Monday, August 21, 2023 — Edition: #7537
Sheet Happens!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Britney Spears is speaking out following her split from husband Sam Asghari. She wrote on Instagram on Friday: “I’m not here to explain why because its honestly nobody’s business !!! But, I couldn’t take the pain anymore honestly!!!…I’ve been playing it strong for way too long and my Instagram may seem perfect but it’s far from reality and I think we all know that!!!” She went on to say: “I would love to show my emotions and tears on how I really feel but some reason I’ve always had to hide my weaknesses!!!” Spears concluded the post writing that she’ll be “as strong as I can and do my best !!!” (We can only hope that Sam gets some of those exclamation marks in the settlement…!)
-People
★ The reign of “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” atop the box office charts has come to an end. “Blue Beetle” opened with an estimated domestic $25 million opening weekend. Prior to release, Blue Beetle was projected to rake in $28-32 million, so even though it has overcome “Barbenheimer”, it’s a bit of a disappointment for Warner Bros. “Strays” did even worse, opening with a projected $8.5 million, for 4th place, after ‘Barb’ and ‘enheimer’.
-TheWrap
★ Jack Antonoff and Margaret Qualley are now officially husband and wife, and the newlyweds said their “I Do’s” during a star-studded affair, with Taylor Swift looking on. The couple tied the knot Saturday in Long Beach Island, New Jersey — and the celeb guest list also included Lana Del Rey, Channing Tatum, Zoe Kravitz and Cara Delevingne. Swift, Antonoff’s longtime friend and music collaboratoe, caused a stir the night before, when she showed up at the rehearsal dinner nearby, and a large group of her fans created a chaotic scene on the streets outside the venue.
-TMZ
★ Ron Cephas Jones, the Emmy-winning actor best known for playing ‘William Hill’ on “This Is Us”, has died. He was 66. A representative for the actor confirmed Jones’ death, saying his passing is due to “a long-standing pulmonary issue.” In addition to his role on This Is Us, Jones also played ‘Romero’ on “Mr. Robot”, ‘Bobby Fish’ on the show “Luke Cage”, and in recent years, starred on the Apple TV+ crime drama “Truth Be Told”. Spencer’s main character.
-People, E!
★ James Gunn is making a ‘Superman’ movie with a younger actor than former Man of Steel Henry Cavill, but that doesn’t mean he’s making a “young Superman movie” per se. The writer, director and DC Studios’ co-chief took to Threads to clarify something that many have assumed about “Superman: Legacy” and the reason he changed leads from Cavill (who is 40) to David Corenswet (who is 30). A fan asked Gunn if his “young Superman movie” is set in the past. Gunn replied: “I was never making a ‘young Superman’ movie, just a Superman movie!” Superman: Legacy is scheduled for release in 2025. HollywoodReporter
★ Tyler Perry’s attempt at acquiring BET has officially come to an end. His bid reportedly came short of Paramount’s asking price of $3 billion. According to sources, the playwright seemed the perfect choice, but he only bid $2 billion. Earlier this summer, the sale of BET, which includes VH1, BET, and the streaming service BET+, was commenced. Although the auction solicited bids from several interested parties, they all fell short of the asking price. Perry currently owns a 25% stake in BET’s streaming service.
-PopCulture
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jeremy Renner, Metallica (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Millie Bobby Brown, Michael Imperioli, Tegan and Sara (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Michelle Obama, Stromae (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Daniel Radcliffe & Weird Al Yankovic, Kerry Condon, Kurt Vile and The Violators (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jake Tapper (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Howie Mandel, Andy Grammer (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Shaun White, Maisie Peters
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Troye Sivan, Bebe Rexha (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Gabrielle Union (R)
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Christina Ricci, Ms. Pat (R)
• “The Bachelorette” (ABC): Season 20 finale
• “American Ninja Warrior” (NBC): The finals begin in Las Vegas as the remaining competitors vie for their chance to win $1 million.
