Thursday, August 22, 2019 – Edition: #6515

Deja Moo!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The latest James Bond adventure finally has a title. The 25th entry in the action spy series will be named “No Time to Die.” Here’s what we know about the plot: Bond has left active service and is enjoying a tranquil life in Jamaica. His peace is short-lived when his old friend Felix Leiter from the CIA turns up asking for help. It will be released in North American theatres on April 8.
-MSN
★ Millie Bobby Brown is only 15 years old but she already has her own beauty line. The “Stranger Things” star is the latest celeb to get into the business with her line, named “Florence by Mills”. The full product range has yet to be unveiled in detail, but we do know that it is PETA-certified, cruelty-free and vegan, with an unspecified percentage of profits being donated to the Olivia Hope Foundation, an organization founded in honor of Brown’s late friend, Olivia Hope LoRusso.
-TheBlast
★ Jesse Tyler Ferguson has offered to officiate his TV niece’s wedding. Modern Family’s Sarah Hyland became engaged earlier this summer and Ferguson says that he’s a big fan of her husband-to-be, Wells Adams. He told Entertainment Tonight that he “would totally officiate. Why not? Wells is an upstanding, wonderful, hilarious, loving human, and I couldn’t ask for a sweeter guy to be with Sarah, who I adore.” At the very least, Ferguson says he’d “better be invited.”
-Canoe
★ Val Kilmer is cleaning out his closets and auctioning off a collection of keepsakes and art works. Among the items going under the hammer at Celebrity Authentics Auctions are a shirt he wore in “Batman Forever”, a custom-made hat from his critically mauled 1996 thriller “The Ghost In The Darkness”, and a replica of the black hat he wore as western hero Doc Holliday in “Tombstone”.
-Canoe
★ Mark Wahlberg made a young cancer survivor’s dreams come true by paying him a visit recently in Royal Oak, Michigan. Wahlberg surprised six-year-old Hudson Brown, who was diagnosed with brain cancer two years ago before undergoing 30 rounds of proton therapy and seven rounds of chemo. During their time together, Wahlberg told the youngster how strong he was. Brown’s recent MRI scan was clear and he’s now in remission.
-MSN
★ Larry King is seeking to end his marriage to his seventh wife. The 85-year-old former CNN host filed for divorce from his wife of 22 years, Shawn King, on Tuesday. The request for divorce cites irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split. This union marks King’s eighth marriage to seven women.
-CNN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Ben Stiller, Robin Thede, Brad Paisley, Max featuring Quinn XCII (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Rachel Brosnahan, Carla Gugino, Kyle “Bugha” Giersdorf, Ty Dolla $ign (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Emma Thompson, Adam Scott, Spiritualized (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Michael Moore, 2 Chainz, Brian Michael Bendis (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Michael Sheen, Paul Giamatti, Mumford & Sons (R)
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Arturo Castro, Sarah Tiana, Thomas Lennon
• “Conan” (TBS): Fred Armisen
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Fredrik Eklund, Denise Richards (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, Julian Lennon (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): NeNe Leakes, guest co-host Kristine Johnson (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Selena Gomez, Bill Hader, Mena Massoud, Che Spiotta
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Bradley Cooper (R)
• “Holey Moley” (ABC): Season 1 finale
• “Jersey Shore: Family Vacation” (MTV):  Season 3 premiere. The original “Jersey Shore” housemates relive their glory days while on vacation.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• (***Update: This has been revealed to be a hoax perpetrated by a 16-year-old***)Drake — just might perform at a fan’s wedding. An Instagram account called “drake_wedding” was recently created, and it has only one post, reading in part: “I made this account so I can surprise my fiancée! How many likes or follows for you to perform a couple songs at our wedding?” Drake actually replied, writing: “First off, congrats on getting married! And 1 million likes and 100,000 follows. Good luck.”
• Pink – is asking people to be ”a little bit kinder” to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. She praised Ellen Degeneres and Elton John for defending the royal couple in the face of criticism for taking multiple private jet flights this month. Pink tweeted: ”Let’s all be a bit kinder, huh? Let’s show our children that it’s cool to be kind.”
• Foo Fighters — drummer Taylor Hawkins says that frontman Dave Grohl has already started working on demos for the band’s next studio album. He believes the group will start “putting the songs together” once their current European tour is over. He says, “I think we’ll have a new record by next year. We should.”
• Third Eye Blind – will launch a U.S. tour this fall in support of their forthcoming album “Screamer”, out October 18th. Frontman Stephan Jenkins says: “We have always been so insular and on Screamer we adopted an open-door policy — come in, be musical, and follow the song where it takes us.” Billy Corgan is among those who make guest appearances on the album.
• Old Dominion — will release their new self-titled studio album on October 25th. Matthew Ramsey says this about their new song ‘My Heart Is A Bar’: “It’s…about feeling alone…That’s why we decided to treat this like a big, barroom sing-along, so we can all sing and say ‘Screw this!’ together!”
• Carrie Underwood – She and Joan Jett are teaming up for the 2019-2020 Sunday Night Football opening theme. The pair will be bringing back SNF’s original song, ‘Waiting All Day for Sunday Night’ for the upcoming NFL season. Jett’s song ‘I Hate Myself for Loving You’ is the song on which ‘Waiting All Day for Sunday Night’ is based.
• Johnny Cash – His estate has slapped an Illinois wedding venue with a lawsuit for using photos of his wedding to June Carter Cash to promote their wedding packages. They say despite firing off cease and desists to the business, “Johnny & June’s Reception Hall and Entertainment Venue” refuse to stop using Johnny Cash’s image or name.

