The Bull Sheet

August 30 2018

Thursday, August 30, 2018 – Edition: #6283

100% Grade A Bull!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “Bull Sheet” on Monday Sept 3, the Labour Day holiday. The Bull Sheet will resume on Tuesday, September 4th.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Matthew Perry was once so “high out of his mind” that he superglued his hands to his legs in a crazed effort to stop moving. That’s the latest revelation from Perry’s longtime friend, Kayti Edwards, who spoke in an exclusive interview about what the former “Friends” star was like in the height of his drug addiction. Edwards says she was forced to rip his skin off to free Perry, who has been very candid about his drug addiction. The 49-year-old went to rehab twice, and while he has seemingly stayed sober since his last rehab stint in 2001, no one has known the extent of Perry’s drug abuse — until now.
-RadarOnline
★ Eddie Murphy is about to become a father for the tenth time! 57 year-old Murphy and his significant other, 39 year-old Paige Butcher, are expecting their second baby together, but as fans know already, he has eight more children from previous relationships. The newest addition to the big family is due in December.
(Like his classic line as Donkey in Shrek goes:  “Wow! Let’s do it again!”)
-CelebrityInsider
★ Alec Baldwin has reportedly been cast as Bruce Wayne’s father Thomas in Todd Phillips’ upcoming Joker origins movie. Baldwin joins an all-star cast that includes Joaquin Phoenix in the title role, Robert De Niro, Frances Conroy, Marc Maron, and Zazie Beetz. Production is set to begin next month and the film is set to be released in October, 2019.
Canoe
★ Kate Winslet will reportedly be welcoming movie cameras into her house for her next film.  Winslet has always been guarded about her family life, but she has decided to break with tradition by opening the doors of her US $4.25 million house in Sussex, South-East England, for her new movie “Blackbird”. The movie is a remake of the Danish drama “Silent Heart”, which tells the story of a family who are gathered together to say farewell to a dying woman.
-ContactMusic
★ A hand-drawn sketch of Donald Duck by Walt Disney is set to be auctioned off in Los Angeles today. The rare item – which also features Disney’s signature – is to be sold by Nate D. Sanders Auctions with bidding starting at $7,900. Auction Manager Michael Kirk said: ”It’s rare to find a Donald Duck illustration hand drawn and signed by Walt Disney himself.”
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sean “Diddy” Combs, Betty Gilpin, Johnnyswim, Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Michael Che, Colin Jost, Henry Golding, Justin Thomas, Dusty Slay (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Dwayne Johnson, Alessia Cara (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Spike Lee, Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Rhea Seehorn (R)
• “The Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): David Spade, Simon Pegg, Now United (R)
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Patton Oswalt, Guy Branum, Punch Brothers
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Stephen Colbert (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Nancy Grace, Dan Abrams (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Marie Osmond, Jason Lewis (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Dwayne Johnson, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Caroline Rhea, the Vamps
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, Joey Fatone, JC Chasez, Chris Kirkpatrick (R)
•”The Gong Show” (ABC): The Season 2 finale features celebrity judges Ken Jeong, Chelsea Peretti, Adam Devine
• “Big Brother 20” (CBS): Following a live vote, a Houseguest is evicted and interviewed by host Julie Chen.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
Ed Sheeran — has married his longtime girlfriend, Cherry Seaborn, according to a news report. Sheeran was chatting with a reporter when he let slip the big reveal, explaining that it wasn’t hard to keep the nuptials a secret.  He didn’t offer up any details about when and where the wedding took place.   (Just like he said earlier this year…we won’t find out about it until after it happens!)
• Pink — Her husband, Carey Hart, took to Instagram to share a photo of the couple’s 1-year-old son, Jameson, covered in a scary rash. The caption:  “Wanna know how glamorous tour can be? Jameson has hand, foot, and mouth; and Willow has a 102 temp. Both kids laid up and mama @pink still has to push through and do shows.”
• Christina Aguilera – says she was ”hurt” when she was pitted against Britney Spears and portrayed as the ”bad girl” early in their careers. Quote: “It’s hard to hear yourself being called names.  I remember being hurt by these commercials on MTV… It’s like, if I’m going to be demure and innocent, that’s OK. But if I’m going to just be myself, I’m trouble.”
• Pearl Jam — Mike McCready and Stone Gossard, plus Stone Temple Pilots and Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park are among the artists who’ll take part in a live radio broadcast to raise awareness of mental health issues. “I’m Listening” will be aired on Sept. 9, marking National Suicide Prevention Week.  Details here:  http://www.imlistening.org/
• Neil Young – numerous outlets are reporting that he and Daryl Hannah are newlyweds.  The 57 year-old actress and 72 year-old rocker have been dating for four years, and apparently tied the knot at a ‘shindig’ in California over the weekend.
• Metallica — used the “time marches on” line from their classic song ‘For Whom the Bell Tolls’ to announce a line of watches created in partnership with the Nixon brand. There are eight standard models plus a ninth, limited-edition piece, with prices ranging from $125 to $750. The watches go on sale on Nov. 5.
• Paul Simon – What are his plans after his farewell show in NYC Sept 22?  “I’d like to see the planet.  I think to myself, ‘Do I want to spend the next three years making an album or would I rather go to India?’ I’ve traveled a lot but there’s a bunch of places I haven’t been, the South Pacific Islands, Cambodia. At the end of my life, if I’m fortunate enough to have a graceful non-painful ending, I’d rather say I had a great life than I had a great career.”
• Garth Brooks – will play the first-ever concert at the University of Notre Dame football stadium on Oct. 20.  The concert was announced in July but the date wasn’t decided until the football team finalized its schedule.
• Chris Stapleton – leads the pack with five 2018 CMA Nominations.  Jason Aldean, Dierks Bentley, Miranda Lambert and Keith Urban all have three.  Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood will co-host the Awards November 14 from Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena.

