The Bull Sheet

August 24 2018

Friday, August 24, 2018 – Edition: #6279

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ TV executive producer Chuck Lorre has announced that “The Big Bang Theory” — long one of the most popular shows on television, with over 50 Emmy nominations, including ten wins — is coming to an end after next season, which will be the sitcom’s 12th. The spin-off series “Young Sheldon” is expected to continue.
-Yahoo
★ Oprah Winfrey is launching her own brand of frozen pizzas. The media mogul is expanding her ‘O, That’s Good!’ food range from grocery-store refrigerated soups and side dishes to the freezer section and is starting off with pizzas with a crust that is one-third cauliflower. There are four different types in the range, Five Cheese, Uncured Pepperoni, Supreme and Fire Roasted Veggie, and the 11-inch dishes will each serve five people.
(One pizza serves five people?  Who is she feeding?  Supermodels?)
-ContactMusic
★ The government of Singapore claims that the author of the book that inspired the hit film “Crazy Rich Asians” failed to register for national service as required. According to his bio, writer Kevin Kwan was born in Singapore and left for the U.S. when he was 11.  In most cases, Male Singaporean citizens are required to spend two years in a uniformed service as young adults.  A statement from the Ministry of Defence says: “Mr. Kwan has committed offences under the Enlistment Act, and is liable to a fine of up to $10,000 and/or imprisonment of up to 3 years upon conviction.”
-Canoe
★ Another reboot! The latest one is a “Veronica Mars” update. Streaming service Hulu is apparently in talks with Warner Bros. to bring back the mystery drama cult favorite. And, yes, Kristen Bell, the original Veronica, is on board to reprise her role as Neptune Detective Agency’s number one super sleuth.
(Remember 10 years ago when they only time you heard the word ‘reboot’ was right after you swore at your computer?)
-Cosmopolitan
★ Gillian Anderson is reportedly in talks to join the Netflix show “The Crown”, playing an iconic historical figure who was thought to have a complicated relationship with the Queen. Yes, we’re talking about Margaret Thatcher herself.  Anderson is currently being considered for the role, with a source saying: “Gillian is an excellent actress, so it would be a real coup to get her.” It is thought that Anderson would make her first appearance in the show as a leader of the Condervative Party, before becoming the first female Prime Minister of the UK.
-MSN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jonah Hill, Bo Burnham, Jim James ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jamie Foxx, Taron Egerton, Zoey Deutch, Mark Norman ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, Dominic Cooper, Beck ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Andy Cohen, Jacob Soboroff, Rebecca Makkai, Nate Smith ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Bob Odenkirk, Sarah Silverman ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sting & Shaggy, Dr. Whitney Bowe ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Josh Groban ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jon Hamm, Brian Tyree Henry, Dylan Minnette, Patrick Reed
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kym Douglas, Jennifer Garner ( R )
• “NFL Preseason Football” (CBS): Detroit Lions at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
• “SafeWord” (MTV): Season 2 premiere. Michael B. Jordan and Steelo Brim lead teams in savage games and challenges where the loser faces the Lie Detector.

SATURDAY-
• “Season for Love” (HALLMARK):  When a talented chef returns to her Texas hometown, she ends up entering the town’s BBQ cookoff and gets more than she bargained for when the surprise judge turns out to be her high school love.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Live Quarter Finals

SUNDAY-
• “America to Me” (STARZ):  Documentary.  A 10-part series that spends a school year with a handful of black students—and their parents and teachers—at a large and diverse high school near Chicago.
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Vanilla Ice and family vs. Kim Fields and family; and Ice-T, Coco and family vs. Vivica A. Fox and family.
• “Sunday Night Football” (NBC): Arizona Cardinals at Dallas Cowboys

