Monday, August 25, 2008 Edition: #3843
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!
WEEKEND BLOG BUZZ:
• 31-year-old “House Bunny” actress Anna Faris says her proudest career achievement is the ‘Stonette Of the Year’ prize she was awarded by the editors of marijuana magazine ‘High Times” in 2007. Her trophy … a working bong. (Maybe she read the movie script afterward?)
– “Time Out New York”
• How nice is 47-year-old George Clooney? He’s so nice, he rear-ended a woman in central Italy … then bought her a new car. When the female driver went to pick up her damaged Lancia from a repair garage she found a brand new model and a note of apology on the windshield saying, “I’m so sorry . Hope you’ll forgive me. George Clooney.” (As if being rear-ended by George isn’t reward enough.)
– Dose.ca
• 29-year-old actress Katie Holmes is set to star in the Broadway production of “All My Sons”, opening OCTOBER 16th, but word has it ticket sales are, so far, way off from what had been expected. A source says you can’t blame the economy because there are shows like “Mamma Mia!” that are SRO. (Can it blamed on a one-word answer beginning with capital ‘S’?)
– MSNBC Scoop
• Donald Trump doesn’t want to talk about why he’s not buying former TV personality Ed McMahon’s mansion and has canceled an appearance on Larry King’s talk show. LAST WEEK The Donald announced he’d buy the house and let 85-year-old Ed live in it for life, but now it seems someone’s outbid him on the about-to-be-foreclosed property. (King would have asked: Now where will poor Ed go? Why didn’t Trump up the ante? Was this all for publicity?)
– “LA Times”
• It was a gang date. The entire cast & crew of “The Office“ (NBC) went together to watch Rainn Wilson’s new movie “The Rocker” at a mall cinema complex. Wilson (‘Dwight Shrute’) says he felt ‘really supported’. (More so than by movie fans, according to box office.)
– E! Online
• Celeb couple David & Victoria Beckham have escaped unscathed from a car accident in France FRIDAY. The soccer star was driving to Nice Airport to catch a flight to Beijing, where he was heading to take part in the Olympics closing ceremony. But on the way, he crashed their black BMW laterally along a wall, smashing the windshield and leaving extensive damage on the passenger side, not to mention his wife severely shaken. Ever the trouper, he left a tearful Victoria to deal with the mess while he raced off to catch his plane. (As he shouted back, “Next time, don’t criticize my driving!”)
– ContactMusic.com
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Lupe Fiasco (“Superstar”) is featured.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Three 6 Mafia are on.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Beyoncé’s little sister Solange (“I Decided”) performs.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – “American Idol” David Cook is a guest.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Crosby, Stills & Nash – Graham Nash’s 1970 single “Chicago” was inspired by the 1968 Democratic Convention. The song’s lyrics have been revised for THIS YEAR’s convention, from “Won’t you please come to Chicago” to “Please come up to Denver.”
• Da Brat – The “Unrestricted rapper” (née Shawntae Harris) has been sentenced to 3 years behind bars, 7 years probation, and 200 hours of community service for bashing a woman with a rum bottle at a Halloween party in an Atlanta-area nightclub LAST YEAR.
• Gwen Stefani – The 38-year-old new mom has named her latest baby boy via rocker-hubby Gavin Rossdale ‘Zuma Nesta Rock’. ‘Zuma’ means ‘Lord Frowns in Anger’ and is also the name of a Japanese restaurant in London where the couple live; ‘Nesta’ was reggae legend Bob Marley’s middle name; and ‘Rock’ is … well, what mom & dad do for a living. (We’re guessing someday the permanently scarred kid will unleash ‘Zuma’s Revenge’.)
• Madonna – The just-turned-50-year-old kicked off her 51-date “Sticky & Sweet World Tour” in Cardiff, Wales SATURDAY in spectacular fashion, unveiling a show featuring 8 costume changes and $2-million-worth of jewelry. She opens up on a giant throne, surrounded by throngs of dancers wearing top hats. The show is split into 4 sections, punctuated with videos by Britney Spears, Kanye West, and Pharrell Williams.
• Miley Cyrus – The “Hannah Montana” star will shut down California’s Disneyland OCTOBER 5th and invite fans to “Miley’s Sweet 16 – Share the Celebration” birthday bash … in return for a $250 charity donation. Tickets go on sale this coming SATURDAY. Her actual 16th birthday isn’t until NOVEMBER 23rd.
• Pussycat Dolls – Frontwoman Nicole Scherzinger is reportedly set to buy a London home with her F1 racing driver BF Lewis Hamilton. The duo’s been dating ever since they first met in NOVEMBER.
