Tuesday, October 18, 2011           Edition: #4610
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
A moving truck has been photographed outside of Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher’s LA-area residence, further exacerbating rumors of their split (neither the moving company nor the couple will make any comment) . . . Sofia Vergara (“Modern Family”), the Columbian actress named ‘Best Dressed’ celebrity at the recent Emmy Awards, has designed her own line of clothing for Kmart (2 terms that don’t belong in the same sentence – ‘best dressed’ and ‘Kmart’) . . . Zachary Quinto, the 34-year-old actor best known for playing ‘Spock’ in the 2009 remake of “Star Trek”, has come out as gay in an interview with “New York” magazine (he’s portrayed several gay men on stage & screen but never previously confirmed his sexuality) . . . “Harry Potter” star Emma Watson has warned fans she’ll be out of the spotlight for a while as she begins English literature classes at Britain’s Oxford University (she’s transferred from Rhode Island’s Brown University for a year ‘abroad’) . . . Sorta famous person Kelly Osbourne has ridiculed pop singer Christina Aguilera for being fat during an appearance on the E! show “Fashion Police” (Quote: “She called me fat for so many f—ing years, so you know what? F— you, you’re fat too!”) . . . Jennifer Lopez (“American Idol”) & Bradley Cooper (“The Hangover”) have further fueled rumors they’re becoming a couple after being spotted out for dinner and a drive in Los Angeles (when they dined in NYC recently, it was labeled ‘business’) . . . Famous felon Lindsay Lohan is denying reports that she’s been shirking her court-ordered community service and may face jail time as a result (TMZ says she’s been kicked out of LA’s Downtown Women’s Center for failing to show up 9 times and she’s NOT meeting weekly with her therapist as required) . . . While visiting Dubai, TV reality stars Kim & Kris Kardashian have gone burqa shopping (and taken along a camera crew of course) . . . And no surprise here: ABC-TV has just canceled “Charlie’s Angels” (thereby disappointing about 4 of you).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars (ABC/CTV) – Kelly Clarkson (“Stronger”, out October 24th) performs; The Band Perry (“If I Die Young”) performs; another couple is eliminated.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Cory Monteith (“Glee”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Kelly Rowland (“Here I Am”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Laura Marling (“A Creature I Don’t Know”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Pearl Jam promotes the “Pearl Jam Twenty” documentary, alongside director Cameron Crowe. Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Fleet Foxes (“Helplessness Blues”). Rerun.
• “Man Up!” (ABC/CTV2) – Series debut of a new comedy about 3 guys trying to redefine what it means to be a ‘real man’. Stars Christopher Moynihan, Jake Johnson, Mather Zickel.
• “The Rolling Stones: Some Girls Live In Texas” – A one-night movie theater concert event in over 300 venues that transports fans back to the Summer of 1978. The never-before-seen concert footage is augmented by present-day commentary from Mick Jagger.
NET: http://www.fathomevents.com/concerts/event/rollingstones_texas.aspx
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – LMFAO (“Sorry for Party Rocking”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – TI (“No Mercy”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – Frontman Steven Tyler has signed on as the face of fashion house Andrew Charles, which has Tommy Hilfiger’s younger brother Andy as its creative director. His first gig was posing in the storefront window of NYC Macy’s to promote the new line, which includes a scarf collection called ‘Rock Scarf’.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin tells CBS News he’s only had one serious relationship and he’s ‘in it’. He says marrying his first serious girlfriend in 2003, actress Gwyneth Paltrow, was like ‘winning the lottery’.
• Dierks Bentley – Ever wonder how his unusual name came about? ‘Dierks’ is his mother’s surname.
• Drake – In an interview in the November issue of “Elle” magazine, the 24-year-old admits that he briefly dated pop singer Rihanna and was left hurt when it ended because he ‘thought it was more’.
• Faith Hill – She’s set to debut the first single from her upcoming album on the “CMA Awards” on November 9th. She last performed on the show in 2006.
• Jane’s Addiction – After a few delays they release their new album, “The Great Escape Artist”, today. The album features the already-released single, “End To the Lies.”
• Radiohead – In a new interview with “Rolling Stone”, Thom Yorke says he hopes to finish the new album from his Atoms For Peace side project by the end of 2011. Then Radiohead will head to their studio in Oxford, England in December and January to work on new material.
• Rihanna – UK’s “The Sun” reports she was  reprimanded by staff for ‘repeatedly touching’ the women dancing for her and her friends during a recent night out at London strip-club Stringfellows.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Bad Teacher” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Cameron Diaz plays a profanity-prone teacher who decides she needs breast implants to woo her junior high school’s new substitute teacher (Justin Timberlake). And when she learns the teacher with the highest class average gets a bonus, she finds herself competing with a perky nemesis (Lucy Punch). Co-stars Jason Segel.
• “Monte Carlo” ( PG Adventure Comedy ): Selena Gomez, Leighton Meester, and Katie Cassidy star as 3 young women vacationing in Paris who find themselves whisked away to Monte Carlo after one of the girls is mistaken for a British heiress. An adaptation of Jules Bass’ novel “Headhunters”.
• Also released today: “American Pickers: Volume 2” (Reality TV); “Baseball’s Greatest Games” (Sports); “Beats, Rhymes & Life: The Travels Of a Tribe Called Quest” (Documentary); “Craig Ferguson: Does This Need to Be Said?” (Comedy); “Happiness is… Peanuts: Snow Days” (Animation); “Page One: Inside The New York Times” (Documentary); “The Rise & Fall of Margaret Thatcher” (Documentary); “Star Wars: The Clone Wars – The Complete Season 3” (TV); and “V: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV).

