Wednesday, April 27, 2022 — Edition: #7218
Sheet Happens!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Princess Bride” star Cary Elwes got way more than he bargained for when a day of yard work turned into a helicopter ride to hospital after a nasty rattlesnake bite. Elwes was airlifted to Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center Saturday after he was bitten by a rattlesnake near his Malibu home. Reportedly, the injury appeared serious enough that those around him felt it was a life-threatening injury. The good news is that Elwes is expected to make a full recovery. It’s unclear where he was bitten.
-TMZ
★ Following the success of “Venom: Let There Be Carnage” and “Ghostbusters: Afterlife”, Sony announced at CinemaCon that new sequels for both franchises have been greenlit. “Venom 3” film comes after Let There Be Carnage grossed $502 million in theaters, without the help of a release in China. Ghostbusters: Afterlife had a more modest box office run but still did well, making $197 million. The upcoming sequel was described as “the next chapter in the original ‘Ghostbusters’ universe,” after a post-credits scene in “Afterlife” in which original Ghostbuster ‘Winston Zeddermore’, played by Ernie Hudson, teased a possible reunion with his teammates.
-TheWrap
★ Trevor Noah can start writing his jokes now. Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson will be back in Washington this weekend for the 2022 White House Correspondents’ dinner. Fresh from watching Jon Stewart accept the award for lifetime achievement in humor at the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor show Sunday night, the lovebirds will be back in the US capital to see dinner host Noah roast President Biden. Kardashian and Davidson will be sitting at the Disney/ABC table, as the Kardashians’ new reality show is on Hulu (which is owned by Disney).
-PageSix
★ Jon Stewart used his speech as this year’s winner of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to poke fun at the idea that his art form is under threat, saying: “Comedy survives every moment.” Stewart, speaking at the first iteration of the ceremony in more than 2 years, added: “Comedy doesn’t change the world, but it’s a bellwether…When society is under threat, comedians are the ones who get sent away first.” The ceremony saw contributions and roasts from friends, supporters and collaborators, including Dave Chappelle, Jimmy Kimmel, Steve Carell and Olivia Munn.
-TheDailyBeast
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Miles Teller, Rhea Seehorn, the B-52s
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): David Spade, Quinta Brunson, Chef Daniel Humm, Lucky Daye
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Julia Roberts, Wilco (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Paul Bettany, Kiernan Shipka, Fontaines D.C., Fred Eltringham
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Pete Yorn
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Jenna Dewan
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Magic Johnson, guest co-host Amber Ruffin
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Elizabeth Moss, Dr. Michael Brues
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Rob Lowe, Portugal. The Man
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Tom Selleck, Monét X Change, Shea Couleé, Raja Gemini, Yvie Oddly, Michelle Zauner, Japanese Breakfast
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Natasha Lyonne, Antoni Porowski
• “Survivor”(CBS): One castaway is the last standing in the fight for immunity and earns a spot in the final eight.
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): The 4 remaining singers from round 3 compete; one singer is unmasked and the others move on to the finals.
• “The Survivor” (HBO): After being sent to Auschwitz, Haft is forced to participate in a gladiatorial boxing spectacle along with his fellow prisoners.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga — has reportedly recorded a song for the “Top Gun: Maverick” soundtrack. ‘Hold My Hand’, described as an “epic” anthem, will be released next month, and insiders are already tipping it for a possible Best Original Song Oscar at the 2023 Academy Awards.
• The Kid Laroi – brought his surprise show at LA’s Lodge Room to a screeching halt on Sunday, when security tackled 2 fans who jumped onto the stage. After stopping the show to make sure the fans were OK, he even found their shades on stage and returned them.
• Britney Spears – is taking a break from social media. Weeks after telling the world she is pregnant with her third child, she revealed on Instagram that she’ll be stepping back “for a little while.” While she has kept her 40.9 million Instagram followers regularly updated, she hasn’t tweeted since January.
