Friday, August 24, 2007       Edition: #3599
Touch Your Screen – This BS Is Still Warm!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
SATURDAY 36-year-old singer/amateur dancer/actress Willa Ford (“Dancing With the Stars”/”Anna Nicole”) will reportedly marry her 37-year-old hockey player fiancé Mike Modano (Dallas Stars) in a ‘secret ceremony’ (shhh, don’t tell anybody!) . . . SUNDAY NBC-TV is gearing up for the 2nd season premiere of “Heroes” (SEPTEMBER 24th) and the launch of the 1st season DVD (TUESDAY) by launching a “Heroes World Tour”, during which 12 cast members will travel to 8 countries in 8 days (sounds like a package bus tour of Europe) . . . 18-year-old “Heroes” star Hayden Panettiere (‘Claire Bennet’) is set to become the latest ‘white lip’ in the iconic “Got Milk?” ad campaign, appearing in new print ads shot by celebrated photographer Annie Leibovitz (who has a real moustache) . . . 51-year-old single actress Dana Delany says she’s accepted an on-going role on “Desperate Housewives” (ABC/CTV) because every single actress on the show has ended up married in real life (wow, she really is desperate!) . . . 56-year-old movie actor Bill Murray, in Sweden to participate in the Scandinavian Masters Golf Tournament, may face a fine if a blood alcohol test proves positive after he was pulled over for driving erratically … in a ‘borrowed’ golf cart … in downtown Stockholm (maybe something was “Lost in Translation”?) . . . A lawyer representing 11 extras injured in a truck accident while filming a scene for the new Tom Cruise movie “Valkyrie” in Germany is threatening to sue the star unless there’s immediate compensation (why? – cuz he’s the one with all the money) . . . A 19-year-old Czech youth living in a small village in south Bohemia is facing a possible 5-year prison sentence & quarter-million-dollar fine for allegedly camcording “The Simpsons Movie” at a local theater and uploading it online (a night out at the movies is getting so expensive!) . . . Movie studios Paramount & DreamWorks have reportedly accepted ‘incentives’ totaling $150 million to agree to release their movies exclusively in the HD-DVD video format instead of  competitor Blu-ray (are incentives similar to payola?) . . . And CBS-TV is attempting to defend itself against mounting criticism that it may have violated child labor laws during production of the upcoming reality show “Kid Nation” in which forty 8-to-15-year-olds are left to fend for themselves and create their own ‘society’ in a New Mexico ghost town while cameras roll to record what happens (what’s the prob? – this just sounds like high school!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Britney Spears – Word has it she’s pulled out of recording a duet with former BF Justin Timberlake at the last minute. The track was to be produced by Timbaland, who’d blocked off a week from his crazy schedule for the project.
• Christina Aguilera – She’s the new owner of the LA mansion formerly owned by Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne that was featured in their reality TV show “The Osbournes” (2002-05).
• The Fugees – Pras claims Lauryn Hill’s erratic behavior has virtually eliminated any chance of the group reforming. He says the odds would be better of seeing Bin Laden & Bush sharing a latte at Starbucks.
• Justin Timberlake – He’s signed to co-star in the upcoming Mike Myers comedy “The Love Guru” as a pro hockey player who’s dating the ex-wife of a rival player. Jessica Alba (“Fantastic Four”) and Romany Malco (“Blades of Glory”, “Weeds”) will co-star.
• Kenny Chesney – The 39-year-old country star is said to be back together with Florida real estate agent Allison Stewart, the woman he was dating before his ill-fated 4-month marriage to actress Renee Zellweger.
• Rihanna – The “Umbrella” hitmaker says her umbrella-branding deal with Totes is going phenomenally well.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/22cje9
• Spice Girls – For the album cover of their upcoming greatest hits compilation, jeweler David Morris has re-created the ‘Spice’ logo in $2-million-worth of glittering gems.
• Van Halen – Former bassist Michael Anthony has addressed his absence from the reunion tour, saying simply that he wasn’t invited to take part. He also encourages fans not to judge his replacement too harshly as he’s sure that Wolfgang Van Halen will do just fine.
 
WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Are You Smarter Than a Canadian 5th Grader?” – THIS MORNING auditions for Global-TV’s upcoming home-grown version of the FOX-TV show begin at 7 am at Toronto’s Royal York Hotel (4 other cities are hosting auditions). Hopefuls must bring their Grade 4 report card.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/3xqnyy
• Bedouin Soundclash – TODAY they guest on “MuchOnDemand” (MuchMusic).
• Black Light Burns – TONIGHT the new band that includes Wes Borland (Limp Bizkit), Danny Lohner (Nine Inch Nails) & Josh Freese (Nine Inch Nails) does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• “Blades of Glory” – Beginning TODAY, a week-long promotion for NEXT WEEK’s DVD release of the hit comedy begins online in the virtual world of Second Life whereby users can dress their avatars in replicas of the film’s outrageous costumes and have them perform in online ice rinks.
• “The Bold & the Beautiful” (CBS/CTV) – On TODAY’s episode, current cast member Constantine Maroulis & fellow former “American Idol” contestant Elliott Yamin each perform solo.
• Little Big Town – Their new single “I’m With the Band” is being offered online as a free download until midnight TONIGHT. Their new album, as yet untitled, will be released in NOVEMBER.
• “Miss Teen USA Pageant“ (NBC) – TONIGHT Mario Lopez hosts the 2007 version of the Donald Trump-owned pageant, live from the Pasadena CA Civic Auditorium. The ‘celebrity’ judges include Joey Lawrence, Melissa Joan Hart & Victoria’s Secret model Selina Ebanks.
NET: http://www.missteenusa.com/index2.html
• “Teen Choice Awards 2007” (FOX/Global): SUNDAY in LA, Hilary Duff & Nick Cannon host as the teen-voted surfboard trophies are handed out in several show biz categories. Among them: ‘Choice Onscreen Chemistry, and ‘Choice Movie Scream’. Avril Lavigne, Fergie, and Kelly Clarkson are among those who’ll perform.
NET: http://www.fox.com/teenchoice/
• T-Pain w/Yung Joc – TONIGHT they perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Illegal Tender” ( R-Rated Urban Drama ): A hard-studying college student is forced to step up and protect his mother when she becomes terrorized by the same man who murdered his father years earlier. Stars Rick Gonzalez & Wanda De Jesus. Shot in NYC and Puerto Rico in just 28 days.
NET: http://www.illegaltendermovie.net/
• “Mr Bean’s Holiday” ( G-Rated Comedy ): Bumbling ‘Bean’ (Rowan Atkinson) travels to France for a vacation where his video diary somehow winds up as a world premiere at the “Cannes Film Festival”. For the first time, ‘Bean’s first name is revealed in a quick shot of his passport … it’s ‘Rowan’. Atkinson has confirmed this is the last adventure for the character he’s been portraying on TV and film since 1990.
NET: http://www.dotcomedy.com/bean/
• “The Nanny Diaries” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Scarlett Johansson stars as a nanny from the wrong side of the tracks (New Jersey) who lands a job with a snooty but dysfunctional uptown Manhattan family. Based on the bestseller by real-life former nannies Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus. Co-stars Alicia Keys, Laura Linney & Paul Giamatti. Partially shot in Toronto.
NET: http://www.thenannydiariesmovie.com/
• “Resurrecting the Champ” ( PG-13 Drama ): Josh Hartnett plays a sportswriter who saves a homeless guy from getting beaten up, then becomes convinced the destitute old dude (Samuel L Jackson) is a former boxing legend whose reputation needs to be restored. Co-stars Teri Hatcher, Alan Alda & Peter Coyote. Partially shot in Calgary.
NET: http://www.resurrectingthechamp.com
• “September Dawn” ( R-Rated Historical Drama ): Based on an incident known as the Mountain Meadows Massacre that occurred September 11, 1857. When a group of settlers en route to California encounter a Mormon sect in Utah, the ensuing slaughter of 120 is immediately covered up by prominent religious leaders. Stars Jon Voight. Shot entirely in Alberta.
NET: http://www.septemberdawn.net/
• “War” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Jet Li stars as an assassin named ‘Rogue’ who has murdered an FBI agent. Jason Statham (“The Transporter“) plays the agent’s former partner who is hellbent on revenge. Wicked fight scenes ensue. Shot entirely in Vancouver.
NET: http://www.warthefilm.com/

TOP BAD GIRLS-GONE-GOOD:
Maybe there’s hope for Britney, Paris and Nicole? Madonna has been picked the ultimate reformed woman. A show biz mag notes that back in the ’80s and ’90s she was determined to shock whether expressing herself in racy videos or posing nude for her “Sex” book, but now she’s a socially-conscious devoted mom. Others who are said to have turned the corner on their formally wild ways …
5. Christina Aguilera
4. Fergie
3. Mary J Blige
2. Drew Barrymore
1. Madonna
– “In Touch Weekly“

WHY EAT BREAKFAST?
• Eating breakfast has an advantageous effect on late-morning mood and cognitive performance. A University of Health Sciences study finds it can help prevent irritability and fatigue, and establish the tone for the next 16 hours of the day.
• Eating breakfast keeps you thin. Researchers from the National Weight Control Registry have found that eating breakfast every day has proven a successful weight control strategy for 78% of people who have lost at least 60 lbs and kept it off for an average of 6 years.
• Children who eat breakfast perform better on tests and have fewer behavioral problems in school, according to a Harvard University study published in the journal “Pediatrics”.
– MrBreakfast.com

SHE’S LEAVING HOME, BYE BYE:
Getting ready to ship a kid off to college? A University of Virginia study finds when kids call home from college they lie to their parents about 50% of the time. (So if they say they’re flunking, broke, depressed and/or pregnant, don’t worry – it’s only half true.)
– AP

DID YOU KNOW?
Dutch settlers brought rope-skipping to North America during the 1660s. For the next century, it was generally boys who skipped because it was considered too physically demanding for girls. Once girls started to skip, the nature of the game began to change as they invented chants, rhymes and co-operative games.
– “Today’s Parent“

BS CHRONOMETER 08.24.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [62] Vince McMahon, Pinehurst NC, chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment (which is slowly dying off … literally!)