PUTTING A LITTLE MUSTARD ON IT:
If you are looking to lean out, add muscle mass, and get ripped, a new research report suggests you might want to look to the mustard plant for a little help. That’s because scientists have found that a specific plant steroid found in mustard triggers a response similar to anabolic steroids when given orally to lab rats, but with minimal side effects. The compound ‘homobrassinolide’ seems to increase appetite, muscle mass, and physical performance. (‘Popeye’ got it wrong: Not spinach … mustard!)
NET: http://bit.ly/pPiBvd
– EurekAlert.org

AMAZING USES FOR WD-40:
And we thought is was just for squeaky door hinges. Apparently not so …
• When pulling and tugging can’t get that ring off your finger, reach for the WD-40.
• To keep squirrels from taking over a bird feeder, spray  WD-40 on top of it. The pesky critters will slide right off.
• To keep insects and spiders out of your home, spray WD-40 on windowsills and frames, screens, and door frames.
• Remove chewing gum from hair. Simply spray the gummed-up hair with WD-40, and the gum will comb out with ease.
• Remove tough scuff marks on hard-surfaced floors. It won’t harm the surface, and you won’t have to scrub nearly as much.
• Waterproof your Winter boots and shoes by giving them a coat of WD-40. It’ll act as a barrier so water can’t penetrate the material.
– Condensed from RD.com

FORGETTABLE SEX:
Sex can be mind-blowing … but not always in a good way, as scientists have found it can wipe your memory. They cite the case of a 54-year-old woman who arrived at a Washington DC hospital in a state of panic because she’d just been intimate with her husband and immediately lost all recollection of the previous 24 hours. This rare condition is called ‘Transient Global Amnesia’. Researchers say it’s almost always temporary, but because it’s so severe, it can be very distressing. In the majority of cases it takes just a few hours for memory to return. (Like when you wake up the next morning and roll over to see …. AGGGGHHHHH!)
– LiveScience.com

THINGS WOMEN CAN DO THAT MEN WISH THEY COULD:
• Recall the most minute details of previous dialogue during arguments.
• Find things.
• Keep growing lots of hair.
• Buy Christmas presents before Christmas Eve.
• Be sexually aroused in public without detection.
– Condensed from “Glamour” magazine

COLOR BOOST:
A new poll of 3,000 women finds that 75% of those who ditched their dark hair in favor of lighter locks feel ‘sexier’ and ‘more glamorous’. Most also report a significant confidence boost and a large percentage say have a ‘better outlook’ on life since going blonde. The survey also reveals that 40% of those who’ve gone back to their brunette roots have immediately regretted it. The study suggests we tend to make assumptions based on hair color – that blondes have more fun but brunettes make better wives and friends, for instance – but these are just stereotypical preconceptions. (Does this mean that ‘gingers’ aren’t actually creepy?)
– DailyMail.co.uk

