BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TV host Oprah Winfrey & regular guest expert Dr Mehmet Oz are suing over 50 small businesses, claiming illegal use of their names & images to endorse various beauty products & dietary supplements (according to the lawsuit, their reps are ‘gravely injured’) . . . 52-year-old illusionist David Copperfield says a lawsuit filed against him by a 22-year-old fashion model is nothing more than ‘extortion for money’ (so why not just make her disappear?) . . . Author Jordan Scott is suing “Twilight” author Stephenie Meyer, alleging the 4th novel in the vampire series, “Breaking Dawn”, bears a ‘striking and substantial similarity’ to Scott’s 2006 fantasy novel “The Nocturne” (Meyer’s 2nd plagiarism lawsuit this year – hmm) . . . Actress Eva Longoria Parker (“Desperate Housewives”) is taking on a Spanish-speaking role for the first time in a Mexican kidnapping movie called “Day of Grace” (her Spanish ‘opportunity’ opened up thanks to English-language duds like “Over Her Dead Body”) . . . Actor Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) tells “Huffington Post” NFL QB Michael Vick deserves another chance after doing time for his ‘dog problem’ (hey Alec, maybe Michael can help you with your ‘thoughtless little pig’ problem?) . . . Word has it TLC is not happy with Jon Gosselin (“Jon & Kate Plus 8”) but he may not care because he has his sights set on a new TV show called “Divorced Dads’ Club”, which chronicles the lives of famous divorced fathers (can this guy’s likeability sink any lower?).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Reba McEntire (“Keep On Loving You”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Jack’s Mannequin (“Everything in Transit”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight No Doubt (“Everything in Time”).
• “Miss Universe 2009” (NBC/Telemundo) – Sunday Billy Bush hosts live from the Bahamas as women from over 80 countries vie for the crown (then trip all over themselves getting caught up in various scandals). Performers include Flo Rida and David Guetta w/Kelly Rowland.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Natasha Bedingfield (“Angel”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight the Dead Weather (“Horehound”).
• “X Factor” (ITV) – Saturday Simon Cowell’s UK singing competition returns for season 6. The show’s most famous spawn is Leona Lewis (2006). Like “American Idol”, the first few weeks are devoted to edited-together auditions, some by horrifically bad performers.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billy Joel – He’s selling a pair of adjacent homes in the Hamptons on Long Island NY for $35 million after his recent split from 3rd wife Katie Lee Joel. (And opened a bank account in the Cayman Islands?)
• George Strait – “Twang” has become his 5th #1 album on the “Billboard 200”; it’s also his 23rd #1 on the ‘Top Country Albums’ chart, extending his own record for most chart-toppers.
• Kenny Chesney – His Saturday show at Detroit’s Ford Field includes a ‘Working People Section’ where the ticket price was just $29.50.
• Lil Wayne – He’s confirmed he’ll become a dad this year … twice! Once with on/off girlfriend Nivea & again with actress Lauren London. (This guy is gonna be so broke by the time he’s 30!)
• Madonna – She reportedly made her 22-year-old boyfriend Jesus Luz cry when she refused to wear Brazilian good-luck bracelets he gave her for her 51st birthday. Made of thin ribbon said to grant 3 wishes when they break, she purportedly said they clashed with her Kabbalah bracelets.
• Mariah Carey – She’s taken herself out of the running for any “Grammy Awards” nominations because her next album, “Memoirs Of an Imperfect Angel”, will be released 1 day too late to qualify (September 29th). Some say it’s to avoid further disappointment … she’s only picked up 5 awards out of 21 nominations since 1991.
• Nine Inch Nails – Saturday they kick off their final set of North American tour dates at NYC’s Bowery Ballroom. The tour wraps with shows at 4 different LA venues in early September.
• Ozzy Osbourne – Yesterday his image was unveiled on one of the largest billboards in LA, hanging 12-stories-tall above Sunset Strip. Thanks to special lighting, it can be seen for miles at night. It’s a promotion for the annual “Sunset Strip Music Festival”, coming September 10-12.
• Shania Twain – On her official website she thanks fans for their support following her marriage split with Mutt Lange and promises them ‘a gift’ on her 44th birthday, August 28th. New single?
• Sheryl Crow – She’s sold her music publishing catalogue to an Ireland-based investor. “Wall Street Journal” reports the deal is worth about $10 million.
• U2 – Bono & The Edge tell UK’s Radio 1 their upcoming ‘Spider-Man’ Broadway musical “Turn Off the Dark” will be ‘dizzy’ and ‘not a straight take on the myth’. How to kill the core fans, guys.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Inglourious Basterds” ( R-Rated War Drama ): Quentin Tarantino’s long-in-the-works satire about an American-led killing squad known as ‘The Basterds’, who terrorize the Nazis in German-occupied France during World War 2. Stars Brad Pitt, Diane Kruger (“National Treasure: Book of Secrets”), and BJ Novak (“The Office”). Loosely based on 1978’s “Inglorious Bastards”. Shot in Germany & France.
NET: http://www.inglouriousbasterds-movie.com
• “Post Grad” ( PG-13 Comedy ): “Gilmore Girls” alum Alexis Bledel plays a recent college grad who just can’t land a corporate job so she moves back in with her oddball family in order to reconsider her options. Co-stars Zach Gilford (“Friday Night Lights”) as the boyfriend, Michael Keaton as the dad & Carol Burnett as the grandmother. Sorta sounds like the story of ‘Rory Gilmore’ 4 years after the TV series ended … only now her name is ‘Ryden’.
NET: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFR4SgfqAFc