A JANUARY – DECEMBER ROMANCE:
A new study looking into online dating and the “desirability” of online users has come up with an interesting…if a bit depressing conclusion.  Researchers ranked the desirability of 20,000 male and female online dating candidates, based on how many messages each received over a one-month period on a “popular, free online-dating service”.  Here is what they found:  Men’s sexual desirability peaks at age 50, while women’s starts high at 18 and falls from there.  An earlier similar study found that as a man gets older, he searches for relatively younger and younger women, while his upper acceptable age limit hovers just above his own age.  Elizabeth Bruch, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Michigan and an author of the new study, says that the vastly divergent ages of “peak desirability” between men and women could be partly based on evolution.  Women could be searching for men with earning potential, hence their interest in…uh…more mature men, while men could be searching for fertility in a potential mate, which would explain his interest in younger woman.
(That’s his story, and he’s sticking to it!)
(And that’s the news from the department of creepy!)
(And you have to remember too that if his profile says he’s 50, you’re lucky if he’s under 60!)
-NationalPost

SOMETHING TO CROW ABOUT:
Theme park owners in France have trained crows to keep the place clean by picking up garbage.  “Puy du Fou”, a historical theme park in the Loire region about four hours from Paris, has six crows on staff, who keep themselves busy picking up cigarette butts and bits of trash and dumping them in a special bin.  The crows are part of an educational campaign to prompt the ecologically-minded to take their rubbish with them.  Each morning, the crows and a set of wooden boxes are brought to the historical theme park’s entrance so visitors can see the feathered creatures in action.  Each box has two compartments, and when a crow deposits a piece of paper or trash in a slot, a drawer is opened to reveal an edible treat.
(If crows can be trained to pick up garbage, you’d think that people could!)
(Which is great – until the unions hear about it!)
(And it’s also the bird’s clever way of making sure that no one around there ‘eats crow!’)
-NYTimes

