Friday, August 17, 2007        Edition: #3594
Ahhh, It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
“House” co-stars Jennifer Morrison & Jesse Spencer (‘Dr Allison Cameron’ & ‘Dr Robert Chase’) have just called off their wedding engagement, but claim they’re still ‘very close’ and ‘look forward to continuing to work together’ (translation: ‘We refuse to appear in the same scene ever again!’) . . . “Bachelor 10” couple Andy Baldwin & Tessa Horst have also broken off their engagement and announced she’s no longer moving to Hawaii to be with him, but they claim they’re ‘still together’ (apparently in an individual way) . . . The latest conquest of Brit actress Sienna Miller (“Stardust”) is said to be Welsh actor Matthew Rhys (“Brothers & Sisters“) whom she met on the set of the Dylan Thomas biopic “The Edge Of Love” (since splitting with Jude Law, she’s been ‘dating’ anything with a heartbeat) . . . ABC-TV is producing music videos for several of its shows, including “Ugly Betty”, “Desperate Housewives”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, “Dancing With the Stars”, and “Brothers and Sisters”, which will air both on the network and online (a rip-off of CTV’s “Unwritten” video montage?) . . . MONDAY’s season premiere of “The Hills” (MTV) was the top-rated show among 12-to-34-year-olds on all broadcast & cable networks in the time slot . . . HarperCollins is the latest publisher offering digital excerpts of newly-released books for viewing online and on mobile devices such as the iPhone (if you have trouble reading the print in paperbacks, forget about bothering with this!) . . . And in the upcoming movie comedy “The Wackness”, slated for release NEXT YEAR, 21-year-old Mary-Kate Olsen will lock lips with 63-year-old Ben Kingsley – and it’s not just a petty little peck, it’s a long, moist, passionate kiss (raising the onscreen bar for total ickiness).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Dierks Bentley – Beginning NEXT WEEK, his fans are being encouraged to help make country music’s first user-created viral music video. Using pre-taped performance footage of him in front of a green-screen, contestants will be able to submit their own version of “Free & Easy (Down the Road I Go)”.
• Elvis Presley – TODAY a new version of his 1969 hit “In the Ghetto” in which he’s accompanied by daughter Lisa Marie Presley is posted online at AOL’s music site to mark the 30th anniversary of his death.
NET: http://www.spinner.com/
• Foxy Brown – She’s in legal trouble again for assault. This time she reached out and touched her neighbor with a BlackBerry, landing the woman in the hospital and Brown behind bars facing a felony assault conviction.
• Van Halen – As if news of David Lee Roth joining his old bandmates Eddie and Alex for a reunion tour wasn’t enough, the band now says a new album may be on the way soon as well.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• The Editors – TONIGHT the hot new Brit rock band (“Smokers Outside the Hospital Doors”) does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• “Gene Simmons: Family Jewels” – SUNDAY the season premiere airs on MuchMoreMusic.
• “High School Musical 2” (Disney Channel/Family Channel) – TONIGHT the sequel to LAST YEAR’s surprise sing-along sensation debuts with the original cast (Zac Efron, Vanessa Anne Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel, Corbin Bleu, and Monique Coleman) back to perform in a talent show at a country club during summer vacation.
• Kenny Chesney – TODAY he’s working out with the New Orleans Saints as they prepare to play a pre-season game in Cincinnati against the Bengals SATURDAY. 5-ft, 6-in Chesney was a wide receiver in high school and has lately become tight with Saints head coach Sean Payton.
• Linkin Park – SUNDAY they’re “Live In Concert” on MuchLOUD.
• Mandy Moore – TONIGHT she sings her new release “Nothing That You Are” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Maroon 5 – TODAY they perform on both the “Today Show” (NBC) and the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Satellite Party – Perry Farrell’s latest band continues its late night talk show tour with a second night on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) TONIGHT.
• “Ultimate Elvis Tribute Artist “ – TONIGHT, as part of “Elvis Week” festivities in Memphis TN, 10 finalists compete for the title at the Cannon Center for the Performing Arts.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Death at a Funeral” ( R-Rated Comedy ): A British family loses its cool when their patriarch dies and a mysterious man shows up at the funeral claiming to be the deceased dad’s gay lover. When the stranger threatens to blackmail the distraught family, they go to extreme measures to keep his mouth shut. Directed by Frank Oz. No-name cast.
NET: http://www.deathatafuneral-themovie.com/
• “The Invasion” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): In this 4th movie to be based on Jack Finney’s novel, “The Body Snatchers“, Nicole Kidman stars as a Washington DC psychiatrist who discovers a mysterious epidemic that alters the behavior of human beings. Weirder still, the origins of the virus appear to be extraterrestrial. Co-stars Daniel Craig (“Casino Royale”). German director  Oliver Hirschbiegel’s English language debut originally wrapped in early 2006, then underwent massive rewrites & re-shooting in 2007.
NET: http://theinvasionmovie.warnerbros.com/
• “The Last Legion” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): In this period epic, a soldier escapes the crumbling Roman empire as barbarians descend upon his land. He embarks on a fantastic adventure in which he forms a band of legionaries who become determined to save the emperor. Cast includes Colin Firth, Ben Kingsley, and Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai. Shot in Slovakia & Tunisia.
NET: http://www.lastlegion-movie.com/
• “Superbad” ( R-Rated Comedy ): ‘Seth’ and ‘Evan’ (Jonah Hill, Michael Cera) are best friends about to graduate from high school. For one final blowout party, the pair of nerds try to buy booze to get some girls drunk in order to hopefully score for the first time. Vancouver-born writers Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg (who cooperated on “Da Ali G Show” & the hit movie comedy “Knocked Up”) started this script when they were just 14-years-old … just to see if they could write a movie.
NET: http://www.areyousuperbad.com/