MOON TREES:
The ultimate backyard status symbol may be a tree that has been to the Moon. There are hundreds of them, and most are unaccounted for. Astronaut Stuart Roosa took a packet of tree seeds on the Apollo 14 mission to the moon in 1971. After orbiting 34 times, the seeds were planted on Earth and grew into trees. Soon everyone seemed to want one. In 1975-76, trees were sent to the White House, to Philadelphia, to New Orleans, even to the Emperor of Japan. So many requests came in so quickly that no one kept systematic records, and that’s why the whereabouts of the trees today are mostly unknown.
– NASA website.

ALL-TIME GREATEST ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYERS:
According to a new ranking by music critic Josh Tyrangiel …
10. Prince.
9. Swedish guitarist, composer, multi-instrumentalist Yngwie Malmsteen.
8. Recently deceased solid-body electric guitar inventor Les Paul.
7. Rock ‘n roll pioneer Chuck Berry.
6. Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin).
5. Eric Clapton (solo, Derek & The Dominoes, Cream, Yardbirds).
4. Keith Richards (Rolling Stones).
3. Blues legend BB King.
2. Slash (Velvet Revolver, Guns N’ Roses).
1. Jimi Hendrix (solo, Jimi Hendrix Experience).
– “TIME Magazine”

BITTER JOHN:
Excerpts from a previously unreleased interview with John Lennon about The Beatles’ split …
• “We sold out … and I felt sick.”
• “We got fed up with being sidemen for Paul.”
• “George insulted her [Yoko Ono] right to her face and I didn’t hit him, I don’t know why. Ringo was alright but the other two really gave it to us. I’ll never forgive ’em.”
Mikal Gilmore’s article, “Why The Beatles Broke Up”, appears in the upcoming issue of “Rolling Stone” magazine.
– Jam! Show Biz

TV ON GLOSSY PAPER:
CBS-TV is embedding a video player in a magazine print ad that will preview its fall program lineup. The ad, dubbed by CBS and partner Pepsi Max ‘the first-ever VIP (video-in-print) promotion’, works like one of those audio greeting cards. Opening the page activates the player, a quarter-inch–thick screen seen through a cutaway between 2 pages. The video-enhancement plays full-motion video at a crisp resolution. It will appear in the September issue of “Entertainment Weekly” … but only in a limited number of subscriptions delivered to NYC and LA. (And this morning we’re showing video on the radio. Look directly into your speaker …)
– “Wired”

DID YOU KNOW?
A recent survey by an Italian sexologist reveals that couples with TVs in their bedrooms have sex about half as often as those without. (An even then, only during commercials.)
– CNN.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“I remember really vividly kneeling by my bed as a 9-year-old, saying my prayers and asking God to give me boobs that were so big that if I laid on my back, I wouldn’t be able to see my feet. Eventually, that request was granted.”
– Pop singer Katy Perry, as quoted by “Showbiz Spy”, proving what a big boob she truly is.

BS CHRONOMETER 08.21.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1938 [71] Kenny Rogers, Houston TX, classic country singer (“Lucille”, “Coward Of the County”)/Diamond Award for sales of more than 10 million copies of his “Greatest Hits” album/former TV-movie actor (“The Gambler I-VI”)/plastic surgery victim

1956 [53] Kim Cattrall, Widnes UK [raised Vancouver Island], movie actress (“Sex & The City: The Movie”)/TV actress (‘Samantha Jones’ on “Sex & The City” 1998-2004)

1967 [42] Serj Tankian, Beirut, Lebanon, rock singer (“Sky is Over”, “Empty Walls”, w/System Of a Down-“Hypnotize”, “Aerials”)

1973 [36] Sergey Brin, Moscow, Russia [grew up in Adelphi MD], computer wiz who co-founded Google with Larry Page in 1998/5th-richest person in the USA/4th-youngest billionaire in the world (personal net worth estimated at $18.5 billion)

1979 [30] Kelis (Rogers-Jones), Harlem NY, R&B singer (“Lil’ Star”, “Milkshake”)/married to rapper Nas 2005-09

