Monday, August 8, 2022 – Edition: #7284
When You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them with Bull!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull is back! All Bull Sheet subscribers have received account credits for non-service days during our summer vacation.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson announced their split over the weekend after 9 months of dating. Reportedly, the main reason for the breakup is their age difference. A source told Page Six: “Pete is 28 and Kim is 41…Pete is totally spontaneous and impulsive and wants her to fly to New York, or wherever…on a moment’s notice. But Kim has 4 kids and it isn’t that easy.” While Davidson is certainly busy as an actor/comedian, Kardashian has a lot of responsibilities in addition to motherhood, like her TV show and several businesses. According to the insider, Kim K was “totally exhausted by this relationship and other things going on in her life.”
(And Pete went and got tattoos of Kimmy and her kids’ initials a few months ago. Oh, well – it’s not like he hasn’t had ink removed before!)
-Elle
★ Anne Heche is in stable condition and expected to survive following the fiery accident that left her severely burned Friday. A rep for the 53-year-old said: “Her family and friends ask for your thoughts and prayers and to respect her privacy during this difficult time.” That came a day after the “Six Days Seven Nights” actress crashed her blue Mini Cooper into several buildings before it caught fire. Video obtained by TMZ shows the movie star *quote* “driving like a maniac” down a residential LA street before crashing into a parking garage. Bystanders tried to help her out of her vehicle, but she reportedly backed up and drove off before crashing into another home, triggering an explosion and an engulfing fire.
-PageSix
★ News that James Franco is set to play former Cuban president Fidel Castro in an upcoming film has some in Hollywood riled up, and not because of his sexual misconduct allegations. Veteran actor John Leguizamo posted the news, writing, “How is this still going on? How is Hollywood excluding us but stealing our narratives as well? No more appropriation Hollywood and streamers!” The “Moulin Rouge!” star, who was born in Colombia, added: I don’t got a prob with Franco but he ain’t Latino.” Newly appointed “The View” co-host Ana Navarro commented, saying “no Latino actor worth their salt would sign up to play and aggrandize a murderous dictator who terrorized the people of Cuba for 6 decades.” “Alina of Cuba” also stars Ana Villafañe as Castro’s daughter, Alina Fernandez, and follows the true story of her Cuban exile. It is one of Franco’s first major casting announcements since he was swept up in the #MeToo movement in 2018.
-Yahoo
★ Kevin Smith is buying the movie theater that made him fall in love with filmmaking. The 52-year-old New Jersey native is purchasing the Atlantic Moviehouse in Atlantic Highlands, where his father brought him as a child, sometimes allowing him to cut school. The filmmaker, who announced the news on Instagram, is expected to close the deal on the property, which he will co-own with his wife, Jennifer Schwalbach Smith and other business partners, on Sept. 14. Plans include renovating the 250-seat interior of the theater, and erecting a mural in the lobby featuring characters from his movies such as “Clerks” and “Mallrats”, which were set in New Jersey. Smith also intends to live in the apartment above the theater, a twist on his childhood dream of living in a movie theater.
-NYPost
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kumail Nanjiani, Charlotte Nicdao, Trombone Shorty, guest host Rob McElhenney
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Idris Elba, Aubrey Plaza, Sofia Carson, Lauren Spencer-Smith
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mindy Kaling, Sen. Chris Murphy, Joe Walsh
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Mariska Hargitay, Christopher Meloni, Rachel Dratch, Brooke Colucci (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ray Romano, Brooklyn Decker, Joy Downer (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Natasha Webb, Jason Gaskell
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Meredith Vieira, Star Jones, Debbie Matenopoulos, guest co-host Tara Setmayer (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Shemar Moore, DJ Ms. Nix (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): William Jackson Harper, Monica Mangin, guest co-host Katie Lowes
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Laura Dern, Ryan Seacrest, Walker Scobell (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jeff Goldblum, DeWanda Wise, Mamoudou Athie, Brad Meltzer (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Paris Hilton, Kathy Hilton, Joshua Weissman (R)
• “The Bachelorette” (ABC): Gabby, Rachel and the 14 remaining men continue their journey across Europe; Logan confesses his feelings; Rachel makes a shocking choice that affects all her remaining men.