1970 [37] Kristyn Osborn, Magna UT, country singer (SHeDAISY-“Don’t Worry ‘Bout a Thing”, “I Will … But”)

1973 [34] Dave Chappelle, Washington DC, TV comedian (“Chappelle’s Show” 2003-05)/movie actor (“Block Party”, “Blue Streak”)

1973 [34] Carmine Giovinazzo, Staten Island NY, TV actor (‘Detective Danny Messer’ on “CSI: NY” since 2004)

1981 [26] Chad Michael Murray, Buffalo NY, TV actor (‘Lucas Scott’ on “One Tree Hill” since 2003)/movie actor (“House of Wax”)

1988 [19] Rupert Grint, Watton-at-Stone UK, movie actor (‘Ron Weasley’ in the “Harry Potter” films)

SATURDAY –
Movie actor Sean Connery (‘James Bond’) is 77; Talk show host Regis Philbin (“Live With Regis & Kelly”) is 76; Classic rocker Gene Simmons (KISS) is 58; Musician Elvis Costello (“My Aim is True”) is 53; Movie director Tim Burton (“Corpse Bride”) is 49; Country singer/TV actor Billy Ray Cyrus (“Hannah Montana”) is 46; Rock singer Jeff Tweedy (Wilco) is 40; TV personality Rachael Ray (“Rachael Ray”) is 39; Country singer Jo Dee Messina (“My Give a Damn’s Busted”) is 37; Model Claudia Schiffer (“Zoolander”) is 37; former TV actress Rachel Bilson (“The OC”) is 26.

SUNDAY –
Country singer Jimmy Olander (Diamond Rio) is 46; Rock singer Shirley Manson (Garbage) is 41; Rock guitarist Dan Vickrey (Counting Crows) is 41; Rock drummer Adrian Young (No Doubt) is 38; former child actor Macaulay Culkin (“Home Alone”) is 27.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canadian Garlic Festival”, the 15th annual celebration of ‘The Stinking Rose’ at Hnatyshyn Park  in Sudbury ON through Sunday. Events include a ‘garlic hunt’ and ‘garlic relay’ (mouth-to-mouth?).
• “National Inventors’ Month”. Inventions attributed to TODAY’s date include ‘Potato Chips’ (Chef George Crum, Saratoga Springs NY in 1853), the ‘Waffle Iron’ (Cornelius Swartwout of Troy NY in 1869), and the ‘Motion Picture Camera’ (Thomas Edison in Menlo Park NJ, 1891)

SATURDAY –
• “Kiss-and-Make-Up Day”, a day to make amends in relationships that have deteriorated. (Let’s see, there’s that ornery cab driver, that rip-off auto mechanic, the boss …)

SUNDAY –
• “Ironman Canada” in Penticton BC, including a 3.8K swim, 180K cycle, and 42.2K run.
NET: http://www.ironman.ca/
• “Little League World Series Championship Game” (ABC), 3:30 pm ET in Williamsport PA.
NET: http://www.littleleague.org/
• “Make Your Own Luck Day”, a day to take affirmative action to gain control of your life.
• “Single Parent Family Day”, a day for single parent families to celebrate their success in doing with 1 parent a job that was intended for a team of 2.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1987 [20] PBS is threatened with a lawsuit if it uses a banana to demonstrate how to use a condom during an AIDS special … by the International Banana Association

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1996 [11] “Missing” by Everything But The Girl logs in week #55 to become the longest-lasting song in “Billboard Hot 100” chart history

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1994 [13] Pizza Hut in California’s Silicon Valley debuts the 1st online pizza order service

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Petroleum Day
[Tues] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon
[Wed] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Wed] Senior Citizens Day
[Wed-Sept 8] Venice Film Festival (Italy)
[Thurs] Toasted Marshmallow Day
This Week Is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Catfish Month

BULL’S BITS

VACATION SLOGANS FOR BORING TOWNS:
• “A Reasonable Place to Visit!”
• “You Won’t Even Notice We’re Here!”
• “More Than a Crossroads!”
• “Town in Mirror Is Smaller Than It Appears!”
• “Yours to Stumble Upon!”
• “The City That Sleeps!”
• “Just What You Expected!”
• “Don’t Blink!”
• “A Place to Gas Up!”
• “Paint the Town Beige!” 

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the longest you’ve ever waited on hold? A 51-year-old woman in Cardiff, Wales was recently kept on hold for almost 8 hours by the British phone company BT when she called to report an installer had failed to show up. When she called back to complain, the customer service help line put her on hold for another 4 hours. She claims she had to be prescribed tranquilizers after the incident to calm herself.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
5 days a week my body is a temple. The other 2, an amusement park.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 1 in 5 men say they do THIS on a Saturday.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Watch cartoons.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Kids are especially useful to people who have nothing to talk about.