Friday, April 12, 2024 — Edition: #7697

Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Controversial football player and sometime actor O.J. Simpson died on Wednesday, his family has announced. He was 76. A statement posted to Simpson’s X account reads: “On April 10th, our father, Orenthal James Simpson, succumbed to his battle with cancer.” In February, Simpson denied he was in hospice care for prostate cancer, but he did admit in 2023 that he “caught cancer,” without specifying what type. The former NFL running back appeared in all 3 “Naked Gun” movies and worked as a football commentator for ABC. He was most well-known, however, for being charged and aquitted in the murders of his former wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ron Goldman.
-CBS
★ Final bids are being accepted today for the Cinema for Gaza auction to raise funds for the charity Medical Aid for Palestinians (MAP) — and more film stars have gotten involved. Joaquin Phoenix has donated a signed “Joker” poster, and will also sign, along with Lynne Ramsay, a poster for “You Were Never Really Here”, the 2017 crime thriller. Other late entries include 6 signed books from horrormeister Guillermo Del Toro and a signed “The Crown” script by Emma Corin. Bids are also being taken for a painting by “American History X” director Tony Kaye and a signed clapperboard from the cast and team behind “Hamlet”, including Joe Alwyn, Riz Ahmed, Timothy Spall and Morfyyd Clark. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mrx25zsm 
-HollywoodReporter
★ After taking on the plastic, fantastic world of Barbie Land, Margot Robbie is heading to the rich terrain of Monopoly. Her company is producing a live-action feature film based on the real estate-inspired board game. Hasbro Entertainment, the backers of Monopoly, will also produce. It’s unclear how Robbie and company plan to spin a narrative story from the 2-dimensional world of Monopoly, which the world’s most popular board game, according to Lionsgate films, which is also involved in the project.
-Variety
★ LeVar Burton has officially sealed the deal to host “Trivial Pursuit”, following extensive negotiations. TMZ quotes network sources as saying Burton has officially locked in the deal to host and executive produce the revived version of the game show for The CW. It has been reported there is an initial 12-episode order for the series. Burton was famously snubbed by Sony execs for the “Jeopardy!” hosting job a few years ago.
-TMZ
★ Netflix has released a trailer for season 3 of “Bridgerton”, which teases the obstacles that ‘Penelope Featherington’ and ‘Colin Bridgerton’ are set to face. Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton will take the lead in the next instalment of the hit series, and Julie Andrews’ infamous voiceover introduces the trailer, saying: “Dearest gentle reader, we have been apart for far too long. At last, London’s fashionable set has made its return, and it seems that our bon ton is moving with the changing tide.” Penelope has finally given up on her crush on Colin, but in the clip, she reveals that she’s eager to take a husband, and after being given the cold shoulder, Colin pledges to help her find a suitor. Season 3 premieres on May 16. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/43ekr5px
-DigitalSpy
★ The first footage of the Michael Jackson biopic “Michael” was unveiled at CinemaCon. Lionsgate studio closed out its presentation with a clip of the still-in-production film, which will hit theaters next spring. The footage included clips of Jackson’s childhood with his brothers, with the Jackson 5 glumly heading out to another show on a snowy morning, and Jaafar Jackson, Michael’s actual nephew, as the older version of Michael – both in the “Thriller” years and later performing ‘Man in the Mirror’. It was also announced that “Michael” will feature 30 songs.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): TBA
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Eisenberg, Susie Essman, Nathan Macintosh
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Liam Neeson, Fareed Zakaria (R)
• “After Midnight” (CBS/Global): W. Kamau Bell, Nish Kumar, Anjelah Johnson-Reyes (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Liam Neeson, Sheryl Crow, Kaz Rodriguez (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Sherri Shepherd, Jackie Fabulous
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Ryan Seacrest, Alfonso Ribeiro, Barenaked Ladies