1983 [26] Brody Jenner, LA CA, reality TV personality (“Bromance”, “The Hills”, “The Princes of Malibu”)/sometime model (Guess?)/son of former Olympic decathlon champion Bruce Jenner

1986 [23] Usain Bolt, Trelawny, Jamaica, sprinter (2008 Olympic Golds-100 meters & 200 meters)/world 100 meter record (9.58 seconds set at this week’s World Championships in Berlin) & 200 meter record (19.30 seconds)

1989 [20] Hayden Panettiere, Palisades NY, TV actress (‘Claire Bennet” on “Heroes” since 2006)/movie actress (“I Love You, Beth Cooper”)/wannabe pop singer (“Wake Up Call”)

SATURDAY –
Sci-fi author Ray Bradbury (“Fahrenheit 451”) is 89; TV correspondent Steve Kroft (“60 Minutes”) is 64; Rock guitarist Paul Doucette (matchbox twenty) is 37; Pop singer Howie Dorough (Backstreet Boys) is 36; Rock bassist Dean Back (Theory Of a Deadman) is 34; Rock guitarist Jeff Stinco (Simple Plan) is 31.

SUNDAY –
Rock guitarist Dean DeLeo (Stone Temple Pilots) is 48; TV actor Jay Mohr (“Gary Unmarried”) is 39; NBA basketball star Kobe Bryant (LA Lakers) is 31; Rock singer Julian Casablancas (The Strokes) is 31.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canadian National Exhibition” through September 7th, a late summer tradition in Toronto since 1879. This year’s attractions include a tribute to the Winter Olympic Games, the “CNE Cup” international soccer match, and – as always – the Canadian International Air Show.
NET: http://www.theex.com
• “Hug Your Boss Day”, because you weren’t already feeling tense enough around him/her.
• “Men’s Grooming Day”. What? Once a year? Were you born in a barn?
• “Ramadan” begins, the Islamic month of fasting for over a billion Muslims worldwide. The daily period of fasting starts at dawn and ends at sunset. During daylight hours, adherents totally abstain from food, drink, smoking, and sex. A common greeting during the observance is ‘Ramadan Mubarek’ (‘Blessed Be the Month of Ramadan’).
• “Statehood Day” in Hawaii, celebrating the 50th anniversary of it becoming the 50th state to join the USA on August 21, 1959. Two things Hawaii doesn’t have … snakes and billboards.

SATURDAY –
• “Pacific National Exhibition”, the 99th edition  in Vancouver through September 7th. This year’s entertainment includes April Wine, Chris Isaak, Doc Walker, En Vogue, and Randy Bachman.
NET: http://www.pne.ca
• “Tooth Fairy Day”, honoring the devious dental donor who leaves money under kids’ pillows for lost teeth. So how much moolah for a molar these days?

SUNDAY –
• “International Day For the Remembrance Of the Slave Trade & Its Abolition”, a day designated by UNESCO to memorialize the transatlantic slave trade.
• “Ganesh Chaturthi”, the worldwide Hindu celebration of the birthday of Lord Ganesha, when icons are immersed in lakes, rivers, and seas.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2005 [04] The Rolling Stones kick off “A Bigger Bang” world tour at Fenway Park in Boston MA (after pauses for a concussion and alcohol rehab, it wraps 2 years later as the highest grossing tour of all-time at over $558 million)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1933 [76] 1st Major League Baseball ‘All-Star Game’ (Babe Ruth’s HR leads AL to 4-2 win)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [23] Colin Watson & Andre Douglas set the ‘World Hairdressing Record’ in Northcliff, South Africa by cutting, setting, and styling continuously for 408 hours … that’s 17 days!

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] Waffle Day
[Tues] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Tues] Secondhand Wardrobe Day
[Wed] Dog Day
[Wed] Women’s Equality Day
[Wed] La Tomatina (Bunol, Spain)
This Week Is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Foot Health Month

BULL’S BITS

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HYUNDAI MODEL, CIRQUE DU SOLEIL SHOW, OR PHARMACEUTICAL?
Ask a contestant to guess which is which is which …
• Elantra [Hyundai]
• Corteo [Cirque du Soleil]
• Cymbalta [Pharmaceutical]
• Saltimbanco [Cirque du Soleil]
• Santamo [Hyundai]
• Allegra [Pharmaceutical]
• Alegria [Cirque du Soleil]
• Azera [Hyundai]
• Zaia [Cirque du Soleil]
• Lyrica [Pharmaceutical]
– Thanks to Adam McDowell.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Let’s say you were sent to live on the Space Station for 3 months and you were allowed to bring only 3 personal items along. What would they be?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
When the going gets tough, the tough use duct tape.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: It’s estimated the average household will create about 412 of THESE this year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Digital photos, according to the Photo Marketing Association.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
An ‘authority’ knows lots and lots of things that you don’t care about.