GLOBAL WARNING:
Chances are that no one is really happy about climate change, but if you think it’s just people who are mad about it, think again. A new study says that extreme weather conditions could be making populations of spiders angry. Researchers from McMaster University in Hamilton, ON studied the behavior of spiders living in areas where extreme weather conditions constantly change their habitat, such as in storm-prone regions which could experience freak events such as tropical cyclones. They found that after a tropical cyclone, colonies with the most aggressive spiders produced more eggs and had more offspring that survived. This trend was so consistent that the researchers think it must be an evolutionary response. And of course, the long-term result of the survival of more aggressive types of spiders can only mean one thing: Climate change results in a higher ratio of angry spiders.
(And more people screaming and burning down their houses!)
(Let’s all just take a moment right now to be thankful that spiders don’t fly!)
(It must be true. I saw it on the web!)
-NYPost

ASSISTIVE TECHNOLOGY:
There’s a new tool to help the visually impaired better browse the web, which basically combines the best features of a screen reader and a virtual assistant. Voice Exploration, Retrieval and Search (VERSE) merges elements both technologies to create an instrument that eases the task of Googling. The knock on virtual assistants is that they can’t engage deeply enough with content for many visually impaired people, often only reading the first few sentences of an article. Screen readers allow for deeper engagement but aren’t as easy to use. VERSE essentially combines the two, and can be paired with other devices, such as smart speakers and watches, plus it has a smartphone app.
(I didn’t realize that virtual assistants don’t read beyond a few sentences. I THOUGHT that book seemed short!)
-NYPost

