The Bull Sheet

August 15, 2008

Friday, August 15, 2008        Edition: #3837
Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The relationship between 32-year-old “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier & 23-year-old “Transformers 2” actress Isabel Lucas is apparently over (seems when he said everything was ‘okay’ after her accident in Shia LaBeouf’s car – he was lying) . . . 34-year-old actor “Dark Knight” actor Christian Bale will NOT face charges over that alleged assault on his mother & sister in London, however word has it he’ll have to admit guilt in order to get off with a ‘caution’ from police (shame on you, go stand in the corner!) . . . 22-year-old “The Hills” star Lauren Conrad is giving up her Hollywood home and planning to move back to Laguna Beach because she’s become ‘too famous for her neighbors’ (yeah, like Jack Nicholson’s jealous) . . . Tom Cruise’s long-time production partner Paula Wagner has announced she’s leaving her post at the helm of United Artists studio to ‘pursue projects independently‘ (BS translation: Tom turfed her because they haven’t had a hit since taking over this turkey) . . . 39-year-old Jennifer Lopez will serve as executive producer on a new TV sitcom version of her 2002 romantic comedy “Maid in Manhattan”, set to air on ABC-TV (maybe the TV series will actually be a hit?) . . . And the “Rock & Roll Hall of Fame” has announced it will open a $12-million ‘branch museum’ in the SoHo district of NYC this NOVEMBER, with exhibits that include John Lennon’s last piano, Bruce Springsteen’s first car, Elvis Presley’s biker jacket, and the phone booth from legendary punk club CBGB (how long before they close down ‘the mistake by the lake’ in Cleveland?).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Bernie Mac – SATURDAY a public memorial for the late actor takes place at the House of Hope in Chicago IL.
• “Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget“ (Comedy Central) – SUNDAY roast-master John Stamos (‘Uncle Jesse‘ on “Full House”) takes a hot poker to his former co-star, who’s now a regular on “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS).
• “Degrassi: The Next Generation” (N) – TONIGHT Natasha Bedingfield sings at the prom. Why are kids in TV shows always winning contests that get celebs to appear at their prom?
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – THIS AFTERNOON the Jonas Bros are on. Squeal!
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – TONIGHT Mariah Carey is onstage.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – TONIGHT Emmylou Harris performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – Word has it there are talks between Paul McCartney and Louise Harrison, the late George Harrison’s sister who’s lived in the US since before the Fab Four blew up, to open a Beatles Museum in of all places … the tourist trap town of Branson, Missouri.
• Britney Spears – She asks her maid to leave her chores to do around the house because she thinks cleaning is great therapy. In TODAY’s edition of “OK!” magazine, she claims she likes to unwind by getting down on her hands and knees to scrub. (Are there videos?)
• Elvis Presley – A new set of Elvis & Priscilla Presley ‘Barbie’ dolls has been unveiled, sporting replicas of the outfits the real-life couple wore on their 1967 wedding day in Las Vegas.
• Kanye West – He’s set to open a fast-food chain in his hometown. Beginning in SEPTEMBER, KW Foods will open 10 ‘Fatburger’ locations in the Chicago area, as well as one in LA.
• Madonna – Long-time rep Liz Rosenberg has shot down a slew of recent rumors. It seems Madonna is NOT adopting a 2nd child from Malawi and NOT postponing upcoming concerts nor her 50th birthday party because of a sprained ankle. The birthday bash for 50 or so is expected to go SATURDAY at her country estate in Wiltshire UK as planned.
• Pussycat Dolls – TONIGHT socialite-turned-reality TV star Kim Kardashian strips down to her lingerie to host a performance at the Pussycat Dolls Lounge at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. Other stars who have purred with the Dolls include Christina Aguilera, Christina Applegate, and Gwen Stefani.
• Shooter Jennings – The country rocker has polished up a previously unreleased 2002 album he recorded with his late father, Waylon Jennings, when he was just 16. “Waylon Forever” will be released in OCTOBER.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Clone Wars” ( PG Animated Sci-Fi Adventure ): This 3-D tale chronicles the on-going battle between the Republic and the Trade Federation. No-name voice cast other than Samuel L Jackson. It’s the first “Star Wars” film that does NOT feature Frank Oz as the voice of ‘Yoda’,  John Williams composing the music; and is NOT opening in the month of MAY. A setup for the upcoming “Clone Wars” TV show (Cartoon Network/TNT).
NET: http://www.starwars.com/clonewars/site/index.html
• “Mirrors” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): This movie answers the question, What does Kiefer Sutherland do in the seemingly year-long gaps between “24“ seasons other than go to jail? Sutherland plays an ex-NYC cop whose family is threatened by an evil force that uses mirrors as a gateway into their home. Co-stars Amy Smart (“Felicity”) & Paula Patton (“Swing Vote”). Partially shot in Romania. A remake of the 2003 Korean film, “Geoul Sokeuro”.
NET: http://www.mirrorsmovie.com
• “Vicky Cristina Barcelona“ ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): In Woody Allen’s latest, Scarlett Johansson & Rebecca Hall (co-stars in “The Prestige”) play friends on vacation in Spain who become enamored with the same painter (Javier Bardem of “No Country for Old Men“). Things get complicated when his tempestuous ex-wife (Penelope Cruz) re-enters the picture. The much-talked-about love scene between Johansson & Cruz is said to be ‘less frothy’ than hyped. Shot entirely in Spain.
NET: http://www.vickycristina-movie.com

