Tuesday, April 5, 2011        Edition: #4477
We Give a Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Tonight in Sydney veteran actor William Shatner kicks off his “Kirk, Crane & Beyond: William Shatner Live” tour of Australia & New Zealand, and he’s inviting fans worldwide to participate by tweeting questions for the Q&A segment (love him or hate him, you gotta admit – at age 80 – he’s amazing!) . . . Rutgers University has paid “Jersey Shore” star ‘Snooki’ $32,000 to speak at the school (“Students, if you don’t apply yourself this is how you may end up – an orange Oompa-Loompa”) . . . Snoop Dogg says he was asked to be part of the panel on Simon Cowell’s new US version of “The X Factor” talent show coming this Fall, but he turned it down (due to the no smoking policy?). . . Meantime, confirmed panelist LA Reid claims that Cheryl Cole from the show’s UK version will also serve as a judge on the new version (even though she’s unknown in the USA and has a heavy accent) . . . “House” actor Hugh Laurie tells “Daily Express” he feels guilty for failing to follow his father into the medical profession and fears his late dad would be disappointed to see him playing a doctor on TV (51-years-old and still worrying what daddy would think) . . . Actor James Franco has decided to shut down his Twitter.com page after upsetting corporate sponsors with his online messages (one less celeb ranting live, hurrah!) . . . And an Italian judge has decided there’s not enough evidence for fashion duo Domenico Dolce & Stefano Gabbana (Dolce & Gabbana) to stand trial for allegedly evading 1 billion euros in taxes by setting up a holding company in Luxembourg (we wouldn’t be surprised if the judge is now enjoying an all-expenses-paid Caribbean vacation).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – Selena Gomez & The Scene perform; OneRepublic performs; another couple is eliminated.
•  “Dressed to Kilt” (NYC) – Actor Sean Connery hosts this tribute to ‘Country Chic’, where Scottish couture meets country cool, at NYC’s Hammerstein Ballroom. Country artists serving as models include Big Kenny Alphin, Gary Allan, Kellie Pickler, and Kix Brooks. Proceeds go to war vet programs. Tickets for this kilts & cowboy boots mash-up cost $200-a-pop.
NET: http://www.dressedtokilt.com
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Duran Duran (“All You Need Is Now”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – The Decemberists (“The King Is Dead”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Soundtrack Of Our Lives (“Origin Vol 2”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Robbie Robertson (“How to Become Clairvoyant”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Mary Mary (“Something Big”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Fitz & The Tantrums (“Pickin’ Up The Pieces”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – She describes her new digs in Bel Air, California as a ‘medieval gothic castle, European-style’. She admits in “Rolling Stone” that the 12,000-sq-ft mansion she bought last year is so big, it scares her. (Simple solution … studio apartment.)
• Billy Joel – He’s axed plans to release his memoir, “The Book of Joel”, that was set to hit bookstores in June. It’s already written, edited, and ready for printing. So why’d he back out? He says his music describes his life better than anything else can. (BS translation: He’s embarrassed about all the shenanigans revealed in the book.
• Death Cab For Cutie – Today they’ll attempt to make the first-ever scripted, single-take music video to be shown live as it’s filmed. The video for their new single “You Are a Tourist” will be webcast as it’s made at 7 pm EST.
NET: http://www.youareatourist.com
• Foo Fighters – Tonight the documentary “Foo Fighters: Back & Forth” screens in some 80 theaters across America, followed by a live performance of the entire new album “Wasting Light” in 3-D. (The same program is scheduled in UK theaters Thursday and in Canada April 13th.)
NET: http://foofightersfilm.com
• Glasvegas – Today the Scottish rockers release their sophomore album, “Euphoric Heartbreak”. They plan to tour North America this Summer in support of the project.
• Ke$ha – She’s shot a guest role for the kids’ show “Victorious” (Nickelodeon), playing herself. Her 11-year-old brother Louie will also make an appearance in the episode.
• Lady Gaga – Her 56-year-old mother Cynthia Germanotta is said to be concerned about her health and plans to keep a watchful eye to make sure she eats properly and cuts down on alcohol intake. It just might work. A friend says that, while Gaga is one of the biggest, strangest, pop stars in the world, her relationship with her parents is very traditional.
• Rolling Stones – Bassist Bill Wyman, who retired in 1992, has reunited with his former bandmates to record a version of Bob Dylan’s “Watching the River Flow” for the compilation album “Boogie 4 Stu”, a tribute to the group’s co-founder Ian Stewart. It wasn’t a true reunion, however, as each member recorded his part in separate studios around-the-world.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Casino Jack” ( R-Rated Drama ): Kevin Spacey stars in the real-life story of Jack Abramoff who, aided by his business partner (Barry Pepper), uses his clout with some of the world’s most powerful men to gain wealth and influence. Co-stars Kelly Preston, Jon Lovitz.
• “I Love You Phillip Morris” ( R-Rated Dramedy ): Jim Carrey plays an average small-town businessman who turns into a flamboyant white-collar criminal. When he’s eventually sent to prison he meets the love of his life, a soft-spoken fellow inmate (Ewan McGregor).
• “Little Fockers” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Ben Stiller, Teri Polo, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, and Barbra Streisand return for this follow-up to “Meet the Parents” (2000) and “Meet the Fockers” (2004). This time the story centers around a birthday party for the ‘Focker’ twins.
• “TRON: Legacy” ( PG Sci-Fi Adventure ): In this sequel to the 1982 sci-fi classic, Jeff Bridges returns as arcade owner ‘Kevin Flynn’, who’s joined in the digital world where he’s been trapped for 20 years by his son (Garrett Hedlund). Co-stars Olivia Wilde.
• Also released today: “Friday Night Lights: The 5th Season” (TV); “Life Unexpected: The Complete Series” (TV); “TCM Greatest Classic Films: Johnny Weissmuller as Tarzan, Volume 1 & 2”; and “Tyler Perry’s House of Payne: Volume 7” (TV).

