Friday, April 24, 2020 Edition: #6683
Deja Moo!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Since the release of “Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness”, those featured in the docuseries are experiencing overnight fame. While Joe “Exotic” is reportedly loving his newfound fame from inside prison, others, like Doc Antle, are seeing the downside of being in the public eye. The zoo owner says he’s now sleeping with an AK-47 after death threats started rolling in. Antle says he’s receiving up to 50 threats a day and fears that activists will kill him.
-PopCulture
★ Laura Dern is celebrated for playing self-destructive and high-strung characters on shows like “Enlightened” and “Big Little Lies” — but in real life, the Oscar winner is all about finding her inner peace. She’s the latest major talent to contribute to “Calm”, following people like Matthew McConaughey and singer Leona Lewis. The app offers around 120 bedtime stories, to assist users in falling asleep. The story read by Dern is titled “The Ocean Moon” and was written by Chris Advansun.
-MSN
★ Jimmy Kimmel’s son Billy turned three years old on Tuesday, and his favorite thing in the world is Spider-Man. So, Kimmel surprised him by having the real Spider-Man, Tom Holland, dress up in character and say hello over Zoom. Holland donned a red mask and hoodie with the Spider-Man logo and whipped off his mask in perfect Peter Parker fashion, and he even used his American accent to give young Billy a real show.
-TheWrap
★ Shirley Knight, the Kansas-born actress who was nominated for two Oscars early in her career and went on to play an astonishing variety of roles in movies, TV and the stage, has died at 83. Knight’s career carried her from Kansas to Hollywood and then to the New York theatre and London and back to Hollywood. She was nominated for two Tonys, winning one. In recent years, she had a recurring role as ‘Phyllis Van de Kamp’ (the mother-in-law of Marcia Cross’ character) in the long-running show “Desperate Housewives,” where she received one of her many Emmy nominations.
-CP
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jonas Brothers, Lester Holt, Chvrches
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Andy Samberg, Ilan Rubin (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Martin Freeman, Pete Holmes, Bad Bunny (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Mike Shouhed, Golnesa Gharachedaghi
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Ellen Pompeo, Dr. Jake Deutsch, Dr. Elvis Francois, Dr. William Robinson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Adam Rodriguez, Christina Anstead
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Mark Consuelos, Skylar Astin, Andy Grammer
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Reese Witherspoon, Dixie Chicks (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): A new Message from Montana, repeat segments with Adam Devine, Amy Brenneman (R)
• “2020 NFL Draft” (ABC): Rounds 2 and 3
SATURDAY-
• “Bad Education” (HBO): Premiere. A Long Island school superintendent and his assistant are credited with bringing the district unprecedented prestige. That changes when a student reporter uncovers an embezzlement scheme, prompting Frank to devise an elaborate cover-up.
• “Dying for Motherhood” (LIFETIME): A pregnant woman finds herself in grave danger when she agrees to live with the couple who plan to adopt her unborn child.
SUNDAY-
• “Stronger Together, Tous Ensemble” (Multiple Networks and platforms): Benefiting Food Banks Canada to support local food banks as they face the drastic impacts of COVID-19. Appearances by Alessia Cara, Bryan Adams, Celine Dion, Shania Twain and many more.
• “God Friended Me” (CBS): Season 2 finale
• “Penny Dreadful: City of Angels” (SHOWCASE): Series premiere. LAPD Detectives Tiago Vega and Lewis Michener investigate a murder; Tiago’s brother, Raul, battles Councilman Charlton Townsend over California’s first freeway.
• “Homeland” (SHOWTIME): Season 8 finale
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Post Malone — Instead of his own songs, he will perform Nirvana covers in his first livestream concert today. The Nirvana tribute livestream starts at 6 p.m. ET on Malone’s YouTube channel, and will benefit coronavirus relief charities.
• Nick Jonas – during these stressful times, he wants to help folks drift off to sleep, and he is doing so with his bedtime story, “The Perfect Swing”, available now as part of a new series of Audible Originals (Amazon audiobooks).
• Avril Lavigne – Her new charity single ‘We Are Warriors’ comes out today. Proceeds go to Project Hope, which aims to help medical staff around the world.