• Sheryl Crow – has released the new song ‘Forever’, which will appear on the soundtrack album for the upcoming documentary of her life. “Sheryl” debuts May 6 on Showtime. LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxNL1i1rGHY
• Staind — has announced a headline tour for this September. The 12-date run will kick off Sept. 8 in Niagara Falls NY, and conclude on Sept. 24 in Shawnee OK. Tickets go on sale this Friday.
• Maddie & Tae — are finally hitting the road for their headlining “CMT Next Women of Country Tour Presents: All Song No Static”. Beginning Sept. 15 in Oklahoma City, it was originally scheduled for early 2022, but was postponed when Taylor Kerr was hospitalized, and needed to remain there for the duration of her pregnancy. On Twitter, the duo wrote: “We’ve been waiting so long to say this.”
• Tyler Childers and Senora May – are expecting their first child together. May shared the news from the stage at the Mountain Mushroom Festival in Irvine KY on Sat., introducing Childers by saying: “I’ll let my baby daddy come up here and finish my set.” They’ve been married since 2015.
• Jake Owen — has announced his headlining “Up There Down Here Tour”. The 30-date tour kicks off May 5 in Troy OH, and continues through the beginning of October. The trek takes its name from his newest song ‘Up There Down Here’, which he put out in March.
SHOOTING THE BULL
DIE, DIETS!
These days, many dieticians are telling us to do what perhaps you’ve always them to tell us: “Stop dieting.” These anti-diet dieticians (many of whom are getting the word out via TikTok, using dances, trends and science-backed info to reach younger people) are trying to steer people away from what they call “diet culture,” which prioritizes smaller sizes over health, and drastic restriction over lifestyle changes. Where professionals once may have stressed maximizing “good” foods and cutting out the “bad,” these social-media-friendly experts are preaching the maximizing of balanced, sustainable changes and ending food-based shame. Sam Previte, a registered dietician and founder of Find Food Freedom says: “If we are experiencing guilt and shame with food, we could have the most nutrient-dense meal plan in the world, and it’s not going to be beneficial because of … the psychological effects of dieting and restricting.
LINKS: https://www.tiktok.com/@findfoodfreedom?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@nutritionalsarah?lang=en
(They had me until they said “lifestyle changes”!)
(I’m gonna go out on a limb here, and say it’s safe to assume that these guys don’t Photoshop their social media pics?)
-CNN
SCIENTISTS SAY:
➢ Your usual walking speed is linked to the rate at which you’ll age, according to researchers at the University of Leicester. In an analysis of over 400,000 adults, they determined that a faster walking pace throughout life could lead to a person being 16 years younger in terms of biological age by the time they reach midlife. The team found that, specifically, brisk walking while alone is associated with a longer life. (Especially if you have a neighbor with pet lions…)
➢ Swinging your arms while running does nothing for your speed, according to a new study. While it is commonly believed that arm swinging propels a runner forward and acts as a counterbalance to the momentum of the legs, researchers from Southern Methodist University found that athletes who ran with their arms closed across their chests ran nearly as fast as when running with their normal arm motion. (The study was carried out on a group of volunteers from the British Olympic track team . . . and the Monty Python fan club!)
-StudyFinds
TACO CHANCE ON ME:
A Texas food delivery company is looking for someone with a unique set of skills. The skill? A voracious appetite for tacos. Favor is taking applications now for its “Chief Taco Officer” position. The winning candidate will drive across Texas, staying in cities 2 days and eating tacos delivered by Favor for at least 2 meals while there (which means you can have tacos for breakfast and dinner). The CTO will be paid $10,000 in exchange for taste-testing Texas tacos, and documenting the experience on social media during June and July. The winning candidate will receive free food, accommodation, and transportation along their journey, plus free delivery from the company for a year. Interested eaters should create a video application and submit it on Favor’s website by May 12.
(Two tacos in every city? This would be PERFECT for my teenager! He’s trying to cut down…)
(I can’t tell you how many times in college I PAID to eat tacos for breakfast and dinner!)
(Please don’t groan when I say it, but I’ve got to ask: Is gas included?)
