Friday, August 23, 2019 – Edition: #6516
Get a Load of This Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Tom Bergeron is among the many people who are confused by the decision to cast controversial former White House staffer Sean Spicer on the upcoming season of “Dancing With the Stars.” Bergeron wrote: “It is the prerogative of the producers, in partnership with the network, to make whatever decisions they feel are in the best long-term interests of the franchise.” He went on, writing: “We can agree to disagree, as we do now, but ultimately it’s their call.” Others in the Season 28 cast, which premieres on Sept. 16, include Christie Brinkley, Lamar Odom, Lauren Alaina and James Van Der Beek.
-TheBlast
★ Can Deadpool rescue Spidey? The internet sure seems to hope so. With news that Spider-Man’s future hangs in the balance after Sony and Marvel failed to reach a deal to keep the character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, some folks are looking to Ryan Reynolds for help. One person tweeted a plea for a dream collaboration between Reynolds and Holland, writing: “Can we get a Spiderman & Deadpool movie now?” That caught the attention of Reynolds, who responded with a tweet of his own, saying: “You can. But you can only see it in my heart.”
-CNN
★ Quentin Tarantino may need to learn to keep it rated ‘G’ around his home now that he and his wife Daniella are expecting their first child. Tarantino, the 56-year-old director of famously violent films like “Django: Unchained,” “Pulp Fiction” and “Kill Bill,” met Israeli singer and model Daniella Pick while promoting his film “Inglorious Basterds” in 2009. The two married in 2018, a first marriage for both.
-CNN
★ The axe Jack Nicholson famously wielded in Stanley Kubrick’s classic horror film “The Shining” will be sold at auction in London. The prop is one of 900 items of movie memorabilia set to be sold on Sept. 30 and Oct. 1. It’s expected to sell for between US$48,000 and $73,000.
-Canoe
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Henry Winkler, Roselyn Sanchez, Daniel Caesar (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dana Carvey, Emily Ratajkowski, Chloe Hilliard (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Idris Elba, Maude Apatow, Perry Farrell (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jake Tapper, MJ Rodriguez, Nate Smith (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Jeff Goldblum, Andie MacDowell, Bishop Briggs (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Amy Poehler, Ciara (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Katy Mixon, Avril Lavigne (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Samuel L. Jackson, Juan Archuleta, NOTD featuring Georgia Ku
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Scarlett Johansson, Brie Larson, Hannah Hart, Toro y Moi (R)
• “13 Reasons Why” (NETFLIX): Season 3 premiere
SATURDAY-
• “All Summer Long” (HALLMARK): Tia’s dream job of captaining a dining cruise hits rough water when her ex is hired as the restaurant’s chef.
• “Hitsville: The Making of Motown” (SHOWTIME): Motown Records becomes the most successful label of all time after its formation in 1958 Detroit amid racial tension and the burgeoning civil rights movement.
SUNDAY-
• “The Affair” (SHOWTIME): Season 5 premiere. Anna Paquin joins the cast for the final season, which will be the first not to include Joshua Jackson and Ruth Wilson.
• “Ballers” (HBO): Season 5 premiere. Former football star Spencer Strasmore struggles with life after football, taking a job as a financial manager for current stars and veterans alike.
• “Chesapeake Shores” (HALLMARK): Kevin considers marrying Sarah; Jess and David begin running their bed and breakfast in Tanglewood; Abby and Mick come to the realization that their careers are in trouble.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift — has teamed up with Stella McCartney to release a line of clothing and accessories. She and the British fashion designer (and daughter of Paul McCartney) decided to create a collection of pieces to mark the debut of her new album “Lover” after they met and hit it off at one of her concerts in London.
• Miley Cyrus – Her husband Liam Hemsworth has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. The couple were married in Dec. 2018. He is asking the court not to award either of them spousal support, citing a prenup the former couple signed before they tied the knot. They announced their split on Aug. 10.
• Rush — will release a 5LP edition of their 2013 live album “Clockwork Angels Tour”, on October 11th. It will present material from the band’s 2012 concerts in Phoenix, Dallas and San Antonio, plus bonus tracks from the original CD release, including a version of ‘Limelight’ recorded during soundcheck.