SPEAKING OF ERRORS:
Linguists refer to verbal flubs such as mangled words or pauses filled by ‘uh’ and ‘um’ as speech disfluencies. It’s estimated the average person makes 1-or-2 verbal blunders in every 1,000 words spoken. Studies show that up to 8% of the words we say are somehow disfluent; and though we might make as many as 22 slips a day, we typically only notice about 1 a week. (So if you’ve been messing up everything you try to read this morning … relax, you’re normal.)
– “Boston Globe”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• A new TV series on Community Cable in Ft Worth TX called “John TV” provides rotating personal info on suspects arrested in prostitution cases, however the station is promising that profiles will be removed immediately if suspects are proven innocent of the charges. (Great. And just how do they ever get their rep back?)
• A New Zealand couple are looking to call their newborn son ‘Superman’ … but only because their chosen name of ‘4Real’ has been rejected. Pat & Sheena Wheaton say they will get around the decision by the Registrar of Births, Deaths & Marriages by officially naming their son ‘Superman’ … but will still refer to him as ‘4Real’. (Geez, are we stubborn?)
• A couple in New Jersey are happy with their decision to forgo their individual surnames after getting married in exchange for the new name ‘Dark’. Larry Charny & Alice Kirby, now known as Mr & Mrs Dark, say there’s a growing number of newlyweds choosing to create a new surname for their families. Instead of keep one spouse’s name, or hyphenating the combined surnames, the idea is to start of the marriage with a totally new name. ([Co-host] named hers ‘Fiasco’.)

THE NAME SAYS IT ALL:
Researchers at Miami University of Ohio have discovered that we tend to associate certain names with certain facial features. The name ‘Bob’, for instance, is associated with a larger and rounder face than other names. By contrast, ‘Tim’ is perceived as being leaner and more angular. The study finds we have a harder time remembering faces that go against our preconceived notions of what people with a given name should look like. (Like my 400-lb ‘Uncle Slim’.)
– “Focus Magazine”

THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT:
According to a new study at Britain’s University of Liverpool, evidence suggests that your height at 16 remains your ‘mental height’ forever. In other words, if you were kicked around as a kid for being short … you’re never going to get over it. (The reason Tom Cruise stands on a box in movie scenes with strapping women.)
– “Times of London”

