BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Now that “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” is set to open in theaters Friday, director Gavin Hood says he wants to expand on other characters in future films, including Ryan Reynold’s alter-ego ‘Deadpool’ & Liev Schreiber’s ‘Sabretooth’ (and how about Halle Berry’s ‘Storm’?) . . . Actor Mel Gibson has finally revealed who his Russian girlfriend is, showing up at the LA premiere of “Wolverine” with brunette beauty Oksana Grigorieva, who just happens to be signed to his record label Icon . . . “Life & Style” magazine reports newlywed “The Hills” star Heidi Montag is in talks with “Playboy” about posing in the mag for a whopping $500,000, apparently with the encouragement of new hubby Spencer Pratt (to attract publicity she’d put her mother up for auction on eBay) . . . Speaking of “The Hills”, it’s now been confirmed it’s returning next year, even though Lauren Conrad isn’t (bad news & good news) . . . Activist actress Mia Farrow says she’s determined to last at least 16 days into her hunger strike, to honor the 16 aid organizations now banned from helping refugees in Darfur, Sudan (today is day 4) . . . Actress Sarah Jessica Parker says she feels ‘lucky & privileged’ to be expecting twins because her actor-husband Matthew Broderick is such a fantastic father (BS translation: “Let’s see you cheat with that kind of pressure on you, stage boy!”) . . . And 20-year-old “High School Musical” star Vanessa Anne Hudgens tells the new issue of “Self” that she’s proud of what she’s got going on below the waist, especially her strong legs and ‘goat toe’ (what is she, some kind of satyr?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Hollywood Auction” – A 2-day Profiles in History movie memorabilia sale gets underway in Calabasas Hills CA and online. Items include Pamela Anderson’s “Baywatch” swimsuit (expected to fetch $2,900); Angelina Jolie’s “Tomb Raider” pistols ($6,000); ‘Darth Maul’s light-saber from “Star Wars” ($60,000); and Harrison Ford’s “Blade Runner” gun ($125,000).
• “The Hour” (CBC) – The Killers are featured on a rerun show.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Brit singer Adele (“Chasing Pavements”) is a guest.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – UK indie rock band Starsailor performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Britney Spears – Her former ‘manager’ (pusher?), Sam Lutfi, has now been ordered to stay away from her for 3 years in a new restraining order issued by an LA Superior Court judge.
• Eminem – He says he’s forcing himself to restrict his daily workouts after becoming ‘obsessed’ with running on a treadmill. (We should ne so lucky.)
• Jason Aldean – The “She’s Country” singer will be joined by Canadian rock icon Bryan Adams for an episode of “CMT Crossroads” taping in early May and scheduled to premiere June 26th.
• Lady GaGa – She says she struggles to find boyfriends because she has no confidence around men. (If you take off all the weird costumes & makeup goo … there’s a reason.)
• Mariah Carey – Today she & Nick Cannon celebrate their 1st wedding anniversary. (The longest she’s employed a lackey so far.)

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Chinese Zodiac” – 55-year-old martial arts actor Jackie Chan has announced his landmark 100th movie project, a collaboration with “Rumble In the Bronx” director Stanley Tong. Chan will ‘co-direct’ the film when shooting begins in China, Austria, and France.
• “Drop Dead Fred” – British actor/comedian Russell Brand (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall”) is signed for a remake of a little-seen 1991 comedy about a woman who returns to her family home after losing her job & husband in a single lunch hour. There she’s reunited with the havoc-causing imaginary friend she had as a child (Brand). Further casting is unannounced.
• “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows” – Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson & Rupert Grint are currently filming the final 2-part movie of the franchise. Because its epilogue takes place 19 years in the future when the characters are in their 30s, the stars will be digitally aged by the same team behind Brad Pitt’s transformation in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.
• “Spider-Man 4” – 26-year-old Kirsten Dunst is still unsigned to appear as ‘Mary Jane Watson’ as she did in all 3 previous films. While Tobey Maguire has already committed to appear in both the 4th & 5th films, Dunst is still pondering whether to rejoin the cast. An insider says she wants assurance the story is going to be a strong one … in terms of her character.
• “Wall Street 2” – Michael Douglas is re-teaming with director Oliver Stone to shoot a sequel to the 1987 hit movie. He’ll reprise his role as evil moneyman ‘Gordon Gekko’. The storyline is being kept under wraps but insiders say it’s literally ripped from recent headlines about the collapse of the global banking system. 20th Century Fox will begin filming this Summer.

