BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Fresh out of rehab, Lindsay Lohan has had her driver’s license reinstated and is back on the road in her flashy Maserati, already getting pulled over by cops and issued a warning for reportedly rolling through a stop sign (oh oh, it was her driving that got her in trouble in the first place!) . . . The LA County Sheriff’s Department says it will re-interview actor Mel Gibson in connection with his extortion claims against former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva (after they bleeped the expletives out of the first interview there was nothing left) . . . A woman has filed a lawsuit against the producers of “Jersey Shore” (MTV), claiming she’s been left with a permanent scar on her chin after a heated argument between her and ‘Snooki’ Polizzi was broken up by the show’s security guards (the next season of this ‘scriptless’ show is developing into quite a story) . . . Paris Hilton’s boyfriend has reportedly been fired from his job as head of nightclub operations for Wynn properties in Las Vegas after being busted on suspicion of DUI Friday night while driving her along the famous Vegas Strip (how to blow your career, dude!) . . . A rep for 56-year-old John Travolta & 47-year-old wife Kelly Preston has confirmed the baby the acting couple are expecting is a boy and they’ve already celebrated with a baby shower earlier this month (we want to know who’s carrying the lad) . . . And 34-year-old actress Milla Jovovich (“Resident Evil: Afterlife”, opening September 10th) tells “Gotham” magazine she’s preparing to have another baby ‘soon’ via director-hubby Paul WS Anderson, because she doesn’t want a big age gap between a new baby and her 2-year-old daughter ‘Ever’ (the next one will be ‘Always’?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “CMA Awards” – Today at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville TN, Justin Moore & Chris Young reveal the nominees in 7 categories for this year’s honors. Dierks Bentley & Miranda Lambert announce the remainder tomorrow morning. The hardware’s handed out November 10th.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Surfer Blood (“Astro Coast”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Black Mountain (“Wilderness Heart, out September 14th)
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Merle Haggard (“I Am What I Am”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Street Sweeper Social Club (“Street Sweeper Social Club”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Norah Jones (“The Fall”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arcade Fire – Drummer Jeremy Gara says he gained 30 lbs (14 kg) during their recently completed 2-year tour because the band doesn’t booze … they snack.
• Goo Goo Dolls – Today they release their 9th studio album, “Something For the Rest of Us”, their first release since 2006.
• John Mayer – He’s shooting down those rumors that he’s reunited with Jennifer Aniston, telling an Irvine CA concert crowd “I’m completely single!”. (…. for 2 hours after the show.)
• Justin Bieber – Tonight he’s reportedly planning an onstage collaboration with his actor-pal Jaden Smith (“The Karate Kid”) at his concert at NYC’s Madison Square Garden.
• Lady Gaga – She says she’s not in the biz to make money and she spends ‘every dollar’ she makes on her ‘art’.
• Papa Roach – Today they release the new album “Time for Annihilation … On The Record and On The Road”, a mix of new songs and live cuts.
• Pussycat Dolls – Nicole Sherzinger has been cast in an upcoming episode of “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS), playing a former peer of Cobie Smulders’ character ‘Robin Scherbatsky’, as part of her Canadian teen pop alter ego ‘Robin Sparkles’.
• Taylor Swift – She appears to have found a new beau, British actor Toby Hemingway, whom she met on the set of her new music video, “Mine”.
• Tegan & Sara – Today their first 5 albums are being re-issued as “The Official Vinyl Collection Box Set”, which includes a bonus record of demos called “Home Recordings”.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Marmaduke” ( PG Family Comedy ): Straight from the comic strip, the story of the ‘Winslow’ family and their large-yet-lovable Great Dane, who has a tendency to wreak havoc in his own oblivious way. Stars Owen Wilson as the voice of ‘Marmaduke (does he only do dog movies now?); co-stars Judy Greer, Lee Pace.
• “Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married Too?” ( PG-13 Comedy ): When 4 couples reunite for their annual vacation in the Bahamas, their gathering is disrupted by the arrival of an ex-husband determined to win back his recently remarried wife. Stars singer/actress Janet Jackson, Jill Scott, and Louis Gossett Jr, alongside Perry.
• Also released today: “Brothers & Sisters: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); “Classic Artists: Legends Of the Canyon” (Music); “FlashForward: The Complete Series” (TV); “House MD – Season 6” (TV); “The Middle: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Parenthood: Season 1” (TV);
and “The Vampire Diaries: The Complete 1st Season” (TV).

