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BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The reviews are in for “The Last Song” and, unfortunately for Miley Cyrus, most movie critics can’t stand her (hey, it’s a growing club!) . . . “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno is still insisting he got ‘screwed’ by NBC-TV (thereby adding to the ‘just cause’ file for when they eventually cut him loose) . . . “Twilight” author Stephenie Meyer has revealed she will pen a 5th installment to the saga, entitled “The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner” (to Meyer, ‘short’ means only about 1,000 pages or so) . . . . “Glee”, “Modern Family”, and “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” have all won 2010 “Peabody Awards” for excellence in broadcasting (hey, this missed THIS show!) . . . The “Glee” cast is also featured on the cover of the new “Rolling Stone” magazine (when you’re hot, you’re hot!) . . . 41-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston tells “Harper’s Bazaar” she’s open to Botox because ‘these lines are getting deeper every day’ (unfortunately, not the movie lines) . . . Oscar nominee Gabourey Sidibe (“Precious”) is set to host an upcoming episode of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) . . . After a Twitter war over the purpose of covering one’s feet in some sort of powder, famous person Lindsay Lohan has agreed to be an upcoming guest on George Lopez’s late night show (bets she fails to show up?) . . . And according to an exclusive “In Touch” interview with a former Brangelina bodyguard identified only as ‘Bill’, Angelina Jolie is ‘selfish & controlling’, laughs at her kids’ tears, and sleeps in a separate bedroom from Brad Pitt (hard to believe, because he even snores pretty!).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Rascal Flatts (“Unstoppable”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Jamie Cullum (“Devil May Care”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Surfer Blood (“Astro Coast”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Joss Stone (“Colour Me Free!”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Liquid Liquid (“Slip In & Out Of Phenomenon”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight She & Him (“Volume 2”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Jennifer Lopez hosts.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Colbie Caillat (“Breakthrough”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• AC/DC – Guitarist Angus Young says: “I’m sick to death of people saying we’ve made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we’ve made 12 albums that sound exactly the same.”
• Hank Williams Jr – Tonight his “Rowdy Friends Tour 2010” kicks off in Charleston WV. Also on the bill: Jamey Johnson, Eric Church, and The Grascals.
• Nickelback – They’ve extended the “Dark Horse World Tour”. The 2-month add-on begins Saturday night in Atlantic City NJ and ends June 3rd in Vancouver BC.
• Toby Keith – Last night Sarah Palin featured him on “Real American Stories” (FOX), using an old recorded interview. He hasn’t been interviewed by Fox News since 2009, and never by Palin.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Clash Of the Titans” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): In this loose adaptation of Greek mythology, Sam Worthington (“Avatar”) stars as ‘Perseus‘, born a god but raised as a man, who sets off on an epic mission to battle ‘Hades’ (Ralph Fiennes) before he can seize power from ‘Zeus’ (Liam Neeson). Remake of 1981 film that starred Laurence Olivier. Shot in 3-D in the UK and Spain.
NET: http://clash-of-the-titans.warnerbros.com
• “Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too?” ( PG-13 Comedy ): When 4 couples reunite for their annual vacation in the Bahamas, their gathering is disrupted by the arrival of an ex-husband determined to win back his recently remarried wife. Stars singer/actress Janet Jackson, Jill Scott, and Louis Gossett Jr, alongside Perry.
NET: http://www.whydidigetmarriedtoomovie.com

WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• China – In a bid to quash complaints about Beijing’s stinking landfill site on the edge of the city, officials are set to install … 100 deodorant guns. The giant high-pressure fragrance guns, which can disperse dozens of liters of scented spray per minute over a distance of up to 50 meters, will be put in place by May. (Can we get one of these in the studio?)
– “The Guardian”
• Britain – 31-year-old Londoner Chris Jarvis  is planning to sue his employer for discrimination, even though he’s received an apology from the manager for asking him to remove … his ‘Jedi knight’ hood. The International Church of Jediism has been recognized as an official religion since 2001 in the UK and Jarvis is claiming he’s been shown a lack of respect for his beliefs. (Hey buddy, may the farce be with you.)
– “The Register”
• Sweden – An inmate in Malmo has been served an official warning to cease his protest about prison conditions through a ‘series of concerted attacks’ using … flatulence. Kirseberg prison warden Anders Eriksson says the unidentified prisoner has been deliberately breaking wind in the presence of guards, but warns future flatulence will be punished. (Gas chamber, perhaps?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

‘SUPERTASKERS’ RARE:
A new study finds that the vast majority of us – 97.5%, to be exact – do not have the ability to safely multitask while driving. University of Utah psychologists say that so-called ‘supertaskers’, who can talk on a cellphone and drive safely, constitute only 2.5% of the population. Psychologist Jason Watson says these folks ought not to exist according to cognitive theory, but the testing clearly shows they do. (These are people who can also pat their head while rubbing their tummy. Special driving licenses?)
– PsychCentral.com

