The Bull Sheet

April 13, 2012

Friday, April 13, 2012        Edition: #4727

Here, Have Another Sheetload!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Saturday there’s an auction of memorabilia from Marvel Comics-based movies at the Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo, including 221 props from the likes of “Captain America”, “Iron Man”, and “Thor” (NET: http://bit.ly/zmfV4h) . . . Almost 9 months after calling it quits, E! News has confirmed that Marc Anthony has filed for divorce from Jennifer Lopez in Los Angeles Superior Court (yep, you guessed it – he cited ‘irreconcilable differences’) . . . The 1st promo for Charlie Sheen’s new FX show “Anger Management” has surfaced (only lasts 15 seconds but still manages to make fun of “Two-and-a-Half Men”) . . . In related news, Sheen has asked ex-wife Denise Richards to guest star in his new sitcom – and she accepted! (thought they hated each other?) . . . In one of her typical Twitter rants, Courtney Love claims that Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl ‘had his hands all over’ her daughter Frances Bean (Grohl calls the accusation ‘upsetting, offensive, and absolutely untrue’) . . . Los Angeles nightclub The Sayers Room is under investigation after 19-year-old “Hunger Games” actor Alexander Ludwig was spotted leaving the over-21 hotspot this week (welcome to celebrity, kid) . . . And the SmokingGun.com has revealed that when Mary J Blige is on the road, her tour rider demands her dressing room be decked out with Red Vines licorice, Aveda candles, and – a brand new toilet seat (revealing one thing she has in common with Queen Elizabeth II).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “ACM Presents: Lionel Richie & Friends in Concert” (CBS) – Tonight a 2-hour special taped at Las Vegas’ MGM Grand Garden Arena features guest performers The Band Perry, Jason Aldean, Jennifer Nettles, Kenny Chesney, Luke Bryan, Sara Evans, Tim McGraw and more.
NET: http://www.cbs.com/shows/lionel_richie_and_friends/
• Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival (Indio, California) – Today the 13th annual edition of what’s now a 2-weekend event gets underway with Arctic Monkeys, Black Keys, Bon Iver, David Guetta, Dr Dre w/Snoop Dogg, Feist, Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds, Radiohead, and The Shins. Late rapper Nate Dogg will reportedly appear … as a hologram. Next weekend features the same lineup.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Lionel Richie (“Tuskegee”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Bear Hands (“High Society”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight The Fray (“Scars & Stories”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Bonnie Raitt (“Slipstream”).
• Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction (Cleveland, Ohio) – Saturday at the 27th annual ceremony Green Day inducts Guns ‘N Roses (Axl Rose says he’s NOT attending); Rod Stewart sings with The Faces for the 1st time in 19 years; also inducted: Beastie Boys (by Chuck D), Donovan (by John Mellencamp), Red Hot Chili Peppers (by Chris Rock), and others. A TV special of the event airs on HBO in May.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Josh Brolin (“Men in Black III”, out May 25th); musical guest Australian singer/songwriter Gotye (“Making Mirrors”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Far East Movement (“Dirty Bass”).
• “Trisha’s Southern Kitchen” (Food Network) – Saturday country singer Trisha Yearwood (Mrs Garth Brooks) debuts a new cooking show that highlights family-inspired recipes and traditions.
• “Who Do You Think You Are?” (NBC) – Tonight Lionel Richie (he’s freakin’ everywhere!) looks for information about his great-grandfather.

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Adele – She’s now the wealthiest young British musician with a £20 million ($32 million) fortune, according to the new edition of the “Sunday Times Rich List”.
• Britney Spears – The rumor she’s joining “The X Factor” (FOX) as a judge is growing stronger, Deadline.com reporting she’s close to signing a $15-million deal for 1 season.
• Dierks Bentley – Tonight the 20-city 2012 leg of his “Country & Cold Cans Tour” kicks off in Los Angeles at the Nokia Theatre. Opening act is Eli Young Band.
• Florence & The Machine – Saturday they embark on a 15-city North American tour in Santa Barbara, California that also includes stops at Coachella, New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, and NYC’s Radio City Music Hall.
• Fun – “We Are Young” has become the 1st single in history to score digital sales of 300,000 or more for 6 successive weeks. It’s also the 1st tune to surpass 3 million digital sales this year.
• Green Day – They’re set to release 3 new albums between September and January. The triptych will be called “¡Uno!”, “¡Dos!”, and “¡Tré!”.
• Kanye West – Insiders say he thinks Kim Kardashian is ‘his Beyoncé’. (Downgrade!)
• Lauryn Hill – Saturday she’s scheduled to perform in Britain for the first time in 5 years in a one-off show at London’s Indigo2. (If things go true to form, she’ll either show up hours late or not at all.)
• Nicki Minaj – Her sophomore album “Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded” has debuted atop the Soundscan sales chart, giving her 2 straight #1 albums.
• Rascal Flatts – They’re new album “Changed” tops the new ‘Billboard Country Album’ chart. It’s their 7th #1 album.