• Hootie & the Blowfish – have announced their first new album since 2005, “Imperfect Circle” Pre-orders begin on Sept. 1. The band’s North American tour began last night, and they have just announced eight October shows in Ireland and the UK.
• Keith Urban – He and his actress wife Nicole Kidman attended Iron Maiden’s concert in Nashville, on Monday(!). The couple met the band backstage and posed for a group photo, which he later shared to Instagram, calling it “a surreal dream come true for me (us) to meet you guys…ALL HAIL THE MATCHLESS, THE PEERLESS IRON MAIDEN.”
• Kelsea Ballerini – posted that that she will soon release the debut single from her upcoming third studio record. Neither a title nor a release date for her next album have been announced, but we do know that she collaborated with artists including Ryan Tedder, Julia Michaels, and Ed Sheeran.
• Billy Ray Cyrus — will be a presenter at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs). Cyrus, Lenny Kravitz and John Travolta will be handing out the prizes at the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey, on Monday. They join previously-announced performers Taylor Swift, Jonas Brothers, Camila Cabello, Shawn Mendes, Bad Bunny, J Balvin, Lil Nas X, Lizzo, Rosalía and Vanguard Award recipient Milly Elliott.
• Alabama — has postponed the remainder of their 50th Anniversary Tour over ongoing health concerns with singer Randy Owen. He is battling ongoing cluster migraines and vertigo, making performing nearly impossible for the 69-year-old. Right now, the only scheduled date on Alabama’s website is Oct. 22, when they are inducted into the Musicians Hall of Fame.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Angel Has Fallen” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): Secret Service Agent Mike Banning is framed for the attempted assassination of the President and must evade his own agency and the FBI as he tries to uncover the real threat. (Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Jada Pinkett Smith)
• “Ready or Not” (R-Rated, Horror): A bride’s wedding night takes a sinister turn when her eccentric new in-laws force her to take part in a terrifying game. (Samara Weaving, Adam Brody)
• “Jacob’s Ladder” (R-Rated, Horror): After returning home from the Vietnam War, Jacob Singer struggles to maintain his sanity. Plagued by hallucinations and flashbacks, he rapidly falls apart as the world and people around him morph and twist into disturbing images. A remake of the 1990 thriller starring Tim Robbins. (Jesse Williams, Joseph Sikora)
• “Brittany Runs a Marathon” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama): Brittany is a funny, likeable, hot mess of a New Yorker whose trashy nightclub adventures and early-morning walks of shame make her late for work every day. On the verge of a complete breakdown, she decides to train for the New York Marathon. (Jillian Bell, Jennifer Dundas)
DOGFISHING:
When it comes to online dating terminology, you’ve heard of ‘ghosting’ and ‘breadcrumbling’ and ‘catfishing’, but …‘dogfishing’? Yup, that’s a thing now. That’s the term which has been given to the dastardly act of “borrowing someone else’s dog for pictures on dating apps or social media.” Why would anyone do such a thing? According to a 2014 survey from Match.com, more women had their eyes out for men with dogs. And according to the dating app Bumble, those who pose with a pooch could give the impression of “stability” and “loyalty” to prospective matches. But online dating coach Erika Ettin says “It’s just odd when you’re using someone else’s dog online, and it seems like you’re trying too hard.”
(So the secret to projecting stability and loyalty is to not get caught!)
(I tried it. She was looking for a dude with a borrowed Ferrari!)
(Just my luck. My dog’s uglier than I am!)
-FOX
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A teen in India whose parents gave him a BMW for his birthday wasn’t happy with their selection, and because he wanted a Jaguar, he decided to do something about it. Young Akash thought the wisest thing to do with his new Beemer was take it for a swim. The car was pulled out with a crane. Police say that it is a personal matter and they will “proceed according to the law”.
(You’ve heard of today’s ‘entitled’ kids? This kid isn’t entitled to ANYTHING!)
➢ The most swiped-right man on Tinder couldn’t find love on the app — instead he found it IRL. 29-year-old male model and trained pilot Stefan-Pierre Tomlin earned the title “Mr. Tinder” after the app announced he’d gotten a record-breaking 14,600 matches in two years. But after five years of swiping — and matching with an average of 20 women a day — he finally met his new girlfriend, Natasha, the old-fashioned way: A mutual friend introduced them. The pair have been seeing each other since April.
(In real life, not on their screens!)
