BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
39-year-old actress-model Jenny McCarthy spent 2 episodes of her new dating show “Love In the Wild” on crutches after pulling her hamstring – while sleeping (debuts June 29th on NBC/CTV) . . . Britain’s “The Sun” reports Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie have been participating in karaoke nights with their kids in their UK home, but they don’t do it simply like you or I – they bring in an entire theater company as backup (they live extra-large) . . . Famous felon Lindsay Lohan may be facing legal action over an alleged $40,000 in unpaid tanning bills (does it really cost so much to look so cheap?) . . . 26-year-old “Twilight Saga” star Robert Pattinson tells “ShortList” the film series is ending at the right time (November 16th) as he’s completely run out of ideas for his role and come to the end of his inspiration (2 words from the studio, dude – shut up!) . . . Khloe Kardashian on Kourtney Kardashian’s baby-to-be: “All I want to do is dip my niece in glitter and put a tutu on her” (Children’s Services are already on their way) . . . 46-year-old former “Sex & The City” actress Cynthia Nixon (‘Miranda Hobbes’) has married her partner Christine Marinoni (45) in NYC (they got engaged at a same-sex rally back in 2009 when gay and lesbian marriage wasn’t legal) . . . And “Maxim” magazine’s latest ‘Hottest Woman Alive’, model Bar Refaeli, has blabbed at a star-studded Hollywood bash: “Justin Bieber and I are going to get married some day” (now all she has to do is figure out how to prevent Beliebers from murdering her).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Karmin (“Hello”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Evanescence (“Evanescence”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – The Cult (“Choice of Weapon”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tennis (“Young & Old”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Dave Matthews (“Live Trax Vol 21”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – “American Idol” finalist Joshua Ledet.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Trisha Yearwood. Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Karmin (“Hello”). Rerun.
• “2012 Stanley Cup Final” (NBC/CBC) – Game 1 LA Kings @ NJ Devils.

TODAY’S TV SEASON FINALÉ:
✓ “America’s Next Top Model: British Invasion” (CW)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – Kristen Stewart tells “Chicago Sun Times” she listened to her power ballads to prepare for battle scenes in the upcoming movie “Snow White & The Huntsman” (opening June 1st). Quote: “I choreographed whole marches with the army behind me to Adele in my one ear.”
• Britney Spears – TMZ reports she demanded “X Factor” pay her more than Jennifer Lopez makes on “American Idol”. It’s thought she initially asked for as much as $20 million, before eventually settling on $15 mill, $3 million more than J-Lo gets.
• Carrie Underwood – She tells CMT.com she tries not to worry about the business side of her career and instead just concentrates on writing music that she enjoys singing. Quote: “I sing for myself, and if people like it, I guess they’re a lot like me.”
• Chris Brown – He’s selling his West Hollywood penthouse for $1,895,000. His neighbors, who’ve constantly been complaining about his noise and juvenile hijinks, must be thrilled.
• Kanye West – Word has it his girlfriend Kim Kardashian banned Rihanna from his dressing room during the recent “Watch the Throne” tour gigs at London’s O2 Arena due to Riri’s flirty reputation.
• The Killers – They’ll release their 4th studio album, “Battle Born”, this Fall. An exact release date is yet to be announced.
• Lana Del Rey – She’s pulled out of a performance in Tokyo, Japan this week due to ‘exhaustion’. She was originally booked to play the concert earlier this year, but it was postponed until this month. Now she’s backed out again.
• Madonna – Rehearsal recordings for her “MDNA Tour” (opening in Tel Aviv tomorrow) show her performing a medley of her hit “Express Yourself” and Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”, suggesting she’s about to make it clear that Gaga’s tune is totally derivative.
• One Direction – Their security is being increased so that each member has a personal bodyguard after they were mobbed by a gang of 60 screaming girls outside their NYC hotel. Liam Payne had his shirt ripped and Niall Horan was struck in the face and had his hair pulled.
• Prince – This week he thrilled fans in Melbourne, Australia by staging a surprise show in a small jazz club. He took the stage at 2 am and performed for almost 2 hours. He’s been touring Down Under throughout this month, playing a series of big arena shows.

