BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
MTV has confirmed “Jersey Shore” is getting a new ‘Guidette’, Snooki Polizzi’s real-life BFF Deena Cortese, who’s now shooting episodes for the reality show’s 3rd season (she describes herself as ‘class in a glass’ and ‘party in a body’) . . . The cast & crew of the ‘Harry Potter’ movies have celebrated the end of filming of the popular series at a funfair-themed wrap party in a field near the studios in Hertfordshire, England where the movies were shot (notably absent: Emma Watson) . . . Lindsay Lohan has been banned from seeing anyone apart from family during the first 30 days of her 90-day rehab program at the UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles (aren’t they the dysfunctional freaks she should stay away from?) . . . 41-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston says she doesn’t need a man to have a baby because these days wannabe moms have ‘so many options available’ (BS translation: No guy will put up with me) . . . 51-year-old actress/screenwriter Emma Thompson is currently drafting a screenplay for the upcoming reworking of the 1964 musical “My Fair Lady”, which she says deserves a makeover because late star Audrey Hepburn ‘couldn’t sing or act’ and her portrayal of ‘Eliza Doolittle’ was ‘twee’ and ‘mimsy-mumsy sweetness without any kind of bite’ (a legion of Audrey fans are gonna hate her for that!) . . . And the fame-seeking “Real Housewives of DC” couple, the Salahis, are trying to cash in on their notoriety by turning Michaele into both a Barbie doll and a Halloween costume, just as their lawyer is threatening to sue anyone who calls them ‘White House Gatecrashers’ (a good bet for trashy couple of the year).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC) – YouTube acts, chosen by viewers & the judges, perform.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Paolo Nutini (“Sunny Side Up”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Surfer Blood (“Astro Coast”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Slayer (“World Painted Blood”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Steve Winwood (“Revolutions: The Very Best of Steve Winwood”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Meat Loaf (“Hang Cool Teddy Bear”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Melissa Etheridge (“Fearless Love”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – She and former reality TV star Brody Jenner must still be going strong … he’s now shaved her initial into his hair.
• Blake Shelton – Today he releases his second ‘6-pack’ album of songs , “All About Tonight”. The first 6-pack, “Hillbilly Bone”, was released earlier this year.
• Kid Rock – Tonight he takes the stage at the legendary Buffalo Chip Campground during the 70th annual “Sturgis Motorcycle Rally” in Sturgis, South Dakota.
• Killers – Brandon Flowers tells “Elle” magazine it feels strange to be embarking on a solo project because he’s only ever been onstage as part of the band. He’s preparing to put out his first solo release, “Flamingo”, on September 14th.
• Ne-Yo – He tells “The Sun” he has no plans to settle down despite expecting his first child later this year via ‘friend’ Monyetta Shaw. He claims she knows he can’t commit and doesn’t mind him dating other women.
• Phil Collins – He tells “Mojo” magazine he struggles to watch footage of Genesis onstage at the height of their 1980s success because he was so ‘cocky and annoying’, which he admits is embarrassing now.
• Rod Stewart – The 65-year-old father-of-6 is set to become a dad once more as 39-year-old wife Penny Lancaster is pregnant with their 2nd child. The baby is due in March. The couple wed in 2007.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Date Night” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ): Two of TV’s biggest stars, Steve Carell (“The Office”) & Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) play a bored NYC married couple whose attempt at a glamorous, romantic evening turns into something more thrilling and dangerous thanks to a case of mistaken identity. Co-stars Mark Wahlberg (“The Other Guys”), rapper Common, Leighton Meester (“Gossip Girl”), Mark Ruffalo (“Shutter Island”).
• “Death At a Funeral” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Chris Rock & Martin Lawrence star in this story about the funeral of a family patriarch that degenerates into a debacle of arguments, exposed family secrets, and misplaced bodies. A remake of a 2007 British comedy directed by Frank Oz. Co-stars Danny Glover, James Marsden, Tracy Morgan, Luke Wilson.
• “The Joneses” ( R-Rated Comedy ): Demi Moore & David Duchovny star as a seemingly perfect couple who, along with their equally perfect teenagers (Amber Heard, Ben Hollingsworth) move into an upscale gated community. The ‘Joneses’ have better goods and game than any other family in town. The twist is, they’re not a family but employees of a stealth marketing organization, and they’re determined to make everyone else want what they’ve got.
• Also released today: “Crumb” (Documentary); “Max Headroom: The Complete Series” (Vintage TV); “Numb3rs: The 6th Season” (TV); “Titan Maximum: Season 1” (Animation); and “Trauma: Season 1” (TV).

