Legend” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Will Smith plays the last healthy man on Earth after a biological attack has caused everyone else to become zombies. By day, he hunts the undead who walk the streets; by night, he barricades himself in his home against the mob gathered outside.
NET: http://iamlegend.warnerbros.com/
• “The Kite Runner” ( Limited Release Drama ): The bigscreen adaptation of Khaled Hosseini’s bestselling 2003 novel about childhood betrayal and ethnic tension in Afghanistan was delayed 6 weeks in order to get its 4 schoolboy stars, aged 11-to-14, out of Kabul due to fears for their safety. The story follows an American emigre who returns to his homeland to help the son of his boyhood friend.
NET: http://www.kiterunnermovie.com/

PLANT A SEED BEFORE YOU PLANT YOUR SEED:
Couples in Indonesia’s Sragen district who want to get married must now contribute to the planting of 5 tree seedlings. The engaged couple must either hand over seedlings or donate money to buy some to whomever officiates at their marriage. The seedlings, of hardwood trees such as teak or mahogany, are then forwarded to the government to be planted. Getting out of marriage costs even more … couples who divorce must donate 25 seedlings. (Every time a marriage splits, a mahogany gets its leaves … it’s a wonderful life.)
– Agence France-Presse

SCIENTISTS SAY:
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … sleep is a better remedy for tiredness than coffee. This startling conclusion comes from a French study published in the journal “Sleep”. (The crack research team is now attempting to determine whether breathing air is preferable to water.)
• Scientists say … men have a rosier view of marriage than women according to Yale University research. Men have a more positive perspective on just about every aspect of their marriage including finances, communication, and lovemaking. (“3 minutes … that’s pretty good, isn’t it?”)
• Scientists say … the date when we are born really can affect our lives. For instance, in the Northern Hemisphere, women born in MAY display more impulsive behavior, while those born in NOVEMBER are more reflective. Men born in Spring tend to show greater persistence than those born in Winter. All people born in Autumn tend to be more physically active, while those born in Spring tend to be more cerebral. (After 3 millennia, science has discovered astrology!)
• Scientists say … rats are capable of laughter. In experiments, they’ve been observed making ultrasonic noises during positive social interaction. Researchers say they can even make rats laugh by tickling them on the nape of the neck, an area where rats themselves target playful activities. (And in larger labs, ‘stand-up rats’ have been observed making an entire audience of vermin burst into high-frequency titters.)

HOME IS WHERE YOUR HOMIES ARE:
Increasingly, young adults seem to be spending traditional family holidays with friends rather than relatives. People in their 20s appear to be blurring the distinction between family bonding and friendship. Why? One reason may be more time spent in singlehood. It’s now common for both men and women to spend more than 15 years of their adulthood unmarried, whereas a few decades ago, spending more than 5 years out of the family home unmarried was rare. (Another reason is … your best friend would never knit you a crappy cardigan as a gift.)
– “Christian Science Monitor”

THE SCIENCE OF SANTA:
Clever engineers at an engineering consulting firm in Sweden have once again taken on the legend of Santa Claus with their calculators. Santa can’t possibly exist, they claim, because in order to reach all of the world’s 2.5 billion children he would have to travel at a speed of about 5,800 km per second (3,600 mps) and spend only 34 microseconds at each home. A related report suggests that traveling at such supersonic speeds would cause Santa’s sleigh to burst into flames and be vaporized within 4.26-thousandths of a second. (Thanks to Scrooge & Company for those updated figures.)
– “Curious Times”

CHRISTMAS AT THE KENNEL:
The holidays are the busiest season for the kennel industry as pet owners spend millions to have their animals looked after while they travel to visit family. Dogs are the most common kennel clients, likely because they can’t be left alone for a few days like cats. A few features you might look for when shopping for a kennel …
• Smoke detectors, fire alarms, and sprinkler systems.
• A small pet-to-staff ratio.
• Webcams, so owners can check on their pets every day.
• Rubber mats, serving as a gentler surface for pooches with joint problems.
And high-end ‘pet retreats’ may even offer …
• Flat-screen TV sets, movie nights, and nature walks.
• Fleece blankets, cots, and classical music.
• Nighttime tuck-ins and … bedtime stories.
– “Denver Post“

BS AMAZING FACT:
Globally, the illegal drug market is bigger than the oil market.
– “Sex, Drugs & Economics”

BS CHRONOMETER 12.14.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [58] Cliff Williams, Rumford UK, rock bassst (AC/DC-“You Shook Me All Night Long”, “Moneytalks”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1988 [19] Vanessa Hudgens, Salinas CA, movie actress (‘Gabriella Montez’ in “High School Musical” 1-2, “Thirteen”)/amateur risque photo model  COMING UP: “High School Musical 3” (2008).