DANGER IN THE KITCHEN:
Environmental hazards sicken or kill millions of people – soot or smog in the air, for example, or pollutants in drinking water. But the most dangerous stuff happens where the food is made – in people’s kitchens. That’s according to the World Health Organization, which says that the smoke and gases from cooking fires in the world’s poorest countries contribute to nearly 2 million deaths a year … more than malaria. Burning wood, crop waste, charcoal, or dung does the damage, filling homes with smoke and blackening walls. It’s women and children who suffer the most, because they are the ones tending the fires. (Some of the stuff coming out of our kitchen is sure to make you sick as well.)
– NPR.org

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Mailstrom’ – An overwhelming amount of email; an email deluge.
• ‘SIFI’ – An acronym for ‘Systematically Important Financial Institution’. A financial institution so crucial to the economy that its failure could cause a financial crisis. Some 29 banks are so designated, as they are deemed most globally important to the financial system.
• ‘Slacklining’ – A sport that involves walking or balancing on slack nylon suspended between 2 points. Different from tightrope walking as, instead of a taut line, it’s performed on inch-thick webbing that stretches and bounces.

THE LIMITS OF FRIENDSHIP:
Among primates brain size corresponds to social group size, and by comparing this relationship a natural group size for humans is about 150. Known as Dunbar’s number, it turns out to be surprisingly common in human social organization. Historically, it was the average size of English villages and the size of the basic military unit, the company. Although an individual’s social network may include many more people, 150 marks the limit on those with whom we can have a real relationship involving trust and obligation. (You say you have 392 ‘friends’? Liar.)
– “New Scientist”

SLOW SEQUELS:
The just-released “Men in Black III” has debuted a decade after the last episode; Ridley Scott’s “Prometheus”, opening June 8th, will revisit the universe he first created in 1979’s “Alien”. A few other long-awaited sequels that may – or may not – come to pass …
● “Mad Max 4: Fury Road” – 27 years since “Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome”.
● “Ghostbusters III” – 23 years since “Ghostbusters II”.
● “Austin Powers 4” – 10 years since “Austin Powers in Goldmember”.
● “Bill and Ted 3” – 21 years since “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey”.
● “The Goonies II” – 27 years since “The Goonies”.
– Condensed from Canoe.ca

MORE BS CREATIVE STATUS UPDATES:
Having trouble composing your thoughts for your social network status update? A few ideas …
• Mechanical pencils squeak too much. Biological pencils scream too much. Pens forever!
• For a great summer cocktail, combine 1 part rum to 2 parts pool water to make a drink called “Eh, why not?” (Best served over Lucky Charms.)
• You can tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile because an alligator has a wider snout, and crocodile is spelled and pronounced differently.
• Costume Idea: You dress up as ‘Waldo’, your girlfriend dresses up as ‘Carmen Sandiego’ and then you both don’t go to the lame costume party.
• In case you forget the order of the colors in the rainbow here’s a handy mnemonic device: JAAG. (Just Ask A Girl.)
• Never sleep facing up. Centipedes may mistake your closed eyelashes for one of their own and begin mating. Happens to 3-out-of-5 people a night.
– Excerpted from “Maxim”

BOSSES & BRIDES:
How many wives should a male CEO have? Experts say 2 is a good number, as a boss with alimony to pay might need to work harder. But 3 is too many, as getting divorced too often may be a sign of an unstable character. Marriage is a surprisingly good predictor of management style. A Wharton Business School study has found that the average unmarried boss invests 69% more than married counterparts, but his swashbuckling can be costly as the returns he generates are more volatile. (Your CV requirements as a potential exec: 1 MBA, 2 wives.)
– “Globe & Mail”

WANT TO FEEL LIKE A BOOMER?
The Age Lab at Massachusetts Institute of Technology has developed a hi-tech suit called ‘AGNES’ (Age Gain Now Empathy System) to help people and product designers feel what our senior years are like physically. Donning the suit gives the wearer the symptoms of a 70-something person suffering from advanced diabetes and osteo-arthritis. Some of the suit’s features …
• Plastic bands that restrict movement.
• Eyeglasses that make vision dull and yellowed.
• Shoes that throw the wearer off-balance.
• Harnesses that make the body hunch over.
• Gloves that make fingers clumsy and awkward.
As well as enabling the feel of old age, the suit serves as a warning of what can happen in later years if younger folks don’t take better care of themselves. (One other feature of the suit … the fly is permanently undone.)
– HealthDay.com