BS MUSIC NOTES:
Post Malone — sent an emotional group WhatsApp message to say goodbye to his loved ones during his mid-air plane scare. On Tuesday, he was among the 16 passengers aboard a plane which took off from New Jersey, when two tires exploded, forcing an emergency landing near New York City. Malone says: “We were just stuck in the air for so long not knowing. I just put everybody in a big group text to tell them I love them, just in case.”
• Pink – Paused a concert in Brisbane Tuesday to give a fan a hug.  A 14-year-old attended the show, carrying a sign which read, “My name is Leah…I lost my beautiful Mum last month. I would LOVE a hug… Please!”. Fans around Leah and her family grabbed the signs and helped get Pink’s attention – and it certainly worked.
• Nicki Minaj — is postponing her North American tour amid rumors of terrible ticket sales. Sources say her Baltimore show only sold 2,000 tickets when capacity for the venue was roughly 20,000. Even in her hometown of Brooklyn she is said to have only sold 5,000 tickets.
• Robin Thicke – has announced he’s expecting his second child with girlfriend April Love Geary – just six months after the pair welcomed baby girl Mia. The newest Thicke will be Robin’s third child.  He has eight year-old Julian Thicke with his former wife Paula Patton.
• Mick Jagger — A lost duet he did with Carly Simon has been found more than 45 years after it was recorded. The song, apparently never heard in public, was found on a tape owned by a Rolling Stones collector.  Believed to be named ‘Fragile’, the song is a ballad that has Jagger and Simon seemingly sitting together at a piano and singing.
• Lynyrd Skynyrd — is being sued by a photographer.  Larry Philpot says the group used his photo of Jerry Lee Lewis without permission.  He claims Skynyrd used Lewis’ image in the first 22 performances of its current farewell tour as part of a video montage.
• Judas Priest — Singer Rob Halford says the band might be looking for a new guitarist after the conclusion of their current tour.  He says that Andy Sneap — who has filled in for Tipton in the wake of Tipton’s diagnosis of Parkinson’s Disease — might return to his previous career of producing records.
• Gretchen Wilson — was arrested Tuesday night at a Connecticut airport after she caused a “minor disturbance” on a flight and became “belligerent” toward troopers, according to police.  She was taken into custody and charged with breach of peace. Bail was set at $1,000.
• Dustin Lynch — More than six years after making his Grand Ole Opry debut, he was invited to join the esteemed organization during Tuesday’s Opry showcase.  He received the surprise invite from Trace Adkins, who was celebrating his 15th anniversary as an Opry member.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Happytime Murders” (R-Rated, Action/Comedy):  When the puppet cast of an ’80s children’s TV show begin to get murdered one by one, a disgraced LAPD detective-turned-private eye puppet takes on the case. (Melissa McCarthy, Elizabeth Banks, Maya Rudolph)
• “A.X.L.” (PG, Action/Adventure):  A.X.L. is a top-secret, robotic dog who develops a special friendship with Miles and will go to any length to protect his new companion. (Thomas Jane, Becky G)
• “Searching” (PG-13, Mystery/Suspense):  After his 16-year-old daughter goes missing, a desperate father breaks into her laptop to look for clues to find her. (John Cho, Debra Messing)
• “Papillion” (R-Rated, Drama):  A prisoner detained on a remote island plots his escape in this adaptation of the novel by Henri Charrière. (Rami Malek, Charlie Hunnam)
• “Support the Girls” (R-Rated, Comedy):  The general manager at a highway-side ”sports bar with curves” has her incurable optimism and faith — in her girls, her customers, and herself, tested over the course of a long, strange day. (Regina Hall, Haley Lu Richardson)
• “The Bookshop” (PG, Drama):  England 1959. In a small East Anglian town, Florence Green decides, against polite but ruthless local opposition, to open a bookshop. (Emily Mortimer, Bill Nighy)

EVERYTHING MUST GO:
A Cape Breton, Nova Scotia man says he wants to “live simply,” so he is selling his house and  everything in it to the highest bidder.  For a minimum bid of $200,000, Michael Bowden will give you everything he owns.  Everything except his cat and maybe a few changes of clothes.  What’s the catch?  Not much, except the winner of his ‘Live simply so others can simply live’ sale is that the winner takes it all – sight unseen.  He posted a video and a few pictures with his announcement on Facebook, but beyond that it is buyer beware.  But it looks like a pretty decent place, which he says recently had a $30,000 basement renovation.  Bowden says when his father recently died it made him take stock of his life, and he wants to simplify his life and give someone else everything they need to get started.  The sale includes two cars and yes, EVERYTHING in the house.  No bids yet, but his listing has over 25,000 views.  What will he do after he sells everything?  He’s not sure, but he wants to give back to his community and pursue the path that makes him happy.  Until he figures out what that is, he plans to live with his sister.
(Where his every third sentence will begin with: “Can I borrow your…”)
(I work in radio.  I’ve done that every 2 years since I was 20!)
(A $30,000 basement reno?  Someone had college students!)
-TorontoStar, CTV