RETRO COOL:
They may be outmoded for practical use but good old fashioned manual typewriters have become a fashionable collector item amongst people too young to remember life before the digital era. Old Underwoods, Smith-Coronas, and Remingtons are being exhibited and swapped, recognized as well-designed, functional and beautiful machines. At events called ‘type-ins’, aficionados gather in bars and bookstores to compete to see who can bang away the fastest while tapping out letters to send via snail mail. (70 wpm … using only their thumbs.)
– “New York Times”

SLEEP YOURSELF SKINNY:
Managing sleep and stress levels can help in the battle against obesity, according to scientists at the Kaiser Permanente Center for Health Research. In a 6 month study of close to 500 obese people, it was found that those getting too little or too much sleep were less likely to lose weight.
Lower stress levels also predicted greater weight loss. One expert suggests that, in general, we all need to eat less, move more, and sleep well. (The new role model … surfer dudes.)
– BBC Health

HACKING YOUR RIDE:
A team of researchers at the Center for Automotive Embedded Systems Security has revealed that automobile computer systems can be hacked via the On-Board Diagnostics port, an access point typically used by mechanics to download data on the vehicle’s condition. Through this, they were able to hijack the car, allowing researchers to disable the brakes, turn the engine on-and-off, and control electrical systems such as the odometer, lights, climate control, radio, and locks. (We can only hope they’ve shared all this useful info online.)
– NewScientist.com

NOW ‘PERSONAL-SIZED’:
During economic downturns, it’s common for companies to reduce the size of products, thereby disguising price increases. Marketing campaigns tout the advantages of smaller versions as being ‘greener’ (less waste), ‘more portable’ (for the active lifestyle) or ‘healthier’ (fewer calories). Sometimes the smaller package isn’t even noticeable: Height and width might stay the same while the depth is shallower, so the product’s silhouette on the shelf looks the same. It’s sneaky, but companies know consumers are generally more sensitive to price changes than size changes. (Today’s show will only last 3 hours … because the boss won’t pay more.)
– “Globe & Mail”

FIRST FAKE FLESH:
Scientists worldwide are researching ways to produce meat in the laboratory, without killing any animals. As a stimulus, animal rights group PETA is offering a $1-million prize in a contest to make the first in vitro chicken meat and sell it to the public by June 30, 2012. The winning contestant must produce an in vitro chicken-meat product that has taste & texture indistinguishable from real chicken flesh to non-meat-eaters and meat-eaters alike. The pseudo-meat must also be manufactured in large enough quantities to be sold commercially, and successfully sold at a competitive price in at least 10 US states. (McDonald’s may have already won.)
– Neatorama.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• Energy is the largest industry on Earth (much larger than agriculture) and also has the highest capitalization (much higher than auto manufacturing).
– “The Atlantic”
• 1-in-6 people now live in India.
– “Daily Express”

BS CHRONOMETER 04.05.11

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1950 [61] Agnetha Faltskog, Jonkoping, Sweden, oldies singer (ABBA-“Dancing Queen”, “Mamma Mia”)