BEAUTYS, EH?
The British Council (which promotes the English language around the world) commissioned a survey to identify the 70 most beautiful words in the English language.  The survey was given to more than 40,000 people in 102 non-English speaking countries (though many understood the language).  Here are the top 10:

1. Mother
2. Passion
3. Smile
4. Love
5. Eternity
6. Fantastic
7. Destiny
8. Freedom
9. Liberty
10. Tranquility
Some others that made the list:  gazebo, smithereens, coconut, and hippopotamus.
(Rookies.  I don’t see ‘bacon’ here anywhere…)
-Curiosity

PERMANENT VACATION:
You might think that with the end of August, it is the end of vacation season, but try these tips to feel like you are on vacation all year long:
❑ Make sleep a priority:  You not only look better when you are well-rested, you perform better.  (But if it were possible to get enough sleep during a normal work week, it wouldn’t be such a treat to sleep in when I’m off!)
❑ Get moving:  Exercise is one of the most effective ways to lower stress, and it’s inexpensive and healthy for you. (Which would you like me to do?  Sleep? Or exercise?)
❑ Eat mindfully:  On vacation, we enjoy long drawn-out restaurant meals with loved ones; in real life, we scarf down processed foods in the car on the way to and from work.  Stress leads to poor food choices.  (I’m guessing the phrase “I think I’ll have another burger” is NOT an example of eating mindfully?)
❑ Find a restorative practice:  It’s when you go “Ahhhhh.”  It could be quiet time with a good book, breathing exercises or meditation.  (I go “Ahhhhh” when the boss walks out of the room…)
❑ Make “No” your default answer:  There are so many overextended people. We have to be very intentional about what our priorities are and create boundaries around what’s really meaningful. (I tried that…and now I’m on vacation year-round!)
-BestHealthMag (first published in BS in 2017)

BS CHRONOMETER 08.30.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1930 [88] Warren Buffett, Omaha NE, investor/Chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway/one of the richest people in the world with $84.3 billion as of August 2018/philanthropist who’s announced he’ll leave 85% of his fortune to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation

1948 [70] Lewis Black, Silver Spring MD, standup comedian/TV comedian (“The Daily Show” 1996-present)

1963 [55] Michael Chiklis, Lowell MA, movie actor (“Rise of the Silver Surfer”, “Fantastic Four”)/TV actor (“No Ordinary Family” 2010-11, “The Shield” 2002-08)

1972 [46] Cameron Diaz, San Diego CA, movie actress (“There’s Something About Mary”, “Shrek” movies)

1989 [29] Bebe Rexha, Brooklyn NY, singer (w/ Florida Georgia Line -‘Meant to Be’, w/G-Easy -‘Me, Myself and I’)


TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Holistic Pet Day”, initiated by the Animal Miracle Foundation to encourage pet owners to develop a healthy lifestyle for their pets through diet, exercise, and environment.

• “International Day of the Disappeared”, to draw attention to the fate of individuals imprisoned under poor conditions and at places unknown to their relatives and/or legal representatives.

• “Frankenstein Day”, honoring Mary Wollenstone Shelley, the author of “Frankenstein”. Shelley was born on this day in 1797. The novel “Frankenstein” was first published anonymously in 1818.

• “Beach Day”, celebrating everything BEACH…parties, family, friends, great food, photography, beach must-haves and most importantly, encouraging clean-up of beaches worldwide today to help save the lives of sea birds & ocean mammals.

• “Slinky Day”, the Slinky was originally designed and sold in the 1940s. The inventor had accidentally knocked a spring off the shelf, and watched it ‘walk’ down a series of books, to a tabletop, and then to the floor where it neatly coiled itself. (After all that, there really wasn’t much left to invent, was there?)