-CNN
GRASS-CUTTING GUIDE:
How to properly mow your lawn for best results…brought to you by my dad…
☞ Set your mower high: Only cut the top ⅓ of the blades. Longer grass can grow and support more roots, and develop a deeper root system. It’s also softer to walk on.
☞ Mow a dry lawn: Wet grass can clog your mower and result in an uneven trim. The best time to mow is early evening, if it hasn’t rained. Then, it’s not so hot that it stresses the lawn, and it will have time to recover before the next day’s heat.
☞ Vary your mowing pattern: Go in a different direction each time. This helps avoid making ruts in the lawn, and grass will stand up nice and tall since it will be mowed from all different directions.
☞ Don’t mow on a schedule: Mow as often as needed, but sticking to a schedule (like every Sat. morning) doesn’t take into account that grass grows rapidly in spring, and very slowly in the heat of summer.
☞ Leave clippings on the lawn: They break down quickly and return beneficial nutrients to the soil. Mow often enough that clippings are small. (I LOVED this tip until that last part…)
☞ Keep your mower blade sharp: Dull blades tear up grass, causing ragged, brown edges. Over time, it can cause your grass to weaken, making it more susceptible to disease, insect damage, and other stresses like heat and drought. An annual mower tune-up and sharpening should do it.
(One more: Don’t wear flip-flops – speaking of grass-cutting “tips”!)
-Scotts
DID YOU KNOW?
China is using an army of geese to defend its border. On China’s boundary with Vietnam, a gaggle of about 500 geese stand guard, ready to honk at or bite anyone who tries to enter illegally. Since October, the Chinese government has deployed the gaggle of geese spanning 300 miles in an effort to stop the coronavirus from entering the country via illegal immigration. Chinese domestic geese need no training; and the 5-pound birds defend their territory fiercely. Reinforcing the feathered garrison are about 400 guard dogs, which accompany border police on patrol while the birds keep stationary watch. (Plus, between the dogs and the geese, there’s no safe place to step anywhere NEAR the border!)
-NationalGeographic
BS CHRONOMETER 04.27.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Administrative Professionals Day”, recognizing the work of secretaries, receptionists, administrative assistants, and other administrative support professionals. (The REAL office boss!)
• “Prime Rib Day”, a food holiday honoring what may be the best cut of beef you can get. Only one way to celebrate … with a big, thick, juicy cut of prime rib, cooked perfectly to your liking. Don’t forget the au jus and the fully-loaded baked potato! (And never, EVER order one well-done!)
• “Tell a Story Day”, If you don’t have children to tell a story to, a friend will probably loan you theirs for a couple of hours. Gladly.
• “Babe Ruth Day”, This date in 1947, “The Bambino” returned to “The House that Ruth Built” to be honored after a legendary baseball career. (AKA: ‘The Sultan of Swat’, ‘The Behemoth of Bust’, ‘The Caliph of Clout’, ‘The Big Bam’, ‘The Babe’.)
• “Morse Code Day”, in case you want to embrace a technology that has pretty much disappeared. Developer Samuel Morse was born on this date in 1791. (Dash-dot-dot-dot … dot-dot-dash …)
• “Freedom Day”, a South African holiday celebrating the country’s first post-apartheid elections, held on this day in 1994. The African National Congress won a sweeping victory, which ushered in Nelson Mandela as the country’s first Black President.
• “Marine Mammal Rescue Day”, to celebrate the efforts of those who have made a positive impact on the lives of sea life. It’s also a day to reflect on our impact on climate change, which directly affects the health of marine mammals. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/36a5c99x
• “Denim Day”, millions of people will wear jeans with a purpose today: to support survivors, and educate themselves and others about all forms of sexual violence. (Ever since lockdown, I tend to avoid skinny jeans. They’re getting more and more difficult to ‘pull off’!)
• “Little Pampered Dog Day”, to celebrate owners who truly care for and love their dogs. It’s also to bring attention to the fact that not all dogs are so lucky.
