BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The hunt for a director for “The Hunger Games” sequel “Catching Fire” is reportedly down to Bennett Miller (“Moneyball”) and Francis Lawrence (“I Am Legend”), one of which will replace departing director Gary Ross (will they fight to the death for the honor?) . . . This week Lindsay Lohan has filmed a guest appearance for an upcoming episode of “Glee” (FOX), which a rep for the show describes as a ‘full scene’ that’s ‘meaty’ (huh?) . . . Actor Daniel Craig is defending the new partnership between ‘James Bond’ and Dutch brewer Heineken (reportedly worth $45 million), calling it ‘an unfortunate’ but necessary part of making a movie as expensive as the 23rd ‘Bond’ film, “Skyfall” (opening November 9th) . . . Simon Cowell tells “TMZ Live” that he’s ‘embarrassed’ and ‘uncomfortable’ over the revelations in the upcoming biography “Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell”, but admits he granted author Tom Bower access in an attempt to get the facts right (his PR guy warned him, but Simon didn’t listen) . . . And screenwriter Joe Eszterhas has released an expletive-filled recording of actor Mel Gibson online, taped by his 15-year-old son during a family visit to Gibson’s Costa Roca home, purportedly in order to prove that the actor ‘badly needs help’ (this unseemly feud has been going for weeks now – c’mon guys, let it go!).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Fox’s 25th Anniversary Special” (FOX) – Sunday celebrities honor the network’s silver anniversary with highlights from iconic series and tributes to memorable moments. Scheduled cast reunions include “Ally McBeal”, “Beverly Hills 90210”, “In Living Color”, “Married … With Children”, “That ‘70s Show”, and “The X-Files”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight The Civil Wars (“Barton Hollow”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Trentemoller (“Into the Great Wide Yonder”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Bruce Springsteen (“Wrecking Ball”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight  Jason Aldean (“My Kinda Party”); Lionel Richie (“Tuskegee”). Rerun.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host “Harry Potter” actor Daniel Radcliffe; musical guest Lana Del Rey (“Born to Die”). This is a rerun of her infamously booted performance.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Meat Loaf (“Hell In a Handbasket”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – She’ll perform in a live webcast from NYC’s Ed Sullivan Theater on Monday, April 30th as part of the “Live on Letterman” series. The concert follows her appearance on “Late Show With David Letterman”, which airs later that night.
• Flo Rida – He’s facing a freeze on his assets in Australia unless he adheres to a court judgement ordering him to pay $80,000 to the promoters of the “Fat as Butter” music festival. He pulled out of his appearance last October citing ‘unforeseen circumstances’.
• Lionel Richie – His album “Tuskegee” is #1 on this week’s SoundScan sales chart, thanks to the CBS-TV special “ACM Presents: Lionel Richie & Friends In Concert” (April 13). It’s his first #1 album since “Dancing On the Ceiling” in 1986.
• Men At Work – 58-year-old Greg Ham, the musician behind the flute riff on the mega-hit “Down Under”, has been found dead at his Melbourne home by friends who hadn’t heard from him for a week. Police are not as yet releasing details about the incident.
• One Direction – Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, and Niall Horan are now available in doll form, giving a fairly accurate picture of their target audience.
• Train – Sunday in NYC they’re being honored for their charitable work at the TJ Martell Foundation Family Day, which supports innovative research for leukemia, cancer, and AIDS. They’ll perform a live acoustic set at the event.
• Willie Nelson – Today he’s being saluted with the unveiling of an 8-foot statue in Austin, Texas. Sculpted by Clete Shields, it’s a gift from Capital Area Statues to honor the veteran singer-songwriter.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Chimpanzee” ( G-Rated Documentary ): The latest Disneynature “Earth Day” doc follows a 3-year-old chimpanzee who is separated from his troop and subsequently adopted by a fully-grown male. Narrated by Tim Allen (“Last Man Standing”).
NET: http://disney.go.com/disneynature/chimpanzee/
• “The Lucky One” ( PG-13 Drama ): Zac Efron stars as a Marine who travels to North Carolina after serving 3 tours in Iraq to search for the unknown woman he believes was his good luck charm during the war. Co-stars Taylor Schilling, Blythe Danner, Riley Thomas Stewart.
NET: http://theluckyonemovie.warnerbros.com/index.html
• “Marley” ( PG-13 Limited-Release Biography ): This new doc on reggae legend Bob Marley (1945-81) streams via Facebook simultaneously with its release in theaters. It can also be rented via video-on-demand, with a portion of the proceeds going to charity.
NET: http://www.magpictures.com/marley/
• “Think Like a Man” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Four friends conspire to turn the tables on their women when they discover the ladies have been using Steve Harvey’s relationship advice against them. Stars Chris Brown (in a brief appearance), Gabrielle Union, Kevin Hart, Michael Ealy.
NET: http://www.thinklikeaman-movie.com
• “To The Arctic 3-D” ( G-Rated Documentary ): A journey into the lives of a mother polar bear and her 7-month-old cubs as they navigate the changing Arctic wilderness they call home. Narrated by Academy Award-winner Meryl Streep. Showing in IMAX theaters exclusively.
NET: http://www.imax.com/movies/m/to-the-arctic/