• “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” (Fox): A mother of two and a sassy server channel their inner icons for a shot at $1 million.
• “Better Call Saul” (AMC): The stakes are raised when a discovery is made.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Dua Lipa – has been awarded the title of Honorary Ambassador of Kosovo. She shared on IG: “It’s an honour and a privilege to be able to represent my country all over the world and to continue my…efforts globally to see that we leave our mark and make a difference.” She also posted pics showing her accepting the title from Madame President Vjosa Osmani. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/54h9nc3k
• Beyoncé – While fans anxiously wait for her to drop her music video for her new single ‘Break My Soul’, she has dropped a “Cliquebait” video. The teaser was released on her YouTube channel and features her in a skimpy silver outfit, sitting on top of a horse, reminiscent of her new record’s cover. LINK: https://youtu.be/UdkJ3u_TA_U
• Whitesnake – has canceled its planned 2022 North American tour with Scorpions. Five weeks after axing the remainder of the European leg of its farewell tour, singer David Coverdale posted they were forced to drop out “due to my continued treatment for a persistent upper respiratory infection”.
• The Beatles – John Lennon’s bitter 1971 letter to Paul McCartney is up for auction. Lennon sent the typed note after McCartney complained in an interview about on-going negotiations to finally end Beatles’ business dealings. The 3-page missive is expected to go for $30,000 LINK: https://tinyurl.com/39rup9df
• The Rolling Stones — have released upscaled 4K versions of the 2 videos shot in 1968 by director Michael Lindsay-Hogg for ‘Jumpin’ Jack Flash’. One features a makeup-free band line-up, and uses a live version of the song, while the second version features the band in make-up, with Mick Jagger singing a live vocal as the group mimes. LINKS: https://youtu.be/S_ylZvdk3VU https://youtu.be/qGd7SkdETro
• Carrie Underwood – will return as the face and voice of “Sunday Night Football” on NBC for a 10th year of singing the show’s weekly opener. She shared a video featuring clips of her show openers through the years, writing: “10 years and we’re still going strong, @snfonnbc! See you Sunday nights beginning in September!” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p825f2f
• Lady A — has postponed their planned nationwide tour for a year to support bandmate Charles Kelley on his sobriety journey. On social media, the group wrote: “Being on the road with our fans is our greatest joy, so it was a hard but important decision to make. We are a band, but more importantly…we’re family. We’re proud to say that Charles has embarked on a journey to sobriety.” The “Request Line” trek was set to begin this Sat.
• John Anderson — “Something Borrowed, Something New: A Tribute to John Anderson,” was released on Friday. It features new versions Anderson’s songs, performed by Brothers Osborne, Tyler Childers, Eric Church, Luke Combs, Jamey Johnson, Ashley McBryde, John Prine and more.
SHOOTING THE BULL
TIKTALK:
A former housekeeper at a 4-star hotel has a list of things you should never touch when staying in a hotel room. TikTok user @_sourqueen detailed some slack cleaning processes, saying: “I’ve seen some things. I have some horror stories.” For starters, she says when staying at a hotel, you should never use the coffee pot or any of the glassware. Why? “Usually, the housekeeper just rinses these…in the bathroom sink, and dries them off with the same rag that they used to clean the rest of the room”. Other things to avoid, according to the video, which has been viewed more than 534,000 times:
• The ice bucket: Guests sometimes use them as “water dishes for their pets and whatnot” – or worse. She said, “I don’t even want to talk about that.”
• The bedspread: She says they are only washed once a year, unless someone has bled, puked, (or worse) on them. She suggests you take it off the bed “the minute you walk in there.”
Although @_sourqueen acknowledged not every hotel operates the same as the one she worked at, a lot of people messaged her saying they had found the same level of cleanliness where they worked. The TikToker also pointed out that she feels part of the problem is housekeepers get in trouble if they take too long cleaning a room or for sending too much laundry to be cleaned. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4ctef4md
(And don’t even get her STARTED about the TV remote!)