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Maren Morris and Karina Argow, Wagner Moura
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Wilmer Valderrama, Mina Starsiak Hawk
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Lisa Ann Walter, Chef Kwame
• “20/20” (ABC): When a 16-year-old girl disappears, surveillance video shows her getting into an unknown vehicle; the community is shocked by who is behind the plot.
• “Fire Country” (CBS): After a fire camp inmate escapes from Three Rock, deputy sheriff Mickey, who has a surprising connection to the Leones, is called to investigate.
• “2024 Masters Tournament” (Check local listings): Second Round, from Augusta National Golf Club
SATURDAY-
• “CMT Storytellers” (CMT): Little Big Town performs and shares stories about their songs.
• “2024 Masters Tournament” (Check local listings): Third Round, from Augusta National Golf Club
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Ryan Gosling; Chris Stapleton performs
SUNDAY-
• “2024 Masters Tournament” (Check local listings): Fourth Round, from Augusta National Golf Club
• “American Idol” (ABC): The top 20 perform; Lauren Spencer-Smith, Teddy Swims and Paul Russell also take the stage.
• “The 100th: Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden — The Greatest Arena Run of All Time” (CBS): His record-breaking 100th performance at MSG; appearances by Sting and Jerry Seinfeld.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Camila Cabello — wanted a big change as she enters her new musical era, so she dyed her hair platinum blonde. But before doing so, she considered dying it silver, pink or light blue — in fact, light blue almost won. Quote: “If something different is happening musically, it helps to look like a different person.” Not only is she the new face of Bacardi rum, her new album “C, XOXO” will be out this summer.
• Lizzo – posted a hilarious vid in which she gives her best tips for getting “that summer bod”. While wearing a colorful swimsuit, she suggests: “Block your ex,” as she tosses her cellphone into a swimming pool. “Remember to hydrate excessively,” she says next, while doing a bicep curl with a bottle of wine. Finally, she adds: “And remember, you can never be too extra.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2s39p6fu
• Vampire Weekend — have joined the lineup for Coachella this weekend. They’ll play the Outdoor Theatre stage tomorrow starting at 5pm. Their new album “Only God Was Above Us”, dropped last week. Lana Del Rey, Tyler, The Creator and Doja Cat are the headliners.
• Lenny Kravitz – has given us a peek into how he keeps those chiseled abs. The almost-60-year-old shared a video on Instagram of him at the gym doing sit-ups, on an incline, while lifting a barbell over his head – and wearing leather pants, a mesh shirt and boots. One comment: “My man never breaks character. Full time rockstar!” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/56kspnpj
• Aerosmith — After postponing their “Peace Out” farewell/50th anniversary tour in late 2023 due to vocal cord damage and a fractured larynx suffered by Steven Tyler, they have finally announced rescheduled dates. Things begin on Sept. 20 in Pittsburgh, with Teddy Swims as opening act for the first show, and The Black Crowes aboard for the remainder. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3xz8nvua
• Beyoncé and Hank Williams – Thanks to the magic of AI, Bey’s new hit country song ‘Texas Hold ‘Em’ can now be heard as it would sound if Hank Williams recorded it. The Instagram account “There I Ruined it” put the lyrics, cadence and exact notes of Bey’s hit song to Williams’ traditional voice. (Worth it just to hear “Hank” make a Def Leppard reference!) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4yx6v2v3
• Maren Morris — has teamed with her former schoolteacher and friend Karina Argow to release her first picture book “Addie Ant Goes on an Adventure”. To order a signed copy, or to see details on her book tour, visit www.addieant.com .
• Lee Brice – has teamed up with Nate Smith and Hailey Whitters for his new song ‘Drinkin’ Buddies’. Arriving April 26, the song is a “celebratory toast to the folks who help take the sting out of a bad day and make the good ones even better”, according to Brice. A snippet has been posted on his Instagram. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2ptarmmx