➢ (***Caution: POOP***) Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro has suggested people should “poop every other day” as a way to save the planet. His comment came in answer to a journalist who asked him how to combine agricultural development and protecting the environment. Bolsonaro suggested that it would be a help if people ate a little less, saying: “You talk about environmental pollution. It’s enough to poop every other day. That will be better for the whole world.”
(And that comes from a politician, who are known to produce more of it than anyone else!)
-TheSun, TheBlast, BBC
BS CHRONOMETER 08.23.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [88] Barbara Eden, Tucson AZ, TV actress (“I Dream of Jeannie” 1965-70)
1949 [70] Rick Springfield, Sydney Australia, rock singer (‘Jessie’s Girl’, ‘I’ve Done Everything for You’), TV actor (‘Noah Drake’ on “General Hospital” 1981-2013)
1949 [70] Shelley Long, Fort Wayne IN, TV actress (‘Diane Chambers’ on “Cheers” 1982-1993, “Modern Family” 2009-19)
1961 [58] Dean DeLeo, Montclair NJ, rock guitarist (Stone Temple Pilots – ‘Plush’, ‘Interstate Love Song’)
1970 [49] Jay Mohr, Verona NJ, movie actor (“Are We There Yet?”, “Jerry Maguire”)/TV personality (“Last Comic Standing”/standup comedian (“Jay Mohr: Happy. And a Lot.”)
1976 [43] Scott Caan, LA CA, TV actor (‘Det Danno Williams’ on “Hawaii Five-O” since 2010)/movie actor (“Ocean’s 11″ movies, “Gone In 60 Seconds”)/son of actor James Caan
1978 [41] Julian Casablancas, NYC, rock singer-songwriter (The Strokes – ‘Last Nite’)/son of Elite Models founder John Casablancas
1978 [41] Kobe Bryant, Philadelphia PA, retired basketball player (NBA champ with the Los Angeles Lakers 2000-02 and 2009-10, NBA MVP 2008)
1980 [39] Joanne Froggatt, Littlebeck UK, TV actress (‘Anna Bates’ on “Downton Abbey” 2010-15)
SATURDAY- Vince McMahon (CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment) is 74; Baseball player Cal Ripkin is 59; Marlee Matlin (“Children of a Lesser God”) is 54; Dave Chappelle (“Chappelle’s Show”) is 46; Alex O’Loughlin (“Hawaii Five-O”) is 43; Rupert Grint (“Harry Potter”) is 31
SUNDAY- Sean Connery (“James Bond”) is 89; Gene Simmons (“KISS”) is 70; Elvis Costello (‘Pump It Up’) is 65; Tim Burton (“Beetlejuice”) is 61; Billy Ray Cyrus (‘Achy Breaky Heart’) is 58; Rachel Ray is 51; actress Blake Lively (“Gossip Girl”) is 32
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade & Its Abolition”, designated by UNESCO in 1998 as an annual observance to memorialize the transatlantic slave trade.
• “Hug Your Sweetheart Day”, an annual excuse to let your beloved know that he or she is always there in your fondest thoughts. Gag.
• “Sponge Cake Day”, celebrating the fat-free dessert that’s based on flour, sugar, and eggs. It has a firm yet well-aerated structure, similar to a sea sponge. (And is no good until it is covered with icing, whip cream, ice cream, or all 3!)
• “Buttered Corn Day”, are you a butter spreader or full cob roller? (Depends on who’s looking?)
• “Ride the Wind Day”, a day to soar above the earth or catch a ride with the breeze. Here are some great ways to enjoy Ride the Wind Day:
-Fly in an airplane
-Fly a kite
-Parachute
-Bungee jump
-Hang glide
-Ride a motorcycle
-Hop in a sailboat
(forget to do up your zipper?)
SATURDAY-
• “Peach Pie Day”, honoring the seasonal dessert made from flour, sugar, butter, and freshly-picked juicy peaches. Yummers! (Wed. was “Eat a Peach Day”. If you like peaches, this is your week!)
• “Waffle Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the invention of the ‘Waffle Iron’ by Cornelius Swartwout of Troy NY on this day in 1869. Other inventions attributed to today’s date include ‘Potato Chips’ (Chef George Crum, Saratoga Springs NY in 1853) and the ‘Motion Picture Camera’ (Thomas Edison in Menlo Park NJ, 1891). It’s no wonder August is tagged “National Inventors’ Month”.