• “Secrets of Prince Andrew” (A&E): The Prince is born into immense privilege, becomes a war hero and pin-up, but takes a wrong turn when he pursues a lavish lifestyle and friendship with Jeffrey Epstein.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande – has announced her plans for the 10th anniversary of her debut album “Yours Truly”. She shared a video of a vintage TV showing behind-the-scenes footage from the making of the album, a live performance she teased earlier this month, and a “Celebration Program” detailing everything she has planned, including a run of 6 live shows beginning this Friday. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y74t28a6
• Lizzo – It appears to be business as usual for her in the aftermath of the harassment lawsuit filed against her by former dancers. In her first Instagram post since then, she is seen singing and dancing her way through the streets of Japan, showing off her glam outfit and carefree attitude. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/47hncjaa
• Guns N’ Roses — released their new song ‘Perhaps’ on Friday, and performed it live for the first time that night in Pittsburgh. Axl Rose told the audience: “When we wrote this song, it was like the immaculate inception.” Illicit versions of the song have been floating around the internet for several years. LINK: https://youtu.be/qCHPBDN2Tp0
• Green Day – will drop on expanded 30th anniversary edition of “Dookie” on Sept. 29. The 4-CD or 6-LP box set will include unreleased demos and outtakes, and 2 live shows from the era, one of which is their performance at Woodstock ’94. The demo version of ‘Basket Case’ has already been released. LINK: https://youtu.be/kRalif5ibM8
• Lynyrd Skynyrd — A man has set a dubious new world record after playing ‘Free Bird’ perfectly on Guitar Hero II – at 3 times the speed of the original. Carny Jared wrote on YouTube that it was “the cumulative effort of many months” – 553 tries, to be exact. LINK: https://youtu.be/bHFFzPm0T9k
• The Beatles – Dolly Parton said of her new cover of ‘Let it Be’ featuring Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr: “Does it get any better?” And she’s not stretching things. In addition to being the closest there will ever be to a Beatles reunion, the song also features Peter Frampton on guitar and Mick Fleetwood playing percussion. LINK: https://youtu.be/dXW-p4nKdDA
• Charlie Worsham – The singer-songwriter/multi-instrumentalist has some famous friends lined up to join him on his new album “Compadres”, out Oct. 13. The 5-song collection includes duets with Dierks Bentley, Elle King, Kip Moore, Lainey Wilson and Luke Combs. Combs appears on the song ‘How I Learned to Pray’, and the video dropped Friday. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/24sa7yhd
• Bailey Zimmerman – has scored his third straight career-opening top 10 on Billboard’s Country Airplay chart, as ‘Religiously’ has hit #9. The song, with 19.1 million audience impressions, follows ‘Rock and a Hard Place’ and ‘Fall in Love’, which both hit #1.
• Sara Evans — was asked to join the Grand Ole Opry on Thursday – and said “No”. From the stage, Bill Anderson — the Opry’s longest-serving member ever — did the honors of inviting her. A full 30 seconds after he asked, Evans replied “No”. She had spent that time burying her head in her hands, dabbing away tears and smiling. Of course, she was joking. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/247cjnyv
SHOOTING THE BULL
MOTLEY CRUISE:
A series of “robots-are-dumb” incidents in San Francisco has prompted local officials to try to halt the recently-approved expansion of self-driving taxis in the city. Since the robotaxi expansion got the green light on August 10…
• 10 driverless “Cruise” taxis came to a stop and clogged an intersection near a music festival. The company said the vehicles stopped functioning because concertgoers overwhelmed cell networks, interrupting the cars’ communications.
• A person was injured when the autonomous Cruise car they were riding in failed to yield to an oncoming fire truck, which was responding to an emergency.
• Another Cruise car drove through a construction site and, just like in a cartoon, became stuck in wet concrete.
(To be fair, though, I’ve seen PEOPLE driving in (***this city***) do the exact same things!)
(HERE’S your problem: They forgot to install the driver!)
-Insider
STAND AND DELIVER (ZZZZZZZZs….):
A Japanese company has introduced new style of sleeping pod that lets you grab a power nap . . . while standing up. The Giraffenap is being marketed as a way to get a mid-day refresher, to improve concentration and work efficiency. As you may be aware, Japan is known as a hard-working country. In order to withstand grueling schedules and stress, some Japanese workers turn to short power naps. But why standing up? One of the main reasons Gireaffenap pods have a vertical orientation is space – it’s much easier to have them installed in small cafés and restaurants, as they take up very little room. In addition, the stand-up position supposedly makes it easier for the person using the pod to wake up from their power nap. Each Gireaffenap pod features a wake alarm, as well as support points for various parts of the body (head, buttocks, calves, and feet), to ensure that the sleepy-head maintains their upright position when napping. Giraffenap is currently being implemented in coffee shops and cafés. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/bdhfwu3n
(In coffee shops and cafés? I’m guessing there’s a very good reason they decided to call these things ‘pods’, rather than ‘stalls’!)
(If I wanted to pay to sleep while standing in a tin can, I’d just take the subway to work. Wait – I do!)
