Wednesday, April 3, 2019 — Edition: #6428
The BS Press!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ 19 people were injured and police and paramedics were called to the scene of a Nipsey Hussle memorial after a loud noise sent people scrambling. Thousands showed up outside his clothing store — where the rapper was gunned down a day before. Video shows the crowd suddenly break into a panic and begin to run from the area. A noise that sounded like gunfire sent everyone scrambling, causing a stampede, and injuring a number of people in the process. There was no evidence of shots fired or gunshot wounds.
-TMZ
★ A week before Wrestlemania, John Oliver took on the WWE on Sunday’s episode of his HBO late-night show, “Last Week Tonight”. During his main story segment, he went on a lengthy rant against the organization for what he argued was a lack of concern about its athletes’ health and long-term health care. Oliver also noted that there is no off-season in which wrestlers are able to recover and argued that the WWE doesn’t provide for wrestlers’ long-term health care, showing clips of many who were not able to pay for much-needed procedures.
-MSN
★ The final season of “Modern Family” could be off to Colombia. Ed O’Neill, who plays Jay Pritchett, has teased that his character could be jetting off to Barranquilla for the show’s 11th and final season with his on-screen wife Sofia Vergara, who was born in the South American country but moved to Miami to pursue a modelling career. On the show, her character, Gloria is also a native of Columbia.
-ContactMusic
★ “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back Live” will tour with Oscar-winning composer John Williams’ musical score performed live to accompany the film. Following the success of 2018’s arena tour of “Star Wars: A New Hope Live with Orchestra”, the next instalment of the “Star Wars: Film Concert Series’ will travel around the UK, starting at Manchester Arena on September 27, before moving onto Leeds, Birmingham, Liverpool and Glasgow.
-ContactMusic
★ Cillian Murphy is reportedly in talks to join the “A Quiet Place” sequel. If the “Peaky Blinders” star signs on to appear in the film, he will join Emily Blunt in the movie about a family that has to learn how to survive in silence while living among monsters. John Krasinski, who wrote, directed and starred in the first film alongside his wife Blunt, is returning to write and direct the sequel.
-Canoe
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kevin Hart, Marshmello featuring Chvrches
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Alec Baldwin, Kelly Clarkson
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Lithgow, Stacey Abrams, Kevin Garrett
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Rich Eisen, the Strumbellas, Aaron Comess
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Colin Farrell, Woody Harrelson, Zachary Levi
• “Conan” (TBS): Nikki Glaser (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Meryl Streep (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Chelsea Clinton
• “The Talk” (CBS): Sanaa Lathan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Lauren Cohan, Zachary Levi, Abbie Cornish
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Sandra Oh, Jane Goodall, Rob Thomas
• “Survivor: Edge of Extinction” (CBS): The puppet master attempts to pull the strings on other castaways and one castaway struggles to find balance at an immunity challenge after exhaustion takes its toll.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Pink – has blasted “disgusting” commenters for their posts about her toddler son’s body. Appalled by the comments she received after posting an innocent family beach shot in which her 2-year-old son Jameson appeared sans bottoms, she took it down and slammed the current social media climate.
• Daddy Yankee — Canadian reggae-rapper Snow says he was cautious about allowing his career-defining track ‘Informer’ to be sampled by him on his new single ‘Con Calma’. Quote: “It was an honour this guy wanted to do the song over, but I was still thinking, ‘Let me hear how it sounds. But when I heard it, I thought — ‘Oh, this is fire.
• Rolling Stones – it has been revealed that their North American tour was postponed so Mick Jagger can have heart valve replacement surgery. The procedure, which involves the implementation of a stent, will take place in New York City on Friday. He is expected to make a full recovery. Sources say that Jagger is in “extraordinary physical condition.”
• Toto – will play an outdoor show in London in the grounds of the Royal Hospital Chelsea on June 13. A portion of the ticket sales from the annual event will go towards the care of Chelsea Pensioners, as well as the hospital. The Darkness will open.
• Queen – Casting is underway for the stage musical “We Will Rock You”. It will open in Winnipeg on Sept. 3, and stop in cities such as New York, Los Angeles, Denver and Las Vegas.
• Carrie Underwood — is back at work after welcoming her second child, son Jacob Bryan in January. She Tweeted on Monday: “today I go in for my first day of rehearsals for the #CryPretty360 tour! We play our first show exactly one month from today! It’s getting real!” She added the hashtags #LetsDoThis and #CantWait. Her May 1st show is in Greensboro NC.