• “Weather Complaint Day”, marking the date in 1897 when editor Charles Dudley Warner of the “Hartford Courant” published the quip, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” Which weather cliché is the worst?
SUNDAY-
• “Banana Split Day”, saluting the ooey-gooey sundae concoction that’s served in a ‘boat’.
• “Kiss-and-Make-Up Day”, a day to make amends in relationships that have deteriorated. Let’s see, there’s that ornery cab driver, that rip-off auto mechanic, the boss … (And is it a coincidence that ‘Kiss and Make-Up Day’ falls on Gene Simmons’ birthday?)
• “Secondhand Wardrobe Day”, celebrating the joys of shopping consignment shops, thrift stores, and anywhere else a clothing bargain can be had.
• “Whiskey Sour Day”, a salute to the mixed drink containing whiskey, lemon juice, and sugar. Whiskey sours are shaken, then served either straight up or over ice, traditionally garnished with half an orange slice and a maraschino cherry. Yes, please!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [19] 51 million watch the final episode of the original “Survivor” TV series (a Summer replacement show) as Richard Hatch is named the $1-million winner (then promptly forgets to pay his taxes, leading to jail time)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2007 [12] Queen guitarist Brian May is finally awarded his doctorate in astrophysics by London’s Imperial College (the degree he was seeking when he left school during the band’s first flush of success)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1966 [53] 1st photo of Earth from the Moon is taken by ‘Lunar Orbiter’
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2008 [11] Madonna kicks off the 86-date “Sticky & Sweet Tour” at Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales which goes on to become the highest grossing tour by a solo artist with $408 million. (Current record: Ed Sheeran, $737 million)
TODAY’S UNFORTUNATE EVENT…
2015 [04] A 12-year-old boy trips and rips the 17th-century painting “Flowers” by Paolo Porpora worth $1.5m at an exhibition in Taiwan
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Rainbows are actually Circular. We don’t typically see a full circle rainbow because the Earth’s horizon blocks the lower part.
✓ Wind doesn’t make a sound until it blows against an object.
✓ Gold never erodes.
✓ Elephants are the only mammal that can’t jump.
✓ Scorpions glow under ultra violet light.
✓ Camel’s milk doesn’t curdle.
-DidYouKnows
BS WHY TEENAGERS SCARE ME:
• I’m afraid I’ll trip over one every time I go to the basement.
• They won’t get off my lawn.
• Hormones and smartphones.
• Who can sleep got 14 hours straight and not die?
• They’re all taller than me.
• They never stop eating.
• They’re all on fleek. Which I think is some type of drug.
• We don’t speak the same language.
• I’ve actually smelled teen spirit and it REALLY stinks.
• Fortnight
• They wear hoodies during the summer.
• I used to be one.
–Twitter
BS REASONS YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR SUMMER TO END:
(You just don’t know it.)
• Tailgating – Grilling is great, but grilling + sports + beer + getting way too competitive is even better.
• Hot Cocoa – Nothing helps you kick back like a hot cup of cocoa, especially if it’s spiked.
• Halloween Candy – The only time it’s acceptable to have candy for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• Apple Picking – If you don’t pick your own apples, then you’re doing Fall all wrong.
• Holiday Leftovers – Mashed potatoes for days. Cranberry sauce on everything.
• Hot Soup – Not to mention cheddar broccoli bread bowls that’ll warm you up anytime.
• Pumpkin Pie – Might as well pop that top button on your pants now. It’s almost pie time.
• Pumpkin Spice Lattés – The first time each year that you catch a whiff of that pumpkin aroma, it’s magic.
• Mulled Wine – The perfect beverage for every Autumn party or family get-together.
• No More Hot Dogs – Bye-bye, Summer. We’ll be wanting you and your weenies again next year. Until then … so long tube steak!
– Adapted from SpoonUniversity.com, first published in ‘BS’ in 2014
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The closest I’ve come to murder is holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is one mystery that you would like the answer to?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 29% of people admit that they have, at some point, stolen THIS from a co-worker. What is it?
Answer: Chocolate
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is little chance that meteorologists can solve the mysteries of weather until they gain an understanding of the mutual attraction of rain and weekends.