ROCK THE PLAGUE:
Residents of Tuscarora, Nevada (population 13) discovered 3 years ago that the best defense against the annual invasion of Mormon Crickets is … rock ‘n roll! The huge, flightless insects advance across the desert in armies of millions each May but, knowing the bugs can’t stand loud music, the townspeople are once again preparing to array boom-boxes at regular intervals facing out toward the desert in order to repel the assault from dawn to dusk … at full blast. By the way, their station of choice is Mix 96.7 (KHIX) in nearby Elko NV. (If you’re looking to do a phoner, an extended family named ‘Smith’ is listed on 411.com.)
NET: http://www.mix96.fm
– “Wall Street Journal”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 85% of parents agree that the best way to teach kids about money is to give them some … but only 41% give their kids a regular allowance.
• 78% of women say it’s ‘bad breath’ they worry about most during a date.
• 70% women say they’ve become closer to their mothers as they’ve gotten older.
• 45% of couples admit they have to plan passion with their partner … it’s not spontaneous.
• 31% of married men have never sent flowers to their wives.
• Just 3% of North Americans consider themselves vegetarians … but that number is growing.

MORE SWINE FLU FACTS:
• You cannot get Swine Flu from eating cooked pork or pork products.
• Influenza viruses are transmitted through coughing or sneezing by those who are infected.
• You may become infected by touching something with the virus on it and then touching your mouth or nose, so frequent hand washing is a good idea.
• The original Swine Flu virus was first isolated from a pig in 1930.
• Influenza viruses are officially named after the number of H & N proteins on their exterior. Swine Flu virus is H1N1 influenza.
• According to WHO, the present outbreak has pandemic potential but it’s too early to say whether that will actually occur.
– MicrobiologyBytes.com

THE BOOBY PRIZE:
A new ranking of the most killer cleavage in Hollywood …
5. Jennifer Love Hewitt
4. Jessica Simpson
3. Halle Berry
2. Salma Hayek
1. Scarlett Johansson
– “Access Hollywood”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Bars & restaurants in Venice, Italy have 3 price lists: one for locals, one for tourists, and another for rude tourists.
– “Kansas City Star”
• Christian teens are stealing Christian music through Internet downloads at nearly the same rate that non-Christians are pirating secular music, according to a study by the Gospel Music Association.
– “Dallas Morning News”

BS CHRONOMETER 04.30.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1933 [76] Willie Nelson, Abbott TX, legendary country singer (“On the Road Again”)/songwriter (“Crazy”)/sometime actor (“Beer For My Horses”)/Farm Aid co-founder (1985)/environmentalist (Willie Nelson Bio-diesel)/Country Music Hall of Fame (1993)

1959 [50] Stephen Harper, Toronto ON, Canada’s 22nd Prime Minister (2006-present)/leader of the Conservative Party of Canada (2004-present)

1959 [50] Paul Gross, Calgary AB, movie producer/director/writer/actor (“Passchendaele”, “Men With Brooms”)/former TV actor (“Due South” 1997-99)

1965 [44] Adrian Pasdar, Pittsfield MA, TV actor (‘Nathan Petrelli’ on “Heroes” since 2006)

1971 [38] Chris Henderson, Escatawpa MS, rock guitarist (3 Doors Down-“It’s Not My Time”, “Here Without You”)

1971 [38] Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Grande Prairie AB, country singer (“Complicated”, “Georgia”)

1982 [27] Kirsten Dunst, Point Pleasant NJ, movie actress (“Spider-Man” films, “Elizabethtown”)

1984 [25] Tyler Wilkinson, Belleville ON, country singer (The Wilkinsons-“Boy Oh Boy”, “26 Cents”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canada Revenue Agency Tax Filing Deadline”. Tonight at midnight is the deadline for filing your 2008 income tax return either electronically or via snail mail.

• “Hairstylist Appreciation Day”, honoring the great contribution snippers and coiffeurs make to our self-esteem. Back in 1994, salon owner Anne Camilleri of San Carlos CA came up with the idea to recognize her employees. So don’t forget to say ‘thanks for the good hair day!’

• “Honesty Day”, to celebrate those who are honorable in all their dealings. Observed annually on the anniversary of George Washington being inaugurated as first US president in 1789.

• “International Walk Days” begin, time to strap on those trainers and hit the road as we’re encouraged to walk to school or work if possible.

• “SpankOut Day”, initiated in 1998 to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching kids appropriate behavior. This year about a dozen countries are observing the event. After all, why should adults hit kids when they aren’t allowed to hit each other?
NET: http://www.StopHitting.org

• “Walpurgis Night” in many parts of Northern Europe, when according to legend witches ride on broomsticks to revel with the devil. The tradition is celebrated by university students in particular (at any local bar). In Sweden, it’s known as the “Feast of Valborg”. In Switzerland, it’s called simply “May Day Eve”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [12] In a 1st for network TV, Ellen DeGeneres ‘comes out’ on her sitcom “Ellen” (Laura Dern plays her love interest)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2004 [05] Michael Jackson is arraigned in Santa Barbara County court on child molestation charges, to which he pleads innocent

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1939 [70] 1st public demonstration of ‘Television’ (New York World’s Fair)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1999 [10] Frenchman Fabrice Gropaiz skates up to the Arc de Triomphe 28 months and 17,000 miles after leaving Paris to become 1st to circle the globe … on roller blades!

