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BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Two more women have accused 58-year-old actor Steven Seagal of making unwanted advances while they worked as his assistant, adding fuel to ex-model Kayden Nguyen’s million-dollar lawsuit that claims he tried to use her ‘like a sex toy’ (the bad news is, if he loses he’ll have to make more bad movies!) . . . The May issue of “Playboy” features former high-end harlot (ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s bad habit)-turned-“NY Post” advice columnist Ashley Dupré (because if you’re a moderately attractive female involved in a scandal, men want to see you naked) . . . Ben & Jerry’s has created a new ice cream flavor called ‘Bonnaroo Buzz’, in honor of the annual Tennessee music festival, which contains light coffee & malt ice creams, whiskey caramel swirls, and English toffee pieces (all stuff you’d find on the ground after a big rock festival, often ‘recycled’) . . . In a deal brokered by Michael Jackson’s estate, his music will be used for a new Cirque de Soleil production to be staged in Las Vegas beginning in 2012 (the King is dead, let’s make money!) . . . TMZ has learned a new reality show being pitched would be hosted by Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee (Jesse James’ #1 mistress) & Jamie Jungers (Tiger Woods’ #714) with the mandate of ‘catching celebrity cheaters with their pants down’ (isn’t this already a series – or does it just seem that way?) . . . And 57-year-old sorta actor/sometime singer David Hasselhoff is set to reprise his role as ‘Snapper Foster’ in several upcoming episodes of “The Young & The Restless” (CBS), fully 18 years after leaving the soap that kick-started his showbiz ‘career’ (it’s not like he’s busy doing anything else important).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Gorillaz (“Plastic Beach”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Jason Castro (“Jason Castro”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Taylor Hawkins (Foo Fighters).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – David Gray (“Draw the Line”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – The Script; The Bee Gees.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Broken Social Scene (“Forgiveness Rock Record”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Ozomatli (“Fire Away”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Maxwell (“BLACKsummers’night”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – The 27-year-old ACM ‘Entertainer Of the Year’ says her upcoming wedding to hockey player Mike Fisher will be an intimate affair, not a big showbiz event.
• Green Day – Their “American Idiot” musical has opened to lackluster reviews on Broadway, some critics labeling it ‘dull’ and ‘ordinary’.
• Jonas Bros – Rumors of a break-up were apparently too optimistic. Kevin Jonas has confirmed they’re going back on tour this Summer.
• MIA – Producer Diplo promises the “Paper Planes” hitmaker’s new album (due June 29th) will be ‘a total departure’ from her established sound, including a sampling of ‘gospel-y, old-school, Alabama, weird, Sacred Harp singers’.
• Paul McCartney – He’s planning to re-issue his back catalogue through independent record label Concord Music Group. The deal includes about 2 dozen albums from his post-Beatles era.
• Rihanna – After a sold-out “Last Girl On Earth” show in Zurich, Switzerland Monday she was whisked to a private clinic in a blacked-out Mercedes to be treated for a mystery ailment. She left the emergency ward 2-and-a-half hours later and went on to play Lyons, France as scheduled on Tuesday night. Guesses, anyone?

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Océans” ( Documentary ): Disney’s follow-up to last year’s Earth Day release “Earth” is an ecological drama/documentary, filmed by French producers around-the-globe. It’s part thriller, part meditation on the vanishing wonders of the sub-aquatic world. Narrated by Pierce Brosnan.
NET: http://disney.go.com/disneynature/oceans/

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASE:
• “Avatar” ( Sci-Fi Thriller ): This $230-million 3-D epic, director James Cameron’s first feature film since 1997’s “Titanic”, stars Sam Worthington as a paraplegic former marine who accepts a unique mission to the planet ‘Pandora’, where he confronts the indigenous Na’vi people. Co-stars Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez. Shot in California, Hawaii, and Wellington, New Zealand. It’s the all-time box office champ, grossing more than $2.7 billion worldwide.
NET: http://www.avatarmovie.com