(We stayed at a hotel for a wedding on the weekend. I was way much more confident touching the bedspread than I was the complimentary breakfast!)
-NYPost
WARNING LIGHTS — COLLECT THE WHOLE SET:
When that dreaded warning light appears on your car’s dashboard, how long does it take until you head to the mechanic for service? If you’re a young adult, it seems you’ll wait…until you have a whole collection of them. According to a OnePoll survey of Gen Zers and millennials (born between 1991 and 2012), it takes an average of EIGHT warning lights for people to schedule vehicle maintenance. 27% said that in light of inflation and the current economic landscape, they’re OK to disregard and continue driving with a broken radio, and 26% can ignore dull wipers, excessive emissions, low tire pressure light, oil change, or scratches on their vehicle. On average, it takes 5 breakdowns for Gen Zers and millennials to buy a new car. They say they’ll eventually stop driving their car and get a new one when the upkeep surpasses their budget (39%), or when there are too many strange sounds or smells (38%) — or when too much of it is being held together by tape (37%).
(My wife’s car has a ‘low fuel’ warning light. It tells her when it’s time to drive my car for a couple days!)
(That’s the problem – when the radio’s broken, your car’s gonna make a LOT of strange sounds!)
-StudyFinds
NEW GOOD NEWS:
➢ A drought-proof weed may hold the key to feeding the world, according to new research. The common plant known as purslane, harbors important clues about how to create valuable drought-resistant crops. Yale scientists describe how it integrates 2 distinct metabolic pathways to create a novel type of photosynthesis that enables the weed to endure drought while remaining highly productive. Understanding these novel metabolic pathways could help scientists devise new ways to engineer crops such as corn to help withstand prolonged drought.
➢ Douglas Robert and Tamíris Muzini were ready for their big wedding day, but it was also the day that Tamíris would find out there was someone else. As the blushing bride arrived at the church in Brazil, she noticed a wedding crasher had come by—a stray blonde dog that was mingling gently with guests. No problem…the ceremony eventually commenced — with the dog sitting down by the doorway to watch, as if he knew what was happening. As the newly-married couple headed for the exit, the dog suddenly became excited. As the bride put it, “When he greeted us at the end, he asked: ‘Take me home.’” They decided in that very moment to make their happily ever after fit for 3. They adopted the scrawny pooch, and named it Braiá Caramelo. Braiá’s scars suggest his road to the church had not been an easy one, but that’s all behind him now. Muzini says the loving pooch “gives us hope”.
-GoodNewsNetwork
TIPS TO HELP YOU LIVE LONGER:
There’s no magic pill that can prolong your life, but there are several ways you can add years to your lifespan…
⇒ Protect your heart: This involves taking a number of steps, including eating a diet high in fruits and vegetables, and low in processed foods. Get 7-8 hours of sleep per night, and maintain a healthy body weight. Also, keep your cholesterol, blood sugar, and blood pressure in the normal range. (…I figure that if my heart survived the Monday morning alarm, it’s good to go!)
⇒ Do strength training: Lift weights or use resistance bands. Muscle strengthening exercises have been shown to reduce the risk of dying by 10-17%.
⇒ Quit smoking: You saw this coming from a mile away. This advice also includes any other use of tobacco products, and vaping.
⇒ Eat mushrooms: Mushrooms are the only dietary source of a potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory amino acid. Some scientists call mushrooms a “longevity vitamin”. (Can I smoke ‘em?)
⇒ Exercise: Aim for at least 30 minutes every day — especially if you have high blood pressure or diabetes. It will help regulate your blood pressure, and help avoid heart disease or stroke later on.
⇒ Limit animal protein: Studies have shown that by focusing on a more plant-based diet, you can increase your longevity. (It didn’t work for that cow I just ate!)
⇒ Focus on Phytonutrients: Resveratrol, found in grapes, wine, blueberries, peanuts, and cocoa, has been shown to improve life expectancy and reduce symptoms associated with aging. Quercetin, found in apples, onions, and kale, is associated with increased life expectancy, and offers benefits to the brain and fights inflammation. (Kale, though…I’m still not sure it’s worth it…)
-EatThis
DID YOU KNOW?
