Tuesday, August 20, 2019 Edition: #6513
Sheeters Always Prosper!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull is back! And as promised, all Bull Sheet subscribers have received account credits for missed service days during the BS Summer holiday.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Game of Thrones” creator George R.R. Martin has said the hugely popular HBO adaptation of his most famous work “wasn’t very good” for him and slowed down his writing. He went on to say the controversy surrounding the ending of the show, which saw over a million people sign a petition for it to be redone, will not have an impact on how he plans to end the books. Martin, who has so far published five novels of the series, with plans for two more to finish the saga, is notorious for infuriating fans for not writing fast enough. At this point, there is no firm date for the publication of the next novel, entitled “The Winds of Winter”.
-Yahoo
★ NBC is turning on the lights and opening up the bar again for a “St. Elmo’s Fire” TV series remake. The 1985 coming-of-age classic cemented stars Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy and Demi Moore as core members of the ’80s “Brat Pack.” The original film chronicled the trials and tribulations of a group of close friends after their graduation from Georgetown University. NBC is adapting the story to modern day, which won’t be too much of an issue, as the original film dealt with fairly timeless themes of adjusting to adulthood, struggling with career choices, and unrequited love.
-Slashfilm
★ George Clooney reportedly wants to sell his favourite Italian cheese in America. He become a fan of “Pecorino de Pardu” cheese – which is made by a farmer named Peppino in the lakeside town of Laglio – after sampling the dairy snack while on vacation at his villa on Lake Como. He’s said to have already shipped 32kg of the hard, salty, sheep-milk cheese back to Los Angeles, which he intends on handing out as samples to his friends and potential customers.
-ContactMusic
★ Olivia Colman is voicing a character in The Simpsons. The Oscar-winning actress will play a femme fatale who falls in love with Homer Simpson in an episode of the upcoming 31st season of the long-running animated series. Colman is also poised to play Queen Elizabeth in the fourth and fifth seasons of “The Crown”.
-Canoe
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jim Gaffigan, Dave Salmoni, Snoop Dogg (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Nicki Minaj, Phoebe Robinson, Julia Michaels (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jeff Goldblum, Aisha Tyler (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Lily James, Millie Bobby Brown, Little Mix (R)
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Isla Fisher, Bobby Lee
• “Conan” (TBS): Marc Maron
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jerry O’Connell, Shannon Beador (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Chelsea Handler, Dr. Ian Smith (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jamie Foxx, Julianna Margulies, Laurie Gelman, KT Tunstall
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Pink, O’Shea Jackson Jr. (R)
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC): Demi tells Chris how conflicted she feels; a new arrival has her designs on Chris; Demi reconnects with the woman she left behind.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Quarter Finals 2
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The JUNO Awards – Saskatoon, Saskatchewan will host Canada’s largest music event in 2020. The 49th annual JUNO Awards will be broadcast live on CBC from the SaskTel Centre on Sunday, March 15.
• Cardi B – Constance Wu says that Cardi taught her to how to give a lap dance for their new movie “Hustlers”. Jennifer Lopez, Julia Stiles, Keke Palmer, Lili Reinhart and Lizzo also star in the film, set to open Sept. 13.
• Nicki Minaj – has changed the display name on her Twitter account to “Mrs. Petty”, leading some fans to believe that wedding bells could soon be on the way for her and fiancé Kenneth Petty. The name change on social media comes days after she spoke about filing for a marriage license, which expires in 90 days.
• Maya Hawke – The “Stranger Things” star has kicked off her music career with the support of her famous father. She posted a snippet and artwork for her single ‘To Love a Boy’ and ‘Stay Open’ to Instagram, and her dad, Ethan Hawke, shared it, calling the songs “gorgeous.”
• Allman Brothers – One of his old guitars, named “Layla”, sold for $1.25 million at auction. The guitar is the one Allman played on the Derek and the Dominoes hit of the same name. Until recently, it had been on display at The Allman Brothers Band museum at The Big House in Macon, Georgia.
• Billy Idol – says he was reckless when it came to drugs and alcohol back in the 80s because he thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of being ”isolated” from humanity and living in his own ”dimension.” Now, he says he gets his high from being on stage and working out in the gym…plus some “red wine and the occasional joint”.
• Keith Urban — has taken to Twitter to express his admiration of Taylor Swift. He calls her latest single ‘Lover’ ”exquisitely written”. In response, Swift wrote: ”ARE YOU KIDDING ME THIS IS THE NICEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID – you’re just the best and so kind to say this.”
• Blake Shelton — Some fans are taking his latest song ‘Hell Right’ as a subtle diss against rapper Lil Nas X. Hell Right, released on Thursday, contains the line: “Then the girl from the small town took off the ‘Old Town,’ put on a little Hank Jr.” Shelton said through a spokesperson that “this literally has nothing to do with anything at all except how much the song is played. It could have been ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ or any other (overplayed) song.”
THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES: (Streaming and/or DVD)
• “Men in Black International” (PG-13, Action/Adventure): The Men in Black tackle their biggest threat to date: a mole in the Men in Black organization. (Chris Hemsworth, Tessa Thompson)
• “Booksmart” (R-Rated, Comedy): On the eve of their high school graduation, two academic superstars and best friends realize they should have worked less and played more. Determined not to fall short of their peers, the girls try to cram four years of fun into one night. (Kaitlyn Dever, Beanie Feldstein)
• “Ma” (R-Rated, Horror): A lonely woman befriends a group of teenagers and decides to let them party at her house. Just when the kids think their luck couldn’t get any better, things start happening that make them question the intention of their host. (Octavia Spencer, Juliette Lewis)
• “John Wick: Chapter 3-Parabellum” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): Super-assassin John Wick is on the run after killing a member of the international assassin’s guild, and with a $14 million price tag on his head – he is the target of hit men and women everywhere. (Keanu Reeves, Halle Berry)
FACIAL FACTS:
Amazon claims that they can now spot fear. That’s right, the company’s facial recognition technology, called “Rekognition” has a new skill. The company says it recently launched updates to Rekognition’s facial analysis features, including improved age estimation and the addition of ‘fear’ to its emotion detection. They claim that Rekognition can now spot eight human emotions: Happy, sad, angry, surprised, disgusted, calm, confused, and the newly-added fear. Amazon says its software can track and analyze hundreds of people in a photo using a database with tens of millions of faces. Critics have expressed concerns about the technology, and the American Civil Liberties Union is seeking a delay on police use of Rekognition after its test of the software wrongly flagged 26 California lawmakers as criminals.
(Sounds like it might work pretty well after all!)
(It seems their facial recognition technology works about as well as their spell-check!)
(If people want to disable the technology, all we have to do is shave our eyebrows!)
-CNET)
SLIPPING AWAY:
It sounds bananas, but it could be the end of the vine for the common banana. Apparently, a deadly fungus that has tormented banana farms in Southeast Asia for nearly three decades, has landed in Latin America—and it could mean extinction for the fruit. A strain of the Fusarium oxysporum fungus (also called Tropical Race 4) has been found in Columbia, causing the government there to declare a national state of emergency. Really. Farmers have been instructed to quarantine plantations and destroy bananas where the fungus was first detected. Exeter University’s chair in food Sarah Gurr says that we could “lose Cavendish” due to the fungus. Cavendish is the most popular breed of banana.
(Quick! Make some banana bread while you can!)
(How will this affect my crippling addiction to banana cream pie?)
(I don’t know if this is all true, but I’m pretty sure it gives them an excuse to charge me more than 59 cents to grow them, ship them across the world, truck them to a store, and pay a guy to put them on a shelf, just so I can reject the one with a blemish on the peel!)
-Delish
FOODS YOU SHOULD NEVER EAT BEFORE BED:
✗ Anything fried: Greasy, fatty foods get through your system slower than protein and carbs, so your body will still be hard at work by the time you try to fall asleep. (So why does that stuff knock me out in the afternoon if I have it for lunch?)
✗ Hot sauce: Spicy foods before bed can irritate the stomach, plus it can cause heartburn. (So don’t put that [stuff] on your toothbrush!)
✗ Turkey: Yes, you’ve heard about how the tryptophan in turkey makes you sleepy on Thanksgiving…but turkey might actually keep you awake. The protein signals your brain to produce dopamine, the ‘motivation molecule’ that gives you energy.
✗ Alcohol: Ending your day with a glass (or two) of red wine might conk you out, but you won’t be getting good quality sleep. As you are entering dreamland, your body is still hard at work trying to remove the alcohol from your system. (Plus, there’s the fact that you’re still in the back of your buddy’s car…)
✗ Chocolate: One ounce of chocolate contains about 23 milligrams of caffeine, which is a quarter of the amount in a cup of coffee. ‘Nuff said.
✗ Water: Taper off your fluid intake after dinner. Why? So your sleep isn’t interrupted by you having to drag yourself out of bed to use the bathroom. (Or worse…)
✗ Workout supplements: Sports shakes and snacks often contain caffeine to pump up athletes’ performance. (Well, there’s one food that I don’t have to worry about!)
-MSN
DID YOU KNOW?
Roughly 33% of cats are not affected by catnip. The euphoric reaction commonly associated with catnip is hereditary. It also does not affect kittens until they are about six months old.
