The Bull Sheet

April 11, 2008

Friday, April 11, 2008        Edition: #3752
Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“Wall Street Journal” reports anchor Katie Couric is leaving “CBS Evening News” after the NOVEMBER presidential election, even though her 5-year, $15-million-per-year contract isn’t up until 2011 (odds are she got a pay-off to take a hike, thanks to record-low ratings) . . . Apparently it’s on again – actor/director Sean Penn & his 11-year actress-wife Robin Wright Penn have asked for and been granted a dismissal of the divorce petition filed in DECEMBER (THIS WEEK they attended an Eddie Vedder concert together) . . . Actress Penelope Cruz (“Volver”) & Oscar-winning boyfriend Javier Bardem (“No Country For Old Men”) are said to be planning to wed later THIS YEAR after he proposed during a recent vacation in France (he decided after flipping a coin) . . . On the other hand, Jennifer Aniston’s rep is denying reports she’s in a relationship with actor Orlando Bloom, noting they’ve been buddies since he filmed “Troy” in 2003 alongside her ex-, Brad Pitt . . . Paris Hilton’s 18-year-old brother Barron Hilton has pleaded no contest to DUI charges in return for a license suspension, 3-years’ probation, and 3 months in an alcohol abuse program that includes a tour of the LA County morgue (the stiffs will still look more life-like than his sis’) . . . Disney has announced that sequels to “Cars” and “Toy Story” are among its planned animated movies over the next 4 years . . . 13-year-old Connor Cruise, adopted son of Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman, has landed his big acting break in Steven Spielberg’s “The Trial Of the Chicago 7”, playing Will Smith’s son (think the kid had a few strings to pull?) . . . 21-year-old actress Lindsay Lohan wanted to appear totally starkers in her new film “Florence”,  in which she plays a nymphomaniac waitress, but producers reportedly nixed the idea (they’re looking to screen something the public hasn’t already seen) . . . And someone with far too much time on their hands has calculated that “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest’s $12.5 million-a-season salary breaks down to $297,619.05 per episode or $48,076.92 per day based on a full year – before taxes (and that’s just ONE of his 87 jobs!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Fall Out Boy – 28-year-old Pete Wentz & his 23-year-old wannabe singer gf Ashlee Simpson have announced they’re engaged. They’ve been together a year. (No word yet on what sort of dowry Papa Joe had to come up with.)
• 50 Cent – He’s  is in talks to play a criminal who becomes a celebrity due to his impending execution in the upcoming movie, “Spectacular Regret”, which begins shooting in JULY.
• George Strait – His 37th album, “Troubadour”, has debuted at #1 on both the “Billboard” ‘Top 200′ and ‘Top Country Albums’ charts. It’s his 3rd time debuting atop the album chart, 11th time debuting atop the country album chart.
• Madonna – 6,000 sq ft apparently just isn’t enough so now she’s bought a 3rd apartment in her Manhattan condo. Not everybody’s happy about it … she had to sue the building into letting her buy another.
• “Regeneration Tour” – Ready to party like it’s 1982? Some of the silliest haircuts of the era are teaming up for a summer tour that kicks off AUGUST 1st in Phoenix AZ. Participants include ABC, Belinda Carlisle, Dead or Alive, A Flock of Seagulls, the Human League, and Naked Eyes.
• Rolling Stones – 64-year-old Keith Richards claims he’s been inundated with requests to donate his body to science when he dies because doctors want to examine his immune system.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Canadian Idol” – SATURDAY/SUNDAY auditions move to Toronto’s Yonge-Dundas Square.
• “Desperate Housewives” (ABC/CTV) – SUNDAY a new post-strike episode features Chris Carmack (ex-“The OC”) as a tax accountant cousin of ‘Susan’.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – TODAY “Bleeding Love” singer Leona Lewis performs. TONIGHT she’s on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• “Miss USA Pageant” (NBC) – TONIGHT Donny & Marie Osmond host live from Las Vegas. Judges include Paul McCartney’s wealthy ex-, Heather Mills; former *NSYNC singer Joey Fatone; comedian Rob Schneider; singer Kelly Carlson; and designer Christian Siriano.
• “Night of Too Many Stars: An Overbooked Concert for Autism Education” (Comedy Central) – SUNDAY Jon Stewart hosts the 2nd biannual fundraiser live from NYC featuring Adam Sandler, Ben Stiller, Conan O’Brien, Maroon 5, Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, Will Ferrell, and more.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) – Gnarls Barkley is the musical guest as Ashton Kutcher hosts.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Prom Night” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): A group of high school students are stalked on their prom night by a vengeful killer who years ago witnessed the same kids causing a young girl’s ‘accidental’ death. Stars Brittany Snow. Remake of the 1980 scream gem. (Would any self-respecting killer be caught dead in a PG-13 movie?)
NET: http://www.anighttodiefor.com
• “Smart People” ( R-Rated Dramedy ): Dennis Quaid plays a brilliant college professor struggling to raise his teen daughter (“Juno’s” Ellen Page) on his own. Things get really complicated when his lazy, good-for-nothing brother (Thomas Haden Church) moves in. Co-stars Sarah Jessica Parker. Shot entirely in Pittsburgh PA. (Wow, the glamor of show biz.)
NET: http://www.smartpeople-themovie.com
• “Street Kings” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Keanu Reeves plays an LAPD detective who vows to do whatever it takes to find his former partner’s killers. Co-stars Chris Evans (“Fantastic Four”), Forest Whitaker (“Last King of Scotland”), and Hugh Laurie (“House”). Rappers Common and The Game have bit parts.
NET: http://foxsearchlight.com/streetkings