FAIRLY GOOD MENU:
Some of the foods available at Toronto’s Canadian National Exhibition, on now until Sept. 2:
• Frozen Cookie Dough Spaghetti:  Cookie dough based ice cream formed into the shape of spaghetti noodles, topped with strawberry, chocolate, or caramel sauce to represent traditional spag sauce, and sprinkled with icing sugar to represent parmesan cheese.
• Pickle Pizza:  Hand-tossed pizza topped with a homemade, specialty dill sauce, fresh mozzarella, thick, crunchy dill pickles and finished with a dill weed seasoning. (Pickle lemonade also available)
• Spicy Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Bacon Burger:  Beef burger topped with chocolate chip peanut butter cookie dough, jalapeno bacon in between a sweet brioche bun.
• Maple Bacon Churropop:  Your favourite dessert rolled up, put on a stick, and covered with some classic Canadian toppings.
• Cheesecake Curds:  Deep Fried Cheese Curds, topped with cherry or blueberry pie filling, drizzled in cream cheese icing, and sprinkled with graham cracker pie crust crumble.
• Smouldering Fire & Ice Bowl:  Charcoal and fiery (spice-cream) twisted ice cream served in a smoking bowl.
• Funnel Cake Chicken Sandwich:  A twist on a traditional fair favourite – a deep-fried battered chicken breast smothered in whipped cream and strawberry sauce between two traditional funnel cakes. Complete with a cherry on top and dusted with icing sugar.
• Haggis Macaroni & Smoked Cheese:  Haggis with whisky gravy, cheese curds on hand-cut fries topped with crispy onions. (Served near a washroom, I hope!)
• Mushroom Coffee:  Hailed for its health benefits, mushrooms are the new superfood, and can be enjoyed in coffee. (After all that stuff, you NEED something that’s good for you!)
(Remember when you went to the fair and it WASN’T about the food?  You just thought you were lucky if you got to share some candy floss with your sister. Or was that just me?)
-TheEx

DID YOU KNOW?
A study found that the most frequently misspelled words typed into Google searches are: ‘vacuum’, ‘definitely’, ‘appreciate’, ‘broccoli’, ‘desert’ & ‘leprechaun’. (Or at least that’s what they THINK people were typing…)
-ABC

BS CHRONOMETER 08.22.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [74] Steve Kroft, Kokomo IN, CBS News correspondent (retired from “60 Minutes” in May after 30 years)

1963 [56] Tori Amos, Newton NC, alt-rock singer (‘Winter’, ‘All These Earthquakes’)

1967 [52] Ty Burrell, Grants Pass OR, TV actor (‘Phil Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

1970 [49] Giada DeLaurentiis, Rome, Italy, TV chef (“Giada at Home”)/Culinary Hall of Fame (2012)

1972 [47] Paul Doucette, North Huntington PA, rock guitarist (Matchbox Twenty-‘3A.M.’, ‘Unwell’)

1973 [46] Howie Dorough, Orlando FL, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-‘I Want It That Way’)

1973 [46] Kristen Wiig, Canandaigua NY, movie actress (“Bridesmaids”)/TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 2005-12) COMING UP…”Wonder Woman 1984″, 2020

1978 [41] James Corden, London UK, TV host (“The Late Late Show” since 2015, “Tony Awards” host 2016, 2019) GRAMMYS host 2017, 2018/stage actor (2012 Tony Award for “One Man, Two Guvnors”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Eat a Peach Day”, the best way to eat a peach is while standing under a peach tree, immediately after picking it, with the juice running down your arm.

• “Southern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day”, a time for everyone Down Under to go outdoors at noon and yell ‘Hoodie-Hoo!’ to chase away Winter and make ready for Spring.

• “Tooth Fairy Day”, honoring the tradition of bartering molars for moolah. Where’s it come from? No one knows for sure, but there was a fairy tale in 18th-Century France about a ‘tooth mouse’ who hides under a pillow. The tooth fairy as we now know her didn’t make an appearance until the early 1900s, as a generalized ‘good fairy’ with a professional specialization. So how much is she paying for prime enamel these days?

• “Bao Day”, at first, one might consider it to be just a simple steamed bun. Dumplings aside, this is the flavorful Chinese dough used to make bāozi, or bao, and is stuffed with savory meats or sweets.

