“The Bull Sheet” is celebrating it’s 16th birthday. “BS” began April 1st, 1993 with the idea that there was a need for quality radio show prep. Instead of a bunch of lame jokes, we decided to offer up-to-the-minute lifestyle & entertainment info and usable discussion topics. We must be doing something right because, thanks to you, “BS” is now used by radio stations worldwide.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
A spokesperson for “American Idol” has now confirmed a “New York Times” story claiming those cheesy group song & dance numbers on the show are canned, admitting the contestants ‘sing along to their own prerecorded vocal track during the group performances only’ (this is about as surprising as hearing that Paula Abdul’s brain has been declared legally dead) . . . Actress-singer Queen Latifah is facing 2 separate lawsuits accusing her of failing to pay her makeup artist & a stylist over $1 million in fees, but the Queen’s rep says the suits ‘have no merit’ (BS translation: Let’s see if you can afford a better lawyer than ours) . . . Actress Alyson Hannigan (“How I Met Your Mother”) had her first child on her 35th birthday, she & actor-hubby Alexis Denisof naming the poor girl ‘Satyana’ (second choice was ‘Beelzebubba’) . . . 23-year-old actor Chace Crawford (“Gossip Girl”) has reportedly auditioned to fill Zac Efron’s dancing shoes in the planned remake of the 1984 film “Footloose” after the “High School Musical” star bailed (we say bring back Kevin Bacon, now 50) . . . A sequel to the JJ Abrams’ new “Star Trek” movie has already been given the greenlight, even though the first pic hasn’t come out yet (global release May 8th) . . . After facing eviction, former “Grey’s Anatomy” actor Isaiah Washington has moved out of his Venice CA home, 2 housekeepers being spotted packing up boxes (he’s 100-grand behind in rent and has TWO housekeepers?) . . . The vampire romance movie “Twilight” is now the biggest home release of the year, selling 5.6 million units in its first week . . . And producers of the sequel “Twilight Saga: New Moon” have had to hire a pair of Canadian Mounties to safeguard star Robert Pattinson from overzealous female fans (‘Twi-hards‘) while shooting on location on Vancouver Island (apparently his well-documented B-O shield just isn’t doing the job).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Lady Gaga performs “Poker Face”; reigning “Idol” David Cook sings his new single “Come Back to Me”; then another contestant goes home … barring an overruling by the judges.
• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – They kick off their “Working on a Dream” North American tour in San Jose CA.
• “Country Thunder” – The huge 4-day country music festival begins in Florence AZ. Among those performing: Alan Jackson, Blake Shelton, Montgomery Gentry, Rodney Atkins, Tim McGraw, Tracy Lawrence, and Zac Brown Band. Tonight’s headlining act is Diamond Rio.
NET: http://www.countrythunder.com
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Ex-Trick Pony country singer Heidi Newfield is on.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (CBS/A Channel) – Stevie Nicks talks about Fleetwood Mac’s “Unleashed” reunion tour.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Jazz singer Diana Krall plugs her just-released album “Quiet Nights”.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Keith Urban promotes his new album “Defying Gravity”; then later performs on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Outkast – Andre 3000 has been charged with driving his Porsche 109 mph in a 65 mph zone in suburban Atlanta GA. His excuse? He missed an exit and had to turn the car around.
• T-Pain – He lost 4 teeth and suffered cuts & bruises after his golf cart flipped over in a backstage accident in San Jose CA on the weekend. He ended up in hospital for emergency dental surgery but was back onstage a day later.
• Travis Barker – According to his Twitter page, he’s working on a song with Busta Rhymes for the soundtrack to “Transformers 2: Revenge Of the Fallen“ (out June 24th).

HOW YOU CAN MEND A BROKEN HEART:
Scientists in Providence, Rhode Island say they can help you recover from a broken heart. The researchers studied 70 patients with ‘Broken Heart Syndrome’, a recognized condition likely caused by a surge in stress hormones. All these patients recovered, most after being given aspirin or heart drugs, even though 20% were deemed critically ill. Known medically as ‘Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy’, the syndrome was first described by Japanese researchers in the early 1990s. The new study finds the best treatment is use of medications, respirators and other critical devices in the first 48 hours, similar to many other heart conditions. (We prescribe chocolate for women, and for guys … beer.)
– BBC News