HI-TECH POST-IT:
A UK company has developed an ‘intelligent’ paper memo pad with a built-in alarm clock that can alert you by bleeping and/or flashing. The 1 mm-thick ‘IXP-Note’ uses thermo-chromic ink, similar to what’s used in batteries to display the remaining charge, to show a digital clock readout on the paper. Alarms can be set to remind users to ‘feed the cat’, ‘take your meds’, or whatever. The notes are expected to hit the market NEXT YEAR for circa $20 for a pack of 10. (Like your boss ragging on isn’t enough … now your post-it notes are gonna bitch at you.)
– “Times of London”

WHAT’S IN A NAME:
An analysis of the top 8,000 given names registered on birth certificates LAST YEAR reveals that parents are increasingly ignoring traditional spellings and making up their own phonetic versions. For hundreds of children born in 2007, Samuel became ‘Samiul’; Laura was spelled ‘Lora’; Connor became ‘Conna’; and even Anne was reduced to ‘An’. (This is dum.)
– “The Independent”

POWER OF SUGGESTION:
Scientists at Brookhaven National Laboratory in New York have determined that simply seeing food can trigger a physiological ‘feed me’ response. In the study, visual food cues caused brain activity to jump by 24%, mostly in the area related to drive and acquisition. So a constant barrage of pizza-delivery ads on TV could test your limits. (And don’t get us started on the Food Network.)
– “Men’s Health”

MY MSN YAHOO SPACE?
Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp is in talks with Microsoft about joining its contested bid for Yahoo!. The combination, which would merge Yahoo!, Microsoft’s MSN, and News Corp’s MySpace would create a juggernaut that could upend the Internet landscape. Yahoo! has resisted Microsoft’s  $44.6-billion bid, wishing to remain independent. But News Corp’s participation might allow Microsoft to up the ante substantially. (Soon everything online will belong to either Bill Gates or Google.)
– “NY Times”

BS DIAGNOSTICS:
Some handy medical terms to use when you need a day off work …
• Anomia … Having trouble thinking of an object’s name.
• Diaphoresis … Excessive sweating.
• Ecchymosis … A bruise.
• Epistaxis … A bloody nose.
• Eructation … Burping.
• Onychomycosis … Fungal infection of the nails.
• Xerostomia … Dry mouth.
– “Real Simple Magazine”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• When you’re driving at 80 km/hr (50 mph) fully half the gas your vehicle consumes is used to overcome wind resistence.
• There’s almost as much bacteria on a shopping cart handle or vending machine button as there is on a public restroom surface.

BS CHRONOMETER 04.11.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [44] Steve Azar, Greenville MS, country singer (“I Don’t Have To Be Me [‘Til Monday]”)

1970 [38] Trevor Linden, Medicine Hat AB, NHL centre (Vancouver Canucks)

1973 [35] Jennifer Esposito, NYC, TV actress (‘Andrea’ on “Samantha Who?” since 2007)/movie actress (“Crash”)

1981 [27] Alexandre Burrows, Pincourt QC, NHL winger (Vancouver Canucks)

1987 [21] Joss Stone (Joscelyn Stoker), Dover UK, pop/soul singer (“Tell Me ‘Bout It”, “You Had Me”)

SATURDAY –
TV personality David Letterman (“Late Show”) is 61; Author Tom Clancy (“Sum of All Fears”) is 61; Movie actor Andy Garcia (“Ocean’s Eleven”) is 52; Country singer Vince Gill (“Building Bridges”) is 51; NHL defenceman Roman Hamrlik (Montréal Canadiens) is 34; Pop/rock bassist Guy Berryman (Coldplay) is 30; MLB relief pitcher Jordan De Jong (Toronto Blue Jays) is 29; Movie actress Claire Danes (“Stardust”) is 29; TV actress Jennifer Morrison (“House”) is 29; Pop/rock singer-guitarist Brendon Urie (Panic At The Disco) is 21.

