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BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
23-year-old “Twilight Saga” star Robert Pattinson says he’s been living in hotels for the last 3 years, deciding against buying a house in Hollywood because he’s worried his career could tank at any time (with 14 films in the last 6 years odds are you’re fairly safe, dude) . . . “Star” magazine reports Sandra Bullock’s philandering hubby Jesse James has now quit the program at Sierra Tucson rehab center in Tucson AZ and walked out (realizing his ‘save the marriage’ plan ain’t working?) . . . 73-year-old actor/director/”Sundance Festival” founder Robert Redford says he’s not a fan of behind-the-scenes DVD features because giving fans access to cinema secrets ruins ‘the magic’ of movie-making (he’s got a point, no?) . . . ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews is vowing to keep participating on “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) despite receiving death threats from a man known to police (just in case, security has been beefed up) . . . There’s speculation that actor Charlie Sheen’s ongoing personal troubles could lead to the end of his sitcom “Two-and-a-Half Men” (CBS) after the current 7th season (ah, the silver lining!) . . . After months of negotiations, 41-year-old actor Will Smith has reportedly turned down the lead role in moviemaker Cameron Crowe’s upcoming biopic about legendary Motown singer Marvin Gaye (who would you cast?) . . . And reports say the relationship between Disney kid-stars Selena Gomez & Nick Jonas has soured and they’ve split up (how sad, it was even shorter than their careers!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The 9 remaining finalists perform Lennon-McCartney songs.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/A Channel) – Reba McEntire performs; a 2nd couple is eliminated.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Citizen Cope (“The Rainwater LP”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kelis (“Flesh Tone”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Ludacris (“Battle Of the Sexes”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Dr Dog (“Shame Shame”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Brandy (“We Are the World For Haiti”); Ray J (“More Than Just a DJ”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Slash & Andrew Stockdale (“Slash”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Trisha Yearwood (“Heaven, Heartache & The Power of Love”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – They’re reportedly close to finalizing a deal with the Boston Red Sox to play Fenway Park for 2 nights in August. The rumor also has the J Geils Band on the bill. Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler made his official return to public life Sunday when he sang “God Bless America” at the Boston Red Sox home baseball opener against the New York Yankees.
• Bob Dylan – He’s cancelled plans to take his “Never Ending Tour” to Asia this month after he was reportedly refused permission to play in China due to his sometimes politically-charged lyrics.
• Christina Aguilera – She tells “OK!” magazine she channeled painful childhood memories of her abusive father in order to make herself cry while filming her bigscreen debut in “Burlesque”. The film is due in theaters this November.
• Colbie Caillat – Tonight she kicks off a lengthy Spring-Summer tour in Augusta GA.
• Elton John – He says Lady Gaga would be a perfect choice to record the next ‘James Bond’ movie theme and he’d like to duet with her. They performed together on this year’s “Grammy Awards”.
• Goo Goo Dolls – Tonight in Augusta GA they begin a Spring tour in support of their upcoming 9th studio album, “Something For the Rest Of Us”, due later this year.
• Justin Bieber – The 16-year-old says he always wanted to be a car mechanic. (Back-up plan when his pop idol status burns out?)
• Lady Antebellum – 9 weeks after its release their “Need You Now” album has sold more than 1.5 million copies.
• Madonna – Today she’s scheduled to launch the construction of her girls’ school in Malawi by laying the first brick. She’s in the African country for a week of charity engagements related to her Raising Malawi Foundation.
• Muse – 3 winners of a contest on their MySpace page will be flown to their April 14th concert in San Francisco CA, where they’ll go backstage to interview the band.
NET: http://www.myspace.com/muse
• Rush – They’ve started work on the follow-up to 2007’s “Snakes & Arrows” at Cherry Beach Sound in Toronto, with guitarist Alex Lifeson engineering the new album sessions.
• Scorpions – Today the German rockers are enshrined on Hollywood’s Rock Walk, their last official appearance together as a band.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans” ( Crime Drama ): In this updated take on 1992’s “The Bad Lieutenant”, Nicolas Cage plays a rogue police detective on the job in New Orleans during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, who manipulates the law in order to get the bad guys … and the drugs to support his habit. Co-stars Eva Mendes, Val Kilmer.
• “The Collector” ( Horror Thriller ): An ex-con plots a heist at his new employer’s country home, unaware that a second criminal has also targeted the property, and rigged it with a series of deadly traps. Stars Andrea Roth (“Rescue Me”) & Josh Stewart (“Dirt”). From the writers of the “Saw” films IV-VI.
• Also released today: “Ally McBeal: The Complete 2nd Season” (Vintage TV); “Battlestar Galactica: The Complete Series Box Set” (Sci-Fi TV); “Dirt! The Movie” (Documentary); “Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami: Season One” (Reality TV); “The Lord Of the Rings: Original Animated Classic” (Animation); “My Friends Tigger & Pooh: Super Duper Super Sleuths” (Animation); and “Nightmare on Elm Street Collection” (Horror).