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Danish Girl” – First Charlize Theron and now Gwyneth Paltrow has pulled out of the chance to play Nicole Kidman’s onscreen wife in this adaptation of David Ebershoff’s novel. Yep, you heard right, Kidman’s wife. The story is about the first person to undergo a sex-change operation. Producers are now seeking another leading lady to star alongside Kidman.
• “An Ex To Grind” – Benicio Del Toro & Cameron Diaz are set to play the leads in this romantic comedy based on the Jane Heller novel. Del Toro plays an athlete-turned-lazy slob, Diaz his wife who becomes a Hollywood movie star just as his career hits troubled times following injury. The project is yet to have a director attached or a scheduled release date.
• “Oz The Great & Powerful” – Robert Downey Jr is reportedly set to team up with director Sam Mendes in this prequel to the 1939 classic, “The Wizard Of Oz”, which will tell the story of a young circus magician who ends up ruler of the magical country after crash-landing there in a hot air balloon.
• “The Secret  Life of Walter Mitty” – Sacha Baron Cohen (“Borat”) is reportedly being lined up for the title role after numerous studio, casting, and director changes to the project which has been in development for 16 years. The comedy remake, based on Danny Kaye’s 1947 film, was first planned for 1994, when Jim Carrey was slated to play the lead.

NO GROPING THE EXHIBITS:
Nude models at a controversial exhibition in NYC have complained to curators about groping. The real-life statues are upset that visitors are touching them as they stand motionless in Manhattan’s Museum of Modern Art. A MOMA spokeswoman confirms that some visitors have violated the models’ personal space and done ‘inappropriate things’. Security is slim as the models aren’t behind glass and guards aren’t exactly hovering over them. One model, when a man touched him, turned to a guard and said, “This man is touching me inappropriately”, then snapped back into performance mode. (Now that’s a pro!)
– ContactMusic.com

HOW WE MEET:
A new study of more than 11,000 people in relationships has found that 1-in-6 marriages last year involved couples who met through an online dating site. If you also count ‘committed relationships’ that number jumps to 1-in-5. A summary of the ways we now meet …
• Work/School … 36%
• Friend/Family Member … 26%
• Online Dating Site … 17%
• Bars/Clubs/Other Social Events … 11%
• Church/Place of Worship … 4%
– Match.com

HEADBANGERS:
The “Brooklyn Ball” is scheduled for tonight at the Brooklyn Museum in NYC. One of the activities will be the bashing of a 20-foot-tall pinata in the shape of iconic artist Andy Warhol’s head. What fun! There are treats inside … but organizers aren’t saying what they are.
NET: http://bit.ly/cOlJPe
– Neatorama.com

BS TECH NEWS:
• A new type of speed camera which can use satellites to measure average vehicle speed over long distances is being tested in Britain. The ‘SpeedSpike’ system, which calculates average speed between any two points, combines licence plate reading technology with GPS. The new system can cover a network of streets as opposed to just a straight line.
– Telegraph.co.uk
• China’s State Administration of Radio, Film & Television has announced it will start trial broadcasts of 3D TV shows in some cities later this year. The SARFT is quickly working to develop standards for the technology as Chinese consumers have expressed an eagerness to have 3D capability in their homes.
– ChinaDaily.com
• Pepsico has developed a new shape for sodium chloride crystals that it hopes will allow it to reduce salt by 25% in its Lay’s potato chips. It’s not likely motivated by the company’s deep concern about our health. The innovation comes on the heels of a new FDA plan to make food companies cut back on salt content.
– MotherJones.com

HAPPY EARTH DAY:
Biologists in Washington State who’ve examined a whale that died after getting stranded on a West Seattle beach report that it had a large amount of garbage in its stomach including – a pair of sweatpants, a golf ball, more than 20 plastic bags, small towels, duct tape, and surgical gloves. (That guy Jonah was real litter-bug!)
– “Huffington Post”

TEXT NUMBERS:
As most parents of adolescents know all too well, text messaging has become the preferred method of communication for teenagers. A new survey by the Pew Research Center shows just how integral the technology has become to teen life …
• 75% of 12-to-17-year-olds now own cellphones, up from 45% in 2004.
• Most teens prefer texting when communicating with peers; they primarily use voice calling to communicate with parents.
• The average teen makes or receives only about 5 phone calls a day
• 50% of teens send a minimum of 50 text messages a day; 1-in-3 send more than 100 text messages a day.
• 43% send at least 1 text message from class each school day.
• Girls use cellphones more than boys.
– CNN.com