SATURDAY –
Movie/TV comedian Tim Conway (“Carol Burnett Show”) is 74; Oldies singer Cindy Birdsong (The Supremes) is 68; TV actor Don Johnson (“Miami Vice”) is 58; Classic rock bassist Paul Simonon (The Clash) is 52; Movie/TV actor Adam Brody (“The OC”) is 28.

SUNDAY –
TV correspondent Lesley Stahl (“60 Minutes”) is 66; Oldies singer Benny Andersson (ABBA) is 61; Classic rocker Billy Gibbons (ZZ Top) is 58; Movie actor Benjamin Bratt (“Miss Congeniality”) is 44; Country singer Jeff Carson (“Not On Your Love”) is 44; Oldies singer Michael McCary (Boyz II Men) is 36.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bouillabaisse Day”, a day to throw some shellfish in a pot with some finely-chopped onion, celery & tomato, a little white wine, a little more white wine, and – BAM!! – a whole mess of garlic. Nummers, instant heaven!
• “Geminid Meteor Shower”, which NASA’s Meteoroid Environment Office calls the ‘best meteor show of the year’, peaks before sunrise THIS MORNING when those who live in dark, rural areas may be able to see dozens of bright meteors per hour streaking across the sky.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/2dhtss
• “International Shareware Day”, either something to do with public domain software or wearing your wife’s jeans.

SATURDAY –
• “Firefighters Day”, honoring those who risk their lives to save people from infernos.
• “Halcyon Days” begin, the 7 days before and the 7 days after the Winter Solstice that are traditionally thought to be a time of ‘calm and tranquillity’. Uh, maybe at your house.
• “US Bill of Rights Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the signing of the US Bill of Rights (1791) and its incorporation into the US Constitution.
NET: http://www.billofrights.org

SUNDAY –
• “Chocolate Covered Anything Day”, so fill up the tub and invite that special someone over!
• “Eat What You Want Day”, a day to actually enjoy what you eat without worrying about quotas and content. Go ahead chubby, have another mug of gravy!
• “Las Posadas” begins, the traditional 9-day Mexican Christmas celebration that includes breaking open a pinata. Similarly, “Simbang Gabi” or “Christmas Observance” in the Philippines runs through January 6th, said to be the world’s longest Christmas celebration.
NET: http://www3.kumc.edu/diversity/ethnic_relig/laspsds.html

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1977 [30] “Saturday Night Fever” premieres, starring John Travolta (Bee Gees generate several hits from the soundtrack)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1984 [23] “Like a Virgin” becomes Madonna’s first #1 hit

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1947 [60] National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) is created

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Maple Syrup Day
[Mon] Clean Air Day
[Mon] Wright Brothers Day
[Tues] Bake Cookies Day
[Tues] International Migrants Day
[Thurs] International Human Solidarity Day
This Week Is … Civil Rights Week
This Month Is … International Calendar Awareness Month (Look! Over there on the wall!)

BULL’S BITS

WHAT WOMEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• ‘28 Easy-to-Make Christmas Crafts’ (“Woman’s Day”)
• ‘Holiday Hair!’ (“Redbook”)
• ‘Exactly What to Eat to Lose Weight’ (“Glamour”)
• ‘A Vegetarian Holiday’ (“Ladies’ Home Journal”)
• ‘The Face-to-Face Fandango’ (“Cosmopolitan”)

WHAT MEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• ‘A Guide to Her Legs’ (“Men’s Fitness”)
• ‘Pregnancy Just Makes These 9 Ladies Hotter!” (“Maxim”)
• ‘How She Interprets Your Gifts’ (AskMen.com)
• ‘Boob Tube: The Breast Commercials in the World’ (“FHM”)
• ‘The 10 Best Things to Tell a Naked Woman’ (“Men’s Health”)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Workaholics need the overtime to cover marriage counseling.

BS TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. One Republic – “Apologize”
4. Fergie – “Clumsy”
3. Flo Rida f/T-Pain – “Low”
2. Soulja Boy – “Crank Dat Soulja Boy”
1. Alicia Keys – “No One”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS is the #1 thing most people feel they would fail at.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Getting in shape.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When you’re rich, it’s ‘eccentric’; when you’re poor, it’s just ‘strange’.