Friday, August 9, 2019 – Edition: #6512

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet will be off for a summer vacation and will not be publishing Monday August 12 through Monday August 19.  All subscribers will receive credit for missed service days. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday August 20.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The Emmys are taking a cue from the Oscars this year and going hostless. Fox Entertainment CEO Charlie Collier made the announcement Wednesday, saying that his main reasoning for going without a host is to allow more time to “honor” the television shows to which the night is dedicated. As he put it: “If you have a host and an opening number, that’s 15-20 minutes you can’t use to salute the shows.” The Primetime Emmys will air September 22 on Fox.
-TheWrap
★ Channing Tatum is saying goodbye to his 17.4 million followers … for now. He took to Instagram on Wednesday to share that he’s taking a social media break. Tatum wrote: “I’m gonna take a break and come off socials for a minute. I’ve been trying to get inspired and create again.” He added, “I’m gonna go and be just in the real world for a while and off my phone.”
-TheBlast
★ John Legend and Chrissy Teigen will make their voice guest-starring debut on “The Simpsons” in the upcoming season. And they aren’t the only famous faces who will be lending their vocals to Fox’s Sunday “Animation Domination” lineup this fall, with a roster of A-listers including Jason Momoa, Bryan Cranston, Niecy Nash, Megan Mullally, Holly Hunter, Mary Steenburgen and Billy Eichner set to guest star on “The Simpsons,” “Bob’s Burgers,” “Family Guy” and the new series “Bless the Harts.”
-TheWrap
★ Disney has a “Home Alone” reboot in the works, and the news left many fans upset and confused by the decision. Moments after the announcement, fans of the franchise began theorizing that an updated “Home Alone” wouldn’t work in today’s technologically advanced society. One Twitter user noted that, “With GPS tracking, smartphones, texting, FaceTime, Google and Alexa services and advanced housing security systems, the odds of Kevin being left behind for as long as Macaulay Culkin’s character in the 90’s classic seems far fetched.
(Buddy, did you think the first one was believable?)
-TheBlast

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Oliver, CC Sabathia, Mini Mansions, Jeff Quay (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Lily Collins, Charles Melton, NCT 127 (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): David Letterman (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Mindy Kaling, guest co-host Vanessa Williams (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Fred Savage, Eugenio Derbez, Jeremy Jacobowitz
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ed O’Neill, Sofía Vergara, Julie Bowen, Ty Burrell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Sarah Hyland, Ariel Winter, Nolan Gould, Rico Rodriguez (R)
• “What Would You Do?” (ABC): Season 14 premiere. A deaf person is discriminated against at a restaurant; a woman faces criticism for sponsoring an immigrant child; a mother must split one meal between herself and her two hungry children.
• “WE Day” (ABC): A celebration of young people dedicated to changing the world; appearances by Mahershala Ali, Chance the Rapper, Selena Gomez, Joe Jonas, Bill Nye, Natalie Portman, Lilly Singh, Hailee Steinfeld, Pentatonix and more; Neil Patrick Harris hosts.

SATURDAY-
• “A Taste of Summer” (HALLMARK): A woman moves to Bright Shore, where she opens a restaurant and rediscovers her passion. Upon arrival, she encounters a former baseball player who has a competitive streak and owns his own restaurant.
• “Black Love” (OWN): Season 3 premiere. Whether it’s a forbidden workplace romance or a long-distance relationship conducted on the phone, couples share the stories that marked the beginnings of their lifelong loves.