-TrueInstinct
BS CHRONOMETER 08.20.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [71] Robert Plant, West Bromwich UK, classic rock singer (‘Tall Cool One’, Led Zeppelin-‘Stairway to Heaven’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1995)
1954 [65] Al Roker, Queens NY, TV show host (“Today Show” since 1996, Host of NBC’s coverage of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade since 1995)
1956 [63] Joan Allen, Rochelle IL, movie actress (‘Jason Bourne’ films, “Room”)
1969 [50] Billy Gardell, Pittsburgh PA, TV actor (‘Mike Biggs’ on “Mike & Molly” 2010-16)
1970 [49] Fred Durst, Jacksonville FL, singer (Limp Bizkit-‘Rollin’)
1974 [45] Amy Adams, Vicenza, Italy, movie actress (“American Hustle”, “Arrival”) COMING UP…”The Woman in the Window”
1983 [36] Andrew Garfield, Los Angeles CA [raised Surrey UK], movie actor (“The Amazing Spider-Man” films, “The Social Network”) COMING UP…”Mainstream”
1992 [27] Demi Lovato, Albuquerque NM, pop singer (‘Heart Attack’, “Sorry Not Sorry’)/TV personality (“The X Factor” 2012-13)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Lemonade Day”, to honor the old-fashioned Summer refreshment favorite. Many sources indicate that lemonade was invented in Paris, France on this day in 1630.
• “Radio Day”, for no apparent reason other than someone penciled it in on a calendar years ago. To celebrate, all on-air personalities get a hefty raise and a day off. (In my dreams…)
• “World Mosquito Day”, observed annually to commemorate the 1897 date when British doctor Sir Ronald Ross discovered the link between malaria transmission and mosquitoes. At the time it created a lot of buzz.
• “Bacon Lovers Day”, saluting one of the oldest of all processed meats. The Chinese began salting pork bellies as early as 1500 BC. What odd dish do you include bacon in … or on?
• “Medical Transporters Day”, the history can be traced back to World War I where Field Ambulances transported those in need of medical care to facilities where they could be treated. This innovation moved into hospitals in the form of Medical Orderlies, and into the community in the form of ambulances.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Senior Citizens Day
[Wed] Poet’s Day
[Thurs] Be an Angel Day
[Thurs] Eat a Peach Day
This Week Is…National Aviation Week
This Month Is…National Peach Month
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2012 [07] Groundbreaking comedian Phyllis Diller dies at her Los Angeles CA home at age 95
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2016 [03] The Tragically Hip play their final concert in their hometown of Kingston, Ontario. 6,700 attend the show, including Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, with an additional 25,000 gathered outside. Almost 12 million Canadians watch on TV or online. The tour had been announced the day after it was revealed that lead singer Gord Downie had been diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1920 [99] American Professional Football Conference (APFC), forerunner of the NFL, is created during a meeting at the Jordan & Hupmobile Auto Showroom in Canton, Ohio
2000 [19] Tiger Woods wins the PGA Championship to become the 1st golfer since Ben Hogan in 1953 to win 3 majors in a single year
2012 [07] Augusta National Golf Club (home of The Masters) announces it’s finally opening its doors to women (former US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and banker Darla Moore become the 1st female members)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004 [15] In an event arranged by the Washington Tow Truck Association, 83 trucks roll through Wenatchee WA, setting a Guinness Record for ‘World’s Largest Parade of Tow Trucks’
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Walt Disney was a direct descendant of King Edward I.
✓ Icing a burn actually slows the healing process. Running cold water over it is more effective.
✓ Under US federal law, clothing tags must last the lifetime of the garment.
✓ If you kicked a ball in space, it would keep going forever (unless it hit something).
✓ The first “Avon Lady” was actually a man (Company founder David McConnell in 1886).
✓ In 2010, an Australian bank gave some customers lottery tickets instead of paying interest.
-TheBathroomReadersInstitute
BS IF MOM RAN TWITTER:
• I wouldn’t be allowed to follow your Twitter account until my mom called your mom to make sure it’s OK.
• There would be a lot fewer tweets, because “If you cant say anything nice about someone…don’t say anything at all.”
• You’d always receive notifications to wear a jacket.
• It would be so much easier for her to embarrass me in front of my friends.
• We’d have to stop tweeting when the streetlights came on.
• Bible verses. Everywhere.
• You would have to “Go ask your Father” before tweeting.
• No tweeting until your chores are done.
• My account would be dedicated to apologizing. Exclusively.
• You can be sure that people would be a lot more careful about their spelling and grammar!
• Of course, she’d insist that we “Tweet people the way we’d like to be tweeted”!
• “You know, that other account’s son is a doctor…”
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
BS BORING CAMPFIRE STORIES:
• “It was a bright and non-stormy day…”
• “…and the ghost’s name was Casper. He was friendly. The end.”
• “I went to the grocery store the other day. I got everything on my list, then I went home and put it away.”
• “This one time… at band camp… we got our instruments…. and played songs…. and that’s it.”
• “The one about that time we brought the wrong sandwiches.”
• “…and it was then I realized that I forgot to claim that deduction on my taxes…”
• “The one where Smokey the Bear told me that only I can prevent forest fires — and then he separately told the same thing to like every other kid. How am I supposed to believe anything he says?”
• “My dating history in excruciating detail.”
• “Any story about your kids.”
• “…and the call was coming from a call center in Des Moines, Iowa!”
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Some days, I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while I’m talking on it.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is your fool-proof, never-fail method of falling asleep?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 28% of new couples wait six months before doing THIS. What is it?
Answer: Leaving a toothbrush at the other’s home
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want.