• Spice Girls – 34-year-old Melanie Chisholm has announced she’s expecting a baby with long-time partner Thomas Starr, making her the last of the former girl group to become a mom.
ONE FOR TWO:
An article in the NOVEMBER 1968 issue of “Mechanix Illustrated” fairly accurately predicted the state of the world 40 years in the future: “The single most important item in 2008 households is the computer. These electronic brains govern everything from meal preparation and waking up the household to assembling shopping lists and keeping track of the bank balance.” On the other hand, the exact same article also predicted: “People have more time for leisure activities in the year 2008. The average workday is about 4 hours.” (Oops.)
– “Toronto Star” / ModernMechanix.com
BEST-SELLING “PEOPLE“ ISSUES:
The all-time most popular covers in “People” magazine’s 35-year history, based on total number of newsstand copies sold …
4. “Brad & Angelina Introduce The Twins!” (August 3, 2008) … 2.6 million single copies.
3. “JFK Jr – Charmed Life, Tragic Death” (August 2, 1999) … 2.8 million.
2. “Goodbye, Diana” (September 22, 1997) … 3 million.
1. “September 11, 2001: The Day That Shook America” (September 24, 2001) … 4.1 million.
– Jossip.com
THUMBS DOWN:
Texting may have revolutionized the world of communication but it also has a downside … kids who constantly send text messages are at risk of developing repetitive strain injury. Regular texting using just the thumb to type can cause pain and swelling in the tendons and possible long-term injuries, according to the Chartered Society of Physiotherapists. As cellphones continue to get smaller and more young people acquire them, they’re becoming more at risk of a condition more often linked to desk-bound adults. (Will future folk will have claw-shaped hands?)
– “Telegraph”
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• In England, a judge has solved the housing problem of a homeless former $100,000-a-year chef by sending him to jail for 15 months. The crime? Living at Gatwick Airport. The 43-year-old began living in the terminal in 2004 after leaving a job and losing his apartment. He’s being imprisoned for violating an order that banned him from the airport until 2011 unless he was there to catch a plane or arriving on one. (Will Tom Hanks make “The Terminal 2“?)
• In Ohio, a man who says he doesn’t trust paper money has delivered enough coins to a Cincinnati-area auto dealership to cover half the price of a pickup truck. The 70-year-old plunked down 16 coffee cans full of coins … $8,000-worth. He then wrote a cheque for the other half. (The dealership bookkeeper is likely thrilled.)
• In Florida, police in Miami have arrested an 18-year-old for pretending to be a bus driver. He was apparently stealing buses and then driving the routes, picking up and dropping off passengers along the way. He’s been charged with grand theft, even though he always returned the bus at the end of his shift. (This guy’s so reliable, the transit company should hire him!)
BS AMAZING FACT:
‘Michael’ has shown remarkable staying power as a baby name in English-speaking countries. It was #1 in 1968 and was still hanging in at #2 LAST YEAR. On the flipside, the name ‘Lisa’ topped female lists 40 years ago but only made it to #573 LAST YEAR.
– FamiliesOnlineMagazine.com
AND WE QUOTE:
“I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer, because there will be that one day in your 20s when you’ll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg.”
– 29-year-old Jennifer Love Hewitt (“Ghost Whisperer”), simultaneously expressing every girl’s lament … and every guy’s wish.
BS CHRONOMETER 08.25.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1930 [78] Sean Connery, Edinburgh, Scotland, retired movie actor (Oscar-“The Untouchables”, “Dr No”)/the best ‘James Bond’? FACTOID: TODAY he releases a long-awaited autobiography entitled “Being a Scot” at the “Edinburgh Book Festival” in Scotland.