• Jake Owen – is thrilled with the news that the baby that he and girlfriend Erica Hartlein are expecting in May is a girl, and they have already named her Paris. He also has a 6-year-old daughter named Pearl from his previous marriage to Lacey Buchanan, and says that he is “more calm this time, but it is “just as exciting.”
UNHAPPY WIFE, CRAPPY LIFE:
Everyone has heard the term “Happy wife, happy life.” Especially the men amongst us who are married. And it’s true. A study showed that a husband’s life satisfaction tended to be greater when his wife described their marriage as a happy one. But let’s take it a step further. Another study found that if you have a happy spouse, chances are that you will live longer. Why? There are probably several logical explanations. One is that when our spouse is happy, they are more likely to take care of us, especially in times of illness. They are also less likely to fight with us, thereby reducing our stress. And another possible reason that people with happy partners tend to live longer is this: Happy people tend to be more physically active. And the more active our partner is, the more active we tend to be as well.
(Do you want to know why I’ll live longer if my spouse is happy? Because if she is happy, she is less likely to kill me!)
(We were happy for 25 years. Then we met.)
-PsychologyToday
DYEING TO TRY IT:
In what just might be a reaction to the vanity we see so much of today with selfies and social media profiles and the expensive and risky surgeries that many women undergo, there is another, much more natural trend that you might find surprising: More and more women are choosing to stop coloring their hair. An article in the lifestyle site “APost” points out that in spite of the fact that for years, women have spent a lot of time and money on things like getting their nails done, plucking their eyebrows and wearing makeup, one aspect of their appearance that women often care most about is the quality and color of their hair. Whether it is putting in their extensions, using hair products, or spending a lot of money getting their color touched up, women put a lot of time and effort into their hair. But now, observers are pointing out that some women have stopped shaving, others have stopped plucking their eyebrows, and others have decided to go bare-faced. But by far the most drastic move is the fact that more women than ever are deciding to ditch the hair dye. Those who have done so say that greying hair is natural, beautiful and can be liberating.
(It’s about time! I was twelve years old before I knew that women could GET grey hair!)
(A lot of kids are about to find out that Mommy’s not a blonde!)
-APost
OLD-FASHIONED TERMS THAT PEOPLE DON’T USE ANYMORE:
✗ Tickety-boo: A-OK. All good! (Or it WAS until someone used that phrase…)
✗ Picture show: What people used to call movies. (Now a picture show might be your Instagram story!)
✗ Kick up your heels: To let loose and have a good time. (Paint the town red?)
✗ Know your onions: To know a lot about a subject. (And when NOT to use onions!)
✗ The bee’s knees: Excellent! Awesome! Stupendous! Amazing! (I was wondering why no one had called me that lately…)
✗ Guttle: To eat or drink noisily and greedily. (Great name for a buffet!)
✗ Giggle water: Alcoholic beverages. (Now how do you think they came up with that?)
(***See “BS Phone Starter”, below***)
-Wimp
DID YOU KNOW?
The London, UK Fire Brigade has urged the public to “use common sense” before dialing 999 (emergency) after receiving 659 calls from people locked in washrooms since 2016. In that time period, firefighters also had to rescue 17 children with their heads stuck in toilet seats, and one child with their head wedged in an actual potty.
-BBC
BS CHRONOMETER 04.03.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [85] Jane Goodall, London England, zoologist (iconic British primatologist, ethnologist, and anthropologist who lived with and studied the chimpanzees of East Africa)/UN Messenger of Peace/founder of the “Jane Goodall Institute”
1958 [61] Alec Baldwin, Massapequa NY, Movie/TV actor (“30 Rock” 2006-13)/‘President Trump’ on “Saturday Night Live” COMING UP…”Framing John DeLorean”, 2019
1961 [58] Eddie Murphy, Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Trading Places”, “Beverly Hills Cop”)/former TV comedian (“Saturday Night Live” 1980-84) COMING UP…”Dolemite Is My Name”, 2019
1968 [51] Sebastian Bach, Freeport, Bahamas (raised in Peterborough, ON), rock singer (Skid Row – ‘I Remember You’)
1972 [47] Jennie Garth, Urbana IL, TV actress (“Beverly Hills, 90210” 1990-2000, “90210” 2008-10)
1973 [46] Adam Scott, Santa Cruz CA, TV actor (“Parks and Recreation” 2010-2015, “Big Little Lies” since 2017)
1982 [37] Cobie (Jacoba) Smulders, Vancouver BC, TV actress (“How I Met Your Mother” 2005-14)/movie actress (“The Avengers”) COMING UP…”Spider-Man: Far From Home”, 2019
1985 [34] Leona Lewis, London UK, pop singer (‘Bleeding Love’)/“X Factor UK” winner (2006)
1986 [33] Amanda Bynes, Thousand Oaks CA, movie actress (“Easy A”, “She’s the Man)
1998 [21] Paris Jackson, Beverly Hills CA, model/media personality/actress (“The Space Between”)/daughter of Michael Jackson)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Don’t Go to Work Unless It’s Fun Day”, an annual observance encouraging us to lighten up at the office and actually enjoy work, not just endure it. (If anybody shows up…)
• “Armenian Appreciation Day”, honoring the country bordering the Black Sea which re-gained its independence in 1991.