SHOOTING THE BULL

NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “Civil War” (R, Action/Drama): A journey across a dystopian future America, following a team of military-embedded journalists as they race to reach DC before rebel factions descend upon the White House. (Jesse Plemons, Kirsten Dunst, Nick Offerman) Tomatometer: 89%
• “Sting” (R, Horror/Thriller): After raising an unnervingly talented spider in secret, 12-year-old Charlotte must fight for her family’s survival when the once-charming creature transforms into a giant, flesh-eating monster. (Penelope Mitchell, Alyla Browne, Ryan Corr) Tomatometer: 73%
• “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” (R, Comedy): Tanya finds her summer plans canceled when her mom jets off for a last-minute retreat — and the elderly babysitter who arrives at her door unexpectedly passes away. (June Squibb, Simone Joy Jones, Iantha Richardson) Tomatometer: 63%

CAT NAPS VS. DOG TIRED:
There’s nothing nicer than drifting off to sleep with a purring cat nestled against your feet, right? Well, yes. But sleeping with the dog? Bad idea. According to research published in Scientific Reports, sleeping with your dog in the same room could negatively affect your sleep quality. Scientists asked more than 1,500 people to complete questionnaires assessing their sleep habits. Overall, about half of the participants reported sleeping in the same room with a pet for at least part of the night. Results showed that those who co-slept with pets had poorer sleep quality and more insomnia symptoms than those who did not. But when they drilled down deeper into the results, they found that “evidence for a negative effect on sleep when co-sleeping with dogs — but NO evidence for a negative effect on sleep when co-sleeping with cats.”
(Believe me: If you had a puppy like ours, you’d know that you’re going to sleep A LOT better when it’s where you can keep an eye on it!)
(This study brought to you by: The International Organization of Cats Who Have Figured Out How to Fill Out Online Surveys!)
-StudyFinds

SLANG WORDS THAT GEN Z IS USING NOW:
It’s hard to keep up, but these are the “hip” words used these days by those born between 1997-2012…
☞ “For the plot” – If you’re told to do something “for the plot,” it means to do it for the experience. (Yolo, right? See what I did there?)
☞ “Rizz” – Still popular from last year, it, of course means “charisma”.
☞ “Ick” – An ick is a turnoff. Coined by a “Love Island” contestant, of all things.
☞ “Rent-free” — If someone lives “rent-free” in your mind, you think about them a lot. (Ah. Like that mechanic that ripped me off…!)
☞ “Mother” – A popular term of endearment for female celebrities that originated in LGBTQ+ communities.
☞ “Ate” — If a person “ate,” they executed something flawlessly, often associated with fashion and beauty (and J-Lo!)
☞ “Left no crumbs” – This is a continuation of “ate” that’s used as additional emphasis. (Ah. So, Beyoncé!)
☞ “Bussin'” or “buss” — means it’s very good, often used to describe food.
☞ “Mid” – That’s when something falls short of expectations.
☞ “Lock in” – Another way of saying “focus”. You can “lock in” on an assignment, cleaning your apartment, or even a video game.
☞ “Let him cook” — means don’t stop him from doing his thing.
☞ “Sus” – Short for suspicious. (Just as I “sus”…pected!)
☞ “Delulu” – Short for “delusional”. Gen Z loves abbreviations. (Or “abvs” for short…)
(Why do I feel like I have no idea what the hell’s going on anymore…)
-BusinessInsider