A French scientist has apologized after tweeting a photo of a slice of chorizo, claiming it was an image of a distant star taken by the James Webb Space Telescope. Étienne Klein, a celebrated physicist and director at France’s Alternative Energies and Atomic Energy Commission, shared the image of the spicy Spanish sausage, praising the “level of detail” it provided, considering that it is “located 4.2 light years away from us.”. After thousands retweeted and commented on his startling photo, Klein admitted the image was, in fact, a close-up of a slice of chorizo taken against a black background, and wrote: “no object related to Spanish charcuterie exists anywhere else other than on Earth.”
-CNN
BS CHRONOMETER 08.08.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “The Date to Create”, a day to brainstorm with family members and/or co-workers on ways to be more creative. (What creative genius came up with THIS??)
• “Happiness Happens Day”, since 1999, an annual day to pay someone’s toll, bus or subway fare, or to donate to a charity. It’s all a conspiracy of the ‘Secret Society of Happy People’. LINK: http://www.sohp.com
• “International Cat Day”, in recognition and veneration of one of humanity’s oldest and most beloved pets. The observance was initiated in 2002 by the International Fund for Animal Welfare to celebrate the most popular pet on the planet. (But EVERY day is cat day…just ask one!)
• “Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night”, a day to share the wealth of your vegetable garden with friends and neighbors. Uh, could you make it tomatoes instead?
• “Frozen Custard Day”, custard is similar to ice cream, but made with eggs in addition to cream and sugar. It typically contains 10% butterfat and 1.4% egg yolk. One claim traces its invention to Coney Island in 1919.
• “Odie Day”, if you’re scratching your head and wondering “What the heck’s an Odie?” well, you’re obviously not a Garfield fan. Why today? Because it’s his birthday. His first appearance in the Garfield comic strip was August 8, 1978.
• “Global Sleep Under the Stars Night”, whether it’s in the backcountry or your own backyard, one of the best ways to experience the beauty of the outdoors is to spend a night under the stars. As a bonus for those in the Northern Hemisphere, the celebration lands in the middle of the Perseid meteor showers!
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Book Lovers Day
[Tues] Rice Pudding Day
[Wed] Lazy Day
[Thurs] Son and Daughter Day
This Week is…International Assistance Dog Week
This Month is…Admit You’re Happy Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [85] Dustin Hoffman, LA CA, movie actor (2 Oscars-“Rain Man”, “Kramer vs Kramer”) COMING UP…“Sam & Kate”
1961 [61] The Edge (David Evans), Essex England, rock guitarist (U2-‘I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For’, ‘With or Without You’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2005
1973 [49] Mark Wills (Williams), Cleveland TN, country singer (‘19 Somethin’’, ‘Wish You Were Here’)
1973 [49] Scott Stapp, Goldsboro NC, rock singer (Creed-‘My Sacrifice’, ‘With Arms Wide Open’)
1976 [46] Drew Lachey, Cincinnati OH, pop singer (98 Degrees-‘I Do (Cherish You)’, ‘Because of You’)/“Dancing With the Stars” Season 2 winner/brother of Nick Lachey
1976 [46] JC Chasez, Bowie MD, pop singer (’NSYNC-‘It’s Gonna Be Me’, ‘Bye Bye Bye’)
1981 [41] Roger Federer, Basel Switzerland, pro tennis player (all-time leader in titles [103], 2nd in earnings [$131 million])/ranked world #1 for 310 weeks, including a record 237 consecutive weeks
1988 [34] Princess Beatrice, London England, British royal (daughter of Sarah, Duchess of York and Prince Andrew)/10th in line to the throne
1998 [24] Shawn Mendes, Pickering ON, pop singer (w/Camila Cabello -‘Señorita’, ‘If I Can’t Have You’)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2001 [21] Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman divorce after 10 years of marriage
2008 [14] About 1 billion people worldwide watch the opening ceremonies of the Beijing Summer Olympics, highlighted by a massive (partially faked) fireworks display.