• The Killers – Their song ‘Caution’ is their first #1 on Billboard’s Alternative Songs airplay chart since ‘When You Were Young’ 13 years and 6 months ago. That sets a record for longest time between Alternative #1s, previously held by Beck, who waited 12 years, eight months and two weeks between ‘E-Pro’ (2005) and ‘Up All Night’ (2017).
• Sammy Hagar – In an interview, legendary music producer Ted Templeman (Van Halen, Doobie Brothers, Van Morrison) says that Hagar is “the best rock singer on the planet”. Another quote: “To me, he’s a combination of Robert Plant and James Brown. That guy can sing like nobody. I’m telling you, nobody. He doesn’t know how good he is, even.”
• Gord Bamford – will appear tonight on the final installment of “Canada Together: In Concert”, along with Jess Moskaluke, and Jade Eagleson. The 5-night series of at-home concerts on ET Canada support Covid-19 relief efforts by Food Banks Canada and Unison Benevolent Fund.
• Luke Bryan — is one of several musicians set to appear during NFL Draft weekend this weekend. His performance of ‘Play It Again’ will air on Saturday. The 2020 NFL Draft continues through the weekend. Also scheduled: Jennifer Hudson, Kelly Clarkson and H.E.R.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
***Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and the fact that most theatres are closed, all major movie releases have been put on hold. This feature will return to The Bull Sheet when major movie releases resume.***
FACE VALUE:
Lockdown conditions during the coronavirus pandemic have made video conferencing a primary mode of communication between friends, family and co-workers, and apparently, many of us don’t like what we see when we look at ourselves onscreen. Plastic surgeons say that they are receiving an influx of appointments and consultations for cosmetic procedures. Dr. Norman Rowe, a NYC plastic surgeon, says that communicating via screens has resulted in many “looking at themselves critically” and finding that they “don’t look as good as they thought they did.” He also points out that these days, people have a need to feel better about something, and arranging an appearance-enhancing procedure is one thing that they can do. But how is that done during the current pandemic? Cosmetic surgeons can now create a digital depiction of your desired post-op result in online consultations.
(Or do what I did – and dig out your old “ultra-low-def” webcam from the 1990s!)
(It’ll be good to see a bunch of new faces when we all get back to work!)
(Years ago, you just didn’t mention this kind of procedure. Now, the subject of Botox comes up, and nobody raises an eyebrow!)
-NYPost
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ We’re sure this is the #1 pandemic-related question on everyone’s mind (Everyone with the mind of an 11-year-old boy, that is…). Two Australian doctors recently spoke up on the topic of whether COVID-19 can be spread through passing gas. On the “Coronacast” podcast, host Dr. Norman Swan pointed out that, fortunately, we are usually wearing a ‘mask’ of sorts – in the form of pants, dresses and underwear – which could protect others from the spread of COVID-19, if you happen to be passing more than gas. Emergency physician Dr. Andy Tagg gave his opinion via Twitter, affirming that flatulence is an “aerosol-generating procedure”, and pointed out that a recent study suggested that even a post-flush toilet plume could spread the coronavirus via “aerosolized feces.” (I’m afraid the answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind…)
➢ A 30-year-old woman has an unlikely hero to thank in saving her life from a gunshot: her silicone breasts. The Ontario, Canada woman was walking down a street when she started “feeling heat and pain” in her left chest. When she looked down, she saw blood and promptly took herself to the emergency room. Doctors determined that she had been shot in the chest at close-range, but the bullet was likely deflected away from her heart by her silicone breast implant. She made a complete recovery. (Keep your ‘booby-trap’ jokes to yourself!)
-NYPost, ScienceAlert
BEST ‘MARRIAGE’ TWEETS WE’VE SEEN THIS WEEK:
☞ If your marriage is feeling strained during this quarantine, have you tried closing your mouth when you chew? – @LizHackett
☞ I spent about 20 minutes searching our entire house and yard for my husband and it turned out he had snuck into the backseat of the car to take a nap, if anyone’s looking for quarantine hacks. – @copymama
☞ Never underestimate how many times your husband can do the exact same thing wrong. – @sixfootcandy
☞ Intercepting packages between my husband & Amazon has been my quarantine cardio. – @sarcasticmommy4
☞ I can’t wait until this quarantine is over so I can argue with my husband in public again. – @sixfootcandy
☞ My wife is using this opportunity to home school me. – @KentWGraham
DID YOU KNOW?