1931 [77] Regis (Francis Xavier) Philbin, NYC, TV host (“Live With Regis & Kelly” since 1989, “Million Dollar Password” 2008, “America’s Got Talent” 2006, “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” 1999-2001)/has had more screen-time than anyone in TV history
1944 [64] Conrad Black, Montréal QC, disgraced newspaper magnate now serving 78-month prison term for fraud & obstruction of justice
1949 [59] Gene Simmons (Chaim Witz), Haifa, Israel, reality TV show personality (“Gene Simmons: Family Jewels” since 2006, “The Celebrity Apprentice” 2008)/long-tongued dinosaur rocker (Kiss-“Rock ‘n Roll All Night”, “Beth”)
1958 [50] Tim Burton, Burbank CA, movie director/producer (“Corpse Bride”, “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory”)
1961 [47] Billy Ray Cyrus, Flatwoods KY, country singer (“Busy Man”, “Achy Break Heart”)/TV actor (“Hannah Montana”)/father of teen singing & acting phenom Miley Cyrus
1967 [41] Jeff Tweedy, Belleville IL, rock singer (Wilco-“Sky Blue Sky”, “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot”)
1968 [40] Rachael Ray, Glens Falls NY, TV personality (“Rachael Ray”, “30 Minute Meals”, “Rachael Ray’s Tasty Travels”)
1970 [38] Jo Dee Messina, Framingham MA, country singer (“My Give a Damn’s Busted”, “Lesson in Leavin’”)
1981 [27] Rachel Bilson, LA CA, movie actress (“Jumper”)/TV actress (“The OC” 2003-07)
1987 [21] Stacey Farber, Toronto ON, TV actress (‘Ellie Nash’ on “Degrassi: The Next Generation” since 2002)
1987 [21] Blake Lively, Tarzana CA, TV actress (‘Serena van der Woodsen’ in “Gossip Girl” since 2007)/movie actress (“The Sisterhood Of the Traveling Pants 1 & 2”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Banana Split Day”, saluting the ooey-gooey sundae concoction that’s served in a ‘boat’.
• “Kiss-and-Make-Up Day”, a day to make amends in relationships that have deteriorated. (Let’s see, there’s that ornery cab driver, that rip-off auto mechanic, the boss …)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1970 [38] Elton John makes his North American debut in an LA nightclub, opening for singer David Ackles (uh … who?)
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1785 [223] 1st Issue of “Montréal Gazette”, oldest newspaper still in existence in Canada
1940 [68] 1st ‘Parachute Wedding’, as bride, groom, wedding party, minister & musicians all skydive over NYC (the honeymoon proves especially challenging!)
1960 [48] 1st time players’ names appear on the back of football uniforms (the old AFL)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1922 [86] ‘Highest-Scoring Major League Baseball game’ – Chicago Cubs 26, Philadelphia Phillies 23 (51 hits, 23 walks, 10 errors!)
1981 [27] Jeff Schwartz sets record for ‘Solo Trampoline Bouncing’ (266 hours, 9 minutes)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Make Your Own Luck Day
[Tues] Women’s Equality Day
[Tues] Single Parent Family Day
[Wed] Petroleum Day
[Wed] La Tomatina tomato fight (Bunol, Spain)
[Fri] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Be Kind To Humankind Week / Democratic Convention (Denver) / Minority Enterprise Development Week / Safe at Home Week / Truck Driver Appreciation Week
BULL’S BITS
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
WHAT YOUR HAIR SAYS ABOUT YOU:
Think you’re choosing your casual hairstyle just for comfort? Think again! Experts say that the way a woman wears her hair during downtime tells a ton about her passion preferences …
• Pulled Back in a Ponytail – While it seems like an innocent schoolyard ‘do, ponytail wearers tend to be surprisingly bold between the sheets. Pulling your hair away from your eyes rather than hiding behind it indicates sexual self-confidence.
• Superstyled Even at Home – If you always look like you just stepped out of the salon even when you’re home alone, you love order and consistency in all of your personal encounters. You’re happiest when orchestrating an erotic encounter rather than following a male lead.
• Wild & Free Hair – Loving your hair’s untamed state is a sign that you’re comfortable in your own skin. You’re likely to be relaxed about life, love, and sex. You can let yourself go in bed without fear of getting mussed up.
• Thrown Up in a Messy Bun – Chances are, you crave glamour in the boudoir. ‘Bun girls’ really enjoy male attention. Exposing the neck is a subconscious way of flirting and showing you’re available.
– “Cosmopolitan”
BS JOB SEARCH JARGON:
What the job posting says … what it really means.
• “Some Overtime Required” … Some time each night and some time each weekend.
• “Sales Position Requiring Motivated Self-Starter” … We’re not going to supply you with leads; there’s no base salary; you’ll wait 30 days for your first commission.
• ‘Duties Will Vary” … Anyone in the office can boss you around.
• “Career-Minded” … We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.
• “Seeking Candidates With a Wide Variety of Experience” … You’ll need it to replace the 3 people who just left.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I wish I had a dollar for … every one I’ve spent.
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which is the only city to host the modern Olympic Games 3 times?
a. Athens. [Twice. 1896, 2004.]
b. London [CORRECT. 1908, 1948, 2012.]
c. Paris. [Twice. 1900, 1924.]
BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could have a complete collection of movies starring one actor or actress, which would you pick?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The more you dream at night, the longer THIS might be.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Your life.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The trouble with life is, you’re halfway through it before you realize it’s a do-it-yourself thing.