-OddityCentral
NEW GOOD NEWS:
➢ You break a traffic rule, it’s fair that you’d expect to receive a traffic ticket. But some Toronto drivers have been handed yellow or red cards by a fake soccer referee for bad driving behaviour lately. Since the start of FIFA Women’s World Cup, Martin Reis, a 59-year-old performance artist, has transformed himself into ‘Avery Goodcall’, a FIFA referee sporting a black and yellow uniform, along with a whistle, who – instead of giving violations to players for unsportsmanlike behaviour — hands out violations to drivers not following the rules of the road. Goodcall says he came up with the idea after noticing that in the city, many crosswalks are routinely blocked by vehicles, which then sit there idling while awaiting a green light. Quote: “I decided just to come out in the traffic and give out some red and yellow cards, which is like a really universal language, everybody knows soccer.” He usually donned his alter-ego costume during rush hour on days when a World Cup game was scheduled. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yc4zndkf
➢ A millionaire has fulfilled a dying boy’s wish for a ride in a supercar – and he is appealing for help to save him. Matt Fiddes, a former Michael Jackson bodyguard, took 6-year-old Woody Blight for a spin in his Lamborghini amid his battle with neuroblastoma. Video shows Woody having the time of his life in the exotic auto, and what’s more, Fiddes followed that up by taking the youngster for a ride in his Ferrari. And Millionaire Matt, who made headlines for buying the Lambo despite being unable to write, has since started a campaign, asking for doctors or specialists who could help save Woody’s life to come forward before it’s too late – and even offering to pay for his treatment. Woody’s mother, Paige, says her son desperately needs alternative medical solutions — after England’s National Health Service ran out of treatments to offer. She says of Fiddes: “He was just so lovely and kind – what he did and does is just amazing.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/yckba643
-CTV, SWNS
BABY NAMES SET TO MAKE A COMEBACK:
(According to Mia Bardot, the editor-in-chief of Random Names, feels parents these days are looking for “timeless classics which evoke nostalgia”, and expects a run on these baby names…in order of popularity…)
1. Eleanor
2. Julia
3. Betty
4. Dorothy
5. Florence
6. Henry
7. Oliver
8. Vincent
9. Abraham
10. Noah
11. Margaret
12. Adelaide
13. Inez
14. Evelyn
15. Estelle
16. James
17. Leo
18. Louis
19. Edwin
20. Chester
(This doesn’t sound like a ‘baby-names’ list. It sounds like an “Aunts-and-Uncles-I-had-to-invite-to-my-wedding-because-my-parents-insisted” list!)
-HuffPost
DID YOU KNOW?
It seem that fast-food and casual dining delivery is becoming less popular – as more people are opting to put on some clothes, comb their hair, and actually go pick it up themselves — or even opt to eat-in. US analysts say the dip in delivery is mainly because people are watching their wallets these days. With lockdowns behind us, consumers are no longer willing to pay the fees AND inflated menu prices associated with ordering through an app.
-Insider
BS CHRONOMETER 08.21.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Senior Citizens Day”, to recognize and show appreciation for the value and contribution of elders to home, family, and society. So, make sure you call Grandma and Grandpa today. Or take them out for dinner…at 4 o’clock!
• “Spumoni Day”, saluting the Italian dessert made from layers of ice cream, whipped cream, candied fruit, and nuts. It is typically made with 3 layers of flavor: Chocolate, Pistachio, Cherry.
• “Poets Day”. Poetry is a form of writing that uses the aesthetic and rhythmic qualities of a language, combined with simile and metaphor, to bring out meanings deeper than the mere definition of the words. (And that was a fairly poetic description, don’t you think?)
• “Brazilian Blowout Day”, for those who haven’t tried it, the hair-smoothing process can take it from frizzy and out-of-control to soft and impossibly shiny in just one sitting.
• “Stay Home With Your Kids Day”, didn’t we just do this….ALL summer???
