BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“Glee” creator Ryan Murphy has announced Brit pop singer Susan Boyle and the music of Paul McCartney will be featured in the FOX-TV show’s next season (word has it McCartney asked to have his music used) . . . According to author Andrew Morton’s new book, “Angelina: An Unauthorized Biography”, actress Angelina Jolie was once so depressed she hired a hitman to off her – whom she was going to pay by installments (sounds like a punchline) . . . Actor Jeff Goldblum has quit his role as ‘Detective Zach Nichols‘ on the NBC-TV drama “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” due to the ‘uncertainty of the show’s future’ (it’s already August and still not decided whether there’ll be a 10th season this Fall) . . . “Vanity Fair” magazine’s just-released annual unranked list of ‘Best Dressed Celebrities’ includes: pop singer Lady Gaga, Brit actress Carey Mulligan, Spanish actor Javier Bardem, German actress/model Diane Kruger, France’s First Lady Carla Bruni, and US First Lady Michelle Obama (no mention of documentary filmmaker Michael Moore) . . . Actress/singer Jennifer Hudson tells “InStyle” magazine he’s dropped 5 dress sizes since she recently embarked on a WeightWatchers diet plan (she’s down to a size 92) . . . And reality TV star Khloe Kardashian (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) & her NBA player-husband Lamar Odom (LA Lakers) have announced they’re releasing a ‘unisex fragrance’ called ‘Unbreakable’ in time for Valentine’s Day next year (features the scent of lilac with a hint of gym bag).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Saving Abel (“Miss America”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Doves (“Kingdom of Rust”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Titus Andronicus (“Airing of Grievances”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – VV Brown (“Travelling Like the Light”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – Flo Rida (“Step Up 3-D Original Motion Picture Soundtrack”) performs; Janelle Monae (“The ArchAndroid”) performs; another contestant is eliminated.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Plain White T’s (“The Wonders Of the Younger”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arcade Fire – Tonight director Terry Gilliam (“Brazil”, “12 Monkeys”) directs a live webcast of their Madison Square Garden concert in NYC. The entire show will stream online via VEVO.
• Aretha Franklin – The 68-year-old ‘Queen of Soul’ has had to cancel 2 free concerts in NYC because she’s recovering from a fall in which several ribs were broken. You’d think she was adequately padded.
• Billy Idol – Tonight the classic rocker kicks off a 6-week North American tour in Tulalip, Washington.
• Brad Paisley – He’ll release the double album titled “Hits Alive” on November 2nd. The first half will feature studio versions of his hits; the second half previously unreleased live versions.
• Doc Walker –The Portage la Prairie MB trio has been nominated for 5 “Canadian Country Music Awards”. The CCMAs take place September 12th at Rexall Place in Edmonton.
• The Doors – A scrap of yellowing paper on which Jim Morrison scribbled lyrics to “LA Woman” has sold for $19,500 at a rock memorabilia auction in Reading, England.
• Eminem – The recovering drug addict has blasted celebrity doctors, accusing them of supplying high-profile patients with prescription meds just so they can keep in contact with stars.
• Justin Bieber – He’s set to release a photo book later this year offering behind-the-scenes pics and details of the lead-up to his world tour. He emphasizes the book is not a memoir.
• Lady Gaga – She leads nominations for the “2010 MTV Video Music Awards” with 13, the most ever received by an artist in a single year. The hardware’s handed out September 12th.
• Michael Jackson – Producer/Black Eye Peas frontman Will I Am tells AP he doesn’t think Jackson’s just-announced posthumous album should be released. Quote: “He was a perfectionist and he wouldn’t have wanted it that way.”

