When You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
50-year-old Dr Frank Ryan, the Beverly Hills CA plastic surgeon who remade Heidi Montag (“The Hills”) in a series of cosmetic procedures, has died after his Jeep plunged off a Malibu highway into the ocean (his ex-girlfriend claims the good doc was texting while driving) . . . The world’s most famous flight attendant, JetBlue jumper Steven Slater, has signed with Hollywood publicist Howard Bragman, who’ll help his new client deal with pending criminal charges then sift through offers for reality shows, interviews, and books (this is fame in the YouTube era) . . . Actress Evan Rachel Wood (“The Wrestler”) & shock rocker Marilyn Manson have reportedly called it quits for the 2nd time (too many fights over lipstick & mascara?) . . . A toilet removed from the New Hampshire home of late author JD Salinger (“The Catcher In the Rye”) is now up for grabs on eBay, allowing the options for bidding on it or buying it immediately – for $1 million (NET: http://bit.ly/czNpeX) . . . Doctors have warned 65-year-old actor Michael Douglas he could lose his voice during his battle against throat cancer, meaning he may never act again (radiation & chemotherapy treatments are due to start this week) . . . Ever since friends made jokes about his paunch, media mogul Simon Cowell has reportedly embarked on a strict diet & exercise regimen that includes 100 push-ups a day (great, but you’re still gonna die from smoking) . . . And famous person Paris Hilton tells FOXNews.com she needs a new challenge in her ‘career’ and has decided to open a chain of hotels (uh hon’, your great-grandfather Conrad already did that – it’s why you’re rich, dummy!).
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Natasha Bedingfield (“Strip Me”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Florida punk band Hey Monday (“Beneath It All”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Of Montreal (“False Priest”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Alejandro Escovedo (“Street Songs of Love”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Jordin Sparks (“Battlefield”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Ted Nugent (“Love Grenade”).
• “Today” (NBC) – Trace Adkins (“Cowboy’s Back in Town”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – K’Naan (“Troubadour”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Cali Swag District – Their tune “Teach Me How To Dougie”, the latest in a recent string of dance-craze starters, is named after old-school hip-hop artist Doug E Fresh.
• Katy Perry – She & fiancé Russell Brand reportedly make up for living so much time apart by spending an hour each day on a 3-way conference call with a ‘relationship advisor’.
• Lady Gaga – Producer RedOne says her new album will be ‘shocking’ and ‘the greatest work she’s ever done’. Unfortunately, we won’t hear much of it until 2011.
• New Kids On the Block – They’re teaming up for a tour with the Backstreet Boys in 2011, according to E! News. A source says the idea is to ‘recreate the boy band phenomenon’. (With middle-aged men?)
• Nirvana – Courtney Love has settled out-of-court a $1-million lawsuit over profits from late husband Kurt Cobain’s Nirvana catalogue. Management firm London & Co sued in 2008, claiming Love failed to share earnings from a sale of Nirvana’s publishing rights they claim was worth around $20 million. No details of the settlement have been revealed.
• Soundgarden – Bassist Ben Shepherd says he’s totally broke and homeless despite the group’s recent reunion. Since splitting with his girlfriend and moving out of their Seattle WA home in February, he’s been sleeping on studio couches and at friends’ houses.
• U2 – Bono’s daughter Eve Hewson has a role in Sean Penn’s new movie, “This Must Be the Place”, now shooting in Dublin, Ireland. The film’s due out in 2011.
• Wyclef Jean – He tells CNN he’s received anonymous death threats warning him to cease his campaign for president of Haiti and to get out of the country. (As he previously did at age 9.)
COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Dolphin Tale” – Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman is in talks to star in this new 3-D family film as a doctor who creates a prosthetic attachment for a dolphin to help the injured mammal swim again. The story centers on an 11-year-old boy, who persuades the doctor to help. Harry Connick Jr and Ashley Judd are also in talks to join the cast. Shooting starts later this year.
• “Fright Night” – Actor Dave Franco (ex-“Scrubs”) says this upcoming re-imagining of the 1985 slasher movie will be quite different from the original, which was very ‘campy’. He doubts that kind of movie would work today. Franco plays a new character with ‘no redeeming qualities’ alongside Toni Collette and Colin Farrell. The movie will hit screens in time for Halloween 2011.
• “X-Men: First Class” – The latest casting news has English actor Jason Flemyng joining up as ‘Azazel’ (‘Nightcrawler’s’ daddy) and Rose Byrne (“Damage”) playing a friend of ‘Professor X’, ‘Moira MacTaggart’. Kevin Bacon has also been confirmed as a villain, though it’s unclear who his character will be. The movie begins shooting soon for a scheduled June 2011 release.
• “Young Adult” – Director Jason Reitman and screenwriter Diablo Cody are aiming to replicate the success of their Oscar-winning hit “Juno” by teaming up for a new dark comedy starring Charlize Theron. She’ll play an author who returns to her hometown to pursue an ex-boyfriend, who is now a married father-of-one. Production is due to begin in NYC in October.
2010 HIP-HOP CASH KINGS:
A new ranking of the rappers who made the most moolah over the past year and the total amount they earned from all sources …
5. Dr Dre … $17 million.
4. Lil Wayne … $20 million.
3. Akon … $21 million.
2. Diddy … $30 million.
1. Jay-Z … $63 million, thanks to recordings, a world tour, owning a record label, a fashion line, sports bars, funding a Broadway musical, and a stake in the NBA’s NJ Nets.
– Forbes.com
MOST DIFFICULT WORD:
British mathematician Jon McLoone has built a computer game with a series of algorithms to figure out the most difficult word to guess in the common pencil & paper game of Hangman. He simulated 50 Hangman plays for every single word in the dictionary. That’s 90,000 words, totaling nearly 5 million games. His solution uses the key assumption that the guesser will pick common letters (ie: vowels) more often than rare ones (Q, X, Z, J). And the most difficult word to guess in Hangman is … ‘jazz’. (Which everyone’s now going to use, thereby ruining a game that was a perfectly good pastime.)
– Neatorama.com
NOW HEAR THIS:
A study published this week in the “Journal Of the American Medical Association” suggests that hearing loss among adolescents aged 12-to-19 has increased significantly in recent decades. That’s the conclusion of researchers at the Brigham & Women’s Hospital in Boston MA, who compared the results of hearing tests done from 1988-1994 with tests done in 2005-06. The result – an increase of about 30% in cases of hearing loss among today’s teens. (Unfortunately by the time you’re old enough to care, the damage has already been done.)
– TheGlobeandMail.com
IT’S DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN:
Every day 47-year-old Michelle Philpots wakes up in 1994. Due to brain injuries from 2 accidents, the British woman can recall everything up to that year, but each night forgets the events of the day before. For her, Ace of Base still tops the music charts and “Forrest Gump” is the movie everyone is flocking to see. (Sort of like a visit to [co-host’s] clothes closet.)
– MSNBC.com
OH, BROTHER:
Boys may delay their sisters from becoming women and from having sex, new findings from Australia suggest. The study finds that the presence of older brothers seems to delay the onset of menstruation in girls by nearly a year on average. Having younger brothers seems to postpone the beginning of sexual activity in women by slightly more than a year, scientists have found after interviewing close to 300 study subjects. (Having an older brother also seems to increase the odds of a boyfriend getting the crap kicked out of him.)
– LiveScience.com
THE NEW MEETING PLACE:
People with Internet access at home are more likely to be in a relationship as the web gains in importance as a meeting place for those seeking love. According to Stanford University researchers, 82% of those with Internet access at home also have a spouse or romantic partner, compared to just 63% of those without access. Among the couples who met within 2 years of the survey, 61% of same-sex couples and 22% of heterosexual couples found each other online. (Where did they find people without Internet access … Burkina Faso?)
– Reuters.com
DID YOU KNOW?
• Today, the average Facebook user has 130 friends.
– “Wilson Quarterly”
• Canadian national yo-yo champ Jensen Kimmitt of Edmonton has just won the 2010 World YoYo Contest.
– ModernYoyoing.com
BS CHRONOMETER 08.19.10
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [64] Bill Clinton (William Jefferson Blythe III), Hope AR, 42nd US President (1993-2001)/best-selling author (“My Life”)/much sought-after speaker ($175,000 a pop)
1951 [59] John Deacon, Leicester UK, classic rock bassist (Queen-“Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Another One Bites the Dust”)
1965 [45] Kevin Dillon, Mamaroneck NY, TV actor (‘Johnny Chase’ on “Entourage” since 2004)/brother of actor Matt Dillon
1965 [45] Kyra Sedgwick, TV actress (‘Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson’ on “The Closer” since 2005)/Mrs Kevin Bacon since 1988
1966 [44] Lee Ann Womack, Jacksonville TX, 5′-1” country singer (“I May Hate Myself In the Morning”, “I Hope You Dance”)
1969 [41] Matthew Perry, Williamstown MA [raised Ottawa ON], movie actor (“17 Again”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)/former TV actor (“Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip” 2006-07, “Friends” 1994-2004) UP NEXT: Co-created and stars in “Mr Sunshine”, a new comedy coming to ABC-TV.
1969 [41] Clay Walker, Beaumont TX, country singer (“She Won’t Be Lonely Long”, “The Chain of Love”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Afghan Independence Day”, celebrating the country of Afghanistan gaining full independence from the United Kingdom in 1919. (Only to be invaded 87 times afterward.)
• “Soft Ice Cream Day”, honoring the chilly treat that’s dispensed out of a nozzle in enticing whirls onto a cone. Don’t forget to get it dipped in chocolate!
NET: http://bit.ly/aTPPgw
• “SuperEx” begins in Ottawa, the 122nd edition of what used to be called the “Central Canada Exhibition”. Among the acts performing through August 29th: Five Man Electrical Band, Helix, Honeymoon Suite, and The Stampeders (nobody from this century?).
NET: http://www.ottawasuperex.com
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [05] “The 40 Year-Old Virgin” starring Steve Carell opens in movie theaters (making Seth Rogen a comedy star)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1951 [59] 1st midget in Major League Baseball is used as a pinch-hitter (3-ft, 7-in Eddie Gaedel gets a walk for the St Louis Browns … “High! Ball four!”)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1962 [48] Homer Blancos records the ‘Best-Ever Score in Competitive Golf’, shooting a 55 for 18 holes (Premier Invitational Tournament in Longview TX)
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] CNE begins (Toronto)
[Fri] Virtual Worlds Day
[Fri] Men’s Grooming Day
[Fri] “Lottery Ticket”; “Nanny McPhee Returns”; “Piranha 3-D”; “The Switch” open in theaters
[Fri] Hug Your Boss Day
[Sat] PNE begins (Vancouver)
[Sat] Senior Citizens Day
[Sat] Homeless Animals Day
This Week Is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Foot Health Month
BULL’S BITS
BS CONCERTS WE’LL NEVER SEE:
• ‘Harley Davidson presents the Jonas Brothers’
• ‘Armani presents Bruce Springsteen’
• ‘Mothers Against Drunk Driving presents Motley Crue’
• ‘Red Lobster presents Phish’
• ‘Tim Hortons presents Hole’
• ‘Pepto Bismol presents Red Hot Chili Peppers’
• ‘Weight Watchers presents Fat Joe’
• ‘Dr Scholl’s presents Korn’
• ‘Preparation H presents The Butthole Surfers’
• ‘American Airlines presents Train’
• ‘Herbal Essence presents The Dirty Heads’
FULL BAND OR SINGLE PERSON?
You reel off the following past/present recording acts while a contestant/studio guest/crew member tries to decide whether each is the name of a group or of an individual artist …
• Jesus Jones [Full Band], best known for the 1991 single “Right Here, Right Now”.
• Jethro Tull [Full Band], a British rock group formed in 1967.
• Dusty Springfield [Single Person], a 1960s crooner famous for “Son Of a Preacher Man”.
• Steely Dan [Full Band], who peaked in the ‘70s with “Reeling In the Years”.
• Eagle-Eye Cherry [Single Person], who had the 1997 hit “Save Tonight”.
• Pink Floyd [Full Band], named after blues musicians Pink Anderson and Floyd Council.
• Feist [Single Person], the Canadian artist Leslie Feist who sang “1, 2, 3, 4”.
• Roxette [Full Band], who had the 1990 hit “Joyride”.
• Mungo Jerry [Full Band], with the song “In the Summertime” you’ve heard in a million movies.
• James Gang [Full Band], the Cleveland OH band that spawned guitarist Joe Walsh.
– Thanks to Craig Dorfman
BS WEB GOODIE:
22-year-old UK software engineer Kelly Sutton is the founder of CultofLess.com, a website that’s helped him sell or give away almost all of his possessions. This modern-day minimalist says he’s getting rid of clutter because he thinks the ever-increasing number of digital products that are now available can provide adequate replacements for his former physical possessions.
NET: http://cultofless.com
BS PHONE STARTER:
What famous person do other people tell you that you sound like?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
If it wasn’t for my faults, I’d be perfect.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average boy owns 3 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sports jerseys.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
One of the great advantages of success is that you don’t have to listen to advice anymore.