Bull Works!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Dancer-turned country singer Julianne Hough has announced she’s officially leaving ABC-TV’s “Dancing With the Stars” (because she no longer wants to dance with them, she wants to BE one) . . . 19-year-old actor Jamie Waylett, who has played ‘Vincent Crabbe’ in all 5 “Harry Potter” films, has been busted with a friend in London with 8 bags of cannabis in their car, an arrest that led to the discovery of a home-based grow-op (say g’bye to final 2 films!) . . . 41-year-old New Zealand-born “Amazing Race” (CBS) host Phil Keoghan [‘KOH-gahn’] is proving his own traveling tenacity by cycling across America from LA to NYC, where he’s scheduled to arrive May 9th (he’s blogging daily at http://www.philridesacrossamerica.com/daily_blog.html) . . . NBC-TV’s little-seen drama “Kings”, which has disappointed on Sunday nights, is now being exiled to Saturdays (just before euthanasia) . . . Courtney Love’s lawyer tells “E! News” she’s preparing to file a lawsuit on behalf of herself & daughter Frances Bean Cobain against a slew of unspecified parties she claims looted millions from her late husband Kurt Cobain’s estate (better look in the mirror first, hon’) . . . Spoof band Spinal Tap (Harry Shearer, Christopher Guest & Michael McKean) has announced a new ‘World Tour’ consisting of a single June date at London’s Wembley Arena to mark the 25th anniversary of the mockumentary film “This is Spinal Tap” (their previously announced “Unwigged & Unplugged” Summer tour of North America is not as the band).
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Southland” (NBC/CTV) – Premiere of a new crime drama which takes over the slot “ER” held for 15 years. Created by John Wells, producer of “ER”, “West Wing”, “Third Watch”, etc. Stars Benjamin McKenzie (“The OC” 2003-07).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Coldplay – They’re the latest band to have their music included in the popular iPhone app game “Tap Tap’s Revenge”.
• Jessica Simpson – She’s no longer on the Sony Music Nashville artist roster and her plans for continuing her country music career are not immediately known. (Next!)
• Mariah Carey – Today she appears on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel).
• Miley Cyrus – This morning she plugs tomorrow’s opening of “Hannah Montana: The Movie” on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV). According to a new online survey by PopEater.com, she’s now the ‘Favorite Young Star’, ahead of the Jonas Bros and Britney Spears, but Taylor Swift has been voted the young celeb who has the ‘Best Influence’.
• Robin Thicke – The R&B singer is interviewed tonight on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Velvet Revolver – Bass player Duff McKagan says they kicked frontman Scott Weiland out when it became clear he couldn’t stay away from dope & booze. Though it happened a year ago and they’ve been hunting for a replacement ever since, he still thinks it was the right decision.
• The Who – Iconic guitarist Pete Townshend is facing a $58-million court battle after his estranged wife, Karen Astley, has hired Paul McCartney’s divorce lawyer to fight for a share of his fortune. The couple split in 1994 but stayed married and remained friends …. until now.
COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Hemingway & Fuentes” – Anthony Hopkins is set to play revered author/adventurer Ernest Hemingway in a new indie movie directed by actor Andy Garcia. Garcia also co-wrote the script with Hemingway’s niece, author Hilary Hemingway, and will co-star as fishing-boat captain Gregorio Fuentes, believed to be the inspiration for Hemingway’s ‘Santiago’ character in “The Old Man & The Sea”. Actress Annette Bening is in talks to play Hemingway’s wife Mary Welsh.
• “Inception” – “The Dark Knight” director Christopher Nolan has signed a 7-figure deal to direct & write the screenplay for this contemporary sci-fi action feature set ‘within the architecture of the mind’. Leonardo DiCaprio will star alongside Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard (“La Vie En Rose”), Ellen Page (“Juno”) and Cillian Murphy (“28 Days Later”). Production is set to begin this Summer with an eye toward a 2010 release.
• “Red Tails” – Lucasfilm’s upcoming WW2 drama tells the story of the Tuskegee Airmen, the first-ever squadron of African-American pilots & crewmen, who dealt with racial prejudice along with the pressures of war. Cuba Gooding Jr (“Jerry Maguire”) and Terrence Howard (“Hustle & Flow”) will star; rappers Method Man and Ne-Yo are also in the cast. The film’s shooting in Europe for a planned release later this year.
• “Twelve” – The bigscreen adaption of Nick McDonell’s novel about teenage life in NYC will feature a big-name cast, including Kiefer Sutherland (“24“), rapper 50 Cent (“In Da Club”), Chace Crawford (“Gossip Girl”), Emma Roberts (niece of actress Julia Roberts), and Rory Culkin (brother of former child star Macaulay Culkin). The flick’s due to open in 2010.