• “Pecan Torte Day”, Do you know these ‘Pecan Fast Facts’? No peekin’. . .
→ Pecans provide nearly 10 percent of the recommended Daily Value for zinc. If the body does not get enough zinc, it may have difficulty producing testosterone – a key hormone in initiating sexual desire in both men and women.
→ Pecan trees usually range in height from 70 to 100 feet, but some grow as tall as 150 feet or higher.
→ It would take 11,624 pecans, stacked end to end, to reach the top of the Empire State Building.
→ Texas adopted the pecan tree as its state tree in 1919. In fact, Texas Governor James Hogg liked pecan trees so much that he asked for one to be planted at his gravesite when he died.
→ Albany, Georgia, which boasts more than 600,000 pecan trees, is the pecan capital of the U.S.  Albany hosts the annual National Pecan Festival, which includes a race, parade, pecan-cooking contest, the crowning of the National Pecan Queen and many other activities.

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Buttered Corn Day
[Fri] Hug Your Sweetheart Day
[Sat] Can Opener Day
[Sat] National Waffle Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [13] Paramount Pictures severs all ties with Tom Cruise after 14 years, citing ‘bizarre antics’ (sofa-jumping) and ‘erratic behavior’ off-screen (BS translation: Scientology) They later reconsidered.

2018 [01] Forbes says that George Clooney made more money in a single year ($239 million) than any actor ever ($239 million), mostly due to sale of his tequila company.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2012 [07] Rapper star LL Cool J confronts an alleged burglar at his L.A. home. One broken nose, jaw, and rib later, Cool J has subdued the intruder and police take the suspect into custody. (No word on whether LL quoted ‘Mama Said Knock You Out’ during the altercation)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1989 [30] British Telecom unveils world’s 1st ‘Pocket Phone’ (that handy little drain for disposing of excess income)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2003 [16] Norwegian Elvis impersonator Kjell Bjornestad sets a new world record by performing Presley’s repertoire for 26 straight hours

2007 [12] Texas Rangers rout Baltimore Orioles 30-3, the most runs scored by one team in a modern Major League Baseball game

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Your brain uses only about one-tenth of a calorie per minute.
✓ Mushroom clouds can be created by any huge explosion.
✓ 75% of crossword puzzles are done by women.
✓ Like humans, ants spend only about a fifth of their day working.
✓ Research shows that poets die younger than writers of other genres.
✓ The average North American lives 13 years longer than the average celebrity.
–TheBathroomReadersInstitute

BS HOW TO PREPARE FOR THE BIRTH OF YOUR CHILD:
• Set an alarm for every two hours. Make sure the volume is all the way up.
• Fall asleep 5 minutes before the alarm goes off.
• Make 20 cups of coffee and don’t drink any of them.
• Unless they get cold. Then by all means, enjoy them.
• Get dressed, then pour milk on your shirt.
• Pour milk on the bed.
• Pour milk on the floor.
• Put a load of laundry in the washer and forget about it for a few days. Then remember, re-wash, and repeat.
• Stop brushing your teeth
• Practice Googling things like “normal poop color” “Why does my baby hate me?” and “Will I ever sleep again?”
• Eat. Everything. In. Sight.
• One-handed.
• Watch your husband sleep peacefully and plot his death.
-SimplePlay&CraftIdeas

Best of BS . . .
COMPLAINTS OF MODERN-DAY PIRATES:
• Girls expect us all to look like Jack Sparrow.
• No Wi-Fi is the new scurvy
• Can’t use a smartphone with my hook.
• Being swiped left on ‘Shiver me Tinders’.
• All the looting and pillaging is done on Wall Street now.
• Feel that use of the name ‘Arrrrby’s’ is cultural appropriation.
• A buccaneer is too much to pay for corn, damn it!
• Having to wait in line for a personal watercraft sticker.
• I feel ‘Meh’, not ‘Arrrrrr!’
• I’m not getting enough booty.
–Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the worst “new job” experience that you’ve ever had?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  A survey found that THIS is the thing that annoys people most about their spouse. What is it?
Answer:  Selective listening

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If it is important enough to you, you will find a way. If it is not, you will find an excuse.