SUNDAY-
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Celebrity teams are led by Sherri Shepherd, Ian Ziering, Tommy Chong, and Derek Fisher and Gloria Govan.
• “Teen Choice 2019” (FOX): Honoring the year’s stars from film, TV, music, fashion and comedy; performers include OneRepublic, Bazzi, Blanco Brown, Mabel, Jordan McGraw and Sarah Hyland, and HRVY; Lucy Hale hosts.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande — surprised Barbra Streisand fans when she jumped on the stage to perform with the legendary actress and singer. Holding hands and embracing each other, they belted out Streisand’s 1979 classic with Donna Summer, ‘No More Tears (Enough Is Enough).’
• Beyoncé – A history-making photo of her is being added to the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery’s permanent collection. The image was featured in the September 2018 issue of Vogue and was taken by Tyler Mitchell, who became the first African American photographer ever to shoot a Vogue cover.
• Taylor Swift — is returning to the MTV Video Music Awards for the first time since 2015. She’s the first performer to be announced for the 2019 awards, which take place Aug. 26. Her new album, “Lover,” drops on August 23.
• Metallica – frontman James Hetfield placed a phone call to Dee Gallant, the B.C. woman who bravely (and brilliantly) saved herself and her pup from an aggressive cougar by blasting Metallica. She says: “I thanked them for saving my life . . .I owe it to their song”
• Jack White – has finally collaborated with his “nemesis” Jack Black. After years of fans calling for the duo to team up, Black has confirmed they have been in the studio working on new material. It’s not known exactly what it is that the two Jacks are working on.
• Devo – have announced an appearance at the Desert Daze festival in at Lake Perris, Calif., during the weekend of Oct. 10-13, and co-founder Jerry Casale said it might be their last-ever show. It’s only the band’s third concert in five years – but despite festival promoters saying it was the opening point of a farewell tour, Casale rejected the suggestion.
• Keith Urban — did another live human jukebox video on Facebook on Wednesday, putting his own spin on Taylor Swift’s ‘You Need to Calm Down’. His version included a confession that he wasn’t totally sure what the lyrics are. He also performed ‘Long Hot Summer’ and ‘Blue Ain’t Your Color’.
• (***Caution: note content***) Kacey Musgraves – Her singalong chant during her set at Lollapalooza on Sunday left “Fox & Friends” host Ainsley Earhart outraged. She asked: “What happened to wholesome country singers?” in reference to Musgraves’ F-bomb laden chant — a response to the two mass shootings (in El Paso, Texas and Dayton, Ohio). Musgraves had asked her Lollapalooza crowd to scream “Somebody f–ing do something” a few times.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Kitchen: (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  The wives of New York gangsters in Hell’s Kitchen in the 1970s continue to operate their husbands’ rackets after they’re locked up in prison. (Elisabeth Moss, Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish)
• “Dora and the Lost City of Gold” (PG, Action/Family):  Dora, a teenage explorer, leads her friends on an adventure to save her parents and solve the mystery behind a lost city of gold. (Isabela Moner, Benicio Del Toro, Eva Longoria)
• “The Art of Racing in the Rain” (PG, Drama):  Through his bond with his owner, aspiring Formula One race car driver Denny, golden retriever Enzo learns that the techniques needed on the racetrack can also be used to successfully navigate the journey of life. (Kevin Costner, Milo Ventimiglia, Amanda Seyfried)
• “The Peanut Butter Falcon” (PG-13, Action/Drama):  A young man with Down syndrome runs away from a residential nursing home to follow his dream of attending the professional wrestling school of his idol, The Salt Water Redneck. (Shia LaBeouf, Dakota Johnson)
• “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” (R-Rated, Horror):  A group of young teens must solve the mystery surrounding sudden and macabre deaths in their small town. (Zoe Margaret Colletti, Dean Norris)

SMARTPHONE GAMES: SMARTER THAN YOU THINK:
A new study says that playing video games on your mobile device is a much more effective method of relieving stress than mindfulness apps…or even meditation. The study involved two experiments, which asked students to unwind in different ways after a math test, and after work. Both experiments showed those who chose smart phone games ended up being more relaxed and more in control than those who used “stress-busting” mindfulness apps or meditation. Lead author Dr. Emily Collins said: “To protect our long-term health and well-being, we need to be able to unwind and recuperate after work. Our study suggests playing digital games can be an effective way to do this.”
(If video games are good for relaxing, we’ve raised a pretty chill generation!)
(They obviously haven’t seen the way my teenager plays video games!)
-MedicalDaily