THINGS NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT MARRIAGE:
• You will sometimes look at the person lying next to you and wonder … Is this it? Forever?
• You’ll work harder on your relationship than you ever imagined.
• You will sometimes go to bed mad … and maybe even wake up madder.
• You will go without sex – sometimes for a long time – and that can be okay.
• Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.
• A great marriage doesn’t mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.
• You’ll eventually realize that you can only change yourself.
• As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you’re really made of.
– Condensed from “Redbook”

SO YOU SODOKU DO YOU?
Retired professor & computer scientist James Crook of South Carolina has developed a formula for solving any Sudoku problem, no matter how difficult. But don’t expect this to ruin the fun for puzzling fans. His algorithm involves 5 steps and requires 9 pages to detail. The system involves marking up empty cells in a Sudoku grid with all possible remaining numbers and, by comparing number sets, then work through a ‘tree’ of options that eventually produces a solution. Sure, it works, but it typically takes about an hour while most Sudoku aficionados can normally knock off a puzzle in 20 minutes or less. (Now he’s working on a 72-page way to solve a tic-tac-toe game in just under 3 months.)
– “Times of London”

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
• 50% of guys say they’d rather date an attractive woman than a smart one because they feel pressure from their friends. (Plus a smart one would be intelligent enough to say no.)
• 33% of us will forget to use deodorant today. (If the other 2 people in the room don’t stink … it’s you!)
• 30% of women say the #1 thing their guy can do to get them ‘in the mood’ is a foot rub. (But not a rub with a foot.)
• 17% of us have used the Internet to sell something. (Such as ourselves.)
• 8% of husbands have painted their wives’ toenails. (Although few want to admit it.)
• 6% of single women would consider proposing to a man. (… any man.)

THANKS FOR THE MEGA-MEMORIES:
People suffering from ‘Hyperthymestia’ or ‘Super Autobiographical Memory’ can remember almost everything that’s happened during their lifetime. University of California doctors test for the condition with 60 questions that only those with super memory have a chance of answering. Among them: What was the date and location of the Palestinian guerillas’ killing of Israeli athletes? (Munich. September 5, 1972.) The unusual syndrome has been discovered in just 4 people worldwide. (The upside: You can win “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” blindfolded. The downside: You can never, ever, ever forget that embarrassing moment when you broke wind during your wedding.)
– “Daily Telegraph“

SURPRISING SUPERFOODS:
• Avocados – Sure, this buttery fruit is high in fat but it’s primarily monounsaturated fat which means it doesn’t clog arteries. It also offers potassium, plus vitamins B, E, and K.
• Black Tea – Although green tea gets all the hype, the more popular black tea has ingredients  found to be effective in preventing dementia and lowering cholesterol.
• Buckwheat Honey – Unlike light honey, dark honey does not cause a spike in the body’s sugar levels. It’s also an anti-inflammatory packed with anti-oxidants.
• Eggs – Once associated with high cholesterol and heart disease but more recent studies have found that notion to be false. A source of vitamin D, sulfur and other useful minerals.
• Pumpkin – This highly-nutritious fruit contains antioxidants as well as other ingredients that help prevent eye disease.
• Tomato Paste – No-salt or low-salt tomato paste has the highest concentration of lycopene of all tomatoes or tomato products. It’s a natural blood thinner that helps resist certain diseases.
• Wasabi – Japanese horseradish has several potential health benefits. It’s said to help prevent everything from asthma to ulcers and also has antibacterial properties.
– Condensed from “Forbes Magazine”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Tomato ketchup is a good conditioner for the hair. It also helps get rid of the greenish tinge that some blond-haired people get after swimming in chlorinated water.
– GreatFacts.com

BS CHRONOMETER 04.01.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [56] Barry Sonnenfeld, NYC, movie director (“Men in Black”, “Get Shorty”)/movie producer (“Enchanted”)/TV producer (“Pushing Daisies”)

1971 [38] Method Man (Clifford Smith), NYC, rapper (w/Mary J Blige-“I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need”, Wu-Tang Clan-“Protect Ya Neck”)/movie actor (“Meet the Spartans”, “Garden State”)/TV actor (“The Wire” 2006-08)/TV personality (“Method & Red” 2004-05)