2020 [02] Music mogul Simon Cowell breaks his back riding an electric exercise bike.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [20] UK’s Co-op Funeral Services reports that pop songs are now more popular than hymns at funerals (#1 is ‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ by Bette Midler)
2017 [05] Singer Glen Campbell dies at 81 after a battle with Alzheimer’s disease.
2020 [02] Taylor Swift becomes the first artist to debut at #1 on both the Hot 100 and US albums chart when “Folklore” and its lead single ‘Cardigan’, both go to the top. It’s her 7th consecutive #1 album.
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1898 [124] W.K. Kellogg invents corn flakes cereal.
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1988 [34] The temperature hits a high of 88°F on 8/8/88 in NYC.
2001 [21] 78-year-old Egyptian Mustafa Semeda claims he has been married 203 times, the first union happening in 1947.
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Ben & Jerry learned how to make ice cream by taking a $5 correspondence course offered by Penn State.
✓ Failed PEZ flavors include coffee, eucalyptus, menthol, and flower.
✓ When the computer mouse was invented, it was called the “X-Y Position Indicator for a Display System.”
✓ The only number whose letters are in alphabetical order is 40 (f-o-r-t-y).
✓ A Facebook analysis found that most breakups occur (or are posted) in the 2 weeks before Christmas, around Easter…and on Mondays.
✓ When the mummy of Ramses II was sent to France in the mid-1970s, it was issued a passport. Ramses’ occupation? “King (deceased).”
-MentalFloss
BS NEW SLOGANS FOR COFFEE:
• “Better latte than never”
• “It gets you going in the morning. Take that any way you like.”
• “Just brew it.”
• “Makes peopling bearable!”
• “The number one drink of people at AA meetings”
• “It’s 5 a.m. somewhere”
• “Preventing you from murdering morning people.”
• “The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee”
• “Columbia’s second-best pick-me-up”
• “Once you go black, you never go back!”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Judges Katy Perry, Luke Bryan, Lionel Richie and host Ryan Seacrest are all returning for “American Idol” Season 21. (Not returning? Audiences, probably.)
➠ Researchers say guppies are able to reproduce after they die. (Big deal. Tupac’s released 17 albums since HE died!)
➠ There’s a smartphone app that can detect if you are depressed! (Pretty simple, really — It just scans your photos to see if you have any cat pics!)
➠ Historic flooding hit the Vegas strip last weekend. (The Weather: Everyone hates it. Unless it’s nature’s way of killing off Penn Jillette. Then everyone loves it…)
➠ A paleontologist claims that despite the big feet, if Sasquatch does exist, it would have a small penis. (Well, that explains all the hiding…)
BS BONUS SCOOP:
Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson have split after 9 months of dating…
➠ …I guess they figured out that two annoyings didn’t make a not-annoying?
➠ …Their relationship became troubled when Kim realized she was dating Pete Davidson.
➠ …This is so sad! I mean, I had TEN months in the office pool!
➠ …Davidson says he’ll always have an incredibly deep affection for Kim. And so will Kim.
➠ …It’s always sad when beloved celebrities split. Which is why I’m not sad.
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
(All answers begin with the letter ‘S’…)
• In Britain, which food is typically served with jam during tea time?
a) Schnitzel
b) Scones [CORRECT]
c) Swiss Cheese
d) Spaghetti
• In New Zealand, which animal outnumbers people by a ratio of 6 to 1?
a) Sheep [CORRECT]
b) Squirrel
c) Skunk
d) Sabre-toothed tiger
• In what video games do you control a blue character to fight the mad scientist ‘Doctor Eggman’?
a) SimCity
b) StarCraft
c) Sonic the Hedgehog [CORRECT]
d) Star Wars
-WeLoveQuizzes
BS WEB GOODIE:
“Working” from home (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/22tnbd8t
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Convert your sofa into a sofa-bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most creative excuse that you’ve used to leave early or get out of work?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: A survey found that the average person does THIS about 16 times per day. What is it?
Answer: Swear
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
People who wonder if the glass is half-empty or half-full are missing the point. The glass is refillable.