THE NEW FARM MINORITY:
According to United Nations data, the world’s urban population is set to surpass the rural total for the first time in history. The UN estimate says SATURDAY will be the day the shift will happen, with the urban population expected to overtake the more than 3 billion rural dwellers (3,349,383,005 to be exact). Officials admit the fuzzy projection is based on estimates and incomplete census info. (If just one of you would move to a farm today, we could postpone this!)
– “The Guardian”

WHITHER EMBARRASSMENT?
Researchers in Scotland are set to investigate the psychological roots of embarrassment. Anja Eller of St Andrews University says she’ll lead the 3-year study because embarrassment remains one of the final unexamined areas of negative emotions. Anxiety, shame, and guilt have all previously been explained. Among other things, the researchers will try to understand why we feel embarrassed on behalf of others. (“Um, this is my tongue-and-eyebrow pierced, tattoo-covered, faux-hawk-headed son who just got out of prison …”)
– “Globe & Mail”

PRICIEST DIGS:
An unidentified Russian oligarch has just laid out what is likely the most ever paid for a private home … a sum just shy of $800 million. That shatters the previous record of $114 million paid by British steel tycoon Lakshmi Mittal for a mansion in London’s Kensington Palace Gardens in 2004. The new record-priced home is a villa on the French Riviera that has in the past belonged to King Leopold II of Belgium and Fiat owner Gianni Agnelli. The vendor is Brazilian-born socialite and philanthropist Lily Safra, who is said to have been holding out for months for the bidder to increase the offer. (Nice real estate commission for someone … about $40 million!)
– “GQ”

BS FROM AROUND-THE-WORLD:
• In India, a new dating website is devoted to matching up people who work in … call centers. The operators of the matchmaker service say it makes sense to put so-called ‘business process outsourcing’ staff in touch with each other because they understand the pressures of the job, and people who work nights and sleep during the day need to find partners with similar patterns. (They work nights so they can call us over here exactly in the middle of dinnertime.)
NET: http://bposhaadi.com
• In Spain, a 65-year-old Englishman is set to return to competition in the sport he loves … bullfighting. Frank Evans began training as a matador at the age of 23 and says that while most men his age focus on golfing, he has other plans. THIS SUNDAY he’ll attempt a return to the ring in Malaga even though he recently underwent a quadruple heart bypass and had a knee replaced with a prosthetic. (Hopefully he’s fighting an old cow with papier-maché horns.)
• In Sweden, the National Tax Board says it’s loosening its rules to allow parents more leeway in … naming their children. The given-name overseer will now accept corporate-influenced baby names, provided they won’t cause embarrassment later in life. For instance, ‘Melitta’ (coffee) is now acceptable but Durex (condoms) is not. The board’s ban continues on names based on swear words, genitalia, and potentially offensive religious names. (Hollywood could sure use these people!)

DID YOU KNOW?
The world’s largest living organism may well be a 2,400-year-old honey mushroom that occupies some 2,200 acres underground in the Blue Mountains of eastern Oregon. (Imagine the steak you could pair this baby up with!)
– ExtremeScience.com

BS CHRONOMETER 08.15.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [50] Craig MacTavish, London ON, NHL head coach (Edmonton Oilers since 2000)/former player who survived 14 NHL seasons even though he was the last to play without a helmet

1964 [44] Debi Mazar, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Shauna’ on “Entourage” since 2004)

1972 [36] Ben Affleck, Berkeley CA, movie actor (“Pearl Harbor”)/movie director (“Gone Baby Gone”)/screenwriter (1998 ‘Best Screenplay’ Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”)/married to actress Jennifer Garner (2005)

1974 [34] Natasha Henstridge, Springdale NL (raised in Fort McMurray AB trailer park), movie actress (“The Whole Nine Yards”, “Species”)/TV actress (“Eli Stone” 2008)

1978 [30] Tim Foreman, Lake Arrowhead CA, alt-rock bassist (Switchfoot-“Dare You to Move”, “Meant to Live”)

1978 [30] Kerri Walsh, Santa Clara CA, 6′-3“ beach volleyball player (2004 Olympic Gold; she & teammate Misty May-Treanor are prohibitive favorites to repeat, AUGUST 21st in Beijing)

1989 [19] Joe Jonas, Casa Grande AZ, pop singer (Jonas Bros-“ When You Look Me In the Eyes”, “Burnin’ Up”)/TV actor (“Camp Rock”)

SATURDAY –
TV personality Kathie Lee Gifford (“Today Show”) is 55; Filmmaker James Cameron (“Titanic”) is 54; Pop singer Madonna (“Like a Virgin”) is 50; Movie/TV actor Steve Carell (“The Office”) is 45; Country singer Emily Robison (Dixie Chicks) is 36; Pop singer Vanessa Carlton (“A Thousand Miles”) is 28.