• “The Three Stooges” – Jim Carrey is on a doughnut diet in order to pack on pounds to play ‘Curly’ in this upcoming Farrelly Bros film about the legendary slapstick trio who made short-film comedies from the 1930s through the 1960s. In all, Carrey hopes to gain 40-to-50 lbs. The movie will co-star Sean Penn as ‘Larry’ and Benicio Del Toro as the mean brother ‘Moe’. Shooting is scheduled to start this Fall for a 2010 release.
HURRAY, SLOUGHING OFF IS GOOD!
According to new research from Australia’s University of Melbourne, surfing the net at work can actually make employees more productive. The study has found that employees who engage in ‘WILB’ (‘Workplace Internet Leisure Browsing’) within reasonable time limits – defined as less than 20% of the workday – are 9% more productive overall than those who don’t. The researchers reason that’s because any short and unobtrusive break from work enables the mind to rest and leads to higher concentration overall during a day’s work. (Excuse me while I take 5 …)
– Reuters
HEY, DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?
Here’s some news that can’t possibly be true … or can it? A new study claims that men actually gossip more than women, averaging 76 minutes a day gossiping with friends and co-workers compared to 52 minutes for women. The study has also discovered the most popular topics for idle chit-chat – men talk about drunken friends’ antics or the hottest woman in the office; women like to complain about other women or discuss which friend is gaining weight. (So who’s more vicious?)
– “Curious Times”
RADIO’S DEAR ABBY:
7-year-old Elaina Smith has become the UK’s youngest advice-giver on radio (what’s known in Britain as an ‘Agony Aunt’). Straight-talking Smith landed the gig after hearing morning show host Andy Goulding on Coventry’s Mercia FM ask for listeners’ advice for a woman going through a breakup. Elaina phoned the station and urged her to go out bowling with friends and drink a mug of milk. Her solution proved so popular she’s been given a weekly slot on the show and now counsels thousands of adult listeners. Some of Elaina’s top tips …
• How to dump your boyfriend: “Change your locks & phone number and pretend you’re not in.”
• What to do with a lazy, smelly brother: “Tell him to get a job … and to stop being smelly because people won’t want to play with him because they will get his smelliness.”
• What to do when your BF dumps you for your best friend: “Life’s too short to be upset with a boy. His new girlfriend will always be thinking if he cheated with her then he will cheat again.”
• How to get a man: “Go into town and shake your booty on the dancefloor and listen to “High School Musical”. Make sure he’s got money and a big car.”
(With the right kid, this would work on any station!)
– Mail Online
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Earth’s ozone layer averages just 3 mm (1/8 inch) thick.
• The living do not outnumber the dead. It’s estimated about 60 billion people have died in total.
• A diamond will break if you hit it with a hammer. (Studio experiment!)
– DidYouKnow.org
BS CHRONOMETER 04.09.09
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1926 [83] Hugh Hefner, Chicago IL, “Playboy” magazine founder/reality TV show personality (“The Girls Next Door”)
1954 [55] Dennis Quaid, Houston TX, movie actor (“Flight Of the Phoenix”, “Yours, Mine & Ours”)/formerly married to actress Meg Ryan (1991-2001)/brother of actor Randy Quaid UPCOMING: “GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra” (August 7th).
1966 [43] Cynthia Nixon, NYC, movie actress (“Sex & the City: The Movie”)/TV actress (‘Miranda Hobbes’ on “Sex & the City” 1998-2004)
1977 [32] Gerard Way, Summit NJ, alt-rock singer (My Chemical Romance-“Famous Last Words”, “Welcome to the Black Parade”)
1986 [23] Leighton Meester, Marco Island FL, TV actress (‘Blair Waldorf’ on “Gossip Girl” since 2007)
1987 [22] Jesse McCartney, Ardslet NY, pop singer (“How Do You Sleep?”, “Leavin’”)/songwriter (co-wrote “Bleeding Love”)/movie actor (“Horton Hears a Who!”)/2009 Kids’ Choice Award for ‘Favorite Male Singer’ COMING UP: Voices ‘Theodore’ in the animated film “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakuel” (December 25th).
1990 [19] Kristen Stewart, LA CA, movie actress (“Adventureland”, Twilight”) COMING UP: Reprises her role as ‘Bella Swan’ in the sequel “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” (November 20th), now filming.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Astronauts Day”, celebrating the dedication & courage of those who dare to dream and reach for the stars … while wearing diapers.
• “Cherish an Antique Day”, one of the few things you can buy that increases in value the older it gets.
• “Former Prisoner of War Recognition Day”, observed annually to commemorate the outstanding sacrifices made by members of the armed forces who’ve been held captive.