DIGITAL EASTER EGG HUNT:
Easter weekend is a great time to look for secrets stashes on your favorite DVDs. Hidden extras planted on DVDs/CDs are known as ‘Easter Eggs’. They might include an alternative ending, a secret game, a blooper reel, celebrity interview, or music video. A few worth checking out …
• “Family Guy: Blue Harvest” – Select ‘Options’; highlight ‘Resume Episode’, tap the left button on your remote. A couple of Easter Eggs can then be found.
• “Iron Man: Ultimate 2-Disc Edition” – Highlight the words ‘Main Menu’ in the ‘Special Features’ section. Tap the left arrow button on your remote. Press enter. Bingo!
• “Lost: The Complete 2nd Season” – From the ‘Main Menu’ on disc 7 select ‘Phase Two’; highlight ‘Sneak Peeks’; tap the left arrow button twice for an Evangeline Lilly interview.
• “The Ring” – From the ‘Main Menu’ press the up arrow on the remote and the cursor will disappear; now press ‘Enter’ to be see the deadly videotape featured in the horror film.
• “Star Trek: The Original Series, Season 1” – Press the red button at the bottom of the ‘Main Menu’ screen on the 2nd disc. You’ll be treated to a 3-minute special effects highlights reel.
• “Monsters vs Aliens”: Tap the ‘Up’ arrow in the ‘Ginormous Extras’ section. When the words ‘Do Not Press!’ appear you know what to do – press it! An all-new menu of extras pops up.
(Post these on your blog to make it easier for listeners.)
– DigitalTrends.com

BOTTOMS UP … AND DOWN:
A new NYC restaurant in Manhattan called ‘The Exchange Bar & Grill’ allows prices for its food and booze to fluctuate according to demand, just like the stock market. The eatery features a ticker tape-style sign flashing menu prices in red lettering as demand forces them to fluctuate. A glass of Guinness, for instance, starts at $6, but could be pushed to a high of $8 or a low of $4, depending on popularity. So if one beer is in heavy demand, its price will rise, causing the cost of others to drop. (But unlike the real market, the price never flatlines.)
– Reuters.com

SMART LENS:
Biotech company Sensimed has developed a contact lens that monitors the user’s glaucoma. The ‘Triggerfish’ lens is made of the same silicon hydrogel as many other soft contact lenses currently on the market, but embedded within it is a microprocessor and a strain gauge that encircles its outer edge. Data about changes in the eye is transmitted via radio frequency to a receiver. It can then be used to provide timely treatment as well as give researchers snapshots of the progress of the disease in the same patient. (And you thought dropping a lens down the drain was expensive before!)
– “Popular Science”

HAPPY 50th, PHOTOCOPIER!
50 years ago, Xerox shipped the first commercial ‘document copying machine’. This technical innovation began with NYC attorney Chester Carlson, who discovered in the early 1950s that photoconductivity could be used to create a mirror image of a document. He spent a frustrating decade trying to design a working model until a company finally showed interest and assigned a team of engineers to work on the project 7-days-a-week in a Rochester NY warehouse. One early version of the photocopier stood 12-feet-tall; another could only make copies in the dark. (Little did they know it would eventually just become a place for idle employees to hang out.)
– Gizmodo.com

DID YOU KNOW?
Drying athletic shoes in a clothes dryer damages the mid-soles. It’s better to stuff newspapers in them and let them air dry.
– Halife.com

BS CHRONOMETER 04.02.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [63] Emmylou Harris, Birmingham AL, country/folk singer with 12 Grammy Awards (“Blue Kentucky Girl”, “To Know Him Is To Love Him”)

1961 [49] Christopher Meloni, Washington DC, TV actor (‘Detective Elliot Stabler’ on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” since 1999)

1962 [48] Clark Gregg, Boston MA, TV actor (‘Richard Campbell‘ on “The New Adventures of Old Christine” since 2006)

1975 [35] Adam Rodriguez, Yonkers NY, TV actor (‘Eric Delko’ on “CSI: Miami” since 2002)

1979 [31] Jesse Carmichael, Boulder CO, pop keyboardist (Maroon 5-“Makes Me Wonder”, “This Love”)

1981 [29] Bethany Joy Galeotti, Hollywood FL, TV actress (‘Haley James Scott’ on “One Tree Hill” since 2003)

1983 [27] Yung Joc (Jasiel Robinson), College Park GA, rapper (w/T-Pain-“Buy U a Drank [Shawty Snappin’]”, f/Nitti-“It’s Goin’ Down”)

SATURDAY –
TV/movie actor Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) is 52; Movie actor Eddie Murphy (“Shrek”) is 49; TV actress Cobie Smulders (“How I Met Your Mother”) is 28; Pop singer Leona Lewis (“Bleeding Love”) is 25; Movie/TV actress Amanda Bynes (“Hairspray”) is 24.

