Monday, March 7, 2011        Edition: #4456
There’s No BS Like Show BS …

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Today imprisoned music producer Phil Spector will not be allowed to attend court as his bid to recoup $1 million in legal fees from high profile attorney Robert Shapiro goes before a jury. Spector is serving 19 years for the fatal shooting of actress Lana Clarkson. He’s contending that Shapiro, whom he hired as his first legal counsel after the shooting, should refund the fees because he mishandled the case. (Shapiro also cashed in bigtime on OJ Simpson.)
– ContactMusic.com
• Tonight “Entertainment Tonight” will broadcast the jewelry store surveillance tape that could make-or-break in the felony theft case against Lindsay Lohan. That’s because “ET” has licensed rights to the video from a company that bought the security video … from the store itself! The development could complicate the court case which resumes March 10th, and is causing turmoil in both the prosecution and defense camps as neither side sanctioned the sale. (Another example of Hollywood justice.)
– RadarOnline.com
• The debut of Charlie Sheen’s online show “Sheen’s Korner” drew more than 100,000 Internet viewers Saturday night. Wearing a hat & T-shirt, Sheen hosted what looked like a local-access cable show with the help of 3 cohorts. During one segment, he listed people he’d like to be for 10 minutes: Colin Farrell, San Francisco Giants pitcher Brian Wilson, and Sean Penn ‘when fists were making contact with those loser faces’. Sheen says the show may return on a daily basis, depending on reaction. (Between this, Twitter feeds, and T-shirts, the guy’s still making money!)
– HollywoodReporter.com
• Country singer/dancer Julianne Hough has been signed to star in the upcoming movie adaptation of the Broadway musical “Rock of Ages”, playing small-town girl ‘Sherrie’ who arrives in 1980s Hollywood looking for a shot in the music biz. The cast also includes Tom Cruise and Mary J Blige, while Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand are said to be interested but as yet unsigned. (What do you bet Ryan Seacrest helped negotiate this one for his girlfriend?)
– CountryStandardTime.com
• Film director Guy Ritchie is reportedly set to be a dad again as girlfriend Jacqui Ainsley is pregnant. The “Sherlock Holmes” moviemaker, who split from Madonna in 2008, started dating the model early last year. They’re expected to welcome the new addition in September. (Just in time to ramp up interest in the sequel “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”.)
– “News Of the World”
• And 44-year-old actress Halle Berry was a winner at the 42nd “NAACP Image Awards” on Friday night, picking up the ‘Best Actress In a Motion Picture’ award for her role in “Frankie & Alice”. (Huh? The film was made in 2008-09, opened on just 1 screen in North America, and grossed a whopping total of $7,768. We smell a fix!)
– StarPulse.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Bachelor” (ABC) – Season 15’s most-memorable bachelorettes return to confront one another and Brad.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Travis Barker (Blink 182).
• “Great Performances” (PBS) – Billy Joel performs at NYC’s Shea Stadium with special guests Garth Brooks, Paul McCartney, and Tony Bennett.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Adele (“21”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Jimmy Eat World (“Invented”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Ricky Martin (“Musica + Alma + Sexo”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – The Script (“Science & Faith”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Steel Train (“Steel Train”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (“Grace Potter & The Nocturnals”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – With “21” she had the biggest first-week sales in the US since Kanye West in October. She’s also currently #1 and #2 on the UK album chart. The last time that happened was in 1999, for The Corrs.
• Britney Spears – The Ke$ha-penned track “Till The World Ends” from her upcoming album “Femme Fatale” has been ‘rush-released’ as a single after it was ‘leaked’ online. The album’s due March 29th.
• Elton John – Director Cameron Crowe’s new documentary, “The Union”, chronicling the collaboration between Elton & Leon Russell, will open NYC’s annual “Tribeca Film Festival” on April 20th.
• Jason Aldean w/Kelly Clarkson – Their “Don’t You Wanna Stay” tops the “Billboard” country songs chart after a steady 17-week rise.
• Lady Gaga – Her lawyers have sent a letter to London ice cream parlor The Icecreamists threatening a lawsuit if it doesn’t change the name of its infamous new human breast milk flavor ‘Baby Gaga’. (Uh, weren’t babies saying ‘gaga’ long before the Lady?)
• Nine Inch Nails – Oscar-winner Trent Reznor (“The Social Network”) is in talks to score “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” as well as do a cameo in the offbeat film. He’s currently working on the score for David Fincher’s upcoming adaptation of “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”.
• Soul Asylum – They’re planning to release their first new studio album since 2006. Frontman Dave Pirner tells “Rolling Stone” magazine it should be out within the next 6 months.