DID YOU KNOW?
The May issue of “Discover” magazine reports:
– Good gardeners know not to water plants during the day. Droplets clinging to the leaves can act as little magnifying glasses, focusing sunlight and causing the plants to burn.
– Hair on your skin can hold water droplets, too. A hairy leg may get sunburned more quickly than a shaved one.
– Scientists at Oregon State University have identified vast reservoirs of water beneath the ocean floor. In fact, there may be more water under the oceans than in them.

BS CHRONOMETER 04.22.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [73] Jack Nicholson, Neptune NJ, movie actor (“The Bucket List”, “The Departed”)/3-time Oscar winner (“As Good As It Gets”, “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, “Terms of Endearment”)

1950 [60] Peter Frampton, Beckenham UK, classic rock singer/guitarist (“Show Me the Way”, “Baby, I Love Your Way”)

1967 [43] Sherri Shepherd, Chicago IL, TV personality (“The View” since 2005)

1971 [39] Eric Mabius, Harrisburg PA, TV actor (‘Daniel Meade’ on “Ugly Betty” 2006-10)

1974 [36] Shavo Odadjian, Yerevan, Armenia, alt-rock bassist (System Of A Down-“Hypnotize”, “Aerials”)

1979 [31] Daniel Johns, Newcastle, Australia, rock singer/guitarist (Silverchair-“Straight Lines”, “The Greatest View”)/married to pop singer Natalie Imbruglia (“Torn”) 2003-2008

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Earth Day”, begun in 1970 (40th anniversary) and now the largest environmental event worldwide with some 1 billion people expected to participate in events that address environmental issues.
NET: http://www.earthday.ca

• “Girl Guide/Scout Leader Appreciation Day”, observed since 1982 to honor the many adult volunteers who help keep the program running. Thanks ‘Brown Owl’!

• “Jelly Bean Day”. Originally they only came in a few colors but nowadays you can get them in lip-smacking flavors like Toasted Marshmallow, Café Latte, Margarita, A&W Root Beer, Bubble Gum, Strawberry Cheesecake, Buttered Popcorn, and Pina Colada.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/446vn5

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1976 [34] Barbara Walters becomes the first female network news anchor as ABC-TV pays her a then-fortune of $1 million a year

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1990 [20] Rocker Sammy Hagar opens the ‘Cabo Wabo Cantina’ club in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico (still going strong!)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1998 [12] ‘Animal Kingdom’ opens at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [16] World’s ‘Largest Lollipop’ weighs in at 3,011 lbs (Olstrup, Denmark)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] “The Back-up Plan”; “The Losers” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Brooks & Dunn “Last Rodeo Tour” begins (Sacramento CA)
[Fri] Talk Like Shakespeare Day
[Fri] New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival begins
[Sat] “Rush – The Documentary” premieres (NYC)
[Sat] Sense of Smell Day
[Sun] Red Hat Society Day
This Week Is … Crime Victims’ Week
This Month Is … Prevention of Cruelty to Animals Month

BULL’S BITS

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BS SIGNS YOU’RE A NEW DAD:
• You consider 6 hours of sleep a privilege.
• The sentence, “Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?” sounds normal.
• You are now used to doing everything one-handed.
• The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant one.
• The list of bodily fluids that disgust you has shortened, possibly to zero.
• Your idea of romance is handholding.
• You answer the question “How are you?” with “We’re fine.”
• You decide whether a shirt is wearable not based on sweatiness, but based on how well the spit-up stains match the shirt’s main color.
• You see a slender teenage girl walking down your street, and you think, “Hey, I wonder if I could interest her … in babysitting?”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
An acquaintance is someone you know well enough to borrow from but not well enough to lend to.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which celebrity chef would you choose to cook a meal at your house?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A new report says eating an ounce of THIS before bedtime can cause you to have happier dreams.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cheese.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You know your lifestyle is boring when your parents approve of it.