•“National Chocolate Mousse Day”, recognizes the decadent dessert that gained popularity in France in the 1800s (good training for Easter!)
•“Find a Rainbow Day”, although I’m sure you would rather find the pot o’gold at the ends!
• “American Circus Day”, Englishman John Bill Ricketts promised to open a circus in the newly formed United States, and on April 3, 1793 he produced the first performance in Philadelphia. This early circus emphasized equestrian feats and was geared toward adults, unlike today’s “family” shows.
• “National Walking Day”, The American Heart Association sponsors this day to remind people about the health benefits of taking a walk. Wear your sneakers (or take them with you) to work, and at some point in the day, you are encouraged to take a 30-minute walk.
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] International Carrot Day
[Thurs] Hug a Newsperson Day
[Fri] First Contact Day
[Fri] Bell Bottoms Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [10] “Fast & Furious”, the 4th film in the franchise, has a record-breaking $72.5 million opening weekend
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2007 [12] Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards denies to MTV his own earlier claim that he once snorted the ashes of his late father (maybe smoked them?)
2008 [11] Mariah Carey’s ‘Touch My Body’ goes to #1, beating Elvis Presley’s old solo artist record of 17 chart-topping singles (she now has 18; only The Beatles have more with 20)
2009 [10] A Malawian court rejects Madonna’s attempt to adopt a 2nd child from the African nation after local rights groups protested her adoption of David Banda 2 years earlier (but she did manage to adopt a girl that year, and twin girls in 2017)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1973 [46] The first portable cell phone call is made in New York City
2010 [09] Apple releases its multi-touch tablet computer, the ‘iPad’ (3 million devices are sold within the first 80 days of its release)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2003 [16] An Oklahoma couple (aged 95 & 94) finally gets married after 77 years of living together (“Gummy, I’ve decided I wanna make you an honest woman …”)
2007 [12] A French TGV train sets an official new ‘Conventional-Train World Speed Record’ … 574.8 km/h (357.2 mph)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ On average, a person will inhale about 44 pounds of dust in their lifetime.
✓ Honey is used sometimes for antifreeze mixtures and in the center of golf balls.
✓ Aluminum used to be more valuable than gold.
✓ A rat can fall from a five story building without injury.
✓ 68 percent of a Twinkie is air.
✓ When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour.
-RandomFactGenerator
BS WORST THINGS TO AWAKEN TO:
• Your dog making that heaving sound
• A hangover and construction next door
• Your toddler yelling “uh-oh” from the kitchen
• A bedroom you’ve never seen before
• A missing kidney
• All your passengers screaming at you.
• The realization that you’ve now hit “snooze” 15 times
• Lorena Bobbitt
• Decaf
-Twitter
Best of ‘BS’. . .
BS SIGNS YOU’RE NOT 18 ANYMORE:
• Instead of wings, Redbull just gives you heartburn
• You have a favorite grocery store
• You consider ibuprofen the fifth food group
• Your marijuana actually IS medicinal
• You find teenagers freakin’ annoying!
• All your favorite TV shows are being “rebooted”
• You’re happy your plans got cancelled
• You don’t recognize half the names on this year’s Coachella lineup.
• Your friends are having babies on purpose
• When someone calls you after 9pm, you think it’s an emergency
• Farts start becoming less trustworthy
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018
BS PHONE STARTER:
What ‘old timey’ thing would you like to see come back?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
For every action, there is an equal and opposite over-reaction.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: One in seven people have quit a job for THIS reason. What?
Answer: A failed office romance
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Making mistakes is better than faking perfections.