DO A SIT-UP:
According to researchers from Southwest Missouri State University, numerous short exercise sessions are more beneficial than rigorous workouts. Researchers claim that several short, moderate- to high-intensity exercise sessions are more effective at lowering triglyceride blood levels than one long workout. After a high-fat meal, prolonged elevations in triglycerides, a type of blood fat, can increase the risk of heart disease. (Let’s see, this morning I went down the stairs … that’s 5 reps.)
– ANI Science & Health

DON’T LET YOUR RÉSUMÉ AGE YOU:
Big blunders job applicants over 40 should avoid …
• Don’t List All Your Experience – 20-to-30 years’ worth of experience is not what prospective employers are interested in. They want to know what you’ve done lately.
• Don’t Use Tired-Sounding Words – If you use words such as ‘seasoned’ and ‘veteran’, you’re not only making yourself sound older, but suggesting that you see yourself that way.
• Don’t List Experience Chronologically – Spotlight the last 10 to 15 years, highlighting your skills and responsibilities.
• Don’t Ignore the Internet – Establish a profile on LinkedIn, Facebook and ZoomInfo. For your profile photo, use a pleasant picture that only features you and no family members or friends.
• Don’t List Skills Just for the Sake of It – State your most up-to-date skills and remove any obsolete technology.
• Don’t Think Education Dates are Essential – It’s better to leave them off if you completed your program in the 1980s or earlier.
• Don’t Choose Quantity Over Quality – Instead of an exhaustive list of every job you’ve held, play up a few select positions and elaborate on what you achieved while there.
– Condensed from “Woman’s Day”

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 91% of men say being clean has helped them feel more confident when approaching a woman.
• 75% of married men don’t know the name of their wife’s perfume.
• 71% of people under 30 say they would rather go back in time than leap into the future.
• 41% of guys in their 20s say they would consider marrying for money.
• 25% of couples now sleep in separate beds or bedrooms.
• 20% of couples say they argue way more often when they are on vacation.

DOG DAYS OF SUMMER:
Thousands of dogs die every year from heatstroke. The most common causes are leaving a pooch chained in the yard without adequate shade and water, and leaving an animal in a closed vehicle. Animals with short or pug noses are more susceptible than long-nosed pets, and larger animals have a harder time cooling themselves than small ones. Even a small amount of exercise during the middle of a hot Summer day can be too much for your pet. (Not to mention you.)
– “Palm Beach Post”

RADIO’S ‘MOST VALUABLE LISTENERS’:
Research firm Alan Burns & Associates has identified 4 groups of radio users they’ve labeled ‘MVLs’ or Most Valuable Listeners. These are heavy radio listeners who are the most loyal to their favorite station. While the groups may overlap, you should focus on taking care of each of these segments of your audience …
• At-work listeners. They are 50% more likely than others to be radio’s heaviest users.
• Active social media users. 78% of them listen to 3 hours or more radio daily.
• Listeners who visit station websites or join listener or rewards clubs.
• Listeners who join station Facebook pages. They are 71% more likely to be heavy radio users.
– Condensed from FMQB.com

WHAT WOMEN WATCH:
What do women notice first when they look at a guy? According to one survey …
• His face (56%)
• His chest (21%)
• His eyes (12%)
• His tush (8%)
• His legs (3%)
– PA News

ONCE A JERK, ALWAYS A JERK:
New research suggests a strong link between personality traits observed in childhood and adult behavior. The University of California-Riverside study compared data from observations of elementary schoolchildren in the 1960s with videotaped interviews of the same individuals 40 years later. What they discovered is that most of us remain recognizably the same person in adulthood as we were as children. Bottom line: Personality seems to follow us wherever we go across time and circumstances. (Although the hairdos seem to get less dorky.)
– Psych Central News