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ An art gallery employee in Germany was fired after it was discovered he had hung his own work in an exhibition. The 51-year-old man had drilled holes in a wall to mount his painting in Munich’s Pinakothek der Moderne. A spokesperson for the gallery said the employee worked in gallery’s technical services team and described himself as a freelance artist. His artwork measured 23in by 47in (60 by 120 cm) and was hung in an empty passageway. (Artists are suggesting the same punishment for him!)
➢ Police in Scotland say a reported armed man at a train station turned out to be a “Star Wars” cosplayer on his way to a comic book convention. The man was dressed in his Imperial Stormtrooper costume “with a Scottish twist” — a kilt — when he boarded a train at the Aberdeen station. The train returned to the station shortly afterward, and the man was approached by a guard who escorted him to waiting police. That’s when he learned that he had been reported for carrying a “firearm” on the train, and he explained to cops that his “blaster” was a plastic prop. Police took him to his home so he could get a bag for the blaster, so he wouldn’t alarm train passengers again. And he was asked not to wear his Stormtrooper armor on the train. (Truly an asset to the Empire!)
-BBC, UPI

DID YOU KNOW?
The “intimacy ban” that had been in place for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics has been lifted for the 2024 Paris Olympics, and the Olympic village, where the athletes stay, will be stocked with 300,000 condoms. That’s right. 300,000 condoms for 14,250 athletes…who will be there for 17 days, tops. You do the math. (And remember: One condom is generally shared by 2 participants!)
-SkyNews

BS CHRONOMETER 04.12.24

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day”. Almost anyone can make one, but almost everyone does it a bit differently. What’s your secret trick? (Are they missing a huge opportunity by not pairing this with “Tomato Soup Day”?)
• “Only Child Day”, for those among us who are fortunate enough to have never experienced an atomic wedgie from a sibling. (I’m an only child. And by that, I mean all my siblings are adults!)
• “Licorice Day”. The best kind? We say ‘zout’ (salt) from The Netherlands. A UK study says licorice is good for dental health. (It’s the anise that does it.) LINK: http://www.licoriceinternational.com
• “Walk on Your Wild Side Day”, a day to do something unpredictable. Go to work dressed like a gorilla, get a Master’s degree, something ‘they’ said you’d never do. (Or maybe actually work right up until quitting time?)
• “Drop Everything and Read Day”, to remind and encourage families to make reading together on a daily basis a priority. It’s celebrated on Beverly Cleary’s birthday, the author of “Ramona Quimby, Age 8”.
• “Day of Silence”, a “student-led national event where people take a vow of silence to highlight the silencing and erasure of LGBTQ people at school.” LINK: https://www.glsen.org/dayofnosilence
• “Wear a Star Day”, Created by The [R] Project, a non-profit group that helps give hope to parents and families that have experienced the loss of a child. Today, wear a star to memorialize the “little stars in heaven.”

SATURDAY-
• “Scrabble Day”, honoring one of the world’s most popular games, on the anniversary of the 1899 birth of its inventor, Alfred Butts, a jobless architect who came up with the idea during the Great Depression of the 1930s. A few facts …
– Among the proposed names for early versions were ‘Lexiko’ and ‘Criss Cross Words’.
– After Scrabble was trademarked in 1948, it was manufactured by friends and family, who painstakingly stamped letters on wooden tiles one at a time. Rate of production: 12 games an hour.
– The game was just a fad with Butts’ friends until a Macy’s exec saw it being played at a resort in 1952 and the then-world’s largest department store soon began carrying it.
• “National Peach Cobbler Day”. A cobbler is a deep-dish fruit pie covered with a thick crust made from biscuit dough. (You had me at deep-dish. And at thick crust. And at biscuit dough.)
• “International Plant Appreciation Day”. Today, you’re asked to consider giving live, potted plants as a gift, rather than cut flowers. You might also grow your own fruits & veggies to give away, or share seeds, plants or clippings from your garden. Show yourself, and others how important plants are. (After all, imagine a world without the trees that give us toilet paper!)
• “Thomas Jefferson Day”, honoring the birth of the third President of The United States, born on this date in 1743. Best-known as the primary author of the Declaration of Independence, Jefferson was a stalwart of democracy.
• “Make Lunch Count Day”, Created by TGI Fridays in 2016, this aims to take the ‘boring’ out of lunch and get people away from their work and to restaurants for their midday meal. (Never take lunch for granted…but you can take it to go!)