ALL-TIME TOP-GROSSING DOCUMENTARY FILMS:
Based on worldwide box office, rounded off to the closest million …
3. “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never” … $71 million.
2. “March Of the Penguins” … $127 million.
1. “Fahrenheit 9/11” … $222 million.
– BoxOfficeMojo.com

SCARIEST DAY OF THE WEEK?
The stress of returning to work on Monday morning can trigger a dangerous increase in blood pressure, according to a recent study from Tokyo Women’s Medical University. This may explain why there are more deaths from heart attacks and strokes on Monday morning than at any other time of the week. In fact, there are 20% more heart attacks on Mondays than other days. (Just to be safe, best to call in sick!)
– BBC News

CONTENTIOUS CONCERTS:
In the past week we heard about private performances by Nelly Furtado, Beyoncé, and Usher for the Gaddafi family. Here are some other musicians who’ve performed private shows for controversial political and business leaders in the past …
• Bob Marley – President Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe.
• Christina Aguilera – Billionaire banker Andrei Melnichenko, Russia.
• James Brown – Former President Mobutu Sese Seko, Congo.
• Manic Street Preachers – Then-president Fidel Castro, Cuba.
• Sting – President Islam Karimov, Uzbekistan.
– PopBitch.com

BLESS THE BEASTS:
Highlights of a survey by the American Animal Hospital Association …
• 93% of pet owners claim they’d be willing to risk their own life for their pets.
• 82% of owners think of their pet ‘more than once’ while away from home during the day.
• 64% of owners believe their pet would come to their rescue if they were in distress.
• 50% would pick a pet as a companion rather than a human if stranded on a deserted island.
– “Sacramento Bee”

TWO HEADS BETTER THAN ONE?
German show biz manager Tom Beser has opened the world’s first agency for albino and 2-headed animals. Among his menagerie:  ‘Mince’ the 2-headed python and ‘Two-Face’ the 2-headed turtle. He notes that sometimes with 2-headed animals, one head wants to go one way while the other wants to do the opposite. The more dominant head at the time wins. Animals with 2 heads also fight over food. Double-headed animals rarely survive in nature, which makes them even rarer. (Wow, you could have a dog that could fetch BOTH slippers!)
– Orange.co.uk

BANNED RACEHORSE NAMES:
There are strict rules relating to equine names. Names of living people can only be used with their permission; famous racehorse names are permanently retired; and names aren’t allowed if their pronunciation or spelling is considered obscene or insulting, even if in a different language. A few that were rejected: ‘Anita Bath’; ‘Ben Derhover’; ‘Chit Hot’; ‘Choke the Chicken’; ‘Hugh Gorgy’; ‘Ima Goodlay’; ‘Ivanna Humpalot’; and ‘Spank The Monkey’. But these names surprisingly slipped through the censors: ‘Little Knickers’; ‘Passing Wind’; and ‘Peony’s Envy’. (We like ‘Bodacious Tatas’.)
– LoveTheRaces.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• People with full bladders make better decisions.
– Telegraph.co.uk
• Finnish men have some of the highest sperm counts in the world.
– BBC.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 03.07.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [47] Wanda Sykes, Portsmouth VA, standup comedian/TV actress (“The New Adventures of Old Christine” 2006-10, “Wanda at Large” 2003)/movie actress (“Evan Almighty”, “Over the Hedge”)

1971 [40] Rachel Weisz, London UK, movie actress (Oscar-“The Constant Gardener”, “The Mummy”)

1973 [38] Sebastien Izambard, Paris, France, pop singer (Il Divo-“All By Myself”, “Unbreak My Heart”)

1974 [37] Jenna Fischer, Fort Wayne IN, TV actress (‘Pam Beesly’ on “The Office” since 2005)/movie actress (“Hall Pass”, “Blades of Glory”)

1975 [36] TJ Thyne, Boston MA, TV actor (‘Dr Jack Hodgins’ on “Bones” since 2005)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Be Heard Day”, a time for entrepreneurs, small business owners, and solo professionals to find their voice, tell their story, and be heard.
NET: http://www.beheardfirst.com

• “Cereal Day”, a day to share in the delights of crunchy ‘n crispy breakfast cereals. Celebrated on the anniversary of the world’s first corn flakes being served to Dr John Kellogg’s sanatarium patients in Battle Creek, Michigan (1897).