A CUT ABOVE:
Having cosmetic surgery to enhance what nature gave you is increasingly common. The USA has the most annual procedures (over 3.3 million in 2010) but on a per capita basis, South Korea tops the list. A Trend Monitor poll has found that 1-in-5 women in Seoul has gone under the knife. The rest of the top 5: Greece, Italy, Brazil, Colombia. Other rankings: USA (6), Canada (11), Australia (15), UK (21). There are 7 times more buttock operations in Brazil than elsewhere; and in Greece, penis enlargements are performed 10 times more often than average. (Seems more than the economy is shrinking.)
– “The Economist”

BS AMAZING ANIMAL FACTS:
✓ The giant squid, found usually in the deep reaches of the oceans, has the largest eye of any animal. (Other than Susan Sarandon.)
✓ A male gypsy moth can smell a female in heat up to a mile-and-a-half away. (Mmm, hot wings!)
✓ Starfish don’t have brains. (Neither do Kardashians.)
– ListsOPlenty.com

BS CHRONOMETER 05.30.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [48] Wynonna Judd (Christina Ciminella), Ashland KY, country singer (“To Be Loved By You”)/5 Grammy Awards with mom Naomi as The Judds (“Love Can Build a Bridge”)/sister of actress Ashley Judd

1964 [48] Tom Morello, Harlem NY, rock guitarist (Audioslave-“Doesn’t Remind Me”, Rage Against the Machine-“Guerrilla Radio”)/aka The Nightwatchman

1971 [41] Patrick Dahlheimer, York PA, alt-rock bassist (Live-“Turn My Head”, “Lightning Crashes”)

1974 [38] Cee-Lo Green (Thomas Callaway), Atlanta GA, TV personality (“The Voice” since 2011)/rapper-vocalist-songwriter-producer (“F— You”, Gnarls Barkley-“Crazy”, Goodie Mob-“Cell Therapy”)

1990 [22] Andrei Loktionov, Voskresensk, Russia, NHL center (Los Angeles Kings)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Senior Health & Fitness Day”, the 19th annual observance on the last Wednesday of May, promoting the importance of regular physical activity for seniors, and showcasing what local organizations are doing to improve the health & fitness of older adults in their communities.

• “Water a Flower Day”, because nourishing a little bit of natural beauty might be the only truly worthwhile thing you do all day.

• “World MS Day”, to create awareness that Multiple Sclerosis is a neurological disease that affects people differently. Many with MS are able to work for years after diagnosis. But many have to give up work, when greater understanding of the disease would enable them to stay.
NET: http://worldmsday.org

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [04] “Sex & The City: The Movie” opens in theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1981 [31] The ‘Compact Disc’ (CD) is introduced (and the 1st consumer pitches a fit trying to open the shrinkwrap)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1911 [101] 1st “Indianapolis 500” auto race (Ray Harroun wins with an average speed of 74.59 mph)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1979 [33] Ted Coombs begins a successful 5,193-mile roller-skate from Los Angeles to NYC

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Hug Your Cat Day
[Thurs] World No-Tobacco Day
[Fri] Go Barefoot Day
[Sat] Queen’s Diamond Jubilee begins (UK)
[Sun] MTV Movie Awards
This Week Is … Old-Time Player Piano Week
This Month Is … Teen Self-Esteem Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOU’RE GOING TO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE SINGLE:
• Although you know the batting average of every New York Yankee, you can’t remember your girlfriend’s dress size or the color of her eyes … or her name.
• In the ‘Mr Hairy Back’ pageant, you didn’t have to settle for the Congeniality Award.
• In your world, nothing says “I love you” like a head butt.
• Back in high school you were voted ‘Most Likely to Die Alone In a Big, Empty House’.
• You’re hoping to master the art of meeting women as soon as they make a PlayStation game about it.
• None of your 23 cats EVER likes your boyfriend.
• Who has time for dating when you’re building a life-size ‘Starship Enterprise’ out of Legos?
– Adapted from TopFive.com

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
You suffer from ‘misocainea’. Which do you have an abnormal aversion to?
a. TV talk shows.
b. New ideas. [CORRECT]
c. People with freckles.
– Halife.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ When you go to a party, are you generally overdressed or underdressed? Why?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Frog philosophy: Time’s fun when you’re having flies.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: When you’re struggling to get through the day, doing THIS can boost your energy level by 30%.
Answer: Brushing your teeth.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.