SUNDAY –
Movie actor Ron Perlman (“Hellboy”) is 58; Bandleader Max Weinberg (“Late Night With Conan O’Brien”) is 57; Rock singer-guitarist Aaron Lewis (Staind) is 36; One-hit-wonder Lou Bega (“Mambo #5”) is 33; NHL forward Arron Asham (New Jersey Devils) is 30.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Barbershop Quartet Day”, honoring the 1938 founding of SPEBSQSA (‘Society for the Preservation and Encouragement of Barber Shop Quartet Singing in America’) in Tulsa OK. It’s the 70th anniversary so altogether now … hmmmm.
• “8-Track Tape Day”, a time for nostalgic memories of the old cartridge tape format of the 1970s. Get listeners to flip through their dusty tapes and call in some of the weirder titles.
• “Thank You School Librarian Day”, a day for students to express gratitude to the person they’ve grown to know and love through a thousand detentions.
• “World Grits Festival”, through Sunday in St George SC, the 21st annual celebration in the little town that eats more grits per capita than any other place in the world.
NET: http://www.worldgritsfestival.com

SATURDAY –
• “Licorice Day”. The best kind? We say ‘zout’ (salt) from The Netherlands. A recent UK study says licorice is good for dental health. (If you like black teeth, presumably.)
• “Look Up At The Sky Day”, because cloudscapes are the greatest free show on Earth!
NET: http://www.cloudappreciationsociety.org
• “Teens Against Zits Day”. Wouldn’t that mean that someone, somewhere is actually FOR them?
• “Vote Lawyers Out of Office Day”, a day of commitment to never, ever vote for a shyster.

SUNDAY –
• “Scrabble Day”, honoring one of the world’s most popular games on the birthday of its inventor, Alfred Butts, a jobless architect who came up with the idea during the Depression. The game was just a fad with his friends until a Macy’s executive saw it being played at a resort  in 1952, and the world’s largest department store at the time soon began carrying it.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1989 [19] Cher wins ‘Best Actress’ Academy Award for “Moonstruck”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1961 [47] Bob Dylan makes his professional singing debut at Folk City in NYC’s Greenwich Village

1981 [27] Van Halen guitarist Eddie Van Halen weds actress Valerie Bertinelli (they divorce in 2005)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1947 [61] Jackie Robinson becomes 1st African-American to ‘cross the color line’ in modern Major League Baseball (Brooklyn Dodgers)

1989 [19] 1st NHL playoff goal by a goaltender (Ron Hextall, Philadelphia Flyers)

2000 [08] AT&T Park in San Francisco CA, Minute Maid Park in Houston TX, and Comerica Park in Detroit MI open

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1996 [12] Greg Norman shoots 63 at Masters Golf Championship to tie lowest-ever round in a major tournament

2003 [05] Detroit Tigers lose to Chicago White Sox to become the first-ever MLB team to start a season with 9 consecutive losses … twice in-a-row

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] 2008 CMT Music Awards (Nashville TN)
[Mon] 2008 Canadian Screenwriting Awards (Toronto)
[Mon] “Can You Duet” debuts (CMT)
[Tues] Husband Appreciation Day
[Tues] “Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert” CD/DVD set released
[Tues] That Sucks Day
[Tues] IRS Tax Day
[Wed] Stress Awareness Day
[Wed] International Noise Awareness Day
This Week Is … Folding Road Maps Week
This Month Is … Woodworking Month

BULL’S BITS

WHAT FEMMES ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• “How Do You Know He’s the One?” – Flair
• “Could He Be Cheating?” – “Ladies’ Home Journal”
• “Look Instantly Hotter!” – Cosmopolitan
• “10 Best Grilled Cheeses” – Chatelaine
• “5 Easy Steps to the Big O” – Glamour

WHAT GUYS ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• “Hottest Girls of Dancing With the Stars” – Maxim
• “Jessica Alba: Still On Top?” – FHM
• “How to Score in a Checkout Line” – AskMen.com
• “3 Steps Toward Playing Better Air Guitar” – Men’s Health
• “Are You in a ‘Bromance’ or is It Just a Man Crush?” – Details

BS TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Mariah Carey – “Touch My Body”
4. Chris Brown – “With You”
3. Lil Wayne f/Static Major – “Lollipop”
2. Sara Bareilles – “Love Song”
1. Flo Rida f/T-Pain – “Low”
– BigChampagne online music measurement

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If the universe wanted us to be thin, food wouldn’t taste so good.

BS ‘U-PICK TRIVIA’:
What’s the difference between a rabbit and a hare?
a. Rabbits are usually seen in the daytime.
b. Rabbits generally have shorter ears & legs. [CORRECT]
c. Rabbits are born covered with fur and with their eyes open.

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could physically transport yourself to any place in the world at this moment, where would you go?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 31% of us have done THIS more than once with the same person.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Broken up.
 
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Feed the wolf as you will, he will always look to the forest.

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