SUNDAY –
Movie actor Robert Downey Jr (“Iron Man”) is 45; Rock singer Josh Todd (Buckcherry) is 39; Magician David Blaine is 37; NHL goalie Roberto Luongo (Team Canada/Vancouver Canucks) is 31; TV actress Jamie Lynn Spears (“Zoey 101”) is 19.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Alcohol Free Weekend”, thanks to the National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence … who apparently won’t be going to any “Final Four” parties.
• “Good Friday”, observed since about 100 AD. There are few explanations as to why it’s known as ‘Good’ Friday since it commemorates a sorrowful time in Christianity. It’s a national holiday in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and the UK but not in the USA where it varies state-by-state.
• “Hospital Admitting Clerks Day”, saluting those always smiling, always helpful frontline personnel at your local medical facility. (“Just wait over there until you hear your name called … about a month from now.”)
• “International Children’s Book Day”, celebrated on the birthday of one of the most famous children’s authors, Hans Christian Andersen, who was born in Denmark on this day in 1805. He penned 168 fairytales in all, including “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, “The Princess & the Pea”, “The Ugly Duckling”, “Thumbelina”, and “The Little Mermaid”.
• “Peanut Butter & Jelly Day”, celebrating what may be the world’s most popular sandwich. But what else have you sandwiched with peanut butter? We like PB & tuna. Nummers!
• “Reconciliation Day”, a day to write a letter or make a phone call in order to mend a broken relationship. (“Dear boss: Sorry about that April Fool’s Day whoopee cushion!”)
• “Walk to Work Day”, observed annually on the first Friday of April. Whether or not it’s to work, the goal is to walk 30 minutes a day to ease stress and improve fitness.
• “World Autism Day”, a UN observance since 2007 to raise awareness that this disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction & communication is estimated to affect 1-in-150 children worldwide.

SATURDAY –
• “Armenian Appreciation Day”, honoring the small country bordering the Black Sea which most recently re-gained its independence in 1991. It’s history of invasion and genocide led to a diaspora in which Armenians fled and settled around-the-world. Check out the ‘Armenian Hall of Fame’ here …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ytrtsd

SUNDAY –
• “Ballroom Dancing Day”, celebrating the activity that’s hot once again thanks to TV shows like “Dancing With the Stars” and “So You Think You Can Dance”.
• “Easter Sunday”, the moveable Christian feast that falls on the first Sunday following the ‘Paschal Full Moon’ (on or after March 21st). Since its origins, it has been a time of celebration and feasting. Worldwide many traditional Easter activities involve eggs, such as Egg Rolling, Egg Tapping, Pace Egging, and Egg Decorating.
• “International Day for Landmine Awareness & Assistance”. Unfortunately, full participation in this will cost you an arm and a leg.
• “World Rat Day”, the 8th annual observance to recognize the fancy rat as a wonderful pet and companion animal for people of all ages.
NET: http://www.worldratday.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1956 [54] CBS-TV daytime drama “As the World Turns” debuts (4 million divorces & 6 million gooey deaths ago)  BS FACTOID: Movie star Julianne Moore makes a cameo appearance on Monday’s episode. She originally appeared on the show 1985-87, playing the dual role of half-sisters ‘Frannie & Sabrina Hughes’.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2006 [04] Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” makes history by becoming the first-ever single to top singles charts based solely on download sales

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1978 [32] ‘Velcro’ 1st introduced (inspired by the little hooks on burrs that attach to clothing)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1980 [30] Toshiaki Shirai & Yukiki Nagata of Tokyo, Japan set the world record for ‘Underwater Kissing’ (2 minutes, 18 seconds)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] NCAA Basketball Championship Game (Indianapolis IN)
[Mon] Deep Dish Pizza Day
[Mon] White House Easter Egg Roll
[Mon] Dyngus Day
[Tues] Drowsy Driver Awareness Day
[Wed] SPCA Day
[Wed] No Housework Day
[Wed] World Health Day
This Week Is … Laugh at Work Week
This Month Is … Amateur Radio Month

BULL’S BITS

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BS SIGNS YOU’VE HIRED A BAD EASTER BUNNY:
• Shows up wearing the costume head … and nothing else.
• Doesn’t really have a hippity-hop, more of a booze impaired stumble.
• Before kids get candy they have to sit through a timeshare presentation.
• After you sign him, he immediately asks if he can have Easter off.
• Costume is made from rabbits he hit on the freeway.
• For an extra 30 bucks, offers an ounce of special ‘Easter grass’.
• With every hop, his bunny pants drop another inch.
• His ‘tail’ is just flounced-up back-hair.
• He’s Jewish.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What odd Easter tradition happens at your house?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 3-out-of-4 men think they’re superior to women when it comes to THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Being funny.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Sharing is fun … unless it’s your stuff.