• “Fun Facts About Names Day”, when you’re encouraged to look up interesting tidbits about names as part of “Celebrate Your Name Week”. For instance, U2’s original band name was ‘Feedback’. Fun, eh?
NET: http://www.namesuniverse.com

• “Shrove Monday” (aka ‘Carnival Monday’, ‘Fasching Monday’, ‘Green Monday’, ‘Clean Monday’), the last Monday before Lent. Time to get all your celebrating done!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1996 [15] 20th Century Fox sues an Australian brewery for distributing ‘Duff Beer’, stealing the name from the brand favored by ‘Homer’ on “The Simpsons”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1987 [24] “Licensed to Ill” by the Beastie Boys becomes the 1st rap album to hit #1

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1876 [135] Alexander Graham Bell patents the ‘Telephone’, and 3 days later makes the 1st phone call (unfortunately he’s redirected to voicemail)

1911 [100] 1st ‘Coin-Operated Locker’, invented by Willis Farnsworth of Petaluma CA (thereby giving movie bad-guys a place to stash their loot)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [19] ‘World’s Largest Crêpe’ is fried and flipped in Bloemfontein, South Africa (41 feet, 2 inches in diameter; an inch-and-a-half deep; weighing 5,908 lbs)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Pancake Day / Mardi Gras
[Tues] International Women’s Day 100th Anniversary
[Tues] Unique Names Day
[Tues] Napping Day
[Wed] Ash Wednesday / Lent Begins
[Wed] Barbie Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Celebrate Your Name Week / Consumer Protection Week / Pancake Week / Read an E-Book Week / Return the Borrowed Books Week / Save Your Vision Week / Teen Tech Week / Women in Construction Week / Words Matter Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
This week the 2011 “Tim Hortons Brier” is underway at John Labatt Centre in London, a good excuse to review …
BS REASONS CURLING IS BETTER THAN SEX:
• You can score up to 10 times in 1 night.
• Lasts up to 2-and-a-half hours.
• It’s OK to yell, “Hurry, hurry, hard all the way!”
• There are 4 positions, but you only have to be good at 1 of them.
• If it’s not going your way you can always quit and head straight to the bar.
• When you’re finished, someone else has to clean the sheets.

BREAKFAST CEREAL PITCHERS:
You name the cereal, your contestant/studio guest/crew member tries to name it’s advertising mascot …
• Trix [The Trix Rabbit]
• Lucky Charms [LC Leprechaun]
• Rice Krispies [Snap! Crackle! and Pop!]
• Frosted Flakes [Tony the Tiger]
• Kellogg’s Corn Flakes [a rooster named Cornelius]
• Froot Loops [Toucan Sam]
• Sugar Crisp [Sugar Bear]
• Cap’n Crunch [well duh … Cap’n Crunch]
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

WHICH IS WORSE?
A rapid-fire on-air poll or something to use on your website. Which is worse …
• Hairy backs on men OR hairy legs on women?
• Sweaty foot odor OR sweaty armpit odor?
• Flipping burgers at a fast food restaurant OR being unemployed?
• Changing your baby’s diaper OR changing your grandma’s diaper?
• Wearing too much cologne OR not wearing any deodorant?
• Eating a worm OR swallowing a goldfish?
• An ear full of wax OR a nose full of hair?
• A fire engine’s horn OR fingernails on a blackboard?
• Catching your parents ‘doing it’ OR getting caught ‘doing it’ by your parents?
• Pit stains OR skid marks?

BS PHONE STARTER:
Would you switch to a different supermarket if it featured candy-free checkouts? (In an Australian survey, over 70% of parents say ‘yes!’.)

BS WEB GOODIE:
You can invent your own breakfast cereal by selecting options from 4 categories in the ‘Cereal Name Creator’ right here …
NET: http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-creator.html

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Some people say that I’m superficial … but that’s just on the surface.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: When it comes to daydreaming, moms think about THIS the most.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Winning the lottery.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success is not permanent. Neither is failure.