You can boost your brainpower by gardening. Studies show there’s a certain type of bacteria in soil that we breathe in, which seeps in through our skin – and it makes us calmer and better thinkers. The bacteria stimulate the growth of brain neurons, and boosts production of the brain chemical serotonin, which reduces anxiety.
-EdmontonJournal
BS CHRONOMETER 04.24.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [78] Barbra Streisand, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (1969 Oscar-“Funny Girl”)/film director (“The Prince of Tides”)/pop singer (‘The Way We Were’)
1952 [68] Jean-Paul Gaultier, Arcueil France, haute couture fashion designer (Jean Paul Gaultier, Hermès)
1964 [56] Cedric the Entertainer (Cedric Antonio Kyles), Jefferson City MO, movie actor (“Barbershop”, “A Series of Unfortunate Events”)/comedian/game show host (“Who Wants to be a Millionaire” 2013-14)
1973 [47] Brian Marshall, Fort Walton Beach FL, rock bassist (Creed-‘With Arms Wide Open’; Alter Bridge-‘Open Your Eyes’)
1982 [38] Kelly Clarkson, Fort Worth TX, pop singer (‘Stronger’, ‘Since U Been Gone’)/original “American Idol” winner (2002)/TV personality (“The Kelly Clarkson Show”, since 2019) Judge on “The Voice” 2018-19)
1984 [36] Tyson Ritter, Stillwater OK, alt-rock singer-bassist (All American Rejects-‘Gives You Hell’)
1992 [28] Joe Keery, Newburyport MA, TV actor (“Steve” on “Stranger Things” since 2016)
SATURDAY- Al Pacino (“Scarface”) is 80; Len Goodman (“Dancing with the Stars”) is 76; Hank Azaria (“The Simpsons”) is 56; Sportscaster Joe Buck is 51; Renée Zellweger (“Bridget Jones’s Diary”) is 51; Jason Lee (“My Name is Earl”) is 50
SUNDAY- Carol Burnett (“The Carol Burnett Show”) is 87; Giancarlo Esposito (“Breaking Bad”) is 62; Jet Li (“The Expendables”) is 57; Kevin James (“The King of Queens”) is 55; First Lady of the United States Melania Trump is 50; Jay DeMarcus (Rascal Flatts) is 49; Channing Tatum (“Magic Mike”) is 40; Jordana Brewster (“Fast & Furious”) is 40
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Pigs in a Blanket Day”, celebrating the breakfast taste-treat of sausage wrapped in a pancake.
• “New Kids on The Block Day”, yup, the singing group. Some refer to NKOTB as the original boy band that set examples for its successors. And by examples, I mean dance moves.
• “World Meningitis Day”, for people to raise their voices against meningitis, through telling patient stories, raising awareness of the signs and symptoms of the disease, and increasing knowledge of available vaccines. Over 1 million people are affected each year.
• “Guide Dog Day”, celebrating the importance of guide dogs and how they help the blind and visually impaired live their daily lives. Stats show 70% of guide dogs are Labrador Retrievers, 15% Golden Retrievers, and 15% German Shepherds. It takes them 2 years to complete training. BS FUN FACT: Standard Poodles are sometimes used as guide dogs in homes where someone is allergic to dog hair.
SATURDAY-
• “Anzac Day”, a public holiday and national day of remembrance in Australia and New Zealand commemorating Australians and New Zealanders “who served and died in all wars, conflicts, and peacekeeping operations” and “the contribution and suffering of all those who have served”.
• “Plumbers Day”, OK, let’s all do the plumbers’ salute … drop your pants 2 inches!
• “DNA Day”, celebrating the discovery and understanding of DNA and the scientific advances that understanding has made possible. (Which I don’t understand at all…)
• “Red Hat Day”, an annual celebration of the ‘Red Hat Society’, begun in 1997 as a social organization for women over 50 and to reshape the way they’re viewed. There are now millions of mature women who attend various ‘RHS’ events worldwide.
NET: http://www.redhatsociety.com
• “Telephone Day”, call someone and wish them “Happy Telephone Day”. They’ll probably hang up on you.
• “Hairstylist Appreciation Day”, be nice to your hairstylist because there’s nothing stopping her/him from plucking one of your hairs and putting it at a crime scene!
• “Mani-Pedi Day”, an annual celebration of clip joints.