CLARK V SEACREST:
The late Dick Clark (d April 18) was Ryan Seacrest’s idol. A comparison of the two…
Clark Radio: WFIL Philadelphia, “Dick Clark National Music Survey”
Seacrest Radio: KIIS-FM Los Angeles, “American Top 40”
Clark TV: “American Bandstand”, “$10,000 Pyramid”
Seacrest TV: “American Idol”, “E! News”
Clark Producer: “American Music Awards”, “Golden Globe Awards”, “TV’s Bloopers & Practical Jokes”
Seacrest Producer: “Denise Richards: It’s Complicated”, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians”, “Kourtney & Kim Take New York”
Clark Movie: “Because They’re Young”
Seacrest Movie: “Shrek Forever After”
Clark Tradition: “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve”
Seacrest Tradition: “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest”
– BS Original

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• 21-year-old Kimberley Vlaeminck of Coutrai, Belgium has spent the past 3 years trying to eradicate her tattoos … a total of 56 stars inked across her cheeks, chin, and forehead. In 2009, the then 18-year-old claimed she’d only asked for a small star near her eye but ended up with an entire constellation after falling asleep in the tattoo artist’s chair. Seems that wasn’t exactly the truth. Now she’s stuck with her dumb decision, despite shelling out $18,000 on painful but ineffective laser surgery. (You should never drink and … ink.)
– RadarOnline
• Last week Mohammad Ashan, a mid-level Taliban commander in Afghanistan, showed up a police checkpoint in the district of Sar Howza with a wanted poster … of himself. Afghan officials, perplexed by the man’s misguided motives, arrested him on the spot. Ashan is suspected of plotting at least 2 attacks on Afghan security forces. When asked if it was indeed a picture of him on the poster, Ashan answered with an incredible amount of enthusiasm, “Yes, yes, that’s me! Can I get my award now?” It seems all he wanted was to claim the finder’s fee … $100. (This is much cheaper than waging war … offer a couple thousand rewards and be done with it!)
– “Washington Post”

FAMOUS FAILURES:
Almost all celebrities have something to peddle, as developing (or at least putting their name on) products can provide a lucrative secondary profit stream. But celebrities have their fair share of product flops as well. Here are a few of the biggest …
• Britney Spears – Restaurants can come and go quickly but the demise of her Manhattan restaurant NYLA took less than 6 months back in 2002. The death blow was the result of chronic health code violations.
• Hulk Hogan – In the late ‘80s-to-early ‘90s, the wrestler’s face was plastered on everything from lunchboxes to action figures to toothbrushes. In 1995, he opened an Italian restaurant in Minnesota’s Mall of America to capitalize on his fame. It was dead in less than a year.
• Jennifer Lopez – Several of her clothing lines have ceased production: ‘JLo by Jennifer Lopez’ in 2007; ‘JustSweet’ and her ‘Sweetface’ line in 2009. Also, her Latin cuisine restaurant in Pasadena, California called ‘Madres’ abruptly closed without any official announcement in 2008.
• Kanye West – He launched a women’s clothing line called ‘Dw’ during Paris Fashion Week in 2011 that was universally panned. Even though it flopped, he’s vowing to take another run at it this Fall with a new line.
• The Kardashians – In 2010 they introduced their own prepaid debit card that had a monthly fee plus additional charges each time the card was loaded, bills were paid, or the user talked to customer service. When it’s high fees were about to be investigated, it was quickly shut down.
(The bottom line … an instantly-recognizable face and a throng of adoring fans doesn’t ensure the success of celebrity products.)
– Invesopedia.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
7,500 hours of television programming, including more than 30 series and 250 specials, were put out by Dick Clark Productions. Math that up and it comes out to almost a full year of constant TV.
– TTP

BS CHRONOMETER 04.20.12

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [63] Jessica Lange, Cloquet MN, movie actress (Oscars-“Blue Sky”, “Tootsie”)

1972 [40] Carmen Electra (Tara Leigh Patrick), Sharonville OH, movie actress (“Meet the Spartans”, “Scary Movie”)/ex-Mrs Dave Navarro (2003-07)/ex-Mrs Dennis Rodman (1998-99)

1978 [34] Clay Cook, Snellville GA, country musician (Zac Brown Band-“Colder Weather”, “Chicken Fried”)

1983 [29] Miranda Kerr, Sydney, Australia, fashion model (Victoria’s Secret)/wed to movie actor Orlando Bloom (2010)

SATURDAY –
Queen Elizabeth II of Britain is 86; Punk rock singer Iggy Pop (The Stooges) is 65; Movie actress-spokesmodel Andie MacDowell (“Four Weddings & A Funeral”) is 54; Rock singer Robert Smith (The Cure) is 53; Funk-reggae singer Michael Franti (Spearhead) is 46; Rock guitarist David Brenner (Theory Of a Deadman) is 34; Movie actor James McAvoy (“The Last King of Scotland”) is 33; NFL quarterback Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys) is 32.