SUNDAY –
Movie actor Robert DeNiro (“Raging Bull”) is 65; Oldies singer Belinda Carlisle (Go-Go’s) is 50; Movie director-actor Sean Penn (“Into the Wild”) is 48; Rock guitarist Gilby Clarke (Guns N’ Roses) is 46; Canadian bluesman Colin James (“I Just Came Back”) is 44; Pop singer/actor Donnie Wahlberg (New Kids On the Block) is 39.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canadian National Exhibition” through SEPTEMBER 1st, a late summer tradition in Toronto since 1879.
NET: http://www.theex.com
• “Failures Day”, a day for to reflect on life’s accomplishments. Interesting to note that every successful person has had failures … but failures are no guarantee of success.
• “Independence Day” in India, celebrating separation from the United Kingdom in 1947.
• “Relaxation Day”, a day to think about and encourage new forms of relaxation. Beer?
• “Winnie’s Hometown Festival” in White River ON, the 20th annual weekend celebration of local-bear-made-good, ‘Winnie-the-Pooh’.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/6grk7a

SATURDAY –
• “International Homeless Animals Day”, observed annually on the 3rd SATURDAY of AUGUST.
• “Natural Chimneys Jousting Tournament” in Mt Solon VA, staged annually on the 3rd SATURDAY of AUGUST. It’s the oldest, continuously-held sporting event in the USA, replete with horses, lances, swords, and body armor … just like in medieval England!
NET: http://www.uvrpa.org/specialevents.htm
• “Pacific National Exhibition”, the 98th edition  in Vancouver through SEPTEMBER 1st.
NET: http://www.pne.ca
• “Roller Coaster Day”, celebrating every amusement park’s fast-rack to fun. The idea for the roller coaster was first patented by LaMarcus Adna Thompson in 1885.
• “Sturgeon Moon”, the Full Moon of August. A few aboriginal tribes referred to it as the “Red Moon” because it often appears reddish through haze. It was also variously called the “Green Corn Moon” or “Grain Moon”.
• “Tell-A-Joke Day”, a good day to have people call in with really rotten jokes, then tutor them on how to make them funnier.

SUNDAY –
• “Archeology Day” … but unfortunately, we couldn’t dig up any information on why.
• “Thriftshop Day”, or as [co-host] refers to it … ‘Get a New Wardrobe Day’.
• “Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run”, the 12th annual at Vancouver’s clothing-optional beach, part of the “Buns Across the Border” naturist celebration.
NET: http://www.wreckbeach.org

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1939 [69] “The Wizard of Oz” premieres at Grauman’s Chinese Theater in LA (originally a box office flop, it only becomes a classic years later)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1969 [39] “The Woodstock Music & Art Fair” opens, attracting some 450,000 rock fans to watch 2 dozen bands on a wooden stage in the middle of Max Yasgur’s farm (leads to future mega-rock events getting tagged with the suffix ‘-stock’)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1848 [160] 1st ‘Dental Chair’ (Waldo Hanchett of Syracuse NY patents his creation, complete with headrest & adjustable seat)

1877 [131] 1st use of telephone greeting ‘Hello’ as Thomas Edison persuades his pal Alexander Graham Bell that it sounds better than the previously used ‘Ahoy!’ (try using ahoy on the phones throughout your show today)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1974 [34] A team of 6 athletes in Phoenix AZ performs the ‘Longest Trampoline Bouncing Marathon’ (1,248 hours or 52 days)

1994 [14] NFL-record crowd of 112,376 attend Dallas/Houston exhibition game in Mexico City

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Bad Poetry Day
[Mon] Discovery Day (Yukon)
[Tues] Aviation Day
[Tues] Keith Urban releases repackaged “Greatest Hits: 19 Kids”
[Wed] “Rocker” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] Montréal World Film Festival 2008 opens
This Week Is … Elvis Week (aka ‘Help Lisa Marie Avoid Singing for a Living Week’)
This Month Is … Child Support Enforcement Month (aka ‘Deadbeat Dad Month’)

BULL’S BITS
BS PHONE STARTER:
Name something you wanted as a child but never got.

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most-requested music files online …
5. Rihanna – “Take a Bow”
4. Young Jeezy – “Put On”
3. Katy Perry – “I Kissed a Girl”
2. Lil Wayne – “Got Money”
1. Lil Wayne – “A Millie”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Teamwork is vital … it gives you someone to blame.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: You will do THIS about 15,000 times in your life.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Honk your horn.      

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is like the Internet: You begin with a logical direction, but one link leads to another and before you know it you can’t remember where you were going or how to get back.

Exit mobile version