HEY BIG GUY:
Like American women, US men have been getting bigger, according to the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. On average, American men are now 5 feet, 9 inches and 191 lbs … 25 lbs heavier than the average in the 1960s. (We’re now the same height lying down as standing up.)
– “Philadelphia Inquirer”

VACUUM LIB:
In the past 40 years, the average American has gained the equivalent of 7 weeks of vacation in the form of leisure time spread throughout the year. Much of that comes from a source few of us consider: Cleaning and cooking. These days we do much less of both, thanks to vacuum cleaners, takeout food, and other innovations. The time saved on those chores more than offsets the extra time women now spend in offices … at least according to one study. (Try explaining to your boss how you’d like to book your extra 7 weeks off.)
– “Boston Globe”

DID YOU KNOW?
• Suburban Tokyo in Japan now has 35 million people, more than the entire population of Canada. (“Parade Magazine”)
• A new US Mint survey has found that only 7% of Americans can name the country’s first 4 presidents in the order they served. (Let’s see, Washington, Oregon, Franklin, and Lincoln, no?)

BS CHRONOMETER 08.17.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [64] Robert De Niro, NYC, movie actor (“Stardust”, 2 Oscars-“The Godfather II”, “Raging Bull”)

1951 [56] Robert Joy, Montréal QC, TV actor (‘Dr Sid Hammerback’ on “CSI: NY” since 2005)/former TV comic (“Codco”)

1958 [49] Belinda Carlisle (Kurczeski), Hollywood CA, classic rock singer (“Mad About You”, w/The GoGos–“We Got the Beat”)

1960 [47] Sean Penn, Santa Monica CA, movie actor (“The Interpreter”, Oscar-“Mystic River”)/Mr Robin Wright since 1996/ex-Mr Madonna 1985-89

1962 [45] Gilby Clarke, Cleveland OH, rock guitarist (Guns N’ Roses-“November Rain”)/reality TV personality (“Rock Star: Supernova” 2006)

1964 [43] Colin James (Munn), Regina SK, rock/blues singer/guitarist (“Into the Mystic”, & the Little Big Band-“I Just Came Back”)

1969 [38] Donnie Wahlberg, Boston MA, TV actor (‘Horst Cali’ on “The Kill Point”)/movie actor (“Saw II & III”)/former boy-band singer (New Kids on the Block-“Hangin’ Tough”)

SATURDAY –
Movie actor/director Robert Redford (Sundance Film Festival) is 70; Movie actor Patrick Swayze (“Dirty Dancing”) is 55; Country singer Steve Wilkinson (The Wilkinsons) is 52; TV actor Denis Leary (“Rescue Me”) is 50; Musician Everlast (“What It’s Like”) is 38; Movie actor Christian Slater (“Broken Arrow”) is 38; Movie actor Edward Norton (“The Illusionist”) is 38.

SUNDAY –
Former US President Bill Clinton is 61; Classic rock bassist John Deacon (Queen) is 56; TV actor John Stamos (“ER”) is 44; TV actress Kyra Sedgwick (“The Closer”) is 42; Country singer Lee Ann Womack (“I Hope You Dance”) is 41; Country singer Clay Walker (“Fall”) is 38; TV actor Matthew Perry (“Friends”) is 38; Rapper Fat Joe (“Lean Back”) is 37.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Archeology Day” … but unfortunately, we couldn’t dig up any information on why.
• “Canadian National Exhibition”, through September 3rd, a late summer tradition in Toronto since 1879. Opening weekend features performances by the Village People, April Wine, and David Wilcox; a ‘RibFest’; and an attempt at a LEGO world record.
NET: http://www.theex.com/index.php
• “Super Ex” (aka “Central Canada Exhibition”) through August 26th, Ottawa’s 119-year-old annual fair. This year’s entertainment includes impressionist Rich Little, singers Jewel and Michael Bolton, and parody artist Weird Al Yankovic.
NET: http://www.ottawasuperex.com/main.cfm
• “Thriftshop Day”, or as [co-host] refers to it … ‘Get a New Wardrobe Day’.
• “Winnie’s Hometown Festival” in White River ON, the 19th annual weekend celebration of local-bear-made-good, ‘Winnie-the-Pooh’.