ALL-INCLUSIVES INCLUDE CANCER:
People now in their 60s & 70s are more than 5 times more likely to be diagnosed with malignant melanoma than their parents were, according to new statistics. Experts say it’s likely not coincidental that this generation would have been in their 20s and 30s when cheap packaged ‘sun vacations’ exploded in popularity. They now have 36 cases of malignant melanoma per 100,000, up by more than 500% from the mid-1970s. (Nothing more dangerous than baking unprotected lily-white northern skin in searing hot southern sun.)
– BBC News

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 77% of women say an earring looks bad on a man over 30.
• 75% of us think there is way too much ‘reality TV’.
• 70% of women have never had to change a car tire.
• 60% of guys have washed their car to impress a woman.
• 20% of guys admit they leave toothpaste in the sink almost every morning.
• 5% of babies are actually born on their ‘due date’.

LOST & FOUND:
A survey has asked corporations for the strangest items discovered in company vehicles when they were returned to the employer. Among the weirdest: Used diapers, false teeth, feminine hygiene products, underwear, a G-string, condoms, a microwave, an unopened bag of fish & chips under the passenger seat, a chainsaw, a store mannequin and … a dead goat. (Excuses to use the car-pool diamond lane?)
– “Fleet News”

BS FROM AROUND-THE-WORLD:
• After the stress of her job became too much for her to handle, a young woman in Tokyo, Japan decided to quit and channel her energy into brightening the days of workers feeling the same stress. Since last August, this young cheerleader gets up every morning to … cheer for the morning commuters outside a busy train station.
– MSNBC.com
• A bed-ridden Multiple Sclerosis sufferer from Bristol, England is back on her feet after being stung by bees … 1,500 times. The 45-year-old says ‘Bee Venom Therapy’, which involves holding a bee in a pair of tweezers and deliberately stinging an area of skin on the body, has helped her overcome the debilitating condition. Researchers claim elements in the sting reduce inflammation and help the body release natural healing compounds.
– TheSun.co.uk
• Osaka University researchers in Japan have unveiled a female android that can laugh and smile as it mimics a person’s expressions. The robot, called ‘Geminoid TMF’, can move its rubber face to replicate everything from a smile to a grim look with crumpled brows using a motion-capture system. The bot was modeled on a young Japanese woman who says she now feels like she has a twin sister.
– “Daily Mail”

OFFICE PEEVES:
What drives you nuts about your co-workers? Here’s some of the top turn-offs unearthed in an MJN Consulting poll of office workers …
• Taking the last coffee without making more.
• Clogging up email servers with stupid jokes.
• Spending more time gabbing than working.
• Not cleaning up the microwave after using it.
• Letting the copier run out of paper.
• Co-workers who don’t return messages.
(And what makes your blood pressure rise?)