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The Cold Light of Day” – Bruce Willis & Sigourney Weaver are to set to r in this thriller about a young man (Henry Cavill) whose family is kidnapped while they are on vacation in Spain. He discovers the disappearance is linked to secrets his father has kept from him. Shooting is due to start this September.
• “The Hangover 2” – 35-year-old actor Bradley Cooper says he can’t wait to go to Thailand to shoot the sequel to the hit 2009 comedy, which took in close to $470 million in worldwide box office. Zach Galifianakis, Heather Graham, and Ed Helms will also return for the follow-up, which begins filming in October for a scheduled release next May.
• “Mommy & Me” – Meryl Streep and Tina Fey are set to play mother and daughter in a new comedy to be directed by Streep’s “The Devil Wears Prada” co-star Stanley Tucci. The movie highlights the thorny relationships that often develop between moms and daughters. It’s due to open in 2012.
• “Mulan” – 31-year-old actress Zhang Ziyi will produce and star in a new live-action 3-D adaptation of the ancient Chinese legend about a brave female warrior who disguises herself as a man in order to join the all-male army fighting an invasion. Disney, which made an animated version in 1998, will invest $100 million in the project. Production begins in China in October.
• “Trespass” – Just 2 weeks before filming is scheduled to begin in Louisiana, Nicolas Cage has reportedly pulled out of director Joel Schumacher’s new thriller. The actor was set to star alongside Nicole Kidman as a husband and wife who are taken hostage under strange circumstances. The reason for the star’s departure from the project is unknown.

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• ‘Subtle Butt’ is a disposable patch of fabric with an activated carbon filter that purportedly neutralizes stench. Basically it’s a small square of fabric you stick to underwear in case you lay a real stinky egg. Yes, this is a real product you can buy. A pack of 5 ‘Subtle Butt’ patches costs $11.95. (Unfortunately, these fluffy filters do nothing to muffle sound.)
NET: http://solutionsthatstick.com
– Fashionista.com
• Huggies has introduced a limited-edition new line of denim-looking ‘Jeans Diapers’. Even more outrageous than the product are the sell-lines being used in TV/YouTube ads, which include “I poo in blue”; “When it’s a number two, I look like number one”; and “My diaper is full of chic.” (In case you find it necessary for your kid to dump in denim.)
NET: http://bit.ly/a4AyXg
– HecklerSpray.com
• The Nakajima Lab at the University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo, Japan has  demonstrated a prototype GPS system that’s built into a pair of eyeglasses. Drivers use the gadget by inputting a destination, then follow lights in the frame indicating which direction to travel. The inventors think the gizmo will be safer than handheld GPS systems because users can keep their eyes on the road. (Until they suffer a seared retina.)
– CrunchGear,com

BEST PAID ACTRESSES 2010:
A new ranking of Hollywood’s highest-paid female stars, based on total income from all sources over the past year …
5. Sarah Jessica Parker ($25 million).
4. Jennifer Aniston ($27 million).
2. [tie] Reese Witherspoon / Cameron Diaz ($32 million).
1. Sandra Bullock ($56 million).
– Forbes.com

LOOK, NO HANDS!
Instead of paintbrushes, St Petersburg, Russia artist Viktoria is opting to use … her boobs. Her method involves dipping her breasts into oil and watercolor paints before pressing them to the canvas for her latest artwork. She says the idea came to her in a dream about a year ago. The technique is more difficult than painting with your hands, she admits, because you have to be careful not to wipe off or smudge what you’ve already done. (You can make murals or cameos … depending on your equipment.)
– “Globe & Mail”

FOR THE RECORD:
17-year-old Kacee Larson of Conrad, Iowa has earned the nickname ‘Deer Magnet’ after hitting deer while driving … 5 times in the past year. Her string of bad luck began last Summer when she was driving home from her job at an ice cream shop. Her 5th and latest incident, last Friday, totaled her minivan and the vehicle’s air-bag left bruises on her arms. (On the upside, she’s got a heckuva trophy wall!)
– BakersfieldNow.com

BS AMAZING RETAILING FACTS:
• In the 1970s, Mattel sold a doll called ‘Growing Up Skipper’. Her breasts grew when her arm was turned.
• There was a long-lost 4th member of the ‘Snap, Crackle & Pop’ gang. ‘Pow’ represented Rice Krispies’ explosive nutritional value.
• The instant soft drink Kool-Aid was originally marketed as ‘Fruit Smack’.
• In 2008, the Little Tikes Company sold 457,000 toy ‘Cozy Coupes’, making it the best-selling car in North America.
–MentalFloss.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“The only thing that’s for sure is Ryan Seacrest.”
– Lone remaining “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson, commenting to E! Online about the show’s current upheaval.

BS CHRONOMETER 08.05.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [46] Adam (‘MCA’) Yauch, NYC, rapper (Beastie Boys-“Ch-Check It Out”, “Intergalactic”)/recent cancer survivor

1968 [42] Terri Clark (Sauson), Montréal QC [raised Medicine Hat AB], country singer (“In My Next Life”, “Girls Lie Too”)  BS FACTOID: She’s just announced the “Unplugged & Alone” solo acoustic tour, beginning September 25th in Kansas City MO.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Halfway Point of Summer”, time to quit carping about the weather and savor the last few weeks of the season.