HOTEL AMENITIES THAT ARE DISAPPEARING:
→ Full Housekeeping:  Because of environmental concerns and as a result of a strong labour market and immigration concerns, daily housekeeping is being scaled back in many hotels.  Automated maids are also on the horizon.  (Will automated maids still have carts in the hallway for me to steal pens from?)
→ Plastic Bottles:  Yup, the little shampoo bottles that you like to take with you will be phased out as hotels make the move to wall mounted cannisters to reduce the use of plastic.  Also on the way out: water bottles, to be replaced by ‘water vessels’.  (I guess that’s OK, as long as I don’t have to drink from the bathroom faucet at 3 in the morning!)
→ Mini-bars:  And not just the booze…the little selection of grossly overpriced snacks could be on the way out as well.  Many hotels are dropping these in favor of mini-fridges for guests to bring their own drinks and snacks.  (It’s about time we figured that out!)
→ Pay-per-view Movies:  With Netflix, Hulu, and free tube sites, revenue from pay-per-view movies has plummeted.  (And that way you don’t have to touch the hotel room remote, either!)
→ Phones:  They were once a huge source of revenue for hotels.  Cellphones have effectively eliminated the need for in-room phones, and many hotels have replaced them with tablets that allow guests to not only contact guest services, but to make emergency calls if need be.  (Remember when it cost you almost as much as a 1-900 number just to get a line out?)
→ Room Service:  People no longer want to pay a 25% surcharge to have food delivered to their room (plus a tip).  That’s on top of the already exorbitantly high prices on the hotel restaurant menu.  They’d much rather come down to the lobby, and pick something up, or just order a pizza.  (Unless they can expense it…)
→ Closets and dressers(!!):  Hotels catering to overnight business travellers or weekend leisure travellers have found that large spaces to unpack have become unnecessary. Large closets and dressers are being replaced by nooks with coat hooks. And no ironing boards, either.
(OK, but now I have no idea where they’re going to put the TV…)
-GlobeandMail

BS CHRONOMETER 08.24.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [73] Vince McMahon, Pinehurst NC, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment since 1980 (originally World Wrestling Federation)

1960 [58] Cal Ripkin Jr., Havre De Grace MD, baseball player (Hall of Fame shortstop and third baseman who played his entire 21-year career with the Baltimore Orioles/MLB record for most consecutive games played with 2,632)

1965 [53] Marlee Matlin, Morton Grove IL, movie actress (deaf actress who won an Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in the 1986 film “Children of a Lesser God”)

1973 [45] Dave Chappelle, Washington DC, comedian/TV personality (“Chappelle’s Show” 2003-05)/movie actor (“Block Party”, “Half Baked”)

1976 [42] Alex O’Loughlin, Canberra, Australia, TV actor (‘Steve McGarrett’ on “Hawaii Five-O” since 2010)

1988 [30] Rupert Grint, Watton-at-Stone UK, movie actor (‘Ron Weasley’ in the “Harry Potter” films)

SATURDAY-
Movie actor Sean Connery (“James Bond”) is 88; classic rocker Gene Simmons (“KISS”) is 69; rock singer Elvis Costello (“Pump It Up”) is 64; movie director Tim Burton (“Beetlejuice”) is 60; country singer Billy Ray Cyrus (‘Achy Breaky Heart’) is 57; cook Rachel Ray is 50; actress Blake Lively (“Gossip Girl”) is 31

SUNDAY-
Movie actress Melissa McCarthy (“Bridesmaids”) is 48; movie actor Chris Pine (“Star Trek” films) is 38; movie actor Macauly Culkin (“Home Alone”) is 38; country singer Brian Kelley (Florida Georgia Line) is 33

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Peach Pie Day”, honoring the seasonal dessert made from flour, sugar, butter, and freshly-picked juicy peaches. Yummers! (Wed. was “Eat a Peach Day”.  If you like peaches, this is your week!)

• “Waffle Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the invention of the ‘Waffle Iron’ by Cornelius Swartwout of Troy NY on this day in 1869. Other inventions attributed to today’s date include ‘Potato Chips’ (Chef George Crum, Saratoga Springs NY in 1853) and the ‘Motion Picture Camera’ (Thomas Edison in Menlo Park NJ, 1891). It’s no wonder August is tagged “National Inventors’ Month”.

• “Weather Complaint Day”, marking the date in 1897 when editor Charles Dudley Warner of the “Hartford Courant” published the quip, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” Which weather cliché is the worst?