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Dorset UK – A 59-year-old blind woman who decided to write a book was devastated when her son stopped by to check her progress and found nothing on the pages because … her pen had run out of ink. Unbelievably, local police forensics experts agreed to recover the text (in their spare time!) using a special process to read the indentations on the 26 completed pages. (It reads: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. The quick brown fox jumps over …”)
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Montgomery, Alabama – The nightclub business in Alabama must be hungry for customers. In addition to ‘Karaoke Night’ and ‘Fat Tuesday’, the Rose Supper Club in Montgomery is holding ‘Food Stamp Friday’. Club-goers with a valid food-stamp card get free shots at the door and a discounted $5-entrance fee. (Rush Limbaugh’s going to go ape-sheet when he hears about this!)
– “NY Post”
• Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – A city councilor who already pays his staff of 10 over $650,000 yearly and a PR consultant $30,000 has defended spending an additional $28,800 in taxpayer funds on a company to manage his … ‘social media strategy’. At age 53, he contends, he’s ‘too old’ to understand Facebook and Twitter. (Come election time, voters will no doubt decide he’s too old to remain in office.)
– UPI.com

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:

• “The Cabin In the Woods” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): 5 friends go for a break at a remote cabin, where they get more than they bargained for. Stars Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Connolly. Shot in Vancouver … in 2009. Postponed because the studio wanted to convert it to 3-D, but that plan was eventually scrapped.
NET: http://discoverthecabininthewoods.com
• “Lockout” ( PG-13 Si-Fi Thriller ): A man wrongly convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage against the US is offered his freedom if he can rescue the president’s daughter from an outer space prison that’s been taken over by violent inmates. Stars Guy Pearce, Maggie Grace, Peter Stormare, Vincent Regan. Shot in Serbia.
NET: http://www.lockoutfilm.com
• “The Three Stooges” ( PG Comedy ): A Farrelly Bros take on the classic comedy trio who made dozens of shorts beginning in the 1930s. The storyline follows ‘Curly, Larry, and Moe’ as they try to save their childhood orphanage, inadvertently stumble onto a murder plot, and end up on a reality TV show. Stars Sean Hayes, Chris Diamantopoulos, Will Sasso, Jane Lynch.
NET: http://www.threestooges.com

TITANIC SNAPSHOT:
Sunday is the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the “Titanic” (had you heard?). A few fast facts …
• ‘HMS Titanic’ was never christened.
• The luxury liner had every modern day amenity and extravagance, the reason a 1st class ticket cost $4,700 (around $50,000 in today’s money).
• One crew member, John Coffey, jumped ship in Ireland after feeling a sense of foreboding.
• The ship received 6 ice warnings the day of the collision and ignored every one.
• A lifeboat drill was cancelled for some unknown reason on the day of the sinking.
• Shortly before midnight on April 14th, 1912 the ship collided with an iceberg causing it to sink at 2:20 am on April 15th.
• Of the 2,224 who boarded in Southampton, England, 1,514 died as the ship sank.
• Author Morgan Robertson wrote a book 14 years prior to the sinking about a fictional ship, the largest in the world, that hit an iceberg on an April night. The name of that boat: ‘The Titan’.
– Condensed from TheToiletPaper.com

LIVING TOO LONG?
In a new report, “Dementia: a Public Health Priority”, the World Health Organization estimates that the number of dementia cases worldwide will triple by 2050, from the 36 million people living with the condition today to an estimated 115 million. The condition is on the rise, WHO says, because people are living longer due to advances in medical care, particularly in poorer countries. Dementia tends to afflict older people, and with more of the population living deeper into old age, the condition will become much more common. (Is it worth having 20 extra years if they’re the years from age 75 to 95?)
– CBC.ca

“THE GREAT GATSBY”, BROUGHT TO YOU BY …
Yahoo! has revealed it’s investigating e-book advertisements as a way to stimulate its earnings. In a pair of patent applications, the company proposes that users could be offered titles at a variety of prices depending on the ads’ prominence. Greater levels of advertising, which may be more valuable to an advertiser but potentially more distracting to a reader, would warrant higher discounts. Ads could be offered as hyperlinks; as ‘dynamic content’, such as video; or as boxes at the bottom of a page saying ‘brought to you by company X’. (How to screw up a nifty invention!)
– TheGlobeandMail.com

BS FRIDAY THE 13TH FACTS:

• The fear of Friday the 13th is called ‘paraskavedekatriaphobia’.
• The illogical phobia may trace back to 1307 when, on a Friday the 13th, French King Philip IV rounded up hundreds of monks and tortured them into admitting a variety of heresies.
• In Formula 1 racing, there is no car #13. The number has been banned after 2 drivers were killed in crashes, both driving cars with that number.
• Tupac Shakur was shot and killed in Las Vegas on a Friday the 13th.
• In a hangman’s noose there are 13 twists of the rope; there are also 13 steps to the gallows.
– FOX News

BS CHRONOMETER 04.13.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [62] Ron Perlman, NYC, movie actor (“Hellboy” movies, “Beauty & The Beast”)