• “Cupcake Day”, saluting those fabulous little cakes that don’t count as cheating on your diet ’cause they’re just small … right? In Australia, the day is a fundraiser in which people are asked to ‘bake a difference’ to support animal shelters, RSPCAs, and Humane Societies.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day
[Tues] Eat a Peach Day
[Wed] Buttered Corn Day
[Thurs] Strange Music Day
This Week Is…Management Training Week
This Month Is…Golf Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [67] Kim Cattrall, Liverpool England [raised in Courtenay BC], TV actress (‘Samantha Jones’ on “Sex and the City” 1998-2004, “How I Met Your Father” 2022-2023)/movie actress (“Porky’s”, “Police Academy”)
1967 [56] Carrie-Anne Moss, Burnaby BC, movie actress (“The Matrix” movies) COMING UP…”Die Alone”
1973 [50] Sergey Brin, Moscow Russia [raised in Adelphi MD], computer wiz (co-founded Google with Larry Page in 1998)/net worth: $104 billion
1979 [44] Kelis (Rogers), New York City NY, pop singer (‘Milkshake’, ‘Bossy’)
1983 [40] Brody Jenner, Los Angeles CA, reality TV star (“The Hills” 2007-2010, “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” 2007-15)/half-brother of Kendall and Kylie Jenner
1986 [37] Usain Bolt, Trelawny Jamaica, retired world’s fastest sprinter (8 Olympic gold medals; 11 World Championship golds)/world 100-meter record (9.58) & 200-meter record (19.19)
1988 [35] Kacey Musgraves, Alba TX, country singer (‘Merry Go ‘Round’, ‘Rainbow’)
1989 [34] Hayden Panettiere, Palisades NY, TV actress (‘Juliette Barnes’ on “Nashville” 2012-18, “Heroes” 2006-09)
1992 [31] RJ Mitte (Roy Frank Mitte III), Lafayette LA, TV actor (“Breaking Bad” 2008-13)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1987 [36] “Dirty Dancing,” starring Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey, opens in theaters (The first film to sell more than a million home video copies)
2019 [04] Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is named Forbes’ highest paid actor for a second year in a row, earning $89.4m (Also topped the list for 2022, with $270 million)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2015 [08] When the Westboro Baptist Church, famous for anti-gay demonstrations, stages a protest before a Foo Fighters concert in Kansas City, the band responds by driving a truck in front of the demonstrators and “Rickrolling” them by blasting Rick Astley’s ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’
2017 [06] During the historic solar eclipse, Bonnie Tyler sings ‘Total Eclipse of The Heart’ on a cruise ship, while Ozzy Osbourne performs ‘Bark at The Moon’ in Carterville, IL
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2004 [19] American swimmer Michael Phelps wins his 8th medal of the Athens Olympics, tying him with Soviet gymnast Aleksandr Dityatin for most medals in a single Olympics (he eventually becomes the most decorated athlete in Olympic history with a total of 28 medals, including 23 golds)
2015 [08] The oldest “message in a bottle” announced: More than 108 years after being cast adrift by UK Marine Biological Association, it was found on beach in Amrum, Germany
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ “Hello” didn’t become a greeting until the telephone arrived.
✓ Facebook’s color scheme is blue because Mark Zuckerberg suffers from red-green color-blindness.
✓ Green olives and black olives are not different species. The distinction reflects whether they were picked before or after ripening.
✓ The higher a plane flies, the less fuel it uses.
✓ The largest recorded snowflake was 15 inches (38cm) wide.
✓ A typical banana travels 4,000 miles (644km) before being eaten.
-Facts, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS REALLY BAD PRESS CONFERENCE OPENING LINES:
✗ “My pants will be arriving shortly.”
✗ “It was never my intention to get caught.”
✗ “I’d like to thank my wives for standing here beside me.”
✗ “I’ll keep this short because I need to flee the country.”
✗ “I am so high right now.”
✗ “Florida law says if I don’t like your questions, I can shoot you.”
✗ “I thought I said no fat reporters.”
✗ (***Caution***) “Look at you sorry sons-of-bitches.”
-First published in BS in 2016
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Rudy Giuliani is reportedly broke. (So broke, he can’t even afford to change the fluid in his hair…)
➠ Morgan Wallen shaved his head. (That or his hair chose to no longer be associated with him. Either way, it’s gone…)
➠ Megan Fox says she would be an archaeologist if she weren’t an actress. (So, I guess she’s an archaeologist…)
➠ The Patriots just signed ex-Cowboys RB Ezekiel Elliott to a one-year deal worth up to $6 million. (Pats fans are eagerly looking forward to more exciting playoff exits…!)
➠ I just read that about 33 in 100 people leave the TV on while having sex. (The other 77 are married and leave the TV on while NOT having sex!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Monday, illustrated (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/4w9p94ru
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Who were Moe, Larry and Curly?
a) The Marx Brothers
b) The Three Stooges [CORRECT]
c) Crosby, Still and Nash
d) The Kardashian sisters
• What was the “Black Death” also known as?
a) Bubonic plague [CORRECT]
b) Chicken pox
c) Tuberculosis
d) My wife’s mood the week I forgot her birthday
• A tadpole is a baby what?
a) Fish
b) Caterpillar
c) Frog [CORRECT]
d) Pole
-IsThatYourFinalAnswer
BS RANDOM JOKE:
My job is super confidential. As a result, I’ve got no clue what I’m doing.
BS PHONE STARTER:
Describe your ex using a movie title.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 53% of us say THIS person changed their life for the better. Who is it?
Answer: A teacher
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
We’re not here to see through each other — We’re here to see each other through.