• “Knife Day”, a day to celebrate the ancient tool that has survived as long as man has—evolving from stone and obsidian to carbon and stainless steels.

• “Strange Music Day”, created by Patrick Grant, a New York City musician. The premise is simple: to get people to play and listen to types of music they have never experienced before. The ‘strange’ part can mean either unfamiliar or bizarre – the choice is entirely yours.

SATURDAY-
• “Banana Split Day”, saluting the ooey-gooey sundae concoction that’s served in a ‘boat’.

• “Kiss-and-Make-Up Day”, a day to make amends in relationships that have deteriorated. Let’s see, there’s that ornery cab driver, that rip-off auto mechanic, the boss … (And is it a coincidence that ‘Kiss and Make-Up Day’ falls on Gene Simmons’ birthday?)

• “Secondhand Wardrobe Day”, celebrating the joys of shopping consignment shops, thrift stores, and anywhere else a clothing bargain can be had.

• “Whiskey Sour Day”, a salute to the mixed drink containing whiskey, lemon juice, and sugar. Whiskey sours are shaken, then served either straight up or over ice, traditionally garnished with half an orange slice and a maraschino cherry. Yes, please!

SUNDAY-
• “Dog Appreciation Day”, to encourage support, rescue, and help for dogs in need.

• “Make Your Own Luck Day”, a day to take affirmative action to gain control of your life. Taking responsibility for your own actions … what a concept!

• “National Cherry Popsicle Day”, the kind moms love ‘cause the stains DON’T come out!

• “Toilet Paper Day”, and the age-old question remains…over or under?


THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

2014 [04] Richard Attenborough, English actor (“Jurassic World”), director (“A Bridge Too Far”), and producer (“Gandhi”), dies in London at age 90

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1981 [37] Mark David Chapman is sentenced in NYC to serve 20 years-to-life in prison for the assassination of music icon John Lennon (his parole attempts have repeatedly been denied)

2008 [10] Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page perform the Led Zeppelin classic “Whole Lotta Love” during the closing ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics at Birds Nest Stadium

2010 [08] “Teenage Dream”, Katy Perry’s 2nd major-label album, is released

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2006 [12] A meeting of 424 astronomers demotes the former planet Pluto to ‘dwarf planet status’ (it had been designated a planet since its discovery in 1930)

2011 [07] Tim Cook becomes Apple CEO after Steve Jobs resigns due to health issues (Jobs later dies at age 56 from pancreatic cancer)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2002 [16] Petri Valta of Finland outdistances 90 other contestants from 7 countries by hurling a Nokia 5510 cellphone 219 feet to set a new world record at the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships in Savonlinna, Finland

2012 [06] After his decision not to contest charges of doping, US cyclist Lance Armstrong learns he’s to be stripped of his record 7 Tour de France titles and banned from racing for life

2017 [01] Largest-ever lottery win in the US – $758.7m won by Mavis Wanczyk of Massachusetts in US Powerball Jackpot

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Wearing headphones for an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700%.
✓ In every episode of “Seinfeld” there is a Superman somewhere.
✓ If you add together all the numbers on a roulette wheel, you’d get 666.
✓ Bananas are slightly radioactive.
✓ Rats and horses can’t vomit.
✓ A pregnant goldfish is called a ‘twit’.
-TheFactSite

BS BAD TIMES TO SAY “SURE”:
When someone asks if you’d like to see pictures of their vacation.
When a stranger asks if you need a ride home.
• When a cop asks if you’ve been drinking.
• When someone asks if they can see your browser history.
• When she says “Do you love me, honey?”
• When someone uses the words ‘help’, ‘me’ and ‘move’ in the same sentence.
• When anybody, anywhere, asks you to hold their beer.
• When someone asks you a question and you have no idea what they said.
• When someone asks you to look at their rash.
• When someone tells you not to call them Shirley.
-Twitter

BS ANIMATED RAPPERS:
• The Real Slim Shaggy
• The Notorious Porky P.I.G.
• Wil Easy E Coyote
• Jessica Rap-it
• Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Simpson
• A Tribe Called Johnny Quest
• Scoob Dog
• Thugs Bunny
• Will.I.Yam.What.I.Yam
• 2 Live Pooh
-Twitter

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve bought online … while drunk?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you see someone crying, never ask if it’s because of their haircut.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  If they could, almost 1 in 4 women would change THIS about their mother.  What?
Answer:  Her hair

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Just remember – You can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake.

 

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