1951 [61] Max Weinberg, South Orange NJ, rock drummer (Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band)/TV bandleader (“Late Night With Conan O’Brien” 1993-2009)

1972 [40] Aaron Lewis, Rutland VT, rock singer (Staind-“Believe”, “Right Here”)

1975 [37] Lou Bega, Monaco di Baviera, Germany, one-hit-wonder pop singer (“Mambo #5”)

SATURDAY –
Country singer Loretta Lynn (“Coal Miner’s Daughter”) is 77; Movie actor Adrien Brody (“The Pianist”) is 39; TV actress Sarah Michelle Gellar (“Ringer”) is 35; Indie rock singer Win Butler (Arcade Fire) is 32; Movie actor Nick Krause (“The Descendants”) is 20; Movie actress Abigail Breslin (“Little Miss Sunshine”) is 16.

SUNDAY –
Movie actress Emma Thompson (“Nanny McPhee”) is 53; Rock guitarist Ed O’Brien (Radiohead) is 44; Movie actor Seth Rogen (“Knocked Up”) is 30; Rock drummer De’Mar Hamilton (Plain White T’s) is 28; Movie actress Emma Watson (“Harry Potter”) is 22.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Friday the 13th”, one of 3 in 2012, by tradition a day of bad luck.
OTHER BS UNLUCKY THINGS:
– Good luck: You keep a rabbit’s foot in your pocket. Bad luck: It’s chocolate.
– Good luck: Your boyfriend’s getting in shape. Bad luck: So he’ll fit in your clothes.
– Good luck: Your wife meets you at the door naked. Bad luck: She’s coming home.
– Good luck: You’re hitchhiking and a trucker pulls over. Bad luck: You were using the wrong finger.
– Good luck: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad luck: He weighs 460 lbs.

• “Scrabble Day”, honoring one of the world’s most popular games on the anniversary of the 1899 birth date of its inventor, Alfred Butts, a jobless architect who came up with the idea during the Great Depression of the 1930s. A few facts …
– Among the proposed names for early versions of ‘Scrabble’ were ‘Lexiko’ and ‘Criss Cross Words’.
–  After ‘Scrabble’ was trademarked in 1948, the game was manufactured by friends and family, who painstakingly stamped letters on wooden tiles one at a time. The rate of production: 12 games an hour.
– The game was just a fad with Butts’ friends until a Macy’s executive saw it being played at a resort  in 1952 and the then-world’s largest department store soon began carrying it.

SATURDAY –
• “Baby Massage Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Saturday in April to salute the growing practice that is said to soothe, relax, and stimulate babies.
NET: http://www.babymassage.net

• “International Moment of Laughter Day”, a day to take the time to experience the power of laughter. Ha!

SUNDAY –
• “Gripers Day”, a good day to have listeners call in with life’s little annoyances such as …
– People behind you in supermarkets who run their carts into the back of your ankle.
– That dog in the neighborhood that barks at everything.
– That driver behind you who blasts the horn because you let a pedestrian cross.

• “Take a Wild Guess Day”, honoring hunches, guesses, speculation, and other forms of intuitive intelligence.

• “That Sucks Day”, the 9th annual celebration of failure, incompetence, dissatisfaction, mediocrity, apathy, chaos, tomfoolery, buffoonery, and jackassery.
NET: http://www.thatsucks.net

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1985 [27] Originally a radio-only broadcast, the ‘Grand Ole Opry’ debuts on TV

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

2000 [12] Metallica files a copyright infringement suit against online music-sharing service Napster, initiating a music industry backlash against free downloads

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .

1972 [40] 1st-ever MLB baseball players’ strike ends after 13 days

1997 [15] At age 21, Tiger Woods wins his 1st Master golf tournament, becoming the youngest player to do so (also sets a record by finishing at 18-under-par)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1996 [16] 26-year-old Eric Strickland wins $1 million by running 10 straight racks without missing a shot in a 9-ball billiards tournament in Dallas, Texas

2006 [06] In Lincoln, Nebraska, Kevin Holder is arrested – again – for the 226th time (this one, for burglary, is added to his 43-page rap sheet)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Fast-Food Day
[Mon] 116th Boston Marathon
[Mon] Eggs Benedict Day
[Mon] Stress Awareness Day
[Tues] IRS Tax Payday (USA)
This Week Is … Crime Victims Rights Week
This Month Is … Car Care Month

BULL’S BITS


DOG SCIENCE FAIR PROJECTS:
• ‘Water Dish vs Toilet Bowl: A Taste Test’
• ‘The Aerodynamics of Sticking Your Head Out a Car Window’
• ‘The Visible Dissected Cat’
• ‘Using a Particle Accelerator to Separate Kibbles from Bits’
• ‘Your Master’s Leg: A Study in Friction’
• ‘Because We Can: Why Dogs Lick Themselves’
• ‘Radar Bitch-Finder’

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Where’s the strangest place you have ever fallen asleep?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Thank-you for not annoying me more than you do.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question: Nearly one-quarter of THIS goes to waste each year.
Answer: Fruit.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

We first make our habits, then our habits make us.

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