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A California man accidentally threw out his life savings of $23,000. Well, actually he recycled it. The man kept his money stuffed in a shoebox…and by the time he realized that he had mistakenly tossed his fortune, his recycling had been picked up and was en route to a sorting facility 200 miles away. Although most of the contents of the truck had been sorted by the time he got in touch with the manager of the facility, workers were asked to be on the lookout for the stuffed shoebox. The next day, someone spotted it – with all but $320 still in the box. (That’s probably less than the service charge he would have paid if he put his money in the bank!)
➢ A basketball player has been banned from the sport for two years after a urine test determined that he was — pregnant. D.J. Cooper, who last played for AS Monaco in Europe, was suspended for two years by the International Basketball Federation (FIBA) after a urine sample was found to contain high levels of a hormone produced by the female placenta during pregnancy. He reportedly had submitted his girlfriend’s urine as his own, without knowing that she was pregnant at the time. (That’s not what they meant when they told him to “Take a pee”!!)
➢ A British senior wound up with less than he expected when he went to hospital for a bladder operation and wound up with a circumcision. Terry Brazier underwent the wrong procedure after the Leicester Royal Infirmary mixed up his paperwork and mistook him for another patient. The shocked pensioner only found out afterwards when the embarrassed doctors had to admit their mistake. According to Brazier, “The nurse was at the side of me and we were talking so I didn’t know what was going on.” He has been awarded £20,000 (US $24,300) in compensation. (Which is a lot, considering they only had circumstantial evidence!)
-AP, OddityCentral, TheMirror

DID YOU KNOW?
There is no scientific evidence to suggest that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
-QI

BS CHRONOMETER 08.09.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [75] Sam Elliot, Sacramento, CA, movie actor (“A Star is Born”, “Tombstone”, “Roadhouse”)

1957 [62] Melanie Griffith, New York City NY, movie actress (“Working Girl’, “Body Double”)

1964 [55] Hoda Kotb, Norman OK, TV show host (“Today” since 2007, “Dateline NBC” since 1998)

1968 [51] Gillian Anderson, Chicago, IL, TV actress (‘Dana Scully’ on “The X-Files” 1993-2002, 2016-18, ‘Stella Gibson’ on “The Fall” 2013-2016)

1968 [51] Eric Bana (Banadinović), Melbourne, Australia, movie actor (“Hulk”, “Munich”)

1976 [43] Jessica Capshaw, Columbia MO, TV actress (‘Dr Arizona Robbins’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2009)

1985 [34] Anna Kendrick, Portland ME, movie actress (“Pitch Perfect” films, “The Twilight Saga”)

1990 [29] Bill Skarsgard, Vallingby Sweden, movie actor (“It”, “Deadpool 2″) COMING UP…”It Chapter Two”, 2019

SATURDAY- Rosanna Arquette (“Pulp Fiction”) is 60; Antonio Banderas (“The Legend of Zorro”) is 59; Justin Theroux (“The Girl on the Train”) is 48; ‘Mama’ June Shannon (“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”) is 40; Kylie Jenner (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) is 22

SUNDAY- Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak is 69; Wrestler Hulk Hogan is 66; Viola Davis (“How to Get Away With Murder”) is 54; Joe Rogan (“Fear Factor”) is 52; Anna Gunn (“Breaking Bad”) is 51; Chris Hemsworth (“Thor”) is 34

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Book Lovers Day”. No matter where you are, you’re never alone … as long as you have a book. Is reading as good when using a Kindle or iPad?

• “Hand-Holding Day”, set aside to celebrate one of the oldest expressions of reassurance and affection. Everybody has their preferred technique: Some like interlocking, others cupping or the pinky-link. Some prefer being on top, others the bottom … some swing both ways.

• “International Day of Indigenous People”, as declared by the UN. There are an estimated 370 million indigenous people in the world, living across 90 countries. The 2019 theme is “Indigenous Languages”

• “Rice Pudding Day”, celebrating the tasty treat that combines rice, milk, sugar, cinnamon, and raisins. And what’s your secret ingredient? Rum?

• “Polka Day”, celebrating the fast-paced duet dance form is said to have originated in the 1800s in Bohemia. (Really, it is possible to be sad when a polka is being played??)

• “Kool-Aid Days” begin, the annual weekend celebration of the soft drink mix originally made in Hastings, Nebraska. Edwin E. Perkins first marketed the stuff in 1927 in 6 flavors (raspberry, cherry, grape, lemon, orange, and root-beer).