SUNDAY-
• “Ex-Spouse Day”, a day of recognition of your ex as someone who, at least at one point in your life, was a very important person. (Celebrating the end of an error?)
• “International Moment of Laughter Day”, a day to take the time to experience the power of laughter. Ha! (My work here is done…)
• “Good Deeds Day”. You know what to do. I’ll leave it with you… LINK: https://www.good-deeds-day.org/
• “Dolphin Day”, established in the 1990s to focus on the worldwide plight of dolphins. (It definitely serves a porpoise. Sorry.)
• “Pathologists Assistant Day”, a celebration of those who assist distinct but inter-related medical specialties, which diagnose disease through the analysis of tissue, cell, and body fluid samples. (Hey, when’s lunch?) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5n8hxzzm
• “National Pecan Day”. Is it pee-CAHN or PEE-can?? This is the national observation in the US. “Pecan Day” was held on March 25th for the rest of the world. (But when it comes to pecan pie, we’re willing to celebrate more than once!)
• “Pan American Day”, celebrated annually as a symbol of the American continental community. The date marks the 1890 founding of the organization representing the countries of North, Central, and South America.

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [78] Ed O’Neill, Youngstown OH, TV actor (‘Jay Pritchett’ on “Modern Family” 2009-20, “Married With Children” 1987-97)/movie actor (“Wayne’s World” movies, “Finding Dory [voice]”)

1947 [77] David Letterman, Indianapolis IN, TV host (“Late Show with David Letterman” 1993-2015, “Late Night with David Letterman” 1982-93)/“My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman” since 2018/TV producer (Worldwide Pants)

1956 [68] Andy Garcia (Andrés Arturo García Menéndez), Havana Cuba, movie actor (“Ocean’s Eleven” movies, “The Untouchables”) COMING UP… “What About Love” 2024

1957 [67] Vince Gill, Norman OK, country singer (Grammys-‘When Love Finds You’, ‘I Still Believe in You’)/touring member of the Eagles since 2017/married to Amy Grant since 2000

1960 [64] Ron MacLean, Zweibrucken Germany, TV host (“Hockey Night in Canada” since 1986, except for those regrettable 2 years…, “Coach’s Corner with Don Cherry” 1986-2019)

1971 [53] Shannon Doherty, Memphis TN, TV actress (“Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-1994, “BH90210”, 2019, “Charmed” 1998-2001)/movie actress (“Heathers”) COMING UP… “How to Make a Deal with the Devil”

1979 [45] Claire Danes, NYC, TV actress (“Homeland” 2011-20)/movie actress (“Romeo + Juliet”, “The Hours”)/married to Hugh Dancy since 2009

1979 [45] Jennifer Morrison, Chicago IL, TV actress (“House M.D.” 2004-12, “Once Upon a Time” 2011-18)/movie director (“Sun Dogs”)

1987 [37] Brendon Urie, St. George UT, pop singer-songwriter (Panic! at the Disco-‘I Write Sins Not Tragedies’, Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie-‘Me!’)

1994 [30] Saoirse (pron: SIR’-sha) Ronan, New York City NY, movie actress (“Lady Bird”, “Little Women”) COMING UP…“Blitz”

SATURDAY- [Reverend] Al Green (‘Let’s Stay Together’) is 78; Ron Perlman (“Sons of Anarchy”) is 74; Max Weinberg (Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band) is 73; Peabo Bryson (w/Regina Belle-‘A Whole New World’) is 73; Caroline Rhea (“Sabrina the Teenage Witch”) is 60; Ricky Schroder (“NYPD Blue”) is 54; Aaron Lewis (Staind) is 52; Lou Bega (‘Mambo No. 5’) is 49; Allison Williams (“Get Out”) is 36