SUNDAY –
Movie star Jack Nicholson (“The Shining”) is 75; Classic rock singer Peter Frampton (“Show Me the Way”) is 62; Classic rock singer Paul Carrack (Squeeze, Mike & The Mechanics) is 61; TV personality Sherri Shepherd (“The View”, “Dancing With the Stars”) is 45; Rock bassist Shavo Odadjian (System Of a Down) is 38; Rock singer-guitarist Daniel Johns (Silverchair) is 33.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Day of Silence”, the 15th annual observance in which students take a vow of silence to protest bullying, harassment, and discrimination in schools.
NET: http://www.dayofsilence.org
• “420” or “Pot Smokers Day”, the unofficial holiday of potheads. A few facts …
– ‘Four-twenty’ became an emblematic number for dopers in the 1970s. It comes from the time 4:20 pm, the secret ‘burn time’ originated by a group of pot-smoking students at California’s San Rafael High School back in 1971. (“High Times”)
– Marijuana is the most lucrative domestic crop in the USA, worth almost $36 billion … more than corn and wheat combined. (DrugScience.org)
• “Look-Alike Day”, a day for people who are constantly mistaken for rich and famous celebrities to have some recognition of their own. So who do people say you look like?

SATURDAY –
• “Auctioneers Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Saturday of April to honor the traditional profession of auctioneering. Charity auctions celebrate by raising funds for various causes.
• “Husband Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Saturday of April as a day to appreciate your mate for all that he is and all the things he does for you. “Wife Appreciation Day” is coming up in September.
• “Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day”, the 6th annual celebration of the droopy-cheeked dog that’s a symbol of Britain. Is there an uglier beast on Earth?
• “Record Store Day”, an annual celebration on the 3rd Saturday in April of the old fashioned indie disc shops where people used to hang out and listen to the latest music. Iggy Pop is official ambassador of Record Store Day 2012. There are oodles of special releases to celebrate the day, many on vinyl. Among the artists participating: Arcade Fire, Black Keys, Bruce Springsteen, Eddie Vedder, Feist, Florence & The Machine, Garbage, Metallica, Paul McCartney, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and many others.
NET: http://recordstoreday.com/Home

SUNDAY –
• “Earth Day”, begun in 1970 and now the largest environmental event worldwide with over 1 billion people expected to participate in events that address environmental issues.
NET: http://www.earthday.org
• “Jelly Bean Day”. Originally they only came in a few colors but nowadays you can get them in lip-smacking flavors like Toasted Marshmallow, Café Latte, Margarita, A&W Root Beer, Bubble Gum, Strawberry Cheesecake, Buttered Popcorn, and Pina Colada.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/446vn5

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1992 [20] Madonna becomes ‘Highest-Paid Female Recording Star’ with a reported $60-million Time-Warner deal to form her own entertainment company (Maverick)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1912 [100] Boston’s elegant new baseball stadium, Fenway Park, opens (Red Sox edge NY Yankees 7-6)  BS FACTOID: As of Wednesday, the Red Sox have had 718 consecutive sellouts, the longest streak in Major League Baseball history. They’ll add to that with tonight’s game vs the Yankees.

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [20] World record ‘House of Cards’ measures 75-feet-high

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Movie Theater Day
[Mon] Talk Like Shakespeare Day
[Tues] Teach Your Children to Save Day
[Wed] Administrative Professionals Day
[Wed] Hairstylists Appreciation Day
This Week Is … Karaoke Week
This Month Is … Emotional Overeating Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

BS DUTIES OF THE QUEEN:
In honor of her nibs 86th birthday tomorrow (see Celebirthdays), here’s a brief outline of what her royal duties actually entail …
✓ Throw ceremonial 1st punch at British soccer riots.
✓ Feed the royal monkeys.
✓ Play local disc jockeys in donkey baseball games for charity.
✓ Represent the UK among the ‘Glorious Ladies of Wrestling’.
✓ Prevent Prince Harry from wearing T-shirts that say, “Wanna See the Royal Jewels?”
✓ Kick the Queen of Sweden’s butt in croquet.
✓ Tip like a big-shot.
✓ Pose for stamps.
– Adapted from ArtofHacking.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
You gotta break some eggs to make … a real mess on the neighbor’s car.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What are the most important characteristics in a partner? (61% of men surveyed for “Details” magazine say ‘someone you can talk to’. ‘Honesty’ and ‘a sense of humor’ also rate well.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to a new poll, the 3 foods we hate most are liver, tofu, and THIS.
Answer: Yogurt.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The world is divided into people who do things … and people who get the credit.