DID YOU KNOW?
• ‘Jay’ used to be slang for ‘foolish person’. So when a pedestrian ignored street signs, he/she was referred to as a ‘jaywalker’.
• The sum of all the numbers on a roulette wheel is ‘666’.
–MentalFloss.com

BS CHRONOMETER 08.10.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [61] Gene Johnson, Jamestown NY, country singer (Diamond Rio-“I Believe”, “Beautiful Mess”)

1959 [51] Rosanna Arquette, NYC, movie actress (“Pulp Fiction”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)/sister of actors David Arquette & Patricia Arquette

1960 [50] Antonio Banderas, Malaga, Spain, movie actor (“Shrek” movies, “Spy Kids” films)/Mr Melanie Griffith since 1996  COMING UP: “Puss in Boots: Story Of an Ogre Killer” (2011).

1989 [21] Sam Gagner, London ON, NHL center (Edmonton Oilers)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “S’Mores Day” celebrating one of our favorite campfire treats. Here’s the complicated directions – toast marshmallows over campfire, then place them on graham cracker with piece of chocolate. Take second graham cracker and smush it on top. Inhale.

• “Spoil Your Dog Day” … like there’s some other option? What’s your pup’s favorite treat?

• “Smithsonian Day”, celebrating the series of Washington DC museums that form the Smithsonian Institution, basically ‘America’s Attic’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [02] Isaac Hayes, musician (“Theme from Shaft”) and actor (“South Park”), dies in Memphis, Tennessee due to a recurrence of stroke at age 65

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1985 [25] 1st solo album by a female artist to sell 5 million copies (Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”)

1985 [25] Michael Jackson pays $47.5-million for ATV Music catalogue, which includes 251 songs written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1995 [15] Los Angeles Dodgers forfeit game to St Louis Cardinals at Dodger Stadium after fans refuse to cease tossing souvenir baseballs onto the field during ‘Ball Night’

2006 [04] Britain’s Scotland Yard disrupts a major terrorist plot to destroy aircraft traveling from the UK to the US & Canada using liquid explosives (leads to the 1st banning of liquids and toiletries from carry-on luggage, which are still regulated today)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Ramadan begins (Muslim)
[Thurs] Vinyl Record Day
[Fri] Blame Someone Else Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th (only one in 2010)
[Fri] International Left-Handers Day
[Fri] “Eat Pray Love”; “The Expendables”; “Scott Pilgrim vs The World” open in theaters
[Sat] Garage Sale Day
[Sat] Sandcastle & Sculpture Day
This Week Is … Assistance Dog Week
This Month Is … Audio Book Appreciation Month

BULL’S BITS

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MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• If you add voice recognition software to your computer, can you yell at it?
• Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?
• Don’t you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not?
• How come, no matter what part of the world they’re from, all babies cry in English?
• Do people drive really slow in the morning because they’re afraid they’ll be early for work?
• Shouldn’t we all be saving our money in case it becomes valuable again someday?
• How does an Aspirin find the headache?

BS ANIMAL CRACKERS:
Called terms of ‘venery’ (‘the hunt’ in medieval times), many groups of animals have names you are familiar with – a ‘pack’ of dogs, a ‘school’ of fish, a ‘colony’ of ants. But try to identify these animals by their group names …
• A ‘rhumba’ of [rattlesnakes].
• A ‘plague’ of [locusts].
• A ‘parliament’ of [owls/rooks].
• A ‘troop’ of [baboons/monkeys/kangaroos].
• A ‘gang’ of [buffalo/elk].
• A ‘smack’ of [jellyfish].
• A ‘sneak’ of [weasels].
• A ‘battery’ of [barracudas].
• A ‘stench’ of [skunks].
• A ‘crowd’ of [people].
NET: http://www.herbweb.org/animals-collective-nouns.html

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on the computer.

WEB GOODIE:
If you’re looking for a truly goofy name to use for a character or a listing of actual weird place names, here’s the site …
NET: http://www.funnynames.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
When is too soon to start dating a new person after a big breakup?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Studies show wearing THIS can increase a woman’s chance of romance.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Lipstick. Men’s first impression of a woman’s attractiveness has been shown to be much higher when she wears lipstick. (DailyMail.co.uk)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If at first you don’t succeed, you’re doing about average.