SATURDAY-
• “Lazy Day”, a day to take it easy. Just another day around here. (And that’s all I could be bothered to come up with for that…)
• “S’mores Day” celebrating one of our favorite campfire treats, a toasted marshmallow sandwiched between graham crackers with piece of chocolate. The original recipe, published in Scout leader Loretta Scott Crew’s “Tramping & Trailing with the Girl Scouts” (1927), referred to the delicacy as ‘Some Mores’.
• “Smithsonian Day”, celebrating the series of Washington DC museums that form the Smithsonian Institution, basically ‘America’s Attic’. It was created on this date in 1846.
• “Spoil Your Dog Day”, like you have a choice. Just look at those big sad eyes … and those dangly wangly ears … aren’t you just the cootest little thing … er, sorry.
• “Duran Duran Appreciation Day”, created by a Michigan radio disc jockey because it coincided with his birthday (he must have been a big fan…). Fans celebrate by taking part in official trivia contests on Twitter, and an all-day party at Second Life (which does still exist, I checked!). **BS FAST FACT: Duran Duran was named after a character in the movie “Barbarella”, ‘Dr. Durand Durand’.
• “World Lion Day”, a relatively new event designed to celebrate lions globally. It is estimated that there are 20,000-35,000 lions on this planet, and fewer than 2,000 lions left in the wild in Kenya.

SUNDAY-
• “Annual Medical Check-Up Day”, a yearly reminder to take care of your health by booking a checkup appointment today. (And if you’re lucky, your Doc will be able to see you by this time NEXT year!)
• “Play In the Sand Day”, which seemed like a harmless fun activity … until some fear-monger researcher warned a couple of years back that there may be health and safety implications.
• “Son & Daughter Day”, a day to pay special tribute to offspring by giving them the gift of your time together. If they are teenagers, they’ll no doubt respond: “Yeah right … whatever.”

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [17] Elvis Presley’s daughter Lisa Marie weds actor Nicolas Cage (who played an Elvis-impersonator in 1992 s “Honeymoon in Vegas”), an ill-advised union that lasts 4 months

2015 [04] Former NFL star and long-time “Monday Night Football” sportscaster Frank Gifford dies at age 84 (husband of TV personality Kathie Lee Gifford)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1986 [33] An audience of 120,000 watches Queen play their last concert with Freddie Mercury at the Knebworth Park Festival in Hertfordshire, England (encore includes ‘We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions’ and ‘God Save the Queen’)

1995 [24] Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead dies from a heart attack at age 53

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1955 [64] 1st “Guinness Book of World Records” is published (back when the record for hot dog eating was … 1) **BS FUN FACT**: The Guinness Book of World Records holds the world record for being the book most often stolen from libraries.

2012 [07] Usain Bolt becomes the first person to win gold in the 100m and 200m events in back to back Olympics (then he did it again in 2016…)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Researchers in the field of “interruption science” have found that it takes an average of 25 minutes to recover from a phone call.
✓ Manhole covers are round so that they don’t fall into the opening.
✓ Google handles over 2 trillion searches per year. That’s about 270 searches per person on Earth.
✓ The Louvre was built in 1190 as a defense against Viking raids.
✓ The total amount of money owed by every single person and country in the world is US$199 trillion, but the world has only US$80.9 trillion in cash and bank deposits.
✓ Two men used their dead friend’s ashes as bait and caught the world’s largest carp.
-WhattheFFacts

BS MODERN DAY IDIOMS:
• A watched Insta Pot never goes on sale.
• You can’t judge a movie by its score on Rotten Tomatoes.
• To make a long Instagram story short…
• Beauty is only Snapchat filter deep.
• A DM a dozen.
• Don’t cry over spilt Triple, Venti, Half Sweet, Non-Fat, Caramel Macchiato.
• God helps those who Yelp themselves.
• It’s raining cat gifs and dogs.
• That’s the last plastic straw!
• You can lead a girl to Starbucks, but you can’t make her even.
-Twitter

BS RUIN A PICNIC WITH ONE QUESTION:
• Has anyone seen my fingernail?
• Why is the rice crawling?
• Do you have any gluten free, low salt, no carb snacks? I’m doing a cleanse.
• So, who’s watched the Human Centipede trilogy?
• Who’s up for tripe?
• Who the hell invited her?
• Would you like to hear my definitive ranking of every family member at this reunion in order of hotness?
• Does this meat smell OK to you?
• Who put the bait next to the noodles?
• Do we really have to do this outside?
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS RANDOM JOKE:
On weekends, my coffee is recreational, as opposed to weekdays, when it’s medicinal.

PHONE STARTER:
What is one mystery that you would like the answer to?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:   14% of kids say they want to do THIS for a living when they grow up — and it can be a dangerous job. What is it?
Answer:  A Zookeeper

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you think you have it tough, read history books.