• “World Penguin Day”, marking the annual northward migration of penguins which happens each year on or around this day. Penguins do not fly. They walk. More of a waddle, actually. (Go, Sidney Crosby, go!)
• “Crayola Day”, there are over one hundred different types of crayons made by Crayola, including some that sparkle with glitter, glow in the dark, smell like flowers, change colors, and wash off walls.
SUNDAY-
• “Audubon Day”, saluting John James Audubon, born on this day in 1785. He is best known for his wonderful bird portraits. What is often forgotten is that he painted them using stuffed models, captured in the wild.
• “Kids & Pets Day”, a celebration of the magical connection between children and animals.
• “Pretzel Day”, honoring the world’s oldest snack food. They were made as early as 610 A.D. by monks in France & Italy using dough scraps formed to represent a child’s arms folded in prayer.
• “Richter Scale Day”, celebrates the birth of the inventor of the Richter Scale, Charles F. Richter, in 1900. He invented the Richter Scale in 1935. It calculates the amount of energy released by an earthquake by measuring its magnitude or seismic waves. The Richter Scale measures from 0 to 9. (9 being a moody teenager stomping to their bedroom)
• “Hug an Australian Day”, to show our appreciation for all the friendliness and support Aussies have given us over the years.
• “Get Organized Day”, Do you find yourself lost in an absolute sea of clutter? Is your filing cabinet more of a three-story garbage can? Does your desk require an archaeological team to find? Then get organized today! (We may need a month…)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ:
1992 [28] Rock star David Bowie weds supermodel Iman in Switzerland
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [14] Billy Joel becomes the first non-athlete to earn a banner at Madison Square Garden when he sells out the venue for the 12th time. His #12 hangs alongside retired greats who played in the Garden such as Willis Reed, Walt Frazier and Mark Messier.
2007 [13] US president George W Bush is denied a luxury suite at the Imperial Hotel in Vienna, Austria when Mick Jagger, in town with a Rolling Stones tour, books it first
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2005 [15] ‘Snuppy’, the world’s first cloned dog, is born in South Korea (and is soon leaving his own genetic information all over the place)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ In a typical year, 14,030 “answers are questioned” on “Jeopardy”.
✓ The most-frequently landed-on squares in Monopoly: Illinois Ave., Go and B&O Railroad.
✓ The hottest peppers on Earth are Carolina Reapers. The sweetest: Bells.
✓ The average kid eats 15 pounds of cereal per year.
✓ When he needed inspiration, Beethoven poured water on himself.
✓ James Bond, the spy, is named after James Bond, the real-life ornithologist (bird expert).
-BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS DEEP THOUGHTS FROM JOCKS:
• The trainer said I have athlete’s foot, but really, aren’t they both athlete’s feet?
• Instead of calling me a ‘jock’, why don’t they call me an athletic supporter?
• If I’m playing shortstop, and my zipper’s undone, does the infield fly rule apply?
• Seriously, what the heck is a balk?
• Does this face paint match my eyes?
• How is it even possible to give 110%?
• If I wasn’t so good at football, would my parents have paid a half million dollars to get me into this college?
• I hope we win the championship again, I have a hankering for some presidential fast food.
• What if ask someone to pull a different finger? Maybe that’ll fool them.
• Squirrel!
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ I just read that video games can help relieve pain, improve your eyesight and even help battle depression. (It also helps you maintain your virginity…)
➠ In Reading, PA, police arrested 5 people in a theft of $100,000 worth of medical marijuana from a growing facility. (They’ve been charged with one count of totally ruining Matthew McConaughey’s 4/20 celebration!)
➠ Earth Day was celebrated on Wednesday. (“And once again we get no respect,” said Wind and Fire.)
➠ Fact of the Day: 80% of people remain quiet even when they really want to say something in order to avoid an argument with someone they care about. (The other twenty percent are married to someone in my wife’s family!)
➠ Did you know that before the coronavirus, families exchanged an average of 5,800 texts and 260 emails per year to communicate? (So, if you’re reading this, why not Snapchat your kids that “you love them” for old time’s sake…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
It’s Friday! https://tinyurl.com/yceshj6t
BS RANDOM JOKE:
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the most expensive meal you’ve ever had?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average family throws away 70 of THESE edible items every year. What are they?
Answer: Loaf-end bread crusts.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Time spent getting even would be better spent getting ahead.