DID YOU KNOW?
The young nation of South Sudan has chosen English as its official language even though there are few fluent English speakers in the country. While most citizens were brought up speaking a form of Arabic, the Ministry of Higher Education thinks English will make the country ‘different’ and ‘modern’.
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 10.18.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [85] Chuck Berry, St Louis MO, rock ‘n roll pioneer (“Johnny B Goode”, “Roll Over Beethoven”)/Lifetime Achievement Grammy Award (1984)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1986)

1960 [51] Jean-Claude Van Damme (Van Varenberg), Brussels, Belgium, action movie actor (“Universal Soldier”, “Double Impact”) COMING UP: “The Expendables 2” (2012) BS FACTOID: He’s been having a rough time of it lately: Not only was he slammed for attending the controversial Chechan president’s birthday, he then drove his car into a canal after leaving a disco in Belgium … then tried to drag it out himself.

1972 [39] Alex Tagliani, Lachenaie QC, auto racing driver (IndyCar Series)/Indianapolis 500 Rookie Of the Year (2009)

1979 [32] Ne-Yo (Shaffer Chimere Smith), Camden AR, pop-R&B singer/songwriter/producer (“Miss Independent”, “So Sick”)

1984 [27] Freida Pinto, Mumbai, India, movie actress (“Rise Of the Apes”, “Slumdog Millionaire”)

1987 [24] Zac Efron, San Luis Obispo CA, movie actor (“High School Musical” movies, “Hairspray”) UP NEXT: “New Year’s Eve”, opening December 9th.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Cupcake Day”. They don’t count, right? They’re just little.

• “No Beard Day”, an observance likely started by some guy’s extremely chapped partner.

• “Persons Day”, commemorating the anniversary of the 1929 ruling that declared women to be ‘persons’ in Canada (shouldn’t that be ‘people’?). Previously, under English common law, women were persons in matters of pains and penalties, but were not persons in matters of rights and privileges.

• “Watch a Squirrel Day”, celebrating those ubiquitous rodents with cute bushy tails.

• “World Menopause Day”, a collaboration between the International Menopause Society (!?!?) and the World Health Organization for improving awareness on the subject.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1922 [89] The British Broadcasting Company (BBC) is created

1986 [25] Former NFL star Frank Gifford (“Monday Night Football”, NY Giants) weds former “Hee-Haw Honey” Kathie Lee Epstein (now “Today Show” 4th-hour co-host)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1977 [34] In Game 6 of World Series vs LA Dodgers, NY Yankees slugger Reggie Jackson (“Mr October’) hits 3 home runs off 3 consecutive pitches from 3 different pitchers (Yankees win the game and the series, the team’s first since 1962)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1989 [22] in celebration of its 100th birthday, Fort Payne, Alabama unveils the ‘World’s Largest Cake’, weighing in at 128,238 lbs (58,168 kg)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Evaluate Your Life Day
[Wed] Medical Assistants Recognition Day
[Wed] “Bored to Death” debuts (HBO)
[Thurs] Information Overload Day
[Thurs] Support Your Local Chamber of Commerce Day
[Thurs] International Credit Union Day
[Thurs] Get Smart About Credit Day
This Week is … Character Counts Week
This Month is … Long Term Care Planning Month

BULL’S BITS

BS THINGS TO DO WITH AUTUMN LEAVES:
• Leave them where they are and call it ‘open air composting’.
• Pick them up one at a time, dip them in nacho cheese, eat them.
• As a science project, get the kids to glue them back on trees.
• Press them in a book, then impress friends when you open it up and cover the carpet with crap.
• Crunch them up and convince your spouse it’s the latest high-fiber cereal.
• Just be thankful for them, because you finally can’t see how badly your lawn needs mowing.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What Halloween costumes do you remember from when you were a kid?

MORNING CREW CHALLENGE:
Get your show on the road by allowing listeners to challenge your crew to a competition in an activity of their choice. Could be anything: Scrabble, basketball, videogames, whatever. Select a weekly challenge and show up with giveaways and refreshments (great opportunity for sponsor tie-ins). Throughout the ‘season’, keep track of your won/loss record on-air.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
When are your feet largest?
a. Middle of the night.
b. First thing in the morning.
c. Late in the day. [CORRECT. They’re largest after they’ve taken a pounding all day. So to avoid buying shoes that are too tight, you should shop late in the day.]
– Podiatric Medical Association

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Never put off to tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Half of all computer users surveyed say they hate doing THIS.
Answer: Using a mouse.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.