SATURDAY –
• “Bad Poetry Day”, a day to compose some really rotten rhyme as revenge against all that ‘good poetry’ you were forced to study in school.
• “Homeless Animals Day”, to call attention to the millions of pets put down in animal shelters each year due to overpopulation. Sponsored by the International Society for Animal Rights, who this year invite us to participate in an ‘Online Candlelight Vigil’.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/yu5w6c
• “LA Tofu Festival”, the 12th annual weekend-long bash in Los Angeles celebrating the joys of that wobbly stuff made from bean curd. So what’s the best way you’ve managed to disguise it?
NET: http://www.tofufest.org/
• “Natural Chimneys Jousting Tournament” in Mt Solon VA, staged annually on the 3rd Saturday of August. It’s the oldest, continuously-held sporting event in the USA, replete with horses, lances, swords and body armor – just like in medieval England!
NET: http://www.uvrpa.org/specialevents.htm
• “Pacific National Exhibition” in Vancouver through September 3rd, now known as “The Fair at the PNE”. The concert line-up for the 97th edition features Kenny Loggins, Tanya Tucker, the Pointer Sisters and ‘Teen Idols’, including Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees.
NET: http://www.pne.ca

SUNDAY –
• “Aviation Day”, an annual observance honoring the 1871 birthday of Orville Wright, who piloted the first self powered flight in history on December 17, 1903.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1990 [17] 1st edition of “The Directory of Elvis Impersonators” is released

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1993 [14] LAPD begins investigation of Michael Jackson after a 13-year-old boy tells his therapist that he’s been abused (no charges are laid but a civil suit is settled out of court in 1994)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1912 [95] 1st ‘Drive Across Canada’ (Thomas Wilby zips from Halifax to Victoria in just 52 days!)

1960 [47] 1st ‘Birth Control Pill’ hits the market (‘Enovid 10′)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] Potato Day
[Mon] Radio Day
[Mon] Discovery Day (Yukon)
[Tues] Spumoni Day
[Wed] Tooth Fairy Day
[Thurs-Sept 3] Montréal World Film Festival 2007
This Week Is … Buckle Up Week
This Month Is … Water Quality Month

BULL’S BITS

BS ‘IT PAYS TO BE IGERNANT’:
Nobody likes a smart-ass, so the object of this game is for your contestant to strive to be WRONG as you run through the questions. If they get all the answers incorrect, they win! The correct answers which they can NOT give are in parenthesis …
• When choosing a hotel/motel during vacation, 56% of us look for what? [A swimming pool.]
• In 1984, John Dwork became the first to receive a bachelor’s degree in what subject? [He graduated from Hampshire College in Amherst, MA with a degree in … Frisbee.]
• Naturalists say the diet of wild mice in urban areas is changing. What are they now eating more of? [Junk food left on the street. A piece of Snickers bar might now make better trap bait than cheese.]
• An average one weighs 280 pounds. What is it? [Sumo wrestler.]
• If a man’s tie is too tight it can cause this to diminish. What? [His vision.]
• Which Canadian province has the least amount of farmland? [Newfoundland.]
• Which US president was the first and only one to have an MBA degree? [George W Bush.]
• What do 75% of men say is more important than a woman’s looks. [Her personality.]
• With what activity did the phrase ‘Three Sheets to the Wind’ originate? [Sailing.]
• What is a wildlife research center in Chengdu, China now using to make souvenirs for the 2008 Olympics? [Panda poop.]
• What product had a period taken away from it in 1955? [Dr Pepper, formerly Dr. Pepper.]

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most-requested music files online …
5. T-Pain – “Bartender”
4. Plies f/T-Pain – “Shawty”
3. Huey – “Pop Lock & Drop”
2. Fergie – “Big Girls Don’t Cry”
1. Sean Kingston – “Beautiful Girls”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

BS RANDOM JOKE:
They say all the world’s a stage … and I missed rehearsal.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to “Modern Bride” magazine, THIS is the #1 thing a bride stresses about.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The best man’s toast.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Only the mediocre are always at their best.