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[May 1] Executive Coaching Day / Law Day / Lei Day / May Day / New Homeowner’s Day / School Principals’ Day / Stepmothers’ Day / No Pants Day / Tuba Day / “Battle for Terra”; “Ghosts of Girlfriends Past”; “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” open in movie theaters
[May 2] Astronomy Day / Free Comic Book Day / Kentucky Derby (Lexington KY) / Homebrew Day / Scrapbooking Day
[May 3] Two Different Colored Shoes Day / Paranormal Day / World Press Freedom Day / Motorcycle Mass & Blessing Of the Bikes Day / Infertility Survival Day
[May 4] Melanoma Monday / Respect for Chickens Day / World Laughter Day
[May 5] World Asthma Day / Cartoonists Day / Cinco de Mayo / Totally Chipotle Day / Childhood Depression Awareness Day
[May 6] Great American Grump Out / Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy / No Diet Day / No Homework Day / Nurses Day / Occupational Safety & Health Professional’s Day
[May 7] Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day / “Star Trek” opens in movie theaters
[May 8] Full ‘Flower’ Moon / No Socks Day / VE Day / World Red Cross Day / Child Care Provider Day / Military Spouse Appreciation Day / “Next Day Air” opens in movie theaters
[May 9] Birthmothers’ Day / International Migratory Bird Day / Mother Ocean Day / Babysitters’ Day / Miniature Golf Day / Train Day / Stay Up All Night Day / World Fair Trade Day
[May 10] World Migratory Bird Day / Lupus Day / Mothers Day / Windmill Day
[May 11] Eat What You Want Day
[May 12] Limerick Day / Nutty Fudge Day
[May 13] Cannes Film Festival opens / Third Shift Workers Day / Receptionists Day / Root Canal Appreciation Day
[May 15] International Day of Families / Chocolate Chip Day / Nylon Stockings Day / Peace Officer Memorial Day / Bike to Work Day / “Angels & Demons” opens in movie theaters
[May 16] US Armed Forces Day / Biographers Day / Preakness Stakes (Baltimore)
[May 17] Rural Life Sunday / World Telecommunications Day / NASCAR Day
[May 18] International Museum Day / Send An Electronic Greeting Card Day / Visit Your Relatives Day / Victoria Day (Canada)
[May 20] Eliza Doolittle Day / Weights & Measures Day / Employee Health & Fitness Day
[May 21] Wait Staff Day / “Terminator Salvation” opens in movie theaters
[May 22] Maritime Day / Wig Out Day / “Dance Flick”; “Night At the Museum: Battle Of the Smithsonian” opens in movie theaters
[May 23]  World Beard & Moustache Championships (Anchorage AK) / International Jazz Day / Taffy Day
[May 24] Brothers’ Day / Neighbor Day
[May 25] Missing Children’s Day / Tap Dance Day / Geek Pride Day / Memorial Day (USA)
[May 27] Senior Health & Fitness Day
[May 28] Sierra Club Day
[May 29] Jay Leno’s final “Tonight Show” (NBC) / Phil Spector sentenced (LA) / “Departures”; “Drag Me to Hell”; “Up” open in movie theaters
[May 30] Hug Your Cat Day
[May 31] MTV Movie Awards (LA) / WhitSunday / World No-Tobacco Day
[Jun 1] Conan O’Brien’s debut “Tonight Show” (NBC) / “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!” debuts (NBC) / Cancer Survivors Day / World Milk Day
[Jun 21] Fathers Day / 1st Day of Summer

BULL’S BITS

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WEIRD BUT TRUE TAX WRITEOFF ATTEMPTS:
• A salesman tried to claim a $250 write-off for the cost of shortening his trousers, saying it was to avoid being zapped by static electric charges from the carpeting in his office.
• A supermarket bag packer tried to knock $5,000 off his taxes for ‘job-related self-education’.
• An administrative assistant tried to write off the cost of hair coloring because her boss liked her better as a blonde.
• One anxious taxpayer tried to claim the cost of a stress management class, reasoning that he was disturbed by having to drive past a tax office each day.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Who will rule late night TV after Jay Leno leaves the “Tonight Show” at the end of May?

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit only adults have difficulty with child-proof bottles?
• Whyzit we call police ‘officers’ when they’re always outside?
• Whyzit we say something is ‘out of whack’? Can it be ‘in whack’?
• Whyzit celebrities bother to get married in the first place?
• Whyzit the majority of people consider themselves above-average drivers?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the entire house.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS doesn’t have wings, uses no fuel, and isn’t part of any sporting event but it can travel up to 300 miles per hour.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A cough.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.