1973 [36] Joe Francis, Laguna Beach CA, adult video producer (“Girls Gone Wild”)/ex-con who’s still under indictment for felony tax evasion (trial scheduled to begin yesterday in LA)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “April Fool’s Day”. The custom of playing practical jokes on friends was part of the celebrations in ancient Rome on March 25th, known as “Hilaria”. The timing seems related to the coming of Spring, when nature fools us with sudden changes. A few foolish facts …
– Many say the observance originated with the reform of the calendar when “New Year’s Day” was moved from April 1 to January 1. Those who clung to the old “New Year’s Day” were scoffed at as ‘fools’ and sent fake party invitations and prank gifts. That tradition began in France around 1564, where an ‘April Fool’ is called a ‘poisson d’avril’ (April fish). The French fool friends by taping a paper fish to their backs. When you see one you yell, ‘Poisson d’avril!’.
– Widespread observance began in 18th-century England, where tricks were allowed to be played only in the morning and if one was played on you, you were known as a ‘noodle’.
– In Scotland, April Fools Day is 48-hours-long and you are called an ‘April Gowk’, another name for a cuckoo bird. The 2nd day is known as ‘Taily Day’ because it’s dedicated to pranks involving the buttocks. It’s lasting gift to posterior posterity is the ‘Kick Me’ sign.
– In India, the final day of the “Feast of Huli” is also traditionally celebrated by acts of mischief.

• “Humor Month” and “National Laugh Week” begin, both focusing on the therapeutic value and vital need for laughter and humor in healthcare.

• “International Edible Book Festival” (today and/or any day through the 5th), the 9th annual event when edible books are exhibited, then tea or coffee is served … and the books are consumed. Books are made from all manner of foodstuffs – beets, lettuce, bologna, toast, liver, etc. Events are scheduled in numerous countries including Canada, China, France, India, Russia, and the USA. Check here for a place in your area where you can eat some tasty tomes …
NET: http://www.books2eat.com

• “National Sleep Day”, to encourage the sleep-deprived to get ‘8 Zs, please’.

• “One Cent Day”, celebrating the world’s most useless currency … the penny. It’s now said to cost twice as much to make one as it does to buy one.

• “Repot Your Plant Day” … or is it “Replant Your Pot Day”? We can never get it straight.

• “St Stupid’s Day”, an annual celebration on April 1st in San Francisco CA since 1980, when a wacky parade is held. The occasion’s dim-witted activities include the ‘high four’ handshake (hand up, palm towards partner, fold thumb across palm, slap high four, say “Ouch!”).
NET: http://saintstupid.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [04] The movie version of “Sin City” opens, based on Frank Miller’s graphic book series (cast includes Benicio Del Toro, Bruce Willis, Clive Owen, Jessica Alba, and Mickey Rourke)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1970 [39] John Lennon & Yoko Ono release an “April Fools Day” statement claiming they’re about to undergo side-by-side sex-change operations

1991 [18] In an “April Fool’s Day” prank, Elton John surprises Rod Stewart onstage in London …  dressed in drag

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1929 [80] 1st ‘Yo-Yo’ developed as a toy by Louie Marx (originally a weapon in the Phillippines)

1949 [60] Earl Tupper 1st patents ‘Tupperware’ (original Tupperware is now being collected as an antique)

1997 [12] ‘Harmonized Sales Tax’ combining GST & PST goes into effect in Atlantic provinces (now coming soon to Ontario!)

1999 [10] Canada’s new territory ‘Nunavut’ officially splits from the Northwest Territories

2001 [08] The Netherlands becomes the 1st country to legalize same-sex marriages (a year later to the day, it becomes the first country to legalize euthanasia)

2004 [05] Google introduces its ‘gmail’ product to the public (many think it’s an April Fool’s joke)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1930 [79] Chicago Cub Leo Hartnett breaks ‘Altitude Record for a Catch’ by catching a baseball dropped from a Goodyear blimp hovering 800 feet over Los Angeles (unfortunately the force of the catch shatters his jawbone!)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] “ER” series finalé (NBC)
[Thurs] International Children’s Book Day
[Thurs] Reconciliation Day
[Fri] Hospital Admitting Clerks Day
[Fri] “Adventureland”, “Fast & Furious” open in theaters
This Week Is … Anonymous Giving Week
This Month Is … Home Improvement Month

BULL’S BITS

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BS SUBSTITUTES:
A few terms the corporate world might consider using instead of the dead-horse-flogged expression ‘going forward’ …
• From now on …
• In the future …
• After this meeting.
• Tomorrow.
• When the Revolution comes …
• Henceforth …
• Subsequently …
• Soon.
• Until our children’s children learn to hunt buffalo.
• Later.
– Thanks to Kevin Shay

BS RANDOM JOKE:
30 isn’t old … old is needing a fire permit for your birthday cake.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which once-beloved TV show have you given up on this season?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Sales of THIS men’s fashion item have recently increased for the first time in 15 years.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Clip-on ties.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.