SUNDAY- Pete Rose (MLB player/manager) is 83; Ritchie Blackmore (Deep Purple) is 79; Peter Capaldi (“Dr. Who”) is 65; Brad Garrett (“Everybody Loves Raymond”) is 64; Robert Carlyle (“The Full Monty”) is 63; Anthony Michael Hall (“Sixteen Candles”) is 56; Adrien Brody (“The Pianist”) is 51; Sarah Michelle Gellar (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) is 47; Win Butler (Arcade Fire) is 44; Abigail Breslin (“Little Miss Sunshine”) is 28

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1992 [32] Lisa Bonet files for divorce from Lenny Kravitz after 4½ years of marriage

2022 [02] Stand-up comedian, and ‘The Aflac Duck’ voice actor Gilbert Gottfried dies at 67

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1988 [36] Sonny Bono (of Sonny & Cher) is elected mayor in his hometown of Palm Springs, California. He holds the position until 1992, and in 1994 is elected to Congress

1989 [35] Garth Brooks releases his self-titled debut album, featuring the #1 hits ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’ and ‘The Dance’

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1961 [63] The Soviet Union successfully launches the first man into space. Yuri Gagarin, a 27-year-old air force major, orbits the Earth in 1 hr 40 minutes

1980 [44] Terry Fox begins his “Marathon of Hope” for cancer research at Cape Spear near St. John’s, Newfoundland

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2008 [16] With her latest single, ‘4 Minutes’, Madonna tops Elvis Presley for the most all-time top 10 hits on “Billboard” charts (37) [She now has 38 – but Drake has 77]

2015 [09] Jordan Spieth wins The Masters, tying Tiger Woods’ record-setting 72-hole score of 18 under par 270 (1997). Current record: 20 under 268, by Dustin Johnson in 2020

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The original thought behind having bridesmaids was to confuse evil spirits so they couldn’t guess who the actual bride was.
✓ Only two mammals like spicy food: humans and the tree shrew.
✓ When taking a warm shower, people experience increased dopamine flow, which leads to more creativity.
✓ The brain is our fattest organ, composed of nearly 60% fat.
✓ Some people never develop fingerprints.
✓ Before 1834, ketchup was made with a mix of fish and mushrooms.
-WhattheFFacts, RandomFactGenerator

Best of BS . . .
BS DUMB ACCOUNTANT TAX TIPS:
• Hire yourself as an employee, fire yourself, sue yourself for discrimination, deduct court costs.
• Report $1 billion income so the tax people think you’re some sort of big shot.
• Answer every question: “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
• Hide all your money in a mattress, but on your tax return, write “No money hidden in mattress.”
• If you’ve just eaten, don’t do taxes for at least a half-hour.
• For ‘Charitable Contributions,’ list the $28 you spent on the last Nicolas Cage movie.
• To distract the auditor, attach a photo of yourself naked.
• Round every figure off to ‘umpteen’.
• Check off the box for ‘Joint Filing’, then light one up.
-First published in BS in 2013

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ The Masters wraps up this weekend. (Last year’s winner Jon Rahm got a green jacket and $3.24 million. But more importantly, he also got a 3-second peek at Tiger Woods’ little black book…!)
➠ A survey says that 71% of kids between the ages of 2-10 hate vegetables. (As do 100% of adults at Golden Corral…)
➠ Coachella Music Festival kicks off this weekend. (Coachella only lasts 2 weekends. Just like a Johnny Depp movie…)
➠ According to Match-dot-com, half of women research a man before they go on a date. (In a completely related story, I haven’t had a date in months…)
➠ A post office carrier in Texas turned in $10,000 she found while on her route. (Thank God people like that exist . . . to cancel out…uh…jerks like me!)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Handy tip for the weekend:  https://tinyurl.com/3t5azh5z

BS RANDOM JOKE:
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the worst possible thing you could say when you get pulled over?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
20% of at-home workers do THIS during their work day. What is it?
Answer:  Play video games

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s Friday. Make sure that today is so awesome that yesterday gets jealous.