• “Masters Golf Tournament” begins, the 73rd held in Augusta GA. Sunday’s winner will take home the prestigious ‘green jacket’ … and a whole whack of cash.
• “Name Yourself Day”, a day for anybody with a name they hate to tag themselves with a brand new label. Have people with weird names call in, then help re-name them using the perfect tool – the Internet ‘Random Name Generator’. You can even set the ‘obscurity factor’ from 1-to-99.
NET: http://www.kleimo.com/random/name.cfm
• “National Alcohol Screening Day”, an annual program that aims to encourage college students to take a look at the way they use alcohol, so that they may take steps to reduce their alcohol intake if necessary. The anonymous testing can be done online.
NET: http://www.nationalalcoholscreeningday.org
• “Pink Moon”, the Full Moon of April named for the herb moss pink, or wild ground phlox, one of the earliest widespread flowers of Spring. Other names for this month’s Full Moon include the ‘Sprouting Grass Moon’, the ‘Egg Moon’, and the ‘Fish Moon’.
• “Vimy Ridge Day” in Canada, commemorating the 4-day WW1 ‘Battle of Vimy Ridge’ (1917) in France, during which close to 3,600 members of the Canadian Corps lost their lives. A 250-acre portion of the battleground now serves as a memorial park and site of the Canadian National Vimy Memorial.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [04] Britain’s Prince Charles & Camilla Parker Bowles wed in Windsor, England
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1977 [32] Abba’s “Dancing Queen” reaches #1 on pop charts
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1945 [64] NFL makes socks mandatory for all football players (the next season … pants!)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [17] ‘Heaviest Chocolate Easter Egg’ weighs 10,483 lbs and measures over 23-ft-high (Ringwood, Australia)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Good Friday (Christian)
[Fri] Ex-Spouse’s Day
[Fri] Sibling Day
[Fri] Salvation Army Founder’s Day
[Sat] Barbershop Quartet Day
[Sat] World Parkinson’s Disease Day
[Sun] Easter (Christian)
This Week Is … Be Kind to Animals Week
This Month Is … Sea Cadet Month
BULL’S BITS
TOP TWEETS:
A sampling of recent Twitter.com messages by comedians …
• Penn Jillette (magicians Penn & Teller) – “Best compliment at the Rio, from a guy in a cowboy hat, ‘I’ve gutted a lot of deer and you’re ‘Sawing a Woman into Halves’ was perfect’.”
• Alan Carr – “Regretting eating that extra portion of tenderstem broccoli, got awful wind. Nearly blew out my scented candle.”
• Stephen Colbert (“The Colbert Report”) – “Remember kids! In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant.”
• John Cleese (former “Monty Python”) – “Thank you everyone for the messages. Remember I am practically dead, barely functional.”
• Jimmy Fallon (“Late Night With Jimmy Fallon”) – “I was never a waiter. I was a bag boy, bottle return boy and a video store clerk. BTW no disrespect to waiters. Hardest job.”
• John Hodgman (“The Daily Show”) – “A young child with a high fever pointed out to me that the ‘Wicked Witch of the West’ is actually a Wiccan.”
• Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) – “What does Monica Lewinski say to her new boyfriend? ‘It’s close, but it’s no cigar’.”
• Mike Bridenstine – “Ryan Seacrest interviewing Miley Cyrus is like watching sh– interview diarrhea.”
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is sex for money usually costs less.
BS U-PICK EASTER QUIZ:
• The #1 recipients of Easter cards are …
a. Parents.
b. Spouses.
c. Grandchildren. [CORRECT]
d. Bunnies who lay eggs.
– GreetingCard.org
• Song & dance man Gene Kelly dropped out of the classic movie musical “Easter Parade” (1948) and was replaced 3 days later by Fred Astaire because …
a. He broke an ankle playing volleyball. [CORRECT]
b. He couldn’t get medical insurance to cover him on the set.
c. He thought dance partner Judy Garland smelled bad.
d. He decided to stop acting like a wuss and be a manly man.
– TheJudyRoom.com
BS PHONE STARTER:
What rudeness related to new technology would you like to see eliminated? (Rapper Buster Rhymes, of all people, worries that technology is ‘dehumanizing’ us. His pet peeves include fans taking candid cellphone photos without asking permission; and people texting back because they don’t want to answer a phone call. And what about people who, right in the middle of a conversation, suddenly stop mid-sentence to answer a call or text?)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A woman’s WHAT is 30% smaller than a man’s?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Voice box. The female larynx is smaller and located higher in the throat, the reason women don’t have a prominent ‘Adam’s Apple’. This also explains why female voices are higher-pitched. (“Allure Magazine”)
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
What you enjoy is much more important then what you have.