• “International Beer Day”, celebrating suds from around-the-world. According to the latest ranking by tens-of-thousands of tasters at ratebeer.com, these are currently the world’s best-rated beers …
5. Three Floyds Vanilla Bean Barrel Aged Dark Lord Russian Imperial Stout (USA)
4. Three Floyds Oak Aged Dark Lord Russian Imperial Stout (USA)
3. Cigar City Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout (USA)
2. Narke Kaggen Stormaktsporter (Sweden)
1. Westvleteren 12 (Belgium)

• “Underwear Day”, the 8th annual organized by online retailer FreshPair.com. A good excuse to take a vote: Boxers, Briefs, Boxer-Briefs, or Commando?
NET: http://www.freshpair.com/underwear-day.html

• “Waffle Day”, when we’re encouraged to dig that old waffle maker out of the back of the cupboard and fire it up. And afterward, while spending an hour trying to clean the honeycomb pattern on the metal plates, remember why it was in the back of the cupboard to begin with.

• “Work Like a Dog Day”, a day to celebrate everyone who works hard to be successful.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [05] Lame comedy “The Dukes of Hazzard”, starring Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville & Jessica Simpson, opens in movie theaters (proving Jessica’s ‘acting’ requires soap suds)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1957 [53] “American Bandstand” makes its network TV debut on ABC, hosted by clean-cut 26-year-old Dick Clark

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2002 [08] 1,135 mothers in a Berkeley, California theater set a new Guinness Record for ‘Most Women Breast-Feeding Simultaneously’

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Fresh Breath Day
[Fri] U2’s “360 World Tour” restarts (Torino, Italy)
[Fri] “Lollapalooza Festival” begins (Chicago)
[Fri] “The Other Guys”; “Step Up 3-D” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day
[Sat] Professional Speakers Day
[Sat] Twins Day
This Week Is … Simplify Your Life Week
This Month Is … Foot Health Month

BULL’S BITS

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BS WAYS TO SCORE A ‘GUIDETTE’:
Just ahead of tonight’s edition of “Jersey Shore” (MTV), Snooki presents her top tips for guys …
• Hit the gym and the tanning bed.
• Seriously invest in your clothes, including your jeans.
• Don’t resort to pickup lines.
• Don’t worry about the fragrance; just be clean.
• You don’t have to party 24/7.
• Be yourself.
• Don’t be an egomaniac.
– AskMen.com

BS ‘THIS OR THAT THURSDAY’:
Ask a listener/studio guest/morning crew member to make a quick pick between …
• “America’s Got Talent” or “So You Think You Can Dance”?
• Hybrid vehicle or 4WD half-ton pickup?
• “Inception” or “Dinner for Schmucks”?
• Fresh peaches or fresh cherries?
• Frozen raspberry yogurt or Heavenly Hash ice cream?
• Iced tea or ice cold draught?
• The sound of wind chimes tinkling or the sound of waves crashing?
• The smell of fresh laundry or the smell of freshly-baked cinnamon rolls?
• Mountainview or seaside?
• Courtney Love or a rabid squirrel?

BS PHONE STARTER:
Other than a human, what would you pick to take with you into the ‘after-life’? (In a recent poll,  47% opt for a ‘photo album’; 25% pick a ‘pet’; 9% would take their ‘iPhone/Blackberry’. Talk about roaming charges!)

BS DILEMMAS:
• A friend has become a know-it-all. It’s annoying. Do you confront him/her?
• You plan to auction granny’s estate but are afraid valuable items will go for too little. Do you ask friends to bid up the prices?
• You’ve been pounding the pavement looking for work. A company where workers are on strike offers you a job. Do you take it?
• Technology will enable you to extend your life by 50 years. But you must clone a second body for organ replacements. Do you do it?
• The couple in the next apartment is brawling. Later you speak to the woman and discover she has minor bruises. She asks you not to call the police. Do you?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Don’t make a fool out of me … I’m doing OK by myself!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Studies show that people who do THIS have lower rates of heart disease and depression.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Volunteer. (CNN.com)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Patience comes to those who wait for it.