1966 [45] Mike McCready, Pensacola FL, rock guitarist (Pearl Jam-“The Fixer”, “World Wide Suicide”)

1967 [44] Troy Gentry, Lexington KY, country singer (Montgomery Gentry-“Roll With Me”, “Back When I Knew It All”)

1972 [39] Pat Green, San Antonio TX, country singer (“Let Me”, “Wave On Wave”)

1973 [38] Pharrell Williams, Virginia Beach VA, hip-hop artist (w/Ludacris-“Money Maker”, w/Snoop Dogg-“Drop It Like It’s Hot”)/music producer (his writing & producing duo The Neptunes have manufactured hits for Gwen Stefani, Usher, Nelly, Jay-Z among others)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ching Ming Festival” in Chinese communities around-the-world. Also known as “Tomb Sweeping Day”, it’s when families gather to tidy up the graves of ancestors.

• “Deep Dish Pizza Day”, celebrating ‘Chicago deep dish pizza’ as originated by Uno Chicago Grill, which opened in 1943. Why? Because you can’t possibly get enough fat-laden cheese and sausage onto a regular pie in order to cause immediate cardiac arrest.

• “Go For Broke Day”, a day to throw caution to the wind and go all out, give it all you’ve got, don’t hold back, all or nothing, start giving 110%, let ‘er rip, balls to the wall!

• “Make Your Children Laugh Day”, a simple way to enhance their happiness and your own. (It’s also a helluva lot easier than making adults laugh.)

• “One Day Without Shoes”, an annual event to promote awareness of the millions of children in the world who are shoeless. Last year, more than 250,000 people supported the cause by going barefoot.
NET: http://www.onedaywithoutshoes.com

• “Road Map Day”, the highlight of “Reading a Road Map Week”, which promotes map reading as an ‘enjoyable pastime’ and survival skill for drivers. The motto for the week is, ‘Happiness is knowing how to read a road map’. (Wow, it’s that simple? Who reads the map or GPS during your family trips?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1987 [24] FOX TV network debuts in primetime, originally offering just 2 Sunday night programs: “Married … With Children” (runs 10 years) and “The Tracey Ullman Show” (the original platform for “The Simpsons”)

2008 [03] Former NRA president & Hollywood actor Charlton Heston (“Ben-Hur”, “The Ten Commandments”) dies at age 84

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1971 [40] 1st woman to reach the North Pole (Fran Phipps, wife of Canadian pilot Weldy Phipps)

1989 [22] 1st network TV show to use Dolby Stereo Sound (“David Letterman”)

1993 [18] 1st female PA announcer at a Major League Baseball park (Sherry Davis wins the San Francisco Giants job over 499 others who audition)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2000 [11] ‘Loudest Burp’ on record, according to “Guinness Book of Records” (Paul Hunn lets one fly that registers 118.1 decibels, the equivalent of sitting in the front row at a rock concert)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] New Beers Eve
[Wed] Drowsy Driver Awareness Day
[Wed] Student Athlete Day
[Thurs] Masters Golf tourney begins (Augusta GA)
[Thurs] International Beaver Day
[Thurs] Beer Day
[Thurs] No Housework Day
This Week Is … Explore Your Career Options Week
This Month Is … Brussels Sprouts & Cabbage Month

BULL’S BITS

IF 99.9% IS GOOD ENOUGH, THEN …
• 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents today.
• 114,500 mismatched pairs of shoes will be shipped every year.
• 18,322 pieces of mail will be mishandled every hour.
• 2.5 million books will be shipped with the wrong covers.
• 315 entries in Webster’s Dictionary will be misspelled.
• 20,000 incorrect drug prescriptions will be written this year.
• 880,000 credit cards will have incorrect cardholder information on their magnetic strips.
• 5.5 million cases of soft drinks produced will be flat.
• 291 pacemaker operations will be performed incorrectly.
• A typical day would be 24 hours long … give or take 86.4 seconds.
– YSU.edu

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If it wasn’t for my faults, I’d be perfect.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
In 1998, “Titanic” had a record run atop the movie box office, spending 15 weeks at #1. But 13 years ago today, another movie finally knocked it off. Which was it?
a. “Saving Private Ryan”
b. “Lost in Space” [CORRECT. Believe it or not, it was the hokey sci-fi adventure based on the vintage TV show.]
c. “Shakespeare in Love”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Whose fame is hardest to explain?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Married men complain about THIS; single men don’t.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Time alone.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.