NEW GAME ON:
What’s the ‘Foursquare’ hubbub all about? It’s a mobile app that helps find where your friends are hanging out and offers tips from other users on what to do once you get there. You use your phone to ‘check in’ at different places you visit, from bars and restaurants to parks, museums, even the grocery store. Foursquare rewards you for checking in with ‘badges’, ‘points’ and ‘mayorships’. It’s by no means the first location-based social network to help you connect with friends using GPS on your mobile device, but its growth has been accelerating rapidly and it recently added its 3-millionth member. (Your sales & marketing folks should be checking out the potential for station use of this.)
– Mashable.com

HOW TO STAY ALERT AT WORK:
Power through the workday slump with these energy-boosting tips from health experts …
• Chair Twists – Sit up straight, lengthen your spine, twist to the left and hold on to the back of your chair for 10 seconds before switching sides.
• Peppermint – Chew a stick of gum, eat a hard candy, or sip some peppermint tea. The scent is invigorating and provides an instant boost.
• Just Breathe – Stop whatever you’re doing, roll your shoulders back, open your chest and take 4 deep breaths.
• Nap – According to a National Sleep Foundation poll, 34% of us are now allowed to take naps during work breaks. 16% even say their companies provide a spot to snooze.
– Condensed from WomansDay.com

FEMALE CELEBS WHO’VE HAD THEIR SILICONE MELONS REMOVED:
Five famous femmes who had outrageous implants, but only temporarily …
• Pam Anderson
• Sharon Osbourne
• Jenna Jameson
• Victoria Beckham
• Kimberly Stewart
(Heidi Montag is likely to soon join the list.)
– TheFrisky.com

FOR THE RECORD:
• 28-year-old Sheyla Hershey is the proud owner of the ‘World’s Largest Breasts’, with a staggering, life-threatening bra size of 38KKK. A singer, dancer, actress, and model residing in Houston TX, she’s a 5′-3” proud wife and mother who’s had over 18 plastic surgeries in her life, mostly to her breasts, but also her nose, lips, and buttocks. As her home state limits the amount of silicone a person can have put in the body, she headed to Brazil, a country with no such restrictions, and walked (wobbled?) away with the breasts of her dreams.
– Oddee.com
• At 14-years-old and 6-foot-9, Elisany Silva is the ‘World’s Tallest Teenager’. Her height hasn’t come without problems. She’s had to leave school and her parents don’t have enough money to determine the cause or seek treatment for her inordinate growth. But Elisany wants to make the best of her size by seeking a career in modeling. She’ll reportedly soon be making her runway debut at a bridal fashion show in Belem, Brazil.
– HuffingtonPost.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• The Japan Sumo Association is distributing iPads to sumo wrestlers because they can’t use standard mobile phones … their fingers are too fat.
• New evidence from an archaeological dig has found that the oh-so-gauche socks-with-sandals look seems to have originated with the ancient Romans.
– Telegraph.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 08.31.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [65] Van Morrison, Belfast, Northern Ireland, classic rock/pop/blues singer (“Moondance”, “Brown Eyed Girl”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1993)

1948 [62] Rudolf Schenker, Hildesheim, Germany, rock guitarist (Scorpions-“Wind of Change”, “No One Like You”)  BS FACTOID: The band is currently on their “Get Your Sting and Blackout World Tour”. Next show is in Monterrey, Mexico on September 4th.

1949 [61] Richard Gere, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“Chicago”, “Pretty Woman”)/Dalai Lama pal

1972 [38] Chris Tucker, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“Rush Hour” movies, “Jackie Brown”)/stand-up comedian

1975 [35] Sara Ramirez, Mazatlan, Mexico, TV actress  (‘Dr Callie Torres‘ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2006)/Broadway actress (Tony Award-“Spamalot”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Burning Man”, the 24th annual free-form celebration through September 6th as some 20,000 gather in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, throw away their clothes or don outlandish costumes and recite poetry, build unusual art objects, and dance all night. At the finalé, they burn a 50-foot wooden effigy of a man.
NET: http://www.burningman.com

• “Invent a New Sandwich Day”, and be sure to give it a really creative name!
LEAST POPULAR BS SANDWICHES:
– Cheese, Pickle & Gristle
– Beard Trimmings on Rye
– Peanut Butter & Shoe Wax
– Ketchup on Wonderbread
– Baloney & Vicks Vap-O-Rub

• “Love Litigating Lawyers Day”, because even shysters need affection.

• “Trail Mix Day”, celebrating the combination of nuts, seeds, dried fruits (bark, twigs, compost), etc that takes about a gallon of water to wash down.