FOR THE RECORD:
The record price for a comic book, already broken twice this year, has been shattered again. A copy of the 1938 edition of Action Comics No. 1 has sold for $1.5 million in an online auction. The issue, which features the debut of ‘Superman’ and originally sold for 10 cents, is widely considered the Holy Grail of comic books. The same issue sold in February for $1 million, though that copy wasn’t in as good condition. That figure was bested just days later when a 1939 comic book featuring ‘Batman’s debut sold for $75,000 more at an auction in Dallas TX.
– ComicConnect.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• Tiger Woods’ lifetime average for a round at Augusta National Golf Club, home of this week’s Masters championship, is 70.98 … the lowest ever.
– TheToiletPaper.com
• Including online pre-sales, investment banker Gene Munster estimates that Apple sold between 600,000-and-700,000 iPads on the new gizmo’s official release day (Saturday), double his forecast. He’s now increased his prediction for total 2010 sales from 2.8 million to 5.5 million.
– Billboard.biz

BS CHRONOMETER 04.06.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [73] Merle Haggard, Bakersfield CA, country legend with 38 #1 hits (“Okie from Muskogee”, “If We Make It Through December”)/Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award (2006)/Country Music Hall of Fame (1994)

1969 [41] Paul Rudd, Passaic NJ, movie actor (“I Love You, Man”, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”)

1975 [35] Zach Braff, South Orange NJ, TV actor (“Scrubs” 2001-09)/movie director (“Garden State”)/movie actor (“The Last Kiss”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Drowsy Driver Awareness Day”, an annual initiative begun in California to encourage motorists to take notice when they’re too sleepy to steer. According to a recent poll, more than 10% of drivers admit to having fallen asleep at the wheel; and over 20% say they’ve momentarily dozed while driving.

• “Tartan Day”, the anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Arbroath in 1320, a day set aside for the celebration of Scottish influence. More practically, it’s now the day that officially kicks off the annual Scottish tourism season.
NET: http://tartanday.org

• “Teflon Day”, commemorating the accidental 1938 discovery of the coating used to create non-stick surfaces by Du Pont researcher Roy Plunkett. (How do they get it to stick to a frying pan?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1992 [18] “Barney & Friends” premieres on PBS-TV (“I love you, you love me …”)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1930 [80] ‘Hostess Twinkies’ are invented by bakery executive James Dewar to make use of small baking pans that remain in storage much of the year (creating a product that has a shelf life of much of a year)

1980 [30] 1st ‘Post-It Notes’ (a 3M product designed to eventually block any sight of your computer monitor)

2000 [10] A private company mapping the human genetic blueprint announces it has decoded all of the DNA pieces that make up the genetic pattern of a single human being

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] SPCA Day
[Wed] International Beaver Day
[Wed] Metric System Day
[Wed] No Housework Day
[Wed] World Health Day
This Week Is … Week Of the Ocean
This Month Is … Amateur Radio Month

BULL’S BITS

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ACTUAL ENTRIES FROM THE SCOTS DIALECT DICTIONARY:
Just in time for “Tartan Day”, a few odd expressions from Scotland …
• ‘Clish-ma-clashin’ … Gossiping.
• ‘Daddy Cloots’ … The Devil.
• ‘Fike-ma-facks’ … Nonsense.
• ‘Hizzie-fallow’ … A man who does what is considered to be the work of a housewife.
• ‘Idioticals’ … Things of no importance.
• ‘Jank the labour’ … To waste time at work.
• ‘Merry-begotten’ … Illegitimate.
• ‘Oy’ … A grandchild.
• ‘Quinkins’ … The scum or refuse of any liquor.
• ‘Rigwiddie-nag’ … A half-castrated horse.
• ‘Snoofmadrune’ … A lazy, inactive person, given to janking the labour.
– Thanks to John McMurtrie

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• You’ve scratched your wooden coffee table. What can you use to cover up the nick?
a. Tobacco juice.
b. Instant coffee. [CORRECT. A small amount mixed with warm water.]
c. Grape Jell-O.
– “Tightwad Living Magazine”

• Your eyelids are puffy in the morning. What can help cure the problem?
a. Sleep with peanut butter in your eyebrows.
b. Eat 2 carrots at bedtime.
c. Hold chilled teabags against your eyelids. [CORRECT. Anything else cold that won’t hurt your eyes will also work.]
– “Healing Foods”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Hot dogs are best when served with a ball game.

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you had $100,000 to spend on a honeymoon what would you want to do?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average woman thinks about THIS 36 times a day.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Her appearance.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.