• “Toasted Marshmallow Day”, celebrating that great Summer treat on a stick. So how do you like yours done? NET: http://tinyurl.com/96vycjb

BS WHAT YOUR TOASTED MARSHMALLOW SAYS ABOUT YOU:
❑ Perfectly Browned On All Sides – You are an anal-retentive perfectionist, a nit-picker who will devote unreasonable amounts of time to ensure that every project is done ‘just so’.
❑  Blackened – You are a creative and high-strung latent pyromaniac who is seldom punctual, easily distracted, and has difficulty paying attention to detail.
❑  Crusty Outside, Gooey Inside – You are an overly-sensitive individual who detests any form of criticism and has trouble expressing innermost feelings. Rather than facing problems head-on, you waste time brooding about them.
❑  Slightly Tanned On One Side – You are a shy introvert who tends to underestimate the effort and time required to accomplish a task. You have an unreasonable fear of everyday things … fire, for instance.
❑  Raw – You are a lusty and likely overweight thrill-seeker who refuses to even consider the concept of delayed gratification. Rather than plan ahead, you want immediate satisfaction.

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Trail Mix Day
[Fri] Eat Outside Day
[Sat] Bacon Day
[Sat] Franchise Appreciation Day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2014 [04] Kate Bush follows her stage comeback in Britain by becoming the first woman to have 8 albums in the UK charts at the same time (the result of a 22-date concert stand, her 1st shows in 35 years)

2015 [03] Kanye West announces he will run for President in 2020 at the MTV Video Music Awards

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [19] Oklahoma State University introduces ‘Super Fan-nies’, disposable diapers adorned with the football team’s logo

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1988 [30] Vicki Keith of Kingston, Ontario becomes 1st swimmer to conquer all 5 of North America’s Great Lakes

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ A week’s worth of the New York Times contains more information than the average 17th-century citizen encountered in a lifetime.
✓ In 1999, the founders of Google tried to sell it to Excite for just US$1 million. Excite turned them down.
✓ Adults spend more time each morning checking emails and using the internet than eating breakfast, according to a study.
✓ When taking a photo, Chinese people often say their word for “eggplant” instead of saying “cheese.”
✓ There’s high-speed Internet on the way up to Mount Everest.
✓  When Montenegro became independent from Yugoslavia, its Internet domain name went from .yu to .me.
-FactSlides

BS THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO NEWLYWEDS:
• Sorry I missed your wedding, I’ll catch the next one.
• Wow, you both look so similar! Are you sure you’re not related?
• You may now kiss the bride. Everyone else has.
• When’s the baby due?
• I guarantee you that eventually just his breathing will send you over the edge.
• Did they ever solve your last wife’s disappearance?
• Enjoy the honeymoon. After that, say goodbye to your sex life.
• Why was she wearing white?
• Call me when it’s over
• Congratulations?
-Twitter

BS WAYS TO MAKE SCHOOL MORE APPEALING TO TEENS:
• In biology class, dissect the least popular student.
• Automatic ‘A’ in Spanish if you’ve ever eaten at Taco Bell.
• Every day at 2 pm … school-wide booty call.
• When handing out condoms, throw in a free motel room.
• Give 10 points extra credit for each body piercing.
• New curriculum: Reading, Writing, and Wrecking Stuff.
• Pass a test, win a dirt bike!
-First published in BS in 2013

REAL TIPS FROM 2ND GRADERS FOR KIDS ENTERING GRADE 1:
✓ “Don’t burp out loud.”
✓ “Try to put your capital letters in the right place.”
✓ “Keep your desk clean.”
✓ “If there’s a kindergartner sitting on the bus near you, don’t make fun of them.”
✓ “Try not to throw up in class.”
✓ “Don’t put down ‘little’ kids.”
– “Indianapolis Star & News”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’d say your worst trait is that you always think I’m judging you.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s a sure sign that Fall is on the way? Crickets chirping, frogs croaking, kids whining …

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  In a survey of school kids, what was their favorite part of summer?
Answer: Sleeping in

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you don’t go out on the limb… how are you going to get the good apple?

 

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