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Blueberry Pie Day
[Thurs] Superhero Day
[Fri] Shrimp Scampi Day
[Fri] Viral Video Day
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [74] Si [Silas] Robertson, Vivian LA, TV reality show star (‘Uncle Si’ on “Duck Dynasty” 2012-17), preacher, Viet Nam War veteran/former duck call maker at Duck Commander
1948 [74] Kate Pierson, Weehawken NJ, rock singer-multi-instrumentalist (B-52s-‘Love Shack’, ‘Rock Lobster’, R.E.M.-‘Shiny Happy People’
1951 [71] [Paul] ‘Ace’ Frehley, The Bronx NY, rock guitarist-singer (‘New York Groove’, KISS-‘Rock and Roll All Nite’)
1959 [63] Sheena Easton, Bellshill Scotland, pop singer (‘For Your Eyes Only’, ‘9 to 5 [Morning Train]’)
1978 [44] Jim James [James Olliges Jr], Louisville KY, rock singer-guitarist (My Morning Jacket-‘Holdin On to Black Metal’)
1984 [38] Patrick Stump, Glenview IL, pop-rock singer-guitarist (Fall Out Boy-‘This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race’)
1986 [36] Jenna Coleman, Blackpool England, TV actress (“Dr. Who” 2012-17)
1988 [34] Lizzo [Melissa Jefferson], Detroit MI, rapper (‘Truth Hurts’, ft. Cardi B-‘Rumors’)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [08] George Clooney and Brit attorney Amal Alamuddin announce their engagement
2014 [08] “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” premieres on HBO
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2006 [16] 62-year-old Keith Richards falls from a tree while vacationing in Fiji, landing on his head and causing a hemorrhage that requires doctors to drain his skull (he eventually makes a full recovery … we think)
2018 [04] ABBA announce they have recorded new songs for the first time since 1982 (they were finally released in late 2021)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2005 [17] The ‘super jumbo’ Airbus A380 aircraft makes its debut flight from Toulouse, France
2006 [16] Construction begins on NYC’s Freedom Tower (now named One World Trade Center)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [36] Andoni Dominguez of Vizcaya, Spain sets a world record by eating 2.4 lbs of snails (a little over a kilo) in 65 seconds (When asked how he felt afterward, he replied: “Sluggish.”)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ According to studies, men change their minds 2 to 3 times more often than women.
✓ Every time you shuffle a deck of cards, you get a combination that’s probably never existed.
✓ When pitched, the average Major League baseball rotates 15 times before being hit.
✓ From a complete stop, a human is capable of outrunning a Formula One Race car for about 30 feet.
✓ Only one person in recorded history has been hit by a meteorite.
✓ Cats were once used to deliver mail in Belgium. It didn’t last.
-UberFacts, BestLife
Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU’RE SUFFERING FROM ROAD RAGE:
• State Farm refuses to insure your vehicle … because of the gun turrets.
• That throbbing vein in your forehead is big enough to honk the horn on its own.
• You keep a 7-iron in the backseat … just in case.
• You’ve developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in your middle finger.
• You’ve mounted your windshield wipers on the inside to clear the spittle.
• You swear more before you get to work than most rappers do all day.
-First published in BS in 2013
BS THINGS TO DO IN THE COUNTRY:
• Tip cows
• Discover oil, get rich, and move to Beverly Hills
• Complain that there is nothing to do
• Bury the evidence
• Eat a lot of peaches
• Ummmm…you could chill on the porch…
• Drive to the city
• Make sure you’re not an old man. There’s no country for them.
• Get Wi-Fi…immediately!
• (***Caution***) Your cousin
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018
BS THREEZER:
(Give contestant the clues, they tell you what all 3 have in common…)
• Foot, Toad, Bar
Answer: Types of stools
• Trix cereal, Playboy magazine, Energizer batteries
Answer: They all use rabbits as their mascot/logo
• A Smoker, a Gambler, a Nun
Answer: They all have habits
-TriBond
BS WEB GOODIE:
C’mon, dummy: https://tinyurl.com/2p8nb783
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most embarrassing incident you’ve ever experienced?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In a poll, nearly 30% of people admitted they do THIS every day – and they’re not ashamed to admit it. What is it?
Answer: Eat candy
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.