• “Veterinary Week”, to promote the ‘professionals who pamper and protect our pets’. (And bill us accordingly.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007 [03] Horror thriller remake “Halloween”, directed by rocker-turned-filmmaker Rob Zombie, opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1976 [34] A judge finds George Harrison guilty of ‘subconscious plagiarism’, ruling the chorus to his 1971 hit “My Sweet Lord” is identical to the 1963 Chiffons hit “He’s So Fine” (after years of litigation, Harrison eventually buys the rights to the Chiffons’ tune, thereby ending the problem)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1955 [55] 1st ‘Sun-Powered Automobile’ is demonstrated (so why is it again that we’re still paying through the nose for gasoline?)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [15] 6 people die attempting to rescue … a chicken that had fallen down a well in southern Egypt (only the chicken survives)

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Sept 1] “CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock” (ABC) / Building & Code Staff Appreciation Day / “The American” opens in movie theaters
[Sept 2] Brooks & Dunn’s “Last Rodeo” tour ends (Nashville)
[Sept 3] Lazy Moms Day / “Going The Distance”; “Machete” open in movie theaters
[Sept 4] International Drive Your Studebaker Day / Newspaper Carrier Day / Oatmeal Day
[Sept 5] Be Late For Something Day
[Sept 6] Labor Day
[Sept 7] Salami Day
[Sept 8] International Literacy Day / Rosh Hashanah (Jewish) / World Physical Therapy Day
[Sept 9] NFL Opening Kickoff 2010 (New Orleans) / Wonderful Weirdos Day / 35th Toronto International Film Festival begins / “The Vampire Diaries” season debut (CW)
[Sept 10] Eid-Al-Fitr (Muslim) / Stand Up to Cancer Day / Swap Ideas Day / World Suicide Prevention Day / “Resident Evil: Afterlife”; “The Virginity Hit” open in movie theaters
[Sept 11] Libraries Remember Day / Lacemaking Day / Patriot Day / Remembrance Day / Ganesh Chaturthi (Hindu)
[Sept 12] 27th “Video Music Awards” (MTV) / “Canadian Country Music Awards” (Edmonton) / Grandparent’s Day / Videogames Day / “Gossip Girl” season debut (CW)
[Sept 13] International Chocolate Day / Urban Eden Day / Boss-Employee Exchange Day
[Sept 15] International Day of Democracy / “Survivor: Nicaragua” debuts (CBS)
[Sept 16] International Day For the Preservation Of the Ozone Layer / Stepfamily Day
[Sept 17] POW-MIA Recognition Day / Yom Kippur (Jewish) / Oktoberfest begins (Munich, Germany) / “Alpha & Omega”; “Devil”; “Easy A”; “The Town” open in movie theaters
[Sept 18] Chiropractic Founders Day / Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day / National Respect Day / World Water Monitoring Day / International Eat an Apple Day / International Coastal Cleanup Day / Responsible Dog Ownership Day
[Sept 19] Talk Like a Pirate Day / Wife Appreciation Day
[Sept 20] “Dancing With the Stars” season debut (ABC) / “Hawaii Five-O” series debut (CBS) / “House” season debut (FOX)
[Sept 21] International Day of Peace / World’s Alzheimer’s Day / “Glee” season debut (FOX)
[Sept 22] Business Women’s Day / Autumn Equinox / Dear Diary Day / Elephant  Appreciation Day / Hobbit Day / Centenarian’s Day / White Chocolate Day / “Law & Order: SVU” 2-hour season premiere (NBC)
[Sept 23] 1st Day of Fall / Celebrate Bisexuality Day / Full Moon / “Grey’s Anatomy”-“Private Practice” season debut (ABC) / “CSI” season debut (CBS)
[Sept 24] Love Note Day / Punctuation! Day / Hug a Vegetarian Day / “Legend Of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole”; “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps”; “You Again” open in movie theaters
[Sept 25] Boys & Girls Club Day / Family Health & Fitness Day / Fish Amnesty Day / One-Hit Wonder Day / Public Lands Day / Hunting & Fishing Day
[Sept 26] Good Neighbor Day
[Sept 27] Ancestor Appreciation Day / World Tourism Day / World Heart Day / Eat Dinner With Your Kids Day
[Sept 28] World Maritime Day
[Sept 29] Women’s Health & Fitness Day

BULL’S BITS

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BS THINGS YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO APPEAR IN YOUR OBITUARY:
• “Found dressed like Judy Garland …”
• “… after being stabbed with a prison shank.”
• “Crushed by a poorly-mounted plasma TV over the bed.”
• “… due to injuries suffered when being run over by a parked car.”
• “Severe brain hemorrhage during a bout of constipation on the toilet …”
• “The rabid squirrel was eventually captured.”
• “While ill-advisedly looking down the barrel of a gun to see if it was loaded …”
• “Suffocated after accidentally being buried in a truckload of elephant dung.”
• “… from a heart attack while surfing adult websites.”
• “Alone and bitter.’

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your husband’s most annoying habit? (In a recent survey, the popular perception proved true: Most women picked ‘leaving the toilet seat up’.  ‘Leaving wet towels on the bed’ was 2nd.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A majority of women say THIS simple thing will make them happy.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sleep.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The person who spends all of today bragging about what he or she is going to accomplish tomorrow probably did the very same thing yesterday.