TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Brit Awards” – BBC Radio 1 DJ Fearne Cotton announces the nominations for this year’s UK music awards at a launch party in Camden, north London. The Brits are usually far slicker and more up-to-date than the Grammys.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Beyoncé is the musical guest.
• Inauguration of Barrack Obama – The president-elect is sworn in as America’s 44th leader in Washington DC (11:30 am EST). Aretha Franklin sings, Yo-Yo Ma & Itzhak Perlman play, 2 military bands & 2 San Francisco children’s choirs perform as part of the 56th presidential inauguration. The Inaugural Parade makes its way down Pennsylvania Avenue from the Capitol to the White House (2:30-5:30 pm EST). Among the inaugural balls and galas tonight …
– “American Music Inaugural Ball” – Oldies singer Dionne Warwick hosts.
– “Creative Coalition Ball“ – Adrian Grenier, Anne Hathaway, Ashley Judd, Elvis Costello, Seal, Sting, Susan Sarandon, Tim Robbins, Spike Lee, and Ron Howard are expected to attend.
– “Neighborhood Ball” (ABC): Performers attending include Alicia Keys, Aretha Franklin, Beyoncé, Faith Hill, Jay-Z, Mariah Carey, Mary J Blige, Shakira, and Stevie Wonder.
– “Purple Ball – Movie actor Lou Gossett Jr hosts.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Soulja Boy (“Crank That”) is onstage.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Brit singer Leona Lewis (“I Will Be”) makes an appearance in a rerun show.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Buckcherry performs music from “Black Butterfly”.
• “You’re Welcome America: A Night With George Bush” – Comic actor Will Ferrell’s one-man Broadway show begins previews. Just as the new prez is sworn in, Ferrell lampoons the shortcomings of the Bush administration.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – She’s just been named ‘Loser Of the Year’ in the annual “Virgin Media Music Awards”, as voted online by some 3 million music fans. It’s her 2nd ‘win’ in-a-row. Meantime, she’s spending a reported 1-million pounds to launch her own record label, Lioness, and her first signing is Dionne Bromfield … her 13-year-old goddaughter.
• Metallica – Their own “Guitar Hero” game will be released March 29th in North America for Xbox 360 & Sony Playstation 3 (Nintendo Wii and PS2 follow later). “Guitar Hero Metallica” will allow users to play as the band in various famous venues.
• Rush – The Canadian rockers have announced details of an upcoming 3rd volume in their continuing compilation series. “Retrospective III” arrives in stores March 3rd as both an individual CD and 2-disc CD/DVD set. (It covers the last 2 centuries of their career.)
• Shakira – She’s reportedly been recording with Wyclef Jean & Pharrell Williams for her first studio release since 2005. The as-yet-untitled record is expected out later this year.
• Taylor Swift – After she travels the UK and performs for the first time in Australia, she’ll headline her own North American concert tour beginning in April and continuing through August.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “City of Ember” ( Family Adventure ): This fantasy tale is about an underground city which for generations has flourished in an amazing world of glittering lights. But when the city’s once powerful generator begins to fail, the citizens race to escape before the lights go out for good. An otherwise no-name cast features Bill Murray & Tim Robbins.
• “The Express” ( Sports Drama ): Clancy Brown has the lead in this bio-film about Ernie Davis, a high school football star recruited by Syracuse University, where he becomes the first African-American to win the Heisman Trophy. Co-stars Rob Brown (“Coach Carter”) & Dennis Quaid (“Any Given Sunday”). The film uses a blend of archival and recreated footage.
• “Igor” ( Animated Comedy ): Tired of playing second fiddle to his ‘Master’, a talented lab assistant (voiced by John Cusack) looks to win the annual ‘Evil Science Fair’ with his own creation. Voice cast also includes Molly Shannon (ex-“SNL”), John Cleese (ex-“Monty Python”), Steve Buscemi (ex-“Sopranos”), and Sean Hayes (ex-“Will & Grace”).
• “Max Payne” ( Thriller ): Mark Wahlberg plays a DEA agent whose family was slain as part of a conspiracy; Mila Kunis an assassin out to avenge her sister’s death. Together they try to solve a series of murders in NYC, where they’re hunted by cops, the mob, and a ruthless corporation. Co-stars Beau Bridges, rapper/actor Ludacris, and singer Nelly Furtado. Based on the popular videogame. Shot entirely in Toronto. Comes in a ‘2-Disc Unrated Edition’.
• “Repo! The Genetic Opera” ( Rock Opera ): After a worldwide epidemic, a biotech company launches an organ-financing program that’s similar to a standard car loan. The bad news is that the repossession clause is a killer … literally. Stars Paul Sorvino, Anthony Head, Alexa Vega, and Paris Hilton as the surgery-addicted ‘Amber Sweet’. Cameos by rocker Joan Jett and members of Guns ‘N Roses, Korn, and more. Filmed in Toronto.
• “Saw V” ( Horror Thriller ): In the 5th installment of the fright-flick franchise, ‘Hoffman’ (Costas Mandylor) is the last person alive to carry on the ‘Jigsaw’ legacy, but when his secret is threatened he goes on the hunt to eliminate loose ends. Co-stars Tobin Bell & Scott Patterson. Shot in Toronto. Available in an ‘Unrated Collector’s Edition’ and ‘Unrated Director’s Cut’.
• Also released today: “Chris Rock: Kill the Messenger” (Comedy); “MGM: When the Lion Roars” (Documentary); “Moonlight: The Complete Series” (TV); “The Notebook: Limited Edition Gift Set”; “The Powerpuff Girls: Complete Series 10th Anniversary Collection” (vintage animated TV); and “The Rockford Files: Season 6“ (vintage TV).

WHAT, NO NAIL CLIPPERS?
Victorinox, which has been making multi-tool Swiss Army Knives for more than a century has designed the new ‘Presentation Pro’ model for use in the office. Its 32-gig memory stick can hold hundreds-of-thousands of documents; its laser can be used to point at projected images; and its Bluetooth technology allows it to double as a computer mouse. For security purposes, it features fingerprint recognition; and one version dispenses with the knife blade altogether so traveling business types avoid hassles in airports. (What single new tool would you like to see on a Swiss Army Knife?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

ALMOST ALL MUSIC DOWNLOADS ARE ILLEGAL:
Although legal music downloads have risen by 25% in the last year, 95% of music downloaded online is illegal, according to a new report by the International Federation Of the Phonographic Industry. Globally, music industry revenues shrank by 7%, with rising digital sales failing to make up the shortfall caused by declining CD sales. It’s estimated that more than 40 billion music files were shared illegally in 2008, compared with 1.8 billion songs downloaded legally. (Have you got an extra 10-grand to load up your kid’s iPod?)
– “GQ”

FINGERS IN THE POT:
Scientists at Britain’s Cambridge University have found that financial traders whose ring fingers are longer than their index fingers make the most money. It’s thought the link could be due to prenatal testosterone exposure, which may improve rapid decision-making skills and has been linked with aggression. The same ring-to-index finger ratio, which is determined in the womb, has previously been associated with success in competitive sports. (Like bowling maybe? That 3rd finger hole can be a real stretch!)
– “The Economist”

TABLE OF CONDIMENTS:
If you’re like most people, there are likely condiments in your fridge and/or cupboards you haven’t used in months … perhaps years. Here’s a sampling of their typical shelf-life, according to the online ‘Table of Condiments That Periodically Go Bad’ …
• Hollandaise sauce … 1 day.
• Guacamole … 2 days.
• Gravy … 3 days.
• Sour Cream … 3 weeks.
• Mayonnaise … 3 months.
• Relish … 6 months.
• Syrup … 8 months.
• Steak Sauce … 1 year.
• Tabasco … 2-5 years.
• Black Pepper … 4 years.
You’ll find a full listing of 75 condiments here …
NET: http://backtable.org/~blade/fnord/condiments.html
– Neatorama.com

WHY WOMEN CHEAT:
Why would your wife look to have relations with someone else? According to a recent study, you can blame it on evolution! That’s the excuse … er, scientific finding, of researchers from UCLA and the University of New Mexico, who say women with a wandering eye are just trying to improve the species. It seems an ovulating woman is automatically attracted to a mate offering good genes, whether she likes it or not. (Guys who do are tempted, however, are just bastards.)
– “Health Day News”

BEER BABBLE:
Some people believe squeezing a lime into a Corona beer is a time-honored Mexican custom to enhance the beer’s taste; others think the ritual comes from an ancient Meso-American practice designed to combat germs, with the lime’s acidity destroying bacteria. The truth? The Corona-and-lime ritual dates back only to 1981, when, reportedly on a bet with his buddy, a bartender popped a lime wedge into the neck of a Corona to see if he could start a trend. This simple act, which caught on like wildfire, is generally credited with helping Corona overtake Heineken as the best-selling imported beer in America. (My celery-and-Cheez Whiz beer-mug stir-stick never really caught on.)
– “Parade Magazine”

DID YOU KNOW?
Motown was originally called Tamla when songwriter/businessman Berry Gordy Jr used an $800-loan to build a studio in his cellar and found the label. Motown is marking its 50th anniversary